Chapter 5: Scars of the Past

"Margaret," The voice resounded in her skull, beating against the sore interior 
relentlessly.  Senses were dull, but as she slowly regained consciousness, she 
could sense a sharp biting pain lying in wait to agonize her.   "Huh?  What?  
Where am I?" she asked in response.  She opened her eyes only to find they met 
with an inky blackness.  "Wake up Margaret."  She wrinkled her nose at the voice 
again, and attempted to sit up, only to find that the white-hot pain seared 
through her body.  "Don't move now, your wounds have not yet been healed."  
Margaret resigned to her fate, resting again on the cold stone she now 
recognized under her.  "Where am I?  And why am I on stone?" she asked 
practically.  "Ask no questions yet Margaret, the answers will come later."

Cerise stared blankly at Ash who could barely relate the story of the battle 
over his sobs, he wiped the tears from his cheeks and sat down next to Misty, 
who held an uncontrollably sobbing James tightly.  "She's gone, I can't believe 
it," she moaned not bothering to wipe her tears away.  "I loved her, I loved her 
with all of my heart, and now she's been taken away from me by that god damned 
Rill!  I'll ensure his soul rots in hell!" James cried into Misty's shoulder.  
"What?" she asked not hearing what he had said.  "Rill's going to rot in hell, 
I'll kill him if it's the last thing I ever do," James hissed, hoping no one had 
heard him say he loved Jessie.

Cerise regarded the group solemnly, drumming her fingers on the table 
restlessly.  "The resistance suffered heavy losses today, I can only hope the 
alliance felt the same," she said.  "Well the alliance didn't loose their best 
friend!" James wailed.  Misty attempted to quiet him, but his sorrow would not 
be consoled.  "Shhh, everything will be okay, we'll all miss her, and she was a 
great friend, but we'll all be okay, when the pain dulls, and her death isn't so 
fresh in our hearts," Misty whispered, running her hand through James' cerulean 
hair down to his wings.  "Oh Misty, I miss her so much already, you have no idea 
what she meant," James sobbed.

Meowth, who had been silent, pressed his back into James' body further, hoping 
for comfort and to comfort.  "I know James, I was dere when youse two got 
rescued, she wouldn't leave ya, no matter how much I told her ta save herself," 
he said.  This only caused James to sob harder, clutching the cat to him 
lovingly.  "Her...Her sword," he choked.  "What?" Ash asked laying a hand on his 
shoulder.  "She left her sword so we could...We could come back for her, and 
give her a proper burial, instead of letting her stay out there on the 
battlefield!  And her sword will be the only thing I'll have left to-" he 
stopped suddenly, as if remembering something and smiled.

"Or maybe she's not dead!" James cried excitedly, leaping to the window.  He 
looked to the darkening skies and pressed his forehead against the icy glass.  
"She was still alive when we left!  Right?" he asked turning to the rest of the 
group.  His eager face fell as theirs did and Ash stepped forward, laying a hand 
on James' shoulder.  "James," he started, choking at the tightness of his 
throat, "as much as we all wish Jessie was still with us, she...She couldn't 
possibly have-" he trailed off, his own tears preventing further speaking.

There was a silence, and James wiped the tears furiously away from his cheeks, 
scowling.  "Well I'm going anyway," he muttered and stormed out the door. "James 
wait, don't!" Misty called after him, but Ash stopped her.  "He's suffering 
Misty, leave him alone," he said.  Misty pressed her hand against her chest 
somberly, tears sliding silently down her pale cerulean cheeks.  "I still can't 
believe she's gone," she whispered.  "Someone should go and make sure James 
doesn't kill himself," Riley muttered.  

Misty whirled around and decked the dragon firmly.  "Shut up!" she snarled.  
"No, he's right, someone should make sure James is okay, I'll go," Ash said 
starting for the door.  "Ash," Misty said quietly, and he turned around.  "Be 
careful."  He nodded and followed the hall out of the palace and proceeded to 
where he knew James would be.

The battleground still lay littered with bodies of soldiers who had given their 
lives in the effort and as James dropped deftly from the sky, he let his jaw 
drop in horror.  "My god," he breathed placing a hand over his mouth.  It hadn't 
seemed as bad as it looked now in the heat of the moment, when the valley had 
rung with the clash of swords and the screams of the wounded and dying.  The 
tears ran harder as he remembered Jessie had died that day too, and James cursed 
the cruel hand fate had dealt him.  "What did I do?" he sobbed quietly, "what 
did I do to deserve this?  Why take Jessie from me?  The only person I ever 
loved."

He picked his way carefully through the bodies, recognizing and wincing at a 
few, looking for the spot where his best friend had died in his arms.  A 
familiar purple glint caught his eye and he sighed as he prepared himself to 
find her.  He closed his eyes, not wanting to ever see Jessie dead and stopped 
when he deducted he must be close and opened one eye furtively.

The sword of the mind still stood erect, but contrary to what James had 
expected, Jessie did not lie in front of it.  "N...No," he breathed falling to 
his knees.  "God, she leaves me and now I can't even bury her properly?!  What 
did I ever do to deserve this!?" he cried to the sky.  He lurched forward with 
his sobs, burying his face in his hands and glared at the sword without an 
owner.  "I still love you Jessie, whether you're with me or not," he whispered 
pulling the blade from its anchored spot.

Before Jessie had died, the purple stone had been full of life, just as the 
clear stone in his sword was, but as if to rub her death in James' face more, 
the sword itself seemed dead.  James cradled it gently in his arms, starting for 
the hill that the sun was only then beginning to set behind.  Suddenly struck 
with inspiration James lifted himself gently a few feet in the air and arrived 
at the crest of the hill sooner.

He lighted at the top, and smiled vaguely at the spectacular view.  A long 
stretch of Aradain bathed in the orange light of sundown awaited him, and he let 
the tears fall unabashed.  It was just as beautiful as his Jessie had been, the 
perfect place for a grave if he had the body to lay to rest.  The rolling hills, 
fields, lakes and forests were all visible from one of the taller hills in the 
area and James closed his eyes as he felt a warm wind caress his face and toss 
his hair playfully in comfort.  "This is for you Jessie!" He whispered and drove 
the sword into the ground, as a final remembrance of his best friend.  He closed 
his eyes, bowing respectfully, and placed a hand wistfully of the small 
makeshift monument.  "May this stand forever in your memory, Jess," he whispered 
mournfully.

James sighed deeply, and jumped as he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder.  He 
whirled around, and softened his expression at Ash.  "Hey James," he said.  "How 
do you cope Ash?" James asked, never taking his gaze away from the sunset.  
"With what?" the boy replied.  "With losing something you loved more than life 
itself," James said bitterly.  Ash sighed and sat on the ground, James echoed 
his sigh and took a spot next to him on the warm grass.  "James, I really don't 
think you treasured Jessie more than your own life, I know you loved her, but 
you'll forget after a while.  When the pain isn't so fresh," he whispered wiping 
away his own tears.  "Ash you don't understand," James said with difficulty, 
"you wouldn't begin to."

Ash put his arm around James' shoulders and plucked a bit of grass from beneath 
him.  "Try me, I'm not dumb," he said.  This only caused James to burst into a 
fit of sobs, as if he had been reminded of something extremely painful and, 
alarmed, Ash embraced him lovingly.  "Oh geez, I'm so sorry James, I'm so sorry!  
You don't have to tell me," he cursed beginning to cry harder himself.

James slowly sat up, backing out of Ash's arms and wrapping his own about his 
waist.  "No, if I don't tell someone, I swear I'll find no other choice but to 
kill myself, and you're the only one who knows I loved Jessie," he started.  Ash 
nodded as James drew in a deep breath, shaky with tears and stared straight 
through him with piercing emerald eyes.  "Jessie and I have been through more 
things together than I could possibly tell you in one day, but there's one in 
particular that changed our relationship forever.  It was when I realized I did 
love her, and always had, from the moment I laid eyes on her, and that we were 
supposed to be together."

"But we were sick of failing, and we were just about to quit, when Giovanni 
finally caught up with us.  He decided the latest failure was the last straw, 
and he...He got us Ash, he had Jessie watch as they beat me, whipped me and 
stabbed me.  They were going to anyway, but like an idiot I tried to escape, 
normally it would have been only the whip, but the knives came out when I 
started to struggle.  I tried to save us both, but only ended up with my hand 
shredded and a lot more wounds than I really needed.  Look at my hand!  I still 
have the scars, especially this one," he said extending the scarred hand and 
turning it over so Ash could view his wrist, "This one almost took my life."

Ash fingered the ugly pink line wincing in empathy as James pulled it back.  "Do 
you know what it feels like to be dying?" James asked in a low voice.  "No, I 
don't," Ash answered solemnly.  "I do, I was, and very slowly.  They slit my 
wrist, and with the other wounds I hand, I was bleeding to death.  It was the 
worst feeling I've ever had in my life.  I kept thinking of what Jessie and 
Meowth were going to do without me, if Giovanni would kill them too, or if they 
would escape.  I even told Jessie to take care of my Pokemon for me, but it made 
her cry so I didn't ask again.  I kept thinking about all the things I hadn't 
done, things I'd never get to do again, and things I would never get to do 
period.  I can honestly tell you, that when you think you're going to die, or 
you know it, it's the most depressing thing in the world.  You want to be as 
close as humanly possible to your loved ones, but Jess was the closest thing I 
had to family, I even began to consider her it, and if I had to die, dying in 
her arms was were I wanted to be.  When I felt myself slipping, I tried to say 
goodbye to her, I tried so hard!  But- But she wouldn't hear of it!" James had 
to pause, his sobbing breaking his speech.

Ash listened on in horror, the story of what had happened to his friends back in 
the old world, the story he had a glimpse of in Vinetra's labyrinth, the story 
only Jessie and James knew, was finally being told verbally.  "Dear God James, 
I...I had no idea," he breathed placing a hand on his back.  James swallowed his 
sobs hard and stared harder at the twilight colored landscape his brows knitting 
deeply.  "I'm not done yet," he whispered harshly, "she...She wouldn't even let 
me say I was dying, even though I knew in my heart I was, she bound my wrist in 
strips from her own uniform!  Even though she desperately needed it to keep warm 
in that cell.  I told her to save herself.  She told me she'd rather die by my 
side along with me than live alone.  God, when she told me that, I wanted to 
kiss her, as passionately as I possibly could, tell her I loved her and we'd be 
together forever, but I couldn't.  God damn it, why couldn't I have told her?  
Now she'll never know, we'll never be together.  But aside from that, she saved 
my life Ash, in more ways than one.  If you can possibly understand when I say 
this, she wouldn't let me die.  Her confidence, and optimism, her encouragement, 
even her first aide skills, and her undying friendship pulled me through.  She's 
the only reason I'm still alive right now, she was my only ray of hope, and even 
on top of that, I loved her more than anything, and she was my best and only 
friend."

James wailed as he tearfully finished his tale, burying his face into his knees 
which he held drawn in close to his chest.  "Damn!  Damn it, why?!  I don't 
understand, why would this happen?  This has to totally be a fluke, this can't 
happen!" Ash sobbed burying his face into James' shoulder.  "I'm not meant to be 
happy, that's why.  Fate gave me parents who didn't love me, and took the one 
person who did away, I'm not supposed to love or be loved," James replied 
bitterly.  "James don't say that, you still have us, and we all love you," Ash 
said forcefully.  "I don't want to live, I want to be with her!  I can't stand 
it!" the winged young man sobbed.

Ash pulled James close to him, feeling his shoulders shake violently with his 
sobs.  "I failed her Ash, she wouldn't let me die, and I let her.  It's all my 
fault," he whispered embracing his friend back.  "No, don't you dare say that 
James, she died a noble death, and you couldn't do anything to stop it," the boy 
assured him.  "She...She lost her life, to save mine," James added, "I could 
have killed Rill, right then and there, but it felt wrong to me, it was dirty, 
and I didn't think it was fair at all to kill an unarmed man, he wouldn't stand 
for it.  He was going to kill me but Jessie, she- she took the blade for me.  I 
should be lying dead on the battlefield, Jessie should be here at my grave, not 
me at hers.  It's all my fault!  If I had killed him, Jessie would still be 
alive, and so would I, and we could be together," James sobbed.

Ash didn't have an answer for him, and aside from holding him as he sobbed, the 
boy could do nothing to console his own spirits, or his friend's.  James did 
indeed have a noble sense of valor Ash had not known he possessed, but it had 
cost him the life of a friend.  "No James, don't blame yourself, don't blame 
yourself," he promised.  James said nothing in response as the boy draped his 
arm about his shoulders and stood, helping him to his feet.  "Come on James, we 
all need some rest, lets go home," he said.

James didn't object as they started back for the palace, simply looking at the 
ground, tears still sliding from his cheeks to the bloodied ground as he 
whispered a final message to his best friend.  "Goodbye...Jess."

@->->-

"I still wanna know what's going on," her senses had returned, and though the 
pain still threatened to sear at her entire body, she had regained strength, and 
was interrogating to strange voice that spoke to her.  "All will be reve aled in 
due time Margaret, just rest for now," she wrinkled her nose at this, frowning 
deeply.  "Wh-Why do you keep calling me Margaret?  That's not my name," she said 
forcefully.  "It is and you know it is," the voice answered.  "No!  It isn't!  
No one calls me that!"  "Your Mother did, until you told her not to," Tears 
stung at the corners of Margaret's eyes as she remembered.  "It...It is my name, 
but I hate that name," she answered.  "What shall I call you then?  What name do 
you go by?"  "I...I can't remember."

@->->-

James opened his burning eyes as he heard his door slowly creak open and looked 
up into a second pair of emeralds.  He frowned at the boy and sighed deeply as 
he didn't smile at him as he normally would.  "Ugh, leave me alone Jasper, I 
need to think," he muttered turning over on his bed.  "About Jessie?"  James 
winced at her name and forced himself to stop the tears before they ran again.  
"Jasper, Jessie's-"  "Dead, I know," he said before James could finish.

James was silent as Jasper clambered up onto the bed with him and wrapped his 
arm about his shoulders lovingly.  "You'll still take care of me, right James?" 
he asked.  James stifled another sob as he rolled back over to face Jasper, 
hugging him close.  "I'll always be here for you Jasper, and I will take care of 
you," he said tearfully.

The winds, in response to their messenger's sorrow, had begun to blow more 
violently as a light rain began to fall and a low, mournful clap of thunder 
sounded above the land as James and Jasper fell asleep, tears on both their 
faces.

"I-I can't remember my name!  Except Margaret, I think I went by my middle name, 
but I don't know what that is!  I can't remember anything!  What's going on?" 
Margaret wailed beginning to cry.  "I cannot help you, but I can show you 
something that may help," the voice said.  "Please, please do," Margaret 
replied.  "Not yet, you'd be blinded, I'll put this here and start it off dim to 
get your eyes used to the light," the voice said.  "Why can't I use them?  How 
long have they been closed?" Margaret asked, panicked.  "A very long time, 
please just rest," the voice said forcefully.  "No!  I have to see what's going 
on!  I have to remember!  Something anything!  Do I even have a past?  Who am 
I?" Margaret wailed.

She heard a sigh, and a tiny purple flicker started near her feet.  She calmed 
at it, and settled back down on the cold stone.  She found the strength to place 
a hand on her stomach, and winced in pain.  "Your wounds will be gone soon, lie 
still and I will finish healing you," the voice said.  Margaret nodded and bit 
her tongue as a mild electric sensation passed through her body.  She cried out 
weakly in pain, squeezing her eyes shut as it intensified.  "Stop!" she yelped 
as a searing pain shot through her abdomen.

As if to respond, the pain ceased, and her body felt renewed, and fresh, as if 
she had never been wounded at all.  Had she been able to see, Margaret would 
have sat up to see what had been healed, but knowing that it was not possible, 
she relaxed a bit more and reclined easily.  "You, you healed me," she whispered 
in awe.  "Yes I did, and soon you shall know everything, why you're here, what 
purpose you serve to me, and even who you are," the voice said, and a shadow was 
suddenly visible in the purple light.

Margaret frowned at it, and sat up.  "Show yourself, if I'm your captive, I at 
least want to see you!" she said.  "The light is too dim, but I will tell you my 
name, I am known as Shadow, mistress of the powers of dark and the mind, you 
will see my natural form when your eyes are ready, shall I increase your light?" 
Shadow asked.  Margaret nodded and squinted as the light grew brighter.  "I can 
take it, more," she muttered.  "But I don't-"  "More damn it!"  The light 
increased considerably and Margaret was forced to stop.

She smiled at the warm purple glow and cocked her head to one side thoughtfully.  
"That light, it seems so familiar, can't you tell me who I am now Shadow?" she 
asked.  "You must remember on your own, but I will help, but for the power's 
sake rest now!  Too much exertion and you'll kill yourself, and I know you don't 
want that," Shadow said.  Margaret was forced to accept this answer and laid 
back down with a loud sigh.

The rain had fallen for days, and James had spent these days locked in his room.  
He had only allowed Jasper to visit him, and the only time he was ever seen was 
in the evenings, when he went back to Jessie's grave at twilight.  This greatly 
disturbed the rest of the messengers, and they finally decided to do something 
about it.  They chose Ash to represent them, since James had seemed to turn to 
him the most, and though he hated to break his friend's heart, Ash agreed and 
reluctantly entered the silent room.

James sat up as he heard the boy enter, and he stopped a few feet from the bed 
in which the winged young man had not left since Jessie's death.  "James, we've 
been talking, and we need you to touch base with reality.  You're losing 
yourself, and we're losing you.  I'm afraid we can't let you go to Jessie's 
grave anymore," he explained gently.  James' jaw dropped and a quiet sob escaped 
his throat as the seemingly perpetual tears began again.  Ash looked away from 
the utterly shocked and horrified expression on James' face as he sat in his bed 
and wiped the tear that slid down his cheek.  "No!  You can't do this to me!" he 
wailed.

Ash sat at the foot of the bed and put a hand on James' shin affectionately.  
"I'm sorry, but it's for the best, you can go one last time tonight to say 
goodbye, but after that you'll stay here.  You need to get back into the real 
world, Jessie's gone, and you can't bring her back.  We need you, and you have 
to get over it.  For your sake and the sake of Aradain," he said.  James looked 
to the window and got up silently, never taking his gaze away from the storm 
outside.  "I caused this didn't I?" he asked.  "Don't change the subject James," 
Ash shot back angrily.

James turned over his shoulder, freezing Ash with the malice in his eyes and 
snatched a piece of paper from the table.  "How could you do this to me?  I 
thought you knew how I felt, but I guess I was wrong," he muttered brushing past 
him to the door.  Ash watched him go, his tangled, unkempt tail dragging 
listlessly after him long after James was no longer visible.  "Don't be out too 
late, oh yeah, and I'm sorry," he said sighing.

Jasper, who had remained silent throughout the entire conversation, moved to 
Ash's side and laid a hand on his shoulder.  "James lost the other half of his 
soul, don't be so hard on him," he said.  Ash was speechless as the little boy 
hopped off the bed and walked briskly out of the room, wondering how on earth a 
boy that young could've come up with something like that himself.

James fought the winds and driving rain as he flew to the hill crest which bore 
his precious sword one last time.  He lighted at the base as he always did, and 
climbed the slope by foot and smiled vaguely as the sword glinted in what little 
gray sunlight there was left in the day.  He cradled the small package he had 
brought from his room in his hands wistfully and knelt in front of the blade of 
the mind.  "They told me I can't come here anymore, I'm scaring them and I don't 
want to, so this will be my last visit here.  Just know that I love you, and I 
miss you Jess, and I hope we can be together again someday," he whispered.

He kissed the small package he held in his hands lovingly, and undid the 
delicate strings that bound it.  He cupped his hand and pressed the paper into 
it as to keep the coarse black seeds inside the makeshift packet and used his 
free hand to dig in the wet earth.  "This will remind you that I'll never forget 
you, and I'll always love you," he whispered as the small hole at the base of 
the makeshift monument grew to his desired size.  He dumped the seeds into it 
and gingerly covered it with the loose soil.  "These should do well here," he 
whispered and unfolded the piece of paper he still held in his hands.

James sighed and wiped tears and rain from his cheeks and looked fondly on the 
text he had written himself.  "I'll always remember this Jess, and you,"

"You protected me from devastation
You filled my life with jubilation
You completed my heart with warmth and love
Even now that you rest in the stars above
To you, Jessie
From, James
Though you're gone from my life, you'll always be here
And I'll always have the memories, which I hold dear"

	He tied the poem, a symbolic version of his old motto he had shared with 
Jessie to the delicately coiled metal of Jessie's sword with the string that had 
bound the packet of seeds he had gathered from Cerise's garden.  He had 
painstakingly collected them from the reddest roses he could possibly find there 
and had decided to plant them at Jessie's grave.  They reminded him of her in a 
pleasant way, of kinder times, and the reasons he loved her so he thought it 
just that they should stand as a more suiting memorial than merely her sword.

James smiled at the now complete memorial and turned to go, but stopped as an 
icy wind whipped past his ear, whispering a scant message to him.  "What?  What 
did you say?" he said panic suddenly gripping him.  "Don't give up hope," James 
closed his eyes at this and covered his ears.  "Shut up!  What do you mean?" he 
screamed to the now raging winds.  The winds spoke to him again and he gritted 
his teeth and pressed his hands harder to his ears.  "Damn you!  Shut the hell 
up!  That's not true!" he snarled.  The winds repeated their message and James 
collapsed into the wet and muddy grass, regardless of what happened to his 
feathers and clothing, sobbing uncontrollably.  "That isn't true!  It isn't!  It 
can't be!  She's dead she's dead!  She died in my arms!  Her blood was on my 
hands!  She can't still be alive!  Stop telling me she is!" he screeched to the 
wind.

It only howled louder and lighting ripped the black fabric of the sky in two as 
James stood up defiantly.  "Shut the hell up, I'm not listening to you!  You're 
lying to me!" he cried.  The winds were silenced as another, even larger bolt of 
electricity split a distant tree, engulfing it into starving flames.  The storm 
quelled, and the winds rustled the grass where James had just been standing, 
only to find him gone.

Ash was awakened with a jolt at the thunder and sat bolt upright in bed.  He put 
a hand to his forehead, breathing heavily, and slipped noiselessly from his bed.  
He walked to the window, wondering if James had yet returned and raised an 
eyebrow as he spotted Brock and Cerise standing near the gate.  He frowned and 
shut his curtains, moving to his closet to dress and join them.

He threw his clothes on haphazardly and, grabbing his sword on the way out of 
his room, made his way quickly to the courtyard.  "Hey Brock!  Cerise!  What's 
going on?" he called over the rain.  Brock turned around and beckoned him to 
join them at the gate.  "Where is he?!"  "I told you I don't know, he left at 
sundown and hasn't returned yet," Cerise explained to a citizen of Vertigo.  
"Then we'll go find the bastard!  We'll hunt him down and hang his wings from 
the clock tower in Vertigo!" the same gruff man replied.

Brock sighed.  "You have to understand, James' emotions affect the winds, he's 
going through tough times, the winds have simply brought these storms.  They'll 
pass I promise you," he said and Ash finally understood.  "But our homes have 
already been flooded!  Crops ruined!  Even if they were to stop right now the 
damage would still be done!  Come comrades!  Let us find that traitor 
ourselves!" he cried.

All present winced as a cheer of agreement rose from the crowd and they moved in 
a mutual mass away from the city gates.  "May the seven powers protect him," 
Cerise breathed putting a hand to her chest, "but if that idiot gets himself 
killed its no skin off my nose."  She flipped her now wet hair over her shoulder 
and sauntered back into the palace.  "Reminds me of Jessie," Ash breathed 
mournfully.  Brock nodded.  "Yeah, but we'd better find James and fast if we 
want him back alive," he said motioning to the guard to open the gate.

The man nodded the affirmative and the ancient gate slowly creaked open, landing 
with a dull thud on the wet ground.  "Let's go," Brock said wrapping the cloak 
he wore around him tighter and dashing quickly onto the dirt path leading away 
from the palace.  Ash nodded and sprinted after his friend, shielding his eyes 
from the stinging droplets of rain.

James had decided to walk after soaking his wings in the rain and didn't even 
look up from the ground as the winds whispered a warning into his ears.  "Shut 
up and leave me alone," he snarled at them.  They left him then, tired of his 
attitude and rustled the leaves of the trees one last time in mourning.

James scowled at them, annoyed that they had betrayed him, filling his mind with 
lies and further tormenting his already broken soul.  He sighed deeply and 
lifted his head, brushing his now soaking wet blue hair behind his ears and out 
of his face.

A glimmer of light in the distance caught his eye and he stopped, shading his 
eyes from the vicious, needle sharp flurry of rain that now fell, and the 
glimmer increased in magnitude.  "What the-" he muttered stepping forward as to 
see more clearly.  The light split into several easily distinguished points of 
light, and angry yelling was audible.

James tensed and took a step backward, a feeling of foreboding suddenly gripping 
him.  "Look!  There's the traitor!" he heard someone yell.  James didn't even 
have time to react before an arrow sailed deftly and stealthily through the air, 
narrowly missing his head.  He turned to run, but was struck in the back by a 
large stone and slipped in the mud, landing face down into the wet dirt path.

James only had to wait a few seconds before the mob was upon him, and he felt 
the first enraged boot find his side, crying out in pain.  "Oh so the infallible 
messenger feels pain?  Well how about this!"  James shut his eyes against 
everything, but wailed in sheer agony as he felt cold steel pierce through his 
shoulder.  "Get him up!  We'll chop his wings off while he's still breathing!"  
The assailing intensified, rocks, fists and sticks coming from unknown places 
and James stopped the struggle.  "Please just let me die now," he thought 
bitterly to himself, "I'll be with Jessie then."

James winced with a bruised eye as he felt the cold wet blade of a dagger at the 
base of his left wing, and braced himself for the pain.  "Hope ya can live 
through this!  I wanna kill ya meself!"  James let a single tear fall from 
beneath closed lids.  Was this what his destiny was?  To die in the mud murdered 
by the same people he had fought so hard to protect?  Lost Jessie to protect?  
"Hey!  Leave him alone!"  He recognized Ash's enraged voice as the roar of fire 
resounded close to him.  He allowed his mangled body to drop to the wet ground 
as the townspeople fled and lay still.  He could hear the sound of their 
footsteps fleeing in terror and he finally relaxed, but groaned at every move.

Ash let his outstretched hand fall to his side as he knelt next to the still 
form of his friend.  "James?  Oh god, if only we'd stopped them at the castle.  
James!" he hissed, tears gathering in his eyes.  "I lifted him once, I can do it 
again, move," Brock instructed and Ash allowed him to gently lift James from the 
ground.  "I won't let us lose him too," he said firmly.

Ash let the tears fall discreetly as he watched Brock carry the limp, lifeless 
form of his friend that had once been happy.  He had been in love, and finally 
free of all oppression he had endured whilst a member of Team Rocket.  Now as he 
watched, he saw a mere shell of that former person, even unconscious, he face 
was still twisted with mental and physical pain.  His filthy wings drooped 
listlessly from between Brock's arms and dragged in the mud, as did the once 
lustrous tail.  He bled from a dozen different wounds, his still shoulder length 
blue hair hung tangled, wet and dirty, and Ash almost wished he could be dead.

James struggled to open the eye that wasn't throbbing in pain as it swelled and 
bruised and held Brock's stern gray face in his vision.  He closed the eye after 
that, knowing he was with friends and allowed the dark to claim hum, slipping 
slowly out of consciousness.

@->->-

White, blinding and bright was all there was.  He struggled to keep his eyes 
open to see where he was, but it was literally impossible.  The light shifted, 
and as James was finally able to view it, a black void was just barely 
discernible just ahead of him.  He struggled to run forward to it, but found 
himself securely rooted to the spot, unable to move any part of his body.  He 
opened his mouth to scream when the ground pitched and he suddenly felt himself 
being hurled forward, stopping suddenly at a frighteningly familiar figure.

Her loose red hair hung just below her waist and she wore a long flowing gown of 
white, both being tossed lazily by an unfelt breeze.  James knew where he was 
now and smiled, he had died and he was in heaven with his Jessie.  She turned 
around slowly and upon seeing him, her jaw dropped in horror.  James' spirits 
sank as she looked back to the black void and reached out to him as a tendril of 
the inky bane shot froth from the center, wrapping itself about her waist and 
drawing her back into it.  "James!  Help!" was the only utterance as she slipped 
back into the ravine of darkness.  James reached out to her as it exploded with 
a bright flash of light and fell to the ground with the force, a dull roar the 
only sound audible.

Misty jumped as James shot bolt upright in bed, screaming Jessie's name at the 
top of his lungs.  He stopped, standing stark still for a moment before drawing 
in a deep breath and looking to her quizzically.  "Oh, hey Misty," he muttered, 
his one open eye rolling back into his head as he slumped backwards down to the 
bed.  Misty gasped and frowned deeply, continuing her previous task of cleaning 
the various scrapes on his forehead with a damp cloth.  Meowth, who had kept a 
silent vigil next to his friend, returned from being tossed to the floor and 
purred gently against his side.  "Geez James!  Don't scare me like that!  Are 
you okay?" she asked irritably.  James winced against the cloth's biting 
coldness, but looked up to Misty mournfully.  He nodded, but the despairing 
scowl never left his face.  "Why?"  he asked quietly.

Misty sighed and lovingly dabbed a fresh bead of blood away from just above his 
eyebrow.  "The rain," she answered, understanding what he had meant.  James 
nodded in understanding and winced in agony as he attempted to move.  "My 
shoulder hurts," he remarked dully.  Alarmed, Misty pulled back the blankets and 
frowned deeply at the already blood soaked bandage around his shoulder.  "Shit, 
they really got what they wanted this time, lie still and I'll get something to 
clean that up with," she said and hurried from the room.

James watched her leave and shivered, not only with cold at having no shirt on 
and no blanket to cover himself with, but in memory of the dream as well.  He 
jerked the thick fabric back over himself with the arm he was still able to move 
and sighed deeply, wondering what on earth it had meant.  Normally he dreamt of 
Jessie, but it was never as significant as that dream had been.  He closed his 
eyes hard, trying to think as the door creaked and he looked expectantly down to 
see Jasper hop, as always, enthusiastically into the room.  "They told me you 
were hurt, and to leave Misty with you, but I had to see you!  James, are you 
going to die?" he asked, genuinely afraid.

James managed a weak smile and placed a hand lovingly onto the boy's head.  
"Kid, I may have gotten the hell beaten out of me, but I won't leave you," he 
said affectionately.  Jasper smiled briefly, but tears sprung to his eyes as he 
noted the mangled shoulder.  "Did they stab you?" he asked gently touching it.  
"Yes," James replied with difficulty and felt his heart break as the little boy 
began to cry, gently easing himself onto the bed with his stricken friend.  "The 
world is so awful, why do the people I love always get hurt or die?" he sobbed. 

James held the boy close, kissing his forehead gently and rocking his sobbing 
form.  "Shhh, I love you, and that's all you ever need," he assured him.  "Then 
how do you live without Jessie?" Jasper asked through tears.  The winged young 
man was forced to remain silent at the mention of his deceased friend and James 
bit his lip as he began to cry himself, and a warm sensation began tingling in 
his wounded shoulder.  "Just barely, just barely," he replied at length.  As the 
sensation increased James bit his lip in discomfort and shifted his shoulder 
painfully.  When it didn't abate at the new position, the heat persisted until 
he finally cried out in pain and sat up sharply, allowing the boy to drop to the 
bed next to him.

Jasper sat up and gasped in terror as James looked in wonder at his wounded 
shoulder, picking the loose end of the bandage away and unwrapping it carefully.  
The blood still remained, but as the last of the fabric freed his arm, the wound 
from the dagger was gone.  "What the-" he started, but stopped as his vision 
clouded with white.  The image of Jessie turning and screaming his name flashed 
before his vision again and he shut his eyes.  "No!  Stop torturing me!" he 
screamed.  "James open your eyes!" Jasper exclaimed, panicked.  James felt the 
boy shake him roughly and he complied with his wishes.

Jasper looked up at him balefully and James smiled with a sudden understanding.  
"The scroll," he said quietly and slipped from bed.  "James you should be 
resting," Jasper protested following him as he changed into a clean tunic.  "I 
don't care anymore, this is much more important than my health," he said jamming 
his boots on roughly.  "What in Aradain could that possibly be?" Jasper asked 
irritated.  James looked at him cynically, a smug grin spread wide across his 
face.  "Jessie is alive, and I'm going to find her."