This is a look into my mind. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I put my right hand up to the wall between us and she did the same. The position of her thumb confirmed my thoughts. That was indeed her right hand. This was not a mirror. The wall rippled when touched. I poked it. Bloop Heh. That was cool. Bloop. Bloop bloop bloopity bloop.

She wore my glasses on her nose. My hair flowed out of her head, waving in a wind that wasn't there. She smiled with my non-white, not-so-perfect teeth. And then she vanished. She faded away without a sound. "Hmmm..." Bloop I just love doing that.

Since the barrier before me was apparently some sort of bloopy liquid, I tried to stick my head in. I walked in and came out the other side just fine. Hmmm...no, wait, the floor had disappeared.

Smoosh! I fell onto cold hard pillows. Wait...pillows? What the spoot? "Where am I?!"

"You are here." Someone poked my head from behind. I turned around quickly and found Megami Sasaki-Kojiro behind me.

"What're you doing here? I never got around to writing your fanfic. Go back to your cage."

"You have a Grimer on your head."

"No, I don't." I think I would recognize the smell of a Grimer sitting on my head. It would be stanky and there was no stink around me.

"Yes, you do."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"Prove it."

"Look up." I did, and found a big, gloopy Grimer oozing on my hair. Only now did the air start to stink.

"Oh, well that's just great! I need to bathe now! ...Come to think of it, I was supposed to take a shower three days ago...but I never got around to it."

"You don't need a shower."

"Don't be stupid." I tilted my head and let the Grimer slide off. "I am stanky. I smell."

"There are more important tasks ahead of you."

I sighed. "Lemme guess. You want me to write your story now."

"Well, yes...but you also must meet the Demon Queen and use her power to return home."

"Can't I go through the bloopy wall? Or bathe first? Or something?

"No! No bath! Go!"

"Go where? And who let you out of your cage, anyway?

"Follow the Emerald Road to Yellow Brick City!"

"Eeeh, I think you're a bit mixed up. And don't rip off of The Wizard of Oz. Those munchkins bug me."

"Look, just go that way! Meet the Demon Queen! Do stuff!"

"Can I have a bath first?

"No!"

"...Something's wrong with you. This is not how you are in my fanfic."

"But you didn't--"

"Silence, smook! Or should I say...Mizzy-chan!!!"

"Shock! Awe! Ooooooh sounds! You caught me!" Megami pulled her skin off starting around the eyeballs and worked her way down to the feet, revealing the gushing blood vessels and muscle underneath. And then the whole thing tipped over. In reality (?) it was Mizzy-chan behind a cardboard cutout.

"Okay, I'm going to try not to think about what just happened. Now why are you doing this?"

"I'm insane, remember? I need no reason. Now, go and meet the Demon Queen. Go that way." She pointed off to the west. "I shall accompany you."

"Why?"

"Why? Ohhhhh...sometimes I while away the hours, kill things with superpowers, inflicting major pain (doo doo doo doodoodoodoo doo!), and my head, I'd be scratchin' as lice eggs were busy hatchin', just because I am insane!"

Hmmm, okay, so I'm trapped in a world where the ground is made of pillows, and my head smells like a Grimer. My only companion is Mizzy-chan, who is as unreliable as a seasick weasel on a roller coaster. Right. I guess my only choice is to go along with all of this. "Okay, I'll bite. Let's go."

"Right! Come! We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz---"

"So we're in Oz?"

"Of course not, Oz doesn't exist. This is the land of Weird Schmoo."

Soon we came upon a large roadblock. It was...here's a hint: they block roads all the time in Pokemon games. Yeah, a Snorlax. "Hey, cool! I've always wanted to see one of these!" I climbed on top of the sleeping lump of Pokemon and started jumping. "Whoo-hoo! It's bouncy!"

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Get off of there! Hey! Hey! Do you invoke my wrath?! Hey! Hey! Hey!" I slid off of the Snorlax. "Victory for ZIM!!!"

I looked at the creature who stood before me. "You're not Invader ZIM, you're...Kemmy!" I hugged Kemushi, my Beautifly. "How'd you get here?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I can be anywhere, considering that I don't exist."

"Are the others here?"

"No...just me."

"Well, come with us, we're going to see the Demon Queen who's supposed to help me get home."

"Okay...but what's that smell?"

"Uh...a Grimer was on my head not too long ago. Sorry."

"That's okay. Hey, are you hungry? I saw a picnic table full of food and nobody around." We followed her to a table practically dripping with vittles!

"Whoo-hoo! Let's eat!"

"Pi! Pikachu! Pika ka kaaaaa!"

"What wazzat?"

"Oh, that's just the lawn gnomes. They do this all the time, you know. Yep. Lawn gnomes." After this statement we both stared at Mizzy-chan for about half an hour.

I looked for the source of the sound. I opened a teapot and a Pikachu jumped out! "Change places!!!" Someone yelled, and suddenly Woopers ran out of the surrounding bushes and onto the seats of the picnic table.

"Woopa woopa woo bababa woo! Happy Unbirthday!" A cute likkle Wooper (They so cuuuute!) jumped onto the table and used it's cute likkle tail to spread butter onto a pocketwatch.

"Okay, so we've gone from The Wizard of Oz to Alice in Wonderland. Everybody look out for ticking crocodiles and walking brooms." To make sense of this statement I shall explain that Mizzy-chan's previous rantings parodied The Wizard of Oz, and that this table, the 'happy unbirthday,' and the buttered clock are an imitation of the tea party of Alice in Wonderland. I expect that Peter Pan (crocodile swallowed a clock) or Fantasia (Brooms! Everywhere! Eeeurg!) or something of the like will be poked at next.

SMASH! I heard a giant footstep in the distance. A giant monkey approached! "Uh, Mizzy-chan? Is it a full moon tonight?"

"Why yes, how did you know? ...Oh. Should we cut off it's tail?"

"Nah, let it have fun." If you don't understand what's going on...Dragonball Dragonball Dragony Dragonball!

"Well, it's coming this way!"

"Aaaah! Save the Wooper! Come on!" I started scooping up Wooper.

"Wooba? Wooba? Wooba?" Oh, they're so CUTE! Must save them!

"Should I take the Pikachu out of the teapot or just carry the whole thing?" Kemmy asked me.

"Who gives a schmoo about Pikachu? Save the Wooper! Ooooh, don't you worry, you adorable slimy little things. I'll save you!"

We carried away the Wooper just in time, for the monkeyman stomped right on the table. Such a waste of food. We ran down the road which was NOT made of yellow bricks, to safety.

"Woopa woopa woo bababa woopa!"

"Woopa woopa!"

"Woopa woopa woo bababa woooooobaaaaa!" I sang along with the fifteen waddling Wooper who marched along behind me. They are so cute I could kick myself! Meanwhile, Kemushi and Mizzy-chan were in a heated debate over the roles of cereal mascots.

"No, no, Tony has no part in the making of the Frosted Flakes. He just endorses them. You know, he goes around to Elementary Schools to tell kids about all the vitamins and minerals they get at breakfast. He's a good guy, but there's no real connection between him and the Frosted Flakes themselves. On the other hand, Lucky invented Lucky Charms in his little cottage in the woods. But then some stupid kids came along and found them and stole the recipe. He changed the recipe and made it better before giving it to General Mills. But those kids, they want to steal the new recipe because they're addicted to marshmallows now. Stupid kids."

"Yeah, that's just like the Trix Rabbit! He invented Trix and gave the recipe to General Mills, and he got to be the mascot! But after a while they stopped paying him and he was like a slave. So now, he's all depressed, and wants to take back all the Trix in the world until they give him the money he deserved. But they have the Trix to the little kids and they won't give it back. I say that hiring a mascot is wrong. They always wind up being abused."

"No, not all mascots get bad deals. Snap, Crackle, and Pop get millions of dollars per concert! They got like, a trillion for that photo shoot!"

"Don't you see? The power and fame have warped their minds! Snap, Crackle, and Pop used to be part of the Keebler Elf clan, working in the bakery in that hollow tree. But they wanted to make healthy food, not cookies. They wanted to make the world a better, healthier place so they created Rice Krispies. Kelloggs bought it and gave them money and fame and junk! Soon they forgot their original intent and created Rice Krispies Treats as a way to gain even more money! But that stuff's like, dunked in sugar! And Cocoa Rice Krispies! They're corrupted, I tells ye!"

"Oh, there's worse. You know Toucan Sam? He lives out in the jungle and hoards the Froot Loops by hanging them on trees! Those nephews of his? They're CLONES! He's got a whole basement full of 'em! They go around the world and do his bidding! TOUCAN SAM IS EVIL!!!"

"Yeah, I've got to admit they don't get much worse than Toucan Sam. But you know what's funny? The Cocoa Puffs mascot, that Cuckoo named Sonny? He's not really their mascot. They say he escaped from his cell in the mental institution. He really liked Cocoa Puffs and would go around yelling that he's 'Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!' And he'd give Cocoa Puffs to random children on the street and stuff. So whenever General Mills needs a new commercial they just film the guy."

Fascinating as this conversation is, I prefered to sing the Wooper song. "Wooba wooba woo bababa woopa wooba woopaaaaaaaaa! Wooba baba wooooooo!" I scooped up a random Wooper and hugged it.

"Woopa!" It smiled and wiggled. It was so moist and cute!

Kemushi held the Pikachu in it's teapot. I told her to let it squish, but nooo! What was she thinking? Does she thing Pikachu is cuter than Wooper? Blasphemy! "Oooooh, little Wooper! You are all so cute!"

"Pichu!" A Pichu came out of the bushes nearby. "Pichu picha!" Oh, why do cute things pop out of bushes so much in this world?! I am not the type of demon to gush over cute things! I think Sanrio is evil! Whyyyy?! "Pichaaa?"

"EEEARGH!" I ran some distance away from the group. I took a deep breath and tried to accept what I was about to do. Something I had never done before and never hope to do again. I walked calmly back to the Wooper and Pichu. "....EEEE! KAWAII!" I hugged whatever creatures were in range (including Mizzy-chan's leg...). I was making squealy noises. I could practically feel the cutesy-wootsey sparkles. It sickens me. Urg.

At that moment a Meowth and a Vulpix appeared. I think I passed out.

"Wooba wooba?"

"Pichu picha! Piiiiii?"

"Vuuuulpix!"

"Meow meow meowth?"

"Huh? Where am I?"

"You passed out." Mizzy-chan loomed over me holding salad tongs and a box labeled 'Megan's Organs.' "It's too bad you didn't die."

"Oh, shut up." I got up. "Look, some of these cutinoids have to leave. To many cutes equals brain overload."

"Whoo-hoo! Dinner!"

"THOU SHALT NOT EAT THE POKEMON!!! We're just leaving some behind, that's all. Okay, I wanna keep this Wooper here. This one likes me." I picked up the cutest, slimiest, woopiest Wooper. It nuzzled me with it's head.

"Well, I'm not letting go of Teapot Pikachu." Kemmy held the teapot tightly. "Not till I can get him out of there, anyway. I like this teapot."

"Fine, whatever. Mizzy-chan?"

"Can't I just eat the little sick ones?"

"I dunno. Can you survive several blows to the head while being set on fire?"

"Why yes, yes I can. Wanna see?"

"No, no, that's okay. But you can't eat the Pokemon! Hey! What're you doing with that knife?! Bad girl! No! Get away from him!"

And so, after punishing Mizzy-chan with my all-powerful Punishment HAMMER, we went off with the cutest Wooper who I have dubbed 'Woobles' and Teapot Pikachu. The other cutinoids waved goodbye. I think they understood my low cuteness tolerance. "Woopa woopa woo bababa woo! Happy Unbirthday!"

Soon, after a very long journey, we came to a large castle. "This is the Castle of Lady Demona. The Demon Queen lives here." Mizzy-chan told us this as she tried to stick a fork in Woobles.

"GET AWAY FROM MY WOOBLE-BABY, YOU SMOOK! ...Oh, don't you worry, Woobly-Headed Bob, I won't let her hurt you."

"You've got the WRONG LEPERCHAUN!!!" Mizzy-chan ran away.

"C'mon, Megan, let's go! Let's find a way home!" Kemmy pushed me forward a bit. I smiled at her and we ran.

We entered the big dark castle and found that the entire thing was one large room. In the center, suspended in the air, a girl slept. A catlike creature sat below her. "Welcome to the Castle of Lady Demona."

I took a good look at the sleeping girl. Her hair was long and dark brown. She wore glasses. Her face was...mine! "Hey, what's going on here?! That's me!"

"Nonsense." The cat-thing smiled. "If the Demon Queen is Megan, then who are you?"

"How did you know my name? And what's going on here?! I demand answers! And a bathtub! My head smells like Grimer schmoo!"

"Oh, you're just cranky 'cause you can't log out."

"Log...out...? What the spoot?! Don't you rip off of .hack//sign!!!"

"Ooh, wah ooh wah oooooh! Ooh, wah ooh wah oooooh! Ooh, wah ooh wah ooooooh, wah ooh wah ooooooh, wah ooh wah ooooooooh!"

"Now what?! Look, quit stalling! Smook-head! Wake other-me up!"

"No, it's not time!"

I decided not to listen to cat-thing. I started poking other-me with a stick. "Get up, smook! Wakey wakey!"

"SHUT UP! LEMME SLEEP!!!" And then the world went black.

I woke up in my bed. "Hmmm, so that was a dream and the other-me was a 'wind fish...' okay, I can accept that.