And now we come to Mizzy-chan's Lair, a week after the initial capture of our heroes and villains. The Pokemon spend their days in the above ground meadows while their humans slave away in the massive kitchen of Chef Sheffe Ducky-Pants. Both humans and Pocket Monsters spend their nights in the Ye Olde Dungeon. Occasionally their insane master drags one of them off for horrible experiments. There seems to be only one hope for the group: a hope called...WOBBUFFET!!!
I gathered the prisoners in the lab one day to show off my latest masterpiece. "Behold!" I twirled around a bit. "Instant Wench! Just add water!" I decapitated a packet of powder, poured it onto the ground, and dripped some water onto it. Soon, the moist pile formed into...a chibi of Jesse!
"Whoa, that's freaky."
"That's so cute!"
"Hold on, 'Instant Wench?!' What's that supposed to mean?!" Jesse did that thing where her veins pop out and she grows fangs and her eyes catch fire. It was funny.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can call you a floozy...or a harlot...or simply taunt you about your short skirt..."
Jesse went to be mad in the corner. Ash poked the chibi a little. "So...what is it?" He asked me this hoping he could catch it in a Pokeball. I could see it in his eyes.
"Clone of devil-wench it be! In middle of night I scrape brain cells from floozy! Mmm-hmm! I clone!"
"When did you get the chance to get brain cells off of Jesse?"
"Um...when I did...in a ninja costume..."
"Riiiight. I'm gonna go now."
"HOLD IT!!! I have to play the slots of mutation!" I ran into the other room quickly.
Soon after Mizzy-chan ran into the other room a large tv screen on the wall turned on. Of course, Mizzy-chan was on it. "Welcome back too the Mizzy-chan channel! All insanity, every waking moment! HA! Here's the moment you've all been waiting for: it's time to play the...
Mizzy-chan pulled down the lever and the slot machine rolled. Ping! The first picture was Ash! Ping! The second picture was Ash! Ash hoped with all his heart that the last picture would be something else. He didn't want to be mutated again. Ping! The last picture was...a cherry?
"Phew!"
"You saw it, folks!" Mizzy-chan jumped up and down. "Today's mutation project will be...fusing Ash with a cherry!"
"AAAAAGH!!!"
"Isn't it wonderful? I can practically hear Ashy-poo screaming in terror! Whoo!" The screen clicked off and Mizzy-chan burst through the door. She did a little happy monkey dance.
"Oh, please please please don't mutate me! Please! I was your victim all week! You can't do this!" Ash kneeled before the maniac, practically crying.
"Awww, I just love it when people grovel at my feet. Okay, okay, I'll play the slots again. You is so cute." She patted him on the head like a puppy and went back into her little TV room.
The TV turned back on and Mizzy-chan went through her introduction again. Ash had noticed that she insists on doing ridiculous things like that over and over again. Finally, she pulled the lever and the slot machine rolled. Ping! First picture was Jesse! Ping! Second picture was James! Ping! Third picture was Meowth!
"...All three of them? At once? Hmm. That'll be interesting. Whoo!" The TV turned off and Mizzy-chan practically knocked the door off it's hinges as she returned. "Okay, looks like I'm going to fuse the three dorks. Into the Machine with ye!"
She snapped her fingers and Trink, who had been standing politely in the corner, pushed Team Rocket into the glass chamber of the Happy Horrible Mutant Machine. "But I don't wanna!" James whined.
"No whining!" Jesse snapped. "The more we cooperate with the lunatic, the sooner we'll be done with this."
"You're a smart wench." Mizzy-chan smiled. "Too bad you're still a wench. Maybe I could get you some pants or something. That costume's really wench-y." She pressed a few buttons on her machine control panel and the mutation began.
The chamber that held Team Rocket shone with bright light. Mizzy-chan did her customary maniacal laugh, then released the product of her filthy evil. Out of the machine staggered a creature neither human nor Pokemon but some mixture of both. Bits of all three were somehow fused together.
"Wha...what has happened to me?!" The fusion creature spoke with three voices at once. It looked at it's hands, equipped with sharp claws. It looked at it's arms, with the combined strength of three creatures. It felt it's teeth with it's tongue and found fangs. "Is this me?" It smiled. "MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Aah, veeeeery interesting. Much strange!" Mizzy-chan scribbled something down in a little notebook. "Fused creature seems be enjoying self. Yes, muchly interesting! I call new mutant...FuseRocket."
FuseRocket ran out the door. "FuseRocket very fast, mmm-hmm." Mizzy-chan scribbled in her book some more. "Come, we follow! Trink-chan, get the handcuffs!" Trink handcuffed the remaining prisoners together so that they wouldn't run away.
They followed the experiment as it found it's way to the only exit in the underground lair. It burst through the reinforced steel door without hesitating, and escaped into the outside world. Ash was worried. What sort of havoc could this creature wreak now that it's fused? Sure, individually, none of the three members of Team Rocket were anything special, but when Mizzy-chan has tampered with them...who knows what might happen?
The climbed out of the hole that led into Mizzy-chan's lair. "Mmm, fresh air!" Misty streched her arms and smiled. It had been a week since they had been outside. Mizzy-chan didn't let them enjoy it, though.
Poonsh! She sprayed some sort of powder on them. "All right, smooks! Think happy thoughts!" She sat crosslegged on the ground and slowly lifted into the air. She was floating!"Think of the presents you've brought, any merry little thought, think of Christmas, think of snow, think of sleigh bells, here we go! Like a reindeer in the skyyyyyy! You can fly, you can fly, you can fly, you can fly, you can flyyyyyyy!"
The prisoners were amazed at what she was doing, then tried for themselves. Thinking happy thoughts, they rose into the air. [Author's note-This story is getting too Disney! Urg!] Unfortunately, being handcuffed together made it hard to enjoy this new experience. Mizzy-chan pulled them all along as she glided after the excaped FuseRocket.
"AAAAH! Too fast!" Ash wailed as he was dragged along.
They soon came to a city. Mizzy-chan watched FuseRocket rob a bank, taking notes as she went. "Mmm-hmm. Nice work destroying that window. Mmm-hmm." Not once did she attempt to stop it. An Officer Jenny ran out of the building. "Ah, now we observe the FuseRocket's natural enemy, the cloned police bimbo! Officious Jennycus comes from the evil government science. It is cloned from the cells of successful officers of the past, with cyborg enhancements, of course."
"Really?" Ash and the others had always wondered why all the Officer Jennys looked alike.
"*snort* No! Ha, I wish! Whoo! It's a good thing they're not, I wouldn't like cyborg cops. They don't let you get away with anything."
"Excuse me, floating girl, did you see that monster come through here?" The bimbo cop didn't seem bothered by the fact that Mizzy-chan was floating. "It was moving so fast I could barely see it!"
"Eeeyep, I saws it. Why? Do you have candy? I smell refined sugar."
"Um...yeah, I can give you candy if you can describe the monster in detail for me." She pulled out a sketchbook and pencil.
"Okay, it was...taller than me, I call it FuseRocket, by the way...um..."
"Hair? Eyes? Any scars or piercings?"
"It's hair was...red down the middle...blue on the sides. Eyes...I didn't check. I'm guessing one eye green, the other blue. Just a guess. It was covered in beige fur, it had earrings...um...pointy ears..."
"What gender was the monster?"
"Um...male? Female? Both. Neither. I dunno. Do I get candy now?"
"Here." She tossed a stick of gum to Mizzy-chan and hopped onto her motorcycle. She rode away after the FuseRocket.
Mizzy-chan also followed, with her prisoners close behind. Making loud, disgusting smacking noises with her new bubble gum, she flew along, sometimes dangerously close to the ground. They soon passed Officer Jenny and caught up with FuseRocket, who was robbing a bank. Again. "Despite having the combined brainpower of Jesse, James, and Meowth, FuseRocket is still exceptionally unintelligent, never changing it's already-failing strategies." She scribbled in her notebook.
I sat under a tree in the above-ground training meadows, watching Mizara and her captives through my mind. Ah, this was a fine mess she's made. Those three thirds of a whole idiot were dangerous without being tampered with, but now...well, someone very smart once told me that the only thing more dangerous than a complete idiot is an idiot who doesn't realize he's an idiot.
"Wobbuffet! What are you doing? We need you!" Pikachu popped his head out of the hole in the ground that led to our base, safe from Mizara's lunacy. We, by which I mean the Pokemon, were planning our escape from this place. I went down into the base where plans were sketched into the dirt. I looked at the revised plans.
"This looks good...but Mizara has more assistants than Trink and Sheffe, we have to consider that. Going straight through the halls all at once would work if it was only Mizara and those two, but not if we were up against ten of her mutants."
"You're sure? We haven't seen any others..."
"I'm sure. No doubt she has a seamstress and a mechanic somewhere, and guards, probably." We worked on the plans for a while until Trink came.
"Hello? Dinnertime, everyone!" All the Pokemon came out to where Trink was holding a large basket of food. She was wearing some new sort of maid's uniform. Lots of ruffles.
"That's a lovely dress, Miss Trink."
"Thanks...Jilly Jilly made it. I don't think you've met her. She sews all our clothes."
"And what is she?"
"Jigglypuff. Mutated." She smiled her ditzy, well-meaning smile.
I knew it. There were more mutants here that we hadn't seen. I only hoped that they wouldn't become our enemies.
Whoo! FuseRocket was robbing banks left and right! "Mizzy, we should stop it!" Misty shook my shoulder, trying to emphasize her complaint.
"You do not call me Mizzy. My name is Mizzy-chan and you will call me that or else." I floated up above the bank FuseRocket was currently robbing. I pulled a microphone from hammerspace (if you don't know what that is...go ask someone). "Ladies, gentleman, and other stuff! The Mizzy-chan Channel presents...Operation Capture-FuseRocket-So-Misty-Will-Shut-Up! Whoo!"
"What? You?!" FuseRocket looked up at Mizzy-chan.
"I am your master and you cannot forget that!" FuseRocket glared at me. I figure it doesn't like being my prisoner...but it's Team Rocket's fault for falling into my soup. " Come on, if I don't fix this, I have a feeling Misty won't shut up for a long, long time."
"AAAAAAH! Okay, okay, I'll come quietly!" I knew that would stop it. Nobody wants to listen to Misty complain. She's a whiny little bimbo. I handcuffed FuseRocket and took everyone back to the lair.
When we got back I dragged everyone back to the lab. "Before I change you back, I'm getting some DNA for future use." I pulled out a few hairs from FuseRocket's head and handed them to Trink, who went off...somewhere. There are many parts of the lab you don't know about, one of them being the big DNA fridge. "Into the machine with ye, foul beast!"
"Gyaaar! NOOOOOO!" I separated the FuseRocket into it's original three-people form. Jesse, James, and Meowth fell out of the machine.
The wench immediately started shaking me and yelling. "CHANGE US BACK! The evil power...why'd you take it away?!"
"That...was too weird." Meowth just sort of sat there.
James was shivering. "That was creepy, I don't ever wanna be mutated again!" He whined for a while.
"Well, I learned something today." I said with a grin. "Never let squirrels eat chocolate. Also, doorknobs should not be trusted with power tools. Yep. Doorknobs."
"Mizzy-chan, thou art not doing your job, you aren't!" The author, Mega Rose, descended from the sky on her flying Valkrie chariot, pulled by radioactive Space Ponyta. I don't know how she did that, considering that we're underground. "Remember how last time I yelled at you, I said that this story was supposed to have a plot? Well, you're overdoing the plot. We need more insanity!"
"Why? I don't feel insane at the moment." Mizzy-chan then spontaneously combusted 'cause I'm the author and I say so. "Gah! Okay, okay, lemme think...SMOOK SMOOK! I am Demon Queen FISHY!!! Bow down before my Oddish! Feel the evil! MWAHAHAHA! ...How's that?"
"That will do...for now."
And so I end this tale for I am out of ideas. Mizzy-chan continues her filthy evil, ignorant to the fact that Wobbuffet is planning something...and that he knows more about her than she does. By the way, FuseRocket came to me in a very funky dream. Originally there was a giant Moltres egg involved...but I'll toss that into some other story. My dreams are usually very blurry so I'm not sure what a Moltres egg had to do with anything, anyway. Tune in next time for more Mizzy-chan's Happy Horrible Mutant Machine! Review this fanfic and send me your opinions: GameGirlColor@hotmail.com!