"Pikachu? What're you doing?" Brock asked. As he got closer, he could see that Pikachu was holding an orange-haired, swimsuit-clad Barbie doll in one paw and a Ken doll in the other.

Pikachu pretended the Barbie was speaking. "Pika! Pi pikapikapi pikachu pikapi-kapika ka!" <Hi! I'm innocent water-trainer Ash-betraying Barbie!>

He moved the Ken. "Pika, Pikapi-kachu pika chu chupi pichu chupika pikaka pika! Pika pi ka!" <I'm a jerk, Pikapi-kachu annoying womanizing despicable Satanist demon! Let's go out!>

In the old Pikachu legends, Pikapi-kachu was a thief, criminal, and general devil who hurt people and Pokemon all over the world, shaming every Pikachu tribe then in existence. In the end, all of the Pikachu tribes banded together to defeat him. In remembrance of that legend, Pikachus called traitors, criminals, and anyone else they just happened to hate "Pikapi-kachu".

"Hey, Pikachu!"

Pikachu jumped. <I wasn't doing anything, I swear!>

"Give me back my Barbies!!" Brock snatched them away quickly, stuffing them back into his backpack. "So, you don't like Darien much, do you?"

<Do YOU?> Pikachu said carefully.

"Well... I probably shouldn't be saying this, but no, I hate the jerk!"

Pikachu grinned. <YESSS! Finally!!>

Misty waltzed into the room, humming happily. Pikachu groaned and buried his face in a pillow.

"Date with Darien?" Brock said blandly.

"Oh, yes!! And I think he's going to do something special tonight!!" Misty beamed.

<Like not be a jerk?> Pikachu said sarcastically through the pillow.

"Like what?" Brock asked.

"Well, he's taking me to the most expensive restaurant in town!"

<It must be because you've already been to all the OTHER nice places. The guy must be a stinkin' millionaire...>

"I think... I think he might propose!!"

"KAPI-KAKA!" <Oh God!!>

Brock just stared. Finally, he managed to say, "Oh...Really?"

Misty smiled enigmatically and waltzed out the door.

Pikachu lifted his head out of the pillow and looked at Brock. "Kapi pikachu pika." <We have to do something about this.>

"Yeah, but what?..." Brock said.

<Well, we have to make this the least romantic setting possible,> Pikachu said.

An evil grin spread over Brock's face. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Ka pi ka, pika kachupi?" <It depends, what are you thinking?>

"Okay, here's my plan..." Brock leaned down to Pikachu's level and whispered.

"Hey, what are you two planning?"

Brock and Pikachu jumped. "Ah! Oh hi Joy! Why'd you sneak up on us like that?!" Brock sweatdropped.

"Just trying to see what you two are up to..." Joy said. She started to walk away, then turned, smiling. "Oh, by the way, if you two are planning to break up Misty's date tonight, I'm on the late shift, but I can give you supplies."

"How did you know?" Brock asked.

"I didn't. Woman's intuition." Joy smiled.

Brock sighed. "Okay, Joy, here's what we'll need..."

~*~

There was a bolt of static on Pikachu's walkie-talkie. "ApronMaster to ElectricMouse, can you hear me, over."

"Pika-kacha pipika, pikachu pika." <ElectricMouse to ApronMaster, I copy, Over.>

"ApronMaster to Electric Mouse... WHY DID YOU GIVE ME SUCH A STUPID CODE NAME, OVER?!!!!!!"

"Pi, pi pika-kacha pikapikachu?!!" <Hey, you think ElectricMouse isn't a bad name?!!>

"Look, let's just give this military junk up, okay?" Brock sighed.

"Pika." <Agreed.>

"Has the subject come within range of your coordinates?"

"PIKA PIKAPIKACHU!!!" <YOU SAID WE WERE GIVING UP THE MILITARY JUNK!!>

"I just meant "over" and the code names, but fine!!" Brock fumed for a second. "Have you seen Misty yet!"

"Pika." <No.>

"Okay. Is plan 1A in motion yet?"

"Pikapikapikachupika?!" <What do you THINK I've been doing?!>

"Okay, okay!" Brock said, rolling his eyes.

Pikachu kept his eyes on the parking lot. A purple car leaving, a green car coming in, two minivans leaving (Pikachu had seen that. They were planning to have their family reunion there, but left in disgust when they saw the prices--and the Ricky Martin wall in the greeting room), and--

"Pika! Pikapikachu pika!" <Brock! Ugly blue convertible coming in!>

Brock had commented once on the ugly shade of blue on Darien's car. "Do you have positive confirmation?"

Pikachu squinted for a minute. "Pika! Pika Pikapi-kachu pi Chukapi-pika pikakachu!" <Yes! Pikapi-kachu and Mistaken Misty have been sighted!>

"Geeze, and I thought _I_ had a stupid code name..." Brock rolled his eyes, then quickly said, "But it's very apt and clever! I admire you for coming up with it!!"

"Pikakachu," Pikachu said affectionately. <Butt-kisser.>

"HEY!"

"Pika, pika ka cha!" <Shut up, someone'll hear you!>

"Okay, okay already!!"

"Pikapikachu!!" <They're coming in!!> He watched in disgust as Darien opened Misty's door for her. "Pikapi-kachu."

More static from the walkie-talkie. "I'm in the kitchen! Plan 1B going into motion!!"

"Pika." <Ok.>

Pikachu watched in silent anticipation and disgust as Darien and Misty walked arm-in-arm to the restaurant door. "Pikakachu pika pi pi...ka...chu..." <Plan 1A in motion in three...two...one...>

The happy couple stepped onto the doorstep...and onto many, many tacks.

"OOOOOWWW!!"

"So, I take it Plan 1A worked?" Brock said into the walkie-talkie.

"Pika! Pika pi ka chu pikapika pikachu!!" <Yes! I don't know how it worked, so go on with 1B!>

"I copy." Brock stepped out of his hiding place and intercepted the waitress who was returning to the reception area. "Hello, gorgeous, how's it going tonight?"

The waitress blinked. "What the--"

"For such a pretty young lady, I don't see how anything could go wrong," Brock said, at his most suave.

The waitress blushed slightly. "Well, thank you, but I have so many customers--"

"Well, I'm sure they'll be sad to be deprived of such a gorgeous young woman's company, but there are other waitresses, aren't there?"

"Well..."

Meanwhile, Pikachu watched the annoyed couple pick the tacks out of their shoes.

"Who the heck did this?!" Misty fumed.

"Don't worry, Misty. Nothing could ever spoil an evening with you for me." Darien smiled and Misty went into a valley-girl ditziness.

"Pika." <Ew.> He quickly followed as they stepped through the door.

"Hmmm, that's strange. Nobody's at the desk," Darien said.

Pikachu, hiding behind a potted tree, grinned like crazy. What did you know, it was actually working! He never thought Brock could actually hold a girl's attention for more than five seconds, but he was performing admirably tonight.

Five minutes passed by and Pikachu's eyes bugged out. ~What are they DOING?~ Darien started to tap his foot impatiently.

Finally, six minutes after plan 1B started, an angry-looking waitress came to the desk. "Welcome to Tajari's authentic Japanese cuisine!!! How may I help you!"

"Pichapi, pika pikachupika?" <Brock, how'd it go?> Pikachu whispered into the walkie-talkie.

"Man, that girl is more desperate than _I_ am--no, was!!" Brock said.

"Pika pikaka chupika chaaaaa?" <Hard to forget those Joy-chasing days, huh?>

"Yeah, I still can't believe she's going out with me..." There was a pause.

"Pichapi, pikachu!!!" <Brock, snap out of it!!!>

"Wha? Oh yeah." Brock laughed nervously. "I eventually had to flat-out reject her just to get her away from me! And then, she walloped me with her mallet. Good thing I'm used to it."

"Pi, pika pikachu, pikapikachu..." <Wow, someone more desperate than you, I didn't think that was possible...>

"Oh, shut up."

Pikachu snapped to attention. "Pikapi-kachu-pika pika kapi kachu." <Pikapi-kachu-and co are moving out.>

"Okay. I'm moving to the kitchen. Call me with the information for Plan 2A when you get it."

"Pika." <Okay.> Pikachu carefully noted where Misty and Darien were sitting, and snuck just close enough to listen in.

"Pika pi pikapikachu, pi pika pi ka chu." <The waitress has a high voice, they're ordering two iced teas and champagne.> Pikachu wrinkled his nose. "Pikachu chu!" <They're too young for that!!>

"Misty had her 21st birthday yesterday," Brock reminded him. Pikachu just grumbled, remembering the pearl necklace he had "just happened to see, and they made me think of you."

"Two teas and a '64 Sylvania!" a high-pitched voice called.

~That has to be it.~ The cook set the teas out on the counter and went down to the wine cellar. Quickly and carefully, Brock took out a special concoction they had prepared earlier and poured some into each glass. He quickly ducked back to his hiding place just as another cook turned to put a plate of sushi for a waitress to get.

"Got it," he whispered into the walkie-talkie.

Pikachu giggled. Alka-Seltzer, grape cough syrup, Tropical Punch Kool-Aid, and two Rare Candies mixed together wouldn't kill anyone, but it would give them a nasty surprise. At least, he hoped it wouldn't kill anyone. They'd tested it on Psyduck, and he wasn't dead yet. Of course, Psyduck was Psyduck... He shook himself out of his thoughts and watched as the waitress placed two iced teas and a bottle of champagne on the table.

The tropical punch Kool-Aid had been added just for the heck of it, but it did provide a little tang. Also, it took the edge off of it. Brock didn't think that was good, but Pikachu insisted. Those Rare Candies tasted like grass.

"A toast to us!" Darien said, holding out his glass of tea.

Misty giggled and clinked his glass. They both drank deeply.

"Erk!" They spat it out all over each other. "God, what IS this?!!" Misty said.

"I don't know." He looked down at himself. "We'd better go get cleaned up."

"Yes," Misty said. They both left the table.

Pikachu saw the golden opportunity they had dreamed of. "Pichapi! Pikapikchu!!! Pika pi!!" <Brock! They left the table!!! I'm going in!!>

Pikachu quickly scampered up onto the table, and making sure no one was watching, he unscrewed the lids of the salt and pepper shakers, poured tainted tea into the sauces, and stole the ketchup. He didn't know if it would work, but he shook the champagne bottle too.

He got safely back to his hiding place as Misty and Darien came back.

"Pika pika-chu!!" <Mission accomplished!!>

"Wow, great, Pikachu!!" Brock said. "You deserve a reward!!"

"Pi pika pi-chu." <I already have one.> He grinned and started sucking ketchup out of his bottle.

Brock laughed, hearing the slurping and guessing correctly. "I should have known. Call me when they order."

Pikachu and Brock waited, biding their time, thinking of their next devious schemes.

~*~

"Dragonair, go!"

There was a red flash of light, and the mythical, graceful Pokemon appeared...balancing perilously on its head.

<Gaaaah!> it yelled as it tumbled head-over-heels into the pool.

<You never will learn, will you Ash?> An amused Diglett peered over the edge of the pool.

Ash dove down slightly; he then leapt out of the water, soaring gracefully in the air for a moment, and made a perfect landing behind the Diglett.

<No, never, Sandstone.> Ash would've grinned if he hadn't been a Dragonair.

<Ha ha. Anyway, I have something for you.> Sandstone burrowed into the ground.

<What?> Ash asked. Sandstone popped up in front of him, a slightly dirty cookie balanced on his head.

<Happy Anniversary, Ash!> he said brightly. <Of course, being here for a year isn't much to celebrate, but it's not much of a celebration either.>

<Thanks, Sandstone,> Ash said. <Where did you get it?>

<One of the Rockets-in-training just LOVES ground Pokemon,> Diglett said smugly. <I also managed to get an Everstone from her once.>

Ash laughed, surprised. <So THAT'S why you haven't evolved!>

<Yeah, it really ticks Giovanni off. I think he's getting over it, though.> He tossed the cookie over to Ash. <Hey, I bet you could find a Dragon-loving scientist really easy! A LOT of them!! Heck, you might even be able to get out!>

<I don't know about THAT...>

"Okay, training schedules!" Giovanni barked. "Machokes 1, 2, 3, you will--"

The lights went out.

<What the--> Ash and Sandstone said in unison.

"Prepare for Trouble!"

"Make it Double!"

<Oh, man, no WAY!> Ash said.

"To Protect the World from Devastation!"

<What?>

"To Free All Peoples Within Our Nation!"

<Those are the nutjobs who got me INTO this place!> Ash yelled.

"To Show the Value of Truth and Love!"

"To See the Light of the Stars Above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

The two Rocket members leapt to the middle of the floor.

"Team Rocket can Blast Off at the Speed of Light!" Jessie yelled defiantly.

"We won't surrender, prepare to Fight!" James said, determined.

"Meowth! That's Right!" Meowth landed on their heads.

"What in the world are you two imbeciles doing?!" Giovanni yelled.

"Well, we couldn't compromise our STYLE!" Jessie said.

"Resignation is so degrading," James continued.

"So we thought we'd tell ya dis way..." Meowth said.

"WE QUIT!" they chorused.

<Wow, Team Rocket has a brain after all!> Ash said.

"So, we'll just be leavin' now..." Meowth said as they walked towards the door.

<Spoke too soon.> Ash sighed.

Giovanni laughed. "You think you can just quit Team Rocket anytime you want?"

"Well, um, yes--" James said.

"There is only one way out of Team Rocket!" Giovanni yelled.

<Five bucks says he'll say "And that's in a coffin",> Sandstone whispered.

<You're on.>

"And that's in a coffin!!"

<Darn!> Ash sighed. <So, HOW much do I owe you now?>

<Oh, three million dollars, give or take...>

<Right.>

"Wha-what?" Meowth said.

"Persian, teach these fools a lesson!" Giovanni yelled.

"Perrr!"

The trio backed up a little in fear.

"Well," Meowth said weakly, "I always WANTED ta get that Persian..."

"Meowth..."

"Persian, Fury Swipes!"

Meowth had no time to dodge and was hit hard. He quickly countered by leaping on Persian and scratching like mad.

"Yes! Go, Meowth!" Jessie cheered.

Persian lifted a paw and smacked Meowth across the room.

"Oh wow, that HAD to HURT," James said.

<Hey, lookit Sherlock Holmes!> one of the Machops yelled, laughing.

Sandstone sighed. <These Pokemon are the MASTERS of snide commentary.>

<Hey, no wonder old Gio-boss likes 'em so much,> Ash mused. <I'll bet Gary has twelve of 'em. Except knowing him, they'd have evolved by now...>

<Gary...> Sandstone said. <He's that jerk from your town who's always gloating about his Pokemon, right? The one who used to have the cheerleading squad?>

<Yeah, I told you all ABOUT him.> Ash laughed.

<Yeah, you told me a lot about him, and that freaky dude in the apron.>

Ash sweatdropped at Sandstone's description of Brock. <Yeah.>

<Mm-hmmm... The only people you blabber MORE about are that Pikachu and that girl, what's her name, Mis-->

While Ash and Sandstone had been talking, Meowth had been recuperating. Fury in his eyes, he jumped up and yelled, "PAY DAY!"

As much to Meowth's surprise as everyone else's, a blizzard of coins appeared out of nowhere, smacking Persian, who yowled, annoyed. Meowth saw that Persian was weakened as well as distracted by the coins, so he took the opportunity.

Persian was batting at the coins, trying to create a break in the barrage wide enough to see what was happening, when out of nowhere, Meowth landed a hard kick on his forehead.

When the dust and coins cleared, Persian was out like a light.

<YESSSS!! And it's root, root, root for the VISITORS!> Sandstone yelled. All around, Giovanni's Pokemon were cheering. Every single one of them could remember being beaten up by Persian. While some of the Pokemon were rooting for Giovanni, no one was sad to see Persain go down.

"Yes!" Jessie yelled. "Go, Meowth!"

"When on earth did he learn Payday?" James wondered.

Jessie smacked him. "Who cares, as long as he knows it now!"

Giovanni was stunned--but mostly angry. "Persian! Return!"

He turned to his former employees, teeth gritted. "That was a mistake. Machoke!! Go!!"

Giovanni's largest and strongest Machoke stepped to his master's side.

<You think they stand a chance?> Sandstone whispered.

Ash laughed. <They wouldn't even 'stand a chance' against YOU, much less Persian! Something very strange is going on here!>

Meowth looked at the huge creature looming before him and sweatdropped. "Er..."

"Machoke, Seismic Toss!" Giovanni yelled.

"Uh-oh." Meowth cringed.

Machoke stepped toward Meowth...

"AAAAaaaAAAA--"

"Good lord!" James said.

"--AAAaaaAAAaaaAAA--"

<Watch out for that wall--too late,> Sandstone said.

"--AAaaaaAAAAAaaaAAAA--"

<I'm really starting to pity him,> Ash commented.

"--AAAaaaAAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaAAAAAH!!!!" Machoke finally let Meowth go, sending him crashing into yet another wall.

Jessie waited a beat. "Oh dear."

Meowth was on the floor, knocked out by Machoke after an impossible victory over Persian.

James ran and picked Meowth up from the floor. He quickly ran back, just in case Machoke got any ideas.

Jessie bit her lip, thinking. "Arbok, go!"

<Not bad,> Ash commented. <If Arbok's as good as Meowth suddenly is, maybe they have a chance.>

"Arbok, poison him, quick!" Jessie yelled.

With luck formerly only seen with a certain ten-year-old trainer with a Pikachu, Arbok dodged Machoke's defense and landed a good bite on its leg. Due to an appearance of the same luck, the venom floored Machoke in seconds.

<Wow!> Sandstone said. <That Arbok's pretty good! I pity the one the boss calls against HIM!>

Giovanni scowled. "Machoke, return! Dragonair, I choose you!!"

<Wha--!?! Argh, Sandstone, WHY did you have to say that?> Ash complained as he slithered to the field.

<Oops, I invited fate, didn't I?... Hey, wait, I invited Fate to call ME, not YOU!> Sandstone yelled.

"A Dragonair!" James said. "Imagine if we could catch that for the boss!!"

Jessie smacked him across the head with a frying pan. "JAMES, DON'T BE A MORON!!"

<Not again,> Arbok sighed.

<She does that often?>

<VERY.> Arbok paused, looking at Ash strangely. <Do I...Know you?>

"Okay, Arbok! Bite attack!" Jessie yelled.

<Gaah!> Ash launched himself into the air. Arbok plunged down on the very spot Ash would have been and glared up, annoyed.

"Dragonair, Ice Beam," Giovanni ordered.

Ash looked at Arbok for a second.

~Even if he DID attack me all those times...I can't.~

Ash aimed his Ice Beam and fired, missing by a centimeter.

Arbok glared up. <You did that on purpose!>

<Ash, don't be a hero!> Sandstone called.

<Why not? I'm pretty good at it,> Ash called back.

<Aw, dangit Ash--!>

"Arbok, wrap!" Jessie called out.

Arbok obeyed. Ash squirmed a little, but not too hard; Wrap was much better than Poison Sting.

~Ash...~ Arbok thought back. He had learned a lot since becoming an Arbok, and his vocabulary showed it. <Ash... Wait a second!>

<What?>

<Ash was the name of that brat with the Pikachu we were always after! Jessie-master kept wondering what happened to him after they brought him here and he never turned up outside. Strange... Must be a--a--co-in-ci-dennce!> Arbok said.

<Um, not really,> Ash said.

<What?!>

"Dragonair, stop wasting time and get out of that hold!!" Giovanni bellowed.

<Listen, I don't have much time! Giovanni has a lot of Pokemon! You don't stand a chance, and even if you DO beat them all, he'll kill you anyway! I--I've seen it.> Ash was almost free of Arbok's wrap.

<Wha-->

<Now, I'm going to miss you with a Hyper Beam!> Ash said. <You pretend to faint! Jessie will call you back, and when no one's looking, you sneak out of your Pokeball and take care of the guards! I'll make a distraction, then you guys run for it! It's your only chance!> Ash said quickly. There wasn't much longer Giovanni would allow him to dawdle.

<But WHY?> Arbok asked.

<I can't just let you die! I've seen the rest of Team Rocket, and you guys are as good as it gets! Everyone else is much more evil! You deserve a second chance!> Ash finally wriggled free.

"Dragonair! Hyper Beam!" Giovanni yelled.

Ash started to gather up the energy. <Just, could you do me one favor?>

Arbok was still a bit confused. <S-Sure.>

<Call my friends, Misty, Pikachu, and Brock, will you?>

<All riiiggghhtt...>

Ash fired. A huge ball of light burst out and hit the ground just in front of Arbok.

"Oh no! Arbok!" Jessie cried.

~*~*~

Will Team Rocket win against Giovanni? Will Brock and Pikachu manage to totally wreck Misty's date? Why am I suddenly asking questions like this? Well, this chapter got a bit long, so I've had to split it up a bit. ^^; And will Misty come to her senses before it's too late? Find out in the next chapter of If I Could Change the World, "Of Chess and Chess Games"!!