Title: Diary by: Melodi AAMRN Description: Misty finds out that Ash isn't exactly who he reveals himself to be when she takes a sneak peek inside his secret diary. *~I saw a letter lying on the floor, I couldn't help but look inside~* The black mass, evenly lined out, formed itself onto the white, striped surface. *~Thought it was something that you must have left... Left there for me to find~* His gentle fingers lightly pressed against the tool and went into a design-like pattern. *~All your words were on that page, All my dreams came true that day I found~* Ash Ketchum wrote the first word in the 50th entry in his diary. *~Your letter, Your letter... It said you loved me but you didn't know the words to say, It said you never knew that you could ever feel this way, It said you only wished someday that I would feel the same, In your letter, Your letter. Oh, oh!~* A light knock was heard. "Come in," Ash said, making sure he rushed to put away the diary. *~I guess it just never occured to me, That you would feel the way I did.~* It was Misty. "Ash? What were you doing?" "Why?" he asked. "Your mom told me to come check on you. You're kind of quiet today." "I'm all right." "Ok...well, dinner's ready." *~You've kept the sweetest secret from my heart, You kept those feelings hid... Girl, you never showed a sign, Gave a clue to what I find inside~* "I'll be down in a minute." *~Your letter, Your letter... It said you loved me but you didn't know the words to say! It said you never knew that you could ever feel this way! It said you only wished someday that I would feel the same, In your letter, Your letter...~* "What were you doing?" she repeated. "Just something. Go ahead, I'll be down in a sec." "Okay," she said uneasily, walking out the door. Ash took his diary back out and started writing in it again. When he finished, he ran downstairs. By then, Ash's mother, Delia, was washing dishes. "What happened to the food?" Ash wondered. "You took too long. Remember when you left the window open? Well, we were through eating when about two wasps came in and flew in your food. We knew you were going to find out, and we couldn't make you eat that. So we dumped it out," Misty said. "Can't you cook anymore?" Ash asked. "Honey, I'm tired. And all of the food that I cooked today is gone. Your friends were pretty hungry," Delia said. "Can't you try?" Ash begged. "Ash, I just want to lay down! Why don't you cook?" Delia asked. "Why? Do you feel sick or something?" Ash asked. "Ash! I said I'm tired! Give it a rest, it's not like it's a famine or anything!" Delia shouted, now getting angry. "I don't think I like where this is going," Brock whispered to Misty. Misty nodded. "Mom, you weren't like this before!" "That's because I'm tired of everything I've done before!" "Were you tired of Dad? Is that why you kicked him out and had him killed--" Ash was cut off by a slap so hard that it knocked the wind out of him and he fell over. As soon as he got back up, Delia punched him, but this time, he only stumbled a little. Misty and Brock cringed. 'I felt that,' they both thought. "Mom--what are you--" Ash was cut off again when Delia picked up her glass flower vase and threw it at Ash, which cut him several places on his body as it shattered. "Mrs. Ketchum, don't you think that's enough?" Misty asked, getting worried. Delia didn't seem to hear Misty. She kept hitting Ash until finally, Ash took her hands and held them securely. "Mom, I'm sorry, okay??" he said, breathing heavily. "Ash, I've done more things for you than a queen would for her son, and all I get is 'Why not this' and 'Why that' and 'I want this too'! What happens to respect? Don't you appreciate me? All I want is a little thanks, Ash, that's all I ever wanted!" Delia said, crying as she snatched her fists loose, continuing to throw heavy things at him. "Brock--call the police, quick," Misty whispered. "Right," he whispered back as he rushed to the phone. Ash was desperately trying to defend himself, while simultaneously trying not to hurt his mother. But he couldn't do that--so he had to take the pain. The last thing she did before she realized what she was doing, was burn his back repeatedly with the hot face of the clothes iron. That was when Delia was held back by two cops. She breathed heavily, then opened her eyes. She opened her eyes and saw how she had hidden her heart and care to let out the anger... On her very own son. "Oh my God...what did I just do," she whispered to herself, eyes opened wide. Tears rushed out of her eyes when she looked deep into the eyes of her only child, Ash. He was burned, bruised, scarred, cut--just deadly injured. There was an ambulance Brock knew he had to call for too, and so they were right there. Ash fell unconscious just when they were putting him onto the stretcher. His last words were quiet and hoarse, but still, only Delia still heard and understood them: "Mom...why?..." *~*~*~*~*~*~* "Ash? Ash, wake up. Please wake up, Ash!" Misty pleaded, shaking Ash lightly. Ash's eyes fluttered, then opened. "You're okay," she gasped, smiling. "Of course," he said, his voice still dangerously hoarse. "It's not like I'm all that hurt. My Mom would never even think of causing--" "That 2-inch cut in your side?" Misty finished for him. "Yeah. She would never--" Ash stopped, realizing what she said. He looked under the blanket, then looked back out with a blank expression. Shock. "Ash, she didn't mean to. The police told me that she did something like this to you before... Before we met, far as I know," Misty said concernfully. "Ash-- how come you never told?" "It's not something you want to tell everybody," Ash said, sighing. "No--I mean the police! They said that Delia only admitted that she did this to you before--your response is the only proof!" "It doesn't matter. Look, if she really wanted to hurt me, she'd kill me, okay? But for now, she's my Mom, and I don't care about anything other than her being all right." "After all she's done for you? You still love her?" "I've always loved my Mom, Misty. You don't hate a Mom just because of mistakes." "That didn't seem like a mistake if it happened twice." But Ash's next comment surprised her. "I can understand why she did this to me--you have always made me feel just as upset, and disappointed." "What??" "You've never said thanks to me, either. You're also a person who always wants more of the things you don't even need, and pressed your luck but always thinks that I can take the pain that you're supposed to be feeling, just because I'm a guy, and you girls think that guys don't feel pain, but I can tell you now, Misty--we do," he said. "Ash, I never said you didn't! And I'm sorry that I haven't ever said thanks to you. But you know that deep inside, I am thanking you!" "No," Ash said, shaking his head slowly, "I *don't* know that. Because the knowledge you give me about you is everything on the opposite of faith, trust, comprehension, and especially greatfulness." "Ash, that is not true! There's a really personal reason for me being the way I am, you know!" "Oh yeah? Well, if you can admit that, then why can't you change??" Ash shouted. Misty noticed that his pulse on the radar was growing harder, but she payed no care. She was focused on the argument. "Why haven't YOU ever changed? It's not like you're any better than me!" "I don't HAVE to be better than you! I JUST HAVE TO BE WORTH SOMETHING!" "ASH KETCHUM, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D STOOP THAT LOW! ALL THE YEARS I'VE FOLLOWED YOU, I KNEW YOU WERE NOTHING BUT A WHINY LITTLE PEST!" "WHY YOU'RE CALLING ME A LOW-STOOPER, STOP CALLING ME EVERYTHING YOU ARE!" "ASH, SHUT UP BEFORE I DROP YOU JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER DID!" "DON'T TALK ABOUT ME OR MY MOTHER! YOU'RE REALLY TRYING TO PUSH...to push...to...t-to...oh..." Misty gasped, her anger turning into guilt and worry. Ash's pulse had raised a little too high, and he was a little too excited. Misty had forgotten all about the doctor warning her about that! Now what? Ash dropped all the way back onto the bed as if his whole body was paralyzed. He started shaking as if he were having a seizure. He squinched his eyes. He was in some sort of pain. "...Ash?" Misty asked quietly. Then, Misty could tell he had a huge migraine, because he clenched his head with his hands. And Misty looked over and saw that... Ash's pulse was getting higher by the second. Higher. 195/94. Hypertension state. Higher. 200/100. Heart attack state. Higher... And it dropped. Ash's hands fell to his side, and he exhaled one last breath... TO BE CONTINUED...