Hi again! I am SOOOOO sorry it took me soooooo long to remember to send this, but I've been working on my new site, and helping my sister Vanessa with her new site, then we had a family death, then I had writer's block, then the holidays and all these doctor appointments and OY. But, I'm back! Diary part 4: Breaking it to Brock "Ah!" Misty gasped as she tripped over something. Ash looked down. "It's a pokemon!" he said excitedly. Ash whipped out his all-too-familiar pokedex. Dexter: Caterpie: the-- "AAAAH!" Misty yelled, jumping right onto Ash's head. Ash had a feeling she was going to do that. "Ash, you KNOW what a stupid Caterpie is, because you've trained one before! Now get that bug away from me!!" Misty shouted. "All right, all right," Ash said with a sigh. "Shoo, Caterpie. Go back home and talk to your friends or something," Ash said, walking towards the Caterpie, knowing he would frighten it, so it would go away. And the Caterpie scattered. "Whew," Misty sighed, jumping off of Ash. They continued to walk in silence. Suddenly, a whole herd of Beedrils chased them. They were out of the forest in no time. "She WHAT??????????" "Almost, but he didn't really get to the ... you know ... down there," Ash said. "So he just ... took off her clothes ... and left her alone?" Brock asked. "Well, actually, that's where Ash came in," Misty said, smiling at Ash. Ash blushed. "Thanks for the meal," he said, trying to change the subject. "It's your house, Ash, it's the least I can do to pay back the respect I owe you for all you've done for me," Brock said, smiling as he washed the dishes. Ash felt something cold being secured loosely around his neck. Startled, he jumped a little, then relaxed. He looked at the necklace. It was a genuine golden heart-shaped pendant. "What's this for?" Ash asked, opening it. He saw a picture of himself on one flap, Misty on another, and Pikachu on the bottom. "That's something I was meaning to give you when I first got it on Valentine's Day, but you had a fever that day and I forgot. But this is a gift from me to thank you for what you've done for me also. Especially today," Misty said, smiling. "Your mom bought you that Playstation 2 you've always wanted too, a thanks for being helpful and caring, and a present for your victories," said Brock. "It's upstairs in your room." "Wow ... all these thank-you gifts at once ... this pendant is beautiful, the meal was really great, and I bet I'll have fun with that game ... thank you guys," Ash said, smiling widely. "You deserved it," Misty and Brock said. "PIKACHU!" Pikachu shouted, rushing downstairs and up onto Ash's lap. "Pikachu! I thought you were taking a nap?" Ash said. "CHU! Pikachu, piKA ka chu! PI!!" Pikachu hollered. "Really?" "Chu!" "Pikachu--you shouldn't joke about that!" Pikachu shook its head sadly. "Pika..." Before anyone could ask, Ash rushed upstairs to his room so fast, he almost tripped up the steps. Misty and Brock rushed upstairs and bursted in Ash's room to see what was going on, and saw Ash, silently breathing heavily, sitting on the bed, depressed. "Ash? What happened?" asked Misty concernfully. "I missed it...my only opportunity to see it was gone...everything's over ... " Ash said quietly. "What did you miss?" Brock asked. "THE LAST EPISODE OF DRAGONBALL Z!!!" Ash wailed. Brock and Misty sweatdropped and fell over. *________________*_______________**____________*******_________* Midnight... Dear Diary, I think it's about time I told them. I am not who they think I am. But then, what should I expect? Laughter, will they think I'm joking? Dull glares, will they not even care? Or the least possible: tears? The truth is even hard for me myself to bare, but I have to tell them ... but Misty ... I have a feeling she'll run ... she'll run away and hate me forever ... I don't want that ... I don't want to lose any of my friends ... and not even Pikachu knows. What should I do ... I think it is best I wait to tell them after I do become a Pokemon Master. I love my friends ... I love ... her ... *~Ash Ketchum~* Ash sighed and just closed his book, slid it under his bed and layed down. He fell asleep immediately, so much on his mind, hoping he could sort it out in his dreams. Misty peeked through the keyhole, then slowly opened the door. She tiptoed across the room, knowing that Ash slept heavy as soon as he closed his eyes, and silently pulled the book out from under the bed. She snuck quietly back to her room. (Just to let you know, the date of this fic is July 19, 2002) She went straight to the first page. Diary entry #1. November 1, 1999 Code name: Ash Ketchum Age: 10 Hello, Diary. I will be writing down all the feelings that are only possible to put in words in you, and I trust you'll keep the secrets for me safe. No one is allowed to read this, and if I catch anyone reading you, Diary, I just wouldn't know what to do ... 'Normal first entry,' she thought. Misty continued. Diary entry #2 November 8, 1999 Dear Diary, I pass it, and I come back to it, and then the cycle flows yet again. I just can't forget about my dad, Diary, I can't! It's just too painful...the memories...and it was only yesterday, too! I watched with wide eyes, he just walked right onto the track, trying to show me the magic trick...we didn't even see the train coming...now I really must fulfill my destiny, and complete the task for my sake, and for his... *~Ash Ketchum~* Misty got a little curious. What did he mean by destiny? Task? She skipped up some pages. Diary entry #31. July 15, 2001 Dear Diary, I feel so hurt. Misty called me 'a dense, worthless failure'. Doesn't she know how much I TRY to imagine myself already a winner? That's what the ego is there for. To defend myself from such feelings. Sometimes I wonder how and why I can't help but take those things to heart. I think she really means it, it can't be a slip-up...she says it all the time. Maybe I am worthless. The real me, and not the illusion I give off. Diary, I even wish sometimes that sometimes, just sometimes, she could be happy for my dream and love of pokemon. Everytime I express my gratitude towards a pokemon or am excited about winning a match, she gets sarcastic or grows an attitude. And do you know that she even had the nerve to say I didn't care for my pokemon once? I felt like SLAPPING the shit out of her, but I didn't. I held back to hold onto myself. I held on for her, because I never dreamed of hurting her...I care about her, even though she sees me as nothing but an immature kid to embarrass at every chance...but that's the image I need to give off to make sure they don't see the real me...that they don't know...who I really am... So why do I feel so...ashamed that I'm lying to her? And why just her? *~Ash Ketchum~* Misty gasped. He really was deeply offended by the things she says to him!!! And what was this talk of...illusions and images? She flipped to the last entry he put. (if you don't remember, scroll up to the part when Ash was writing it) She gasped. He loved her? And just who was he? She snuck it back into Ash's room back under his bed and snuck back into her own room, falling asleep. Little did she know, she was in for a surprise tomorrow... TO BE CONTINUED...