The Best Poke’mon Story Ever!

Chapter Three:

Ash’s ‘Beautiful’ Day

 

Out in the empty living room of the group’s new apartment, lied two bodies under a blanket on the carpet. It was Ash and Misty, wrapped in each other’s arms. Ash was awake, and admiring his girlfriend’s face.

‘Lying there next to Misty was hopefully going to sum up how the day would go. Perfection. In that case you can say that Gary’s victory against me would sum up how the day would go…only from his point of view…but through my eyes.’ Ash THOUGHT.

“Ash! Misty! Wake your asses up!” Brock’s yelling blistered through the room, startling Ash and waking up Misty. The two got up off the floor and were met by their older friend, walking into the room.

“What up, Brock?” Ash’s question followed with a yawn.

“The moving van is here with our furniture. So let’s get UN-packing.” Brock explained and clapped his hands twice.

Eventually they had unpacked all their furniture from the van and had it piled at the entrance of the living room. They stood there staring at the mess.

“Can we go back to carpet now?” Ash asked.

Misty burst out laughing. “Ash, that’s so funny. Instead of saying ‘bed,’ you said ‘carpet’ because we were sleeping on the carpet.” her words followed with more laughter.

Ash hugged her. “I love girlfriends, they laugh at whatever you say.”

“Even if it’s not funny apparently. Now stop being mushy and let’s put all this stuff where it needs to be.” Brock pushed the two apart from their hug, disgusted at the level of affection they were showing.

“But Brooock, we’re tiiired.” Ash whined.

“And unmotivated.” Misty added, putting an arm around Ash’s waist.

“Unmotivated, ay?” Brock rubbed his chin. “I know what to do.” he dug into his green back pack and pulled out his Ipod and Ipod speakers. He found the song he was looking for and blasted it. “Let’s get it started in here!” Brock shouted.


Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Yeah.

As the song plays, the three moved the furniture around the house and set it in their place in a fast-motion sped up pace

Lose control, of body and soul.
Don't move too fast, people, just take it slow.
Don't get ahead, just jump into it.
Ya'll here a body, two pieces to it.

You'll want me body people will walk you through it.
Step by step, like you're into new kid.
Inch by inch with the new solution.
Trench men hits, with no delusion.
The feeling's irresistible and that's how we movin'.

Everybody, everybody, let's get into it.

Get it started, get it started, get it started.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.
Yeah.
(‘Let’s Get It Started’ by The Black Eyed Peas)

Everything was now in place, and the three sat up against the wall by the front door, warn out. “If this is what normal people go through, I want to be a pokemon trainer again.” Ash complained.

Brock turned to his friend. “You haven’t seen anything yet…just wait till we have to have company over and the whole place needs to be cleaned.”

Ash gulped.

Some say we're never meant to grow up
I'm sure they never knew enough
I know the pressures won't go
Away
It's too late

Find out the difference somehow
It's too late to even have faith
Don't think things will ever change
You must be dreaming

Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all
It's so easy after all
(series theme song, ‘Some Say’ by Sum41)

Ash sat on the newly placed couch, watching TV. “I choose to play my Crystal Math Dragon card and use my trap card to prevent your Exalt Dragon from firing it’s Fire Ball card.” Yu-Gi-Oh announced on the show he was watching.

“Pff. Yu-Gi-Oh is just a cheap rip off of Monster Rancher, which is a cheap rip off of Digimon, which is a rip off of something else.” he changed the channel to Cartoon Network.

“Hey Misty. Get in here.”

“What?” she walked into the room.

“Sit. There’s a Milktank and Farfetched marathon on today. We can ask Brock to make some burgers and fried farfetched before the show makes us feel too sorry for those pokemon.” (Milktank and Farfetched is the pokemon version of the old cartoon network series, ‘Cow and Chicken’

“I’d love to Ash. But I have to go to Cerulean today to get my stuff.” Misty sat down next to him.

“Wha?! But why?” he asked, disappointed and surprised.

“So I have stuff. And clothes. And my own personal hygiene products.

“I hate that place. every time you go there, you don’t come back for a couple of seasons.” he crossed his arms out of anger and glared ahead at the Television.

“Seasons?” Misty asked.

“Yeah. Spring, fall, winter, and summer. I guess what I meant to say is you don’t come back for two years. I mixed up years with seasons some how. My mistake.” Ash explained.

“But that trend is over, Ashy. I’ll be back at the end of the day. I promise.” she put a hand on his chin and turned his face towards her.

“Well…ok.” he leaned in and the two kissed.

“And Brock’s gonna be going to Pewter to get his stuff. You’ll have the whole place to yourself. Do whatever you want.” Misty told him.

“I can scream loudly for no reason?” Ash asked.

“Whatever you want, darling.” she kissed him on the forehead.

“This whole no girlfriend for a day at the beginning of the relationship might not be such a bad thing.” Ash thought out loud.

“Heh heh. don’t push your luck.” Misty glared at him.

Not long after Misty and Brock had left to their home towns, Ash was on the phone. “Hello? Ms. Cleo?” he asked.

“This be Ms. Cleo. How can I help you today?” she asked him.

“Yeah. I have a coupon for three readings of the future.” Ash told her, while looking at under the magnet on the fridge.

“When does it expire, my dear?” she asked.

“Uh…January first. I got it at my loser’s party.”

“Ok den. I shall begin. Steve the Totodile Hunter will be killed by a mantine.” she predicted.

“That happened over a month ago.” he told her.

“Oh, uh…wrong magazine. Here we are. The movie ‘The Number 23 will be released on February 23rd, 2007.”

“Interesting. Go on.” Ash was definitely intrigued by that bit of info.
“Greg Page of will leave The Wiggles because of an illness.”

“No! not the yellow one!” a tear dripped from Ash’s right eye.

“And the Playstation 3 will become a big success, even doe it’s a waste of money, and they already be planning a PS4 and a PS5.” Cleo told him.

“I’d have to take out a mortgage to buy that thing.” Ash joked, and then wrote it down on a sticky note for later use.

“Now do you want your daily psychic reading for just $29.95?” she asked.

“As long as it doesn’t say I’m renting Brokeback Mountain cuz I already made plans to go to Blockbuster and get it.”

“Well I was gonna say you would buy it, but ok. I’ll tell you something else.” she said.

“Owe! Thanks a lot.” he said, sarcastically, and upset.

“Today you be havin a beauty-ful day.”

“That’s it? I already knew dat.” he sighed. “Sorry you wasted me time.” he hung up, disappointed.

“Pikachu pi pi, etc.” Pikachu said, sitting on the couch. Subtitles appear at the bottom of your computer screen: ‘that had to have been the longest phone call in fanfic history. Please praise Neo Namco, he now has something in the record books.’

“That’s right, Pikachu. You do have to be taken out t side or you’ll crap in my shoes. Yes you do, oh yes you do.” Ash said in baby talk.

But his talk offended pikachu and well… “Peek-chu!!!” the two words being subtitled are blurred out for this fic rating.

Ash’s neighbor, Bryan sat on the couch in his place watching TV. “We’re now back to Jim and Carrey on Boomerang.” the voiceover on the TV set announced.

On the screen there was a Persian chasing a rattata, both were running on two legs.

“Carrey always beats out Jim. Just once I’d like the Persian to win. I hate rattatas how they infest your house and eat all your food. I hate it!” he complained, stomping the ground beneath him with his right foot.

His fit was interrupted when a loud piercing scream blasted through his ears. It was the scream of a woman. He immediately ran out of his apartment and into the hallway. “Where did it come from?” he looked all around him. The scream went off again, and he had it locked on. He opened the door to Ash’s apartment and ran in.

“What the hell, man?” Bryan stood there, upset. “I can’t hear my TV when there are screaming women in the building. Can you rape whoever your raping later?”

“Sorry. But I’m all alone and I can scream loudly for no reason.” Ash explained why he was screaming so loudly.

“Really? I’ll join in.” Bryan was intrigued. The two both started screaming their heads off, trying to out-scream each other. “Ahhhhh!/Ahhhhh!” the two went on simultaneously.

“I know. Let’s try out different kinds of screams.” Bryan suggested. “7th Heaven is getting cancelled.”

Ash screamed a shocked and upset scream. “Ok. There’s nothing but diet sodas in the fridge.”

Bryan let out a horrible “Nooooooo!” and got on his knees. “You get shot in the gut.” he then imitated the sound of a gun shot with his mouth.

Ash let out a pained scream, and fell to the floor.

“Your turn.” Bryan told him.

“I take a knife to your back.” Ash simulated stabbing his neighbor with a knife, but was using something else.

“Oh god no! Nooo! Stop stabbing me!” Bryan cried out. And then he noticed what Ash was holding. “Ew! Why do you have a dildo?”

“Huh?” Ash noticed the item. “Ahh.” he dropped it immediately. “What’s a dildo?” he then asked.

“It’s what you like to use as your date every night.” Bryan joked, and started laughing.

“I have a girlfriend, actually.”

“Yeah right. Maybe a boyfriend. Or at least a part of a boyfriend.” Bryan continued joking and laughing.

“Ok, whatever. It’s your turn.” Ash kicked the item under the couch.

“Ok ok. Let me just get into my own character from just a few months ago.” Bryan rubbed his head on both sides. “I’m gonna kill you, ex girlfriend of mine!” she shouted.

Ash once again released his extremely loud woman’s scream.

Flashing to the next scene, a cop is standing at the door, talking to the two screamers. “He was about 6’10, 245 pounds, wears the number one. African American. Has tattoos on his arms and chest.” Ash described who the ‘killer’ that was attacking them looked like, getting the detail off of a poster on the wall. A poster of Amare Stoudemire.

“Thanks. We’ll start looking for him.” the cop write down the description in his notebook and walked away.

“I think we should do something else.” Ash suggested after closing the door.

“Want to play Powerpuff Girl’s Monopoly?” Bryan asked, taking the game out from behind his back. “I call Bubbles.”

“Nah. I want to watch TV.” Ash waved him off and took a seat on the couch.

“Oh…ok, fine.” Bryan walked towards the door sadly.

“Can’t you hang out with you friends? Or girlfriend?” Ash asked him.

“My girl is at a laundry mat doing laundry all day and all my friends are in jail.” Bryan told him and walked out the door, with his head down.

About an hour later, Ash was watching Home Improvement, and trying to figure out why a sitcom wasn’t making him laugh.

“Come on Wilson. Let me see your mouth. I promise not to laugh.” Tim pleaded, standing in his yard, while his neighbor, Wilson stood in his yard, his mouth covered by the fence.

“No. why don’t you go take some drugs or something, santa?” Wilson suggested and laughed.

“Why wont you let me see your mouth?” Tim asked.

“Cuz they’re all chappy.” Wilson said sadly.

“You are a sad strange little man.” Tim raised his eyebrow at his neighbor.

“Ok. Here.” Wilson stood up on his trash can and revealed his face. For he had no mouth at all. This caused Tim to collapse on the ground.

The brilliant show however was interrupted when Ash heard a loud sound in the hallway. It sounded almost like that of thunder. He got up off the couch and opened his door to see Bryan bowling a basketball into some wine bottles at the end of the hall.

“Are you bowling in the hall?” Ash asked, leaning against the wall.

“Yeah. I once bowled off the rough, but I hit a girl in the head once and she suffered a concussion.” Bryan smiled at the memory

“Did everything turn out ok?” Ash asked.

“Yeah. My attorney won the case. He claimed she hit her head too hard on a headboard when we were banging out. Judge Judy is easy to fool. Her and the jury that didn’t pay attention. Strangely enough I happened to be in the jury the same day the case was.” Bryan explained.

“I knew it!” the girl he hit with the bowling ball long ago shouted, appearing there in the hall.

Bryan panicked and threw the basketball at her head and knocked her out.

“What the hell did you do that for?!” Ash was stunned at what he just witnessed.

“Don’t worry. I have plenty of more basketballs.” Bryan said, pointing to the cluster of balls on the ground. Then he leaned into Ash and whispered “I stole them from the high school’s basketball team.”

“No. why did you knock that girl out?” Ash asked him.

“Relax, you didn’t see anything. If anyone asks, she and I had sex and she hit her head again.” Bryan winked at his friend. “Now let’s go to the park.” he grabbed Ash by the arm and pulled him to the park.

The two were now at the park, both wearing regular solid color jerseys and gym shorts. Bryan wore all blue, while Ash had a green jersey and red shorts.

Bryan was missing easy lay ups at the moment, while Ash stood at the free throw line with his arms crossed. Get in there, bitch…yeah! I’m a natural Dwayne Wade.” he smiled after making his first of eleven lay up attempts. “You look worried, dude. What’s up?”

“I left Pikachu home alone. The door’s unlocked. The water’s running.” Ash panicked.

“Relax. Everything’s fine. Lots of people imagine that kind of stuff, but it never turns out to be what they expected. Never. I must have gotten that line from Final Destination 3 or something.” Bryan explained.

“Well. Ok.” Ash put on a smile.

Meanwhile back at Ash’s apartment, Team Rocket is inside, kidnapping Pikachu. He was inside a rubber balloon. “Stupid twerp. This should teach him not to leave the door unlocked.” Jessie evilly smirked.

“Can we take some of their food, too?” James asked.

“SOME? Take it all.” she ordered.

“Hurry up. That knocked out goil out der might wake up any second.” Meowth reminded them. They quickly gathered up the food and left the place with Pikachu and the food. And the sink overflowing and spilling out onto the carpet.

“Let’s gather up a team.” Bryan spun the basketball on his index finger for less than a second. “Who wants to play with us?!”

A bunch of scrawny and geeky looking guys lined up on the court. “You have first pick, Ash.” Bryan tossed him the ball.

“Um…the tall one.” Ash picked, and the tall geek(about a few inches taller than him) stepped next to Ash.

Behind the guys, a very tall man was walking by. “Hey Shaq. Want to be on my team?” Bryan asked him.

The 7’1 beast walked over to Bryan “Sure. Here, have an Icy Hot Patch.”

The picking pattern continued as Ash got a geek, and Bryan got lucky and got a professional NBA player each time. On Bryan’s team, he had Shaquille O’Neal, Manu Ginobili, Vince Carter, Steve Nash, and Lebron James.

“Who are all these guys?” Ash asked.

“Pff. You need to watch ESPN.” Bryan grabbed the ball from Ash’s hands.

“Or a Sprite commercial.” Lebron James added.

And so the game began. Naturally Ash’s team couldn’t do anything against all the great NBA players. The Diesel, the next Michael Jordan, and the back to back MVP were making a mockery out of Ash’s geeks.

Ash noticed that Bryan was not in the game anymore. He saw him on the sidelines, drinking Gatorade, and talking to girls. “Yep. I own all five of those players. I’ll be coaching at the 2008 Olympics as well.” Bryan bragged or lied. The girls were impressed none the less.

Ash gritted his teeth in anger. But that all ended when he took an elbow to the gut by Shaq on accident. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a diesel.” he held his side.

“Here. Take this Icy Hot Patch to relax the pain away.” Shaq handed him the patch. But then everything went dark for Ash.

Several hours later it’s still dark for Ash, but he can hear the loud sound of some kind of drill working close to him. He opens his eyes slowly. To find a man in white, using a drill in his mouth.

Ash jerked his head away from the drill. “Hey what’s going on? Shouldn’t I be in a ospital?” Ash asked, while spitting, and mumbling his words because of the numbness.

“Doctor Stern thought you could stand to lose your bad breath. And we discovered quite a few eight cavities. How often do you brush in a day?” the dentist asked him.

“But I feel pain in my omach.” Ash mumbled, while placing a hand on his stomach.

“You’ll feel more pain later. I accidentally drilled you in the inside of your cheek earlier.” the dentist blushed while putting a hand with the drill behind his head, and sounded it off for a second. Ash angrily sighed.

Soon Ash was in a hospital room, wearing a gown. “Hello, Ash. I have your results here. And you have a damaged liver. Have you been drinking?” Dr. Stern asked him. Dr. Stern wore thick sun glasses and had long curly hair, and looked like he was a rocker from the 60’s or 70’s. He also spoke with a very deep voice, perfect for radio

“No. Shaquille O’Neal elbowed me in the gut during a game of basketball at the park.” Ash said, holding his side.

“O. well the drinking problem would also have explained the brain cells you have, or rather don’t have.” Stern said, looking at the notes he had.

“How bad is my liver ?” Ash asked, and grunted.

“Pretty bad-now anyways, which park did you go to?” the doctor asked, getting ready to write down the location.

Ash sighed. “Party Park.”

“Oh yeah. That park has a wall ball court. Want to play some time.” his doctor asked with a smile.

“No.”

“Are you sure. This is your last opportunity to play with me. I’ll be moving to ‘Sirius Hospital’ soon. It’s a much better and more expensive hospital.” Stern explained.

“Thanks, but I’ve got enough play mates.” Ash replied.

About two hours later, Ash was finally out of the hospital and standing at the front door of his apartment. He was shocked at what he was looking at. He stood there with his hands on his head, his jaw dropped, and wide eyes. The place was flooded with water, but the problem was going out the door a little as the water flowed out the door.

He walked to the fridge and opened it to find no food inside. “I told you that you left the water running.” Bryan’s voice suddenly pierced the air.

“YOU!” Ash turned around and pointed at his neighbor, his hand shaking in serious anger

“That’s me. I dropped by earlier and would of turned off the faucet, but I thought you were cleaning the place.” Bryan explained.

“Thanks to you I might have to have surgery.” Ash criticized, while holding his side again

“Well thanks to you we didn’t get to finish the game earlier. Manu Ginobili got mad and kneed me in the go-nads.” Bryan said, rubbing his crotch.

“Get out.” Ash pointed to the door, while water continued flowing from the sink and out the door.

“Want to know something interesting?” Bryan asked.

“No!”

“Okay. Well there’s a woman in India whose 120 years old. She was born in 1888 and lives in a hut with her 72 year old son and 92 year old daughter.” Bryan alerted him.

“Really?” Ash asked, surprised.

“Yeah. She says her secret is smoking crack and drinking wine everyday.” Bryan continued on.

“Cool. Get out!” Ash stomped the ground, sending water into the air.

After about an hour of cleaning, Ash was sitting in a lazy boy recliner. There were towels all over the floor, soaking up the water. “If only we had a hundred sponges. But no, Brock wanted to use our money on soap and tooth paste.” Ash said, examining the towel covered floor. His conversation with himself was interrupted by a knock at the door.

When he opened it, there was a cop standing there with a very tall man, standing behind him. “Is this the man you described to us earlier?”

“Uh…uh…” Ash wasn’t sure what he should say. He could let a very tall and talented basketball player go to jail, or just confess everything to the cop right then.

“The man that attacked you? Amare Stoudemire? Knick named Stat.” the cop tried to revive Ash’s memory.

“Yeah, looks like it.” Ash responded, nervously.

“Your going to jail, Amare. We need no further evidence.” the cop placed hand cuffs on him.

“No. I have a game tomorrow. I’m supposed to be baaaack!” Amare pleaded as he was dragged down the wet hall.

Ash closed the door and turned around to get back to the lazy boy. But he noticed a wet spot not covered up. “Hey Pikachu. Could you get me some more towel?” Ash asked, but got no response. He quickly started searching for his pokemon. But he couldn’t find him.

He ran out of his apartment and across the hall to Bryan’s place and knocked on his door. Bryan opened it, wearing nothing but white briefs. “What do you want, I’m trying to sun bathe under a reading lamp.”

“Bryan. Pikachu is missing.” Ash said, with fear in his voice.

“Oh my god. So is Raichu.” Bryan panicked. He turned around and saw Raichu sitting on a chair. “Oh wait. There he is. Sorry. I’m not interested in a rescue mission.” he shut the door and went back to lamp bathing.

Ash decided to take this to the next level and went to the police station to file a report. “So what color is your pikachu?” the cop asked, typing on a type writer.

“Yellow.” Ash replied.

“I like that song ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay. They say you have to be a girl to like them, but nah, I like em.” the cop said, now thinking about the band now.

“Yeah so, are you gonna do anything?” Ash asked.

“Mmm, I don’t think so. We have more important things to do. Didn’t you see the movie, ‘Homeward Bound: the incredible journey?’ We have murderers to deal with, like Zodiac. Just hire a pet detective or something.” the cop suggested, and pushed his type writer aside.

“Pff. You guys are worse than L.A.P.D.” Ash got off the char and stormed out of the station

He decided to take this into his own hands and went home to print out his own ‘missing’ posters. The photo of Pikachu showed him licking his crotch, and it described him as loving ketchup. The reward was worth $5,000.

“I’m comin to the rescue, buddy!” he shouted, holding the stack of posters in his hands, and went out to hang them up over town.

Coming to the rescue!
Get there in a hurry!
Rescue...
Baby, don't you worry!
Rescue...
This adventure's heatin' up!
I'll rescue you...
And if I do...
You gotta rescue me!

So if you're lost...
One thing is true...
Never gonna stop...
Looking for you!
You're not alone...
So have no doubt...
We'll put our heads together...
Gonna figure it out!

Oh!
Baby, listen to me!
We're gonna...gonna...
Set you free!


Coming to the rescue!
Get there in a hurry!
Rescue...
Baby, don't you worry!
Rescue...
This adventure's heatin' up!
I'll rescue you...
And if I do...
You gotta rescue me!
(‘Coming to the rescue’ by O-Town)

“It’s a small town. Someone has to have seen Pikachu.” Ash said after hanging up all the posters, and leaning on a pole, exhausted. The song, ‘Coming to the rescue’ started playing again, but this time it was because it’s Ash’s cell phone ring tone. He took it out of his pocket and read who was calling. It was ‘GURLfriend.’

“Hey, baby. What’s up?” Ash asked.

“You can’t bull it off yet, Ash. When you say ‘baby’ you say it in baby talk. Make it sound more sexy.” Misty said over the line.

“Sorry. What did you want?” Ash asked.

“I wanted to remind you we have no money so don’t get involved in any gambles or reward posters.” she told him.

Ash looked at a poster he just put on the pole he was leaning on, the poster for $5,000. “Crap.” he hit his head against the pole in frustration.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Misty asked.

“Nothing. I gotta go crap. Bye.” he quickly hung up and headed to his new destination.

A building with a sign that reads ‘Loaners’ is now in our view. A dead bumb was lying outside on the steps. “How much cash do you need?” the loaner asked, typing on his type writer.

“Doesn’t anyone have a computer? It’s 2006 for Christ’s sake. And it’s 2007 in the time this story is actually being written.” Ash pointed out.

“Do you have a computer?” the man asked.

“Well…no.” Ash replied.

“Then shut the hell up and tell me how much money you need.”

“ten thousand twenty nine dollars and ninety five cents.” Ash responded.

“Ok. And we charge 60 percent interest.” the loaner told him.

“The sign says you charge interest free.” he points back to the company’s slogan on the wall with his thumb.

“That’s just a business ply. Now before I can give you the cash, you have to tell me why you need it.” the man told him.

Ash sighed. “Ok. I was left home alone while my girlfriend and her friend went to their home town’s to get their stuff. My neighbor then forces me to go to the park with him or he’ll sue. His lawyer is Ann Coulter and you can sue for anything these days. Anyways. When we got to the park, we played basketball. My neighbor, Bryan had all NBA players who just magically showed up on his team. Shaquille O’Neal later elbowed me in the liver area, causing me to be hospitalized and have to have surgery. I was also dentist-ized and had to have cavities. When I got home it turned out I left the water running and the door unlocked and my Pikachu was stolen. I put up missing posters for him with a $5,000 reward. The rest is for my daily psychic reading, water damage repair, my surgery, the dentist bill. And my vision is a little blurred, so I’m gonna have laser eye surgery.” Ash explained.

“Your lucky this is a cheap town.” the loaner said, and handed him a $10,000 $ sack. To which Ash angrily took it from him.

Minutes later, our struggling hero walked down the street with the sack. “I better go put this in the bank.” he said, while turning on to ‘Dark Alley Street.’

It wasn’t long before he was approached by a man with sunglasses and a ski cap. “Give me your sack, fool.” the thug demanded.

“What? No way, I’m gonna fight back.” Ash refused.

“Can’t kick me in the crotch though. Wouldn’t be original, seeing as how they already did that on King of the Hill.” the thug reminded him.

“Yeah, well Neo Namco and I aren’t very original.” Ash said, and kicked the guy in the man area.

The man started screaming in pain, when he stopped on a dime in the middle of it “Just kidding. I’m wearing a cup. Not a real one, a drinking cup, but just the same.” the guy told him.

Ash turned to run away with his sack of money. The robber chased him, his fists raised in the air. Things would soon be crashing to a halt as someone placed a stool on the side walk where the two were running.

Ash didn’t see the stool and tripped over it. He went flying to the ground, and the sack of money went flying into an open man hole. “Now look what you made me do. It fell down the man hole.” Ash yelled at the thief.

“They should really call it a woman hole.” the thug joked.

“And you should go into comedy.” Ash said sarcastically.

“Sounds like your having a bad day.” the thug said.

“No way. It’s a good day. A beautiful day. I had the house to my self today and…hmm.” Ash became sad, realizing that the criminal was right.

“Think about it, hero. I mean kid. I just watched Spider Man today, so some of it’s lines are in my head.” the thief said and walked away.

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Ash walked down the street, with his hands in his pockets, sulking. He went from sulking to soaking soon when he stepped into a waist deep puddle of water. “Err!”

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

He continued to walk the streets, when he felt a prick in his right leg. He cried out in pain and looked over to see a buff guy with a syringe. “Oh real mature, Jose Canseco.” Ash said, angrily.

“I love steroids.” Jose said as he ran off.

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

Once again his walking was put to a stop as a group of people ran up to him with brooms and started whacking him with them. “Ha ha. You got swept by Gary.” one of them teased.

“I can’t believe it. I’m having a bad day.” he said, a tear running down his cheek.

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(‘Bad Day’ by Daniel Powter)

‘Now I knew how Woody in Toy Story felt. I was having the worst day of my life. And the worst part is it wasn’t over yet. All I wanted was to go to bed and die for awhile.’ he narrated.

“Maybe American Idol can cheer me up by seeing people eliminated from the show.” he thought, as he was walking home, kicking an empty RC cola can.

“I can always blame my problems on that nasty RC company.” he said as he continued to kick the can. On his next kick however, something valuable rolled out. It was a diamond.

“Holy S! is that a diamond?” he asked himself, and leaned down to pick it up. But he wasn’t fast enough, as someone in a very expensive suit grabbed it first.

“Bill Gates? You don’t need that. You’re the richest man in the world.” Ash complained.

“I got here first.” he said, and broke out his jet back and flew away.

“Sure. Steal my diamond, just like you stole the idea for Microsoft!” Ash shouted as the rich guy flew away.

Suddenly a young boy runs up to him with a cell phone. “Hey Mister, you dropped your phone back there.” the kid handed him the phone.

Ash looked at the wall paper for the phone, it showed a pink sea shell.

“Thanks, kid.” Ash polished up the phone with his shirt.

“It’s a little broken now. The reception is kind of bad.” the boy said.

“How do you know?” Ash asked him.

“I answered your call. Some old guy is on the line.” the boy pointed to the phone.

“Hello?” Ash answered.

“Hi, Ash. This is Oak speaking.” Oak spoke.

“Hey!” Ash yelled, while putting a hand on his head. He realized that the boy stole his hat.

“Yoink!” the boy ran off wearing it. Ash held the phone to his ear while chasing the boy at the same time.

“What do you want, Professor?” Ash asked.

“I wanted to tell you some good news.”

“Really?”

“Whoops. I meant bad news. Tracy just told me good news about our pizza arriving, and I mixed them up. I have bad news for you though.” Sam said. Ash sighed. “Apparently whoever it was that offered me the apartment your living in for me, doesn’t like the fact that your living there when I should be living there.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So they want to offer it to Professor Bill Maple instead. Unless your willing to find a job and pay for your place to stay.” the professor explained.

“Oh. I see.”

“Oh but I do have some other news to tell you.” Oak continued.

“Yeah?” Ash was hoping it was good.

“Your mother turned your old child hood room into a gym.”

“What? How could she do that?!” Ash was irate.

“I’m just kidding. That’s the oldest used sitcom joke ever. She really turned it into Mr. Mime’s room. chow.” and with that, Sam hung up.

Ash murmured, and put the phone into his pocket. But not looking where he was going, he ran into a scare crow with Danny Devito’s face as a head. The phone flew from his pocket and landed down a man hole. “Fudge!”

He noticed a man in a suit standing near by, with a badge that read ‘Censor’ on it. “Damn censors.” Ash complained about the fanfic censor.

Eventually Ash finally made it to the apartments. He went to the playground and sat on one of the swings.

Bryan was there too, he slid down the slide and landed in the sand. “Look at me. I’m making a sand castle.” he said, performing the action you’d use to make a snow angel. “Oh hey, Ash. I didn’t know you were a child.” Bryan said, noticing him on the swing set.

“And I you.” Ash replied.

“I’m just practicing for the upcoming slide competition in a week from now.” Bryan explained. “You gonna enter the swing tournament? If you do, don’t bet everything you have on it.” Bryan advised, and started cracking up.

“I don’t have anything to bet anyways.” Ash kicked the sand in anger.

“I know what would cheer you up.”

“Money.” Ash said immediately.

“I’m gonna tell you how I came to Sheasy Town. I like to call it ‘She easy’ town.” he laughed. “And ‘Sleazy town’ too.” he laughed some more.

“Just tell me the story already.” Ash said, not too thrilled.

“I tell you what. I’ll rap you my story.” and the beat of the theme song to ‘The Fresh Prince’ started playing, as he rapped.

“Now this is a story all about how my life got screwed up from clowning around. And I’d like to take an hour, I promise it aint cheesy. I’ll tell you how I got dragged to a town called ‘Sheasy.’” he sang, while dancing in the sand.

“In Lavender Town I was born and raised. Though Texas is where I spent most of my days. Getting hot ‘n sticky, giant spiders, rats and stuff everywhere, when one day I shot them all with my AK47 and my uncle said ‘get the hell out of this state you trouble maker.’ I told him ‘screw you dude, I aint gonna care about leaving this place’ so I left on my way took my game boy as well, and etcetera.” Bryan finished, panting heavily.

“Great story. I gotta go.” Ash said, not too thrilled, and got up off the swing.

“Hey, do you want to come over to my house tonight and watch the unrated version of ‘American Pie?’ Bryan asked him.

“No.” Ash walked to his apartment.

“Are you sure. Guys trying to lose their virginity, Nadia gets nude, one guy does a pie.” Bryan continued, trying to persuade him. Ash didn’t reply, he continued walking till he was out of sight.

He walked up stairs to his apartment. He unlocked his door and walked in. another sigh escaped his mouth. “I’m getting tired of sigh-ing.” he said and sighed again.

“That you, Ashy?” the familiar female voice of “Misty?” Ash asked.

She walked into the room, wearing a two piece bathing suite of whipped cream. “Come get your pie.” she said seductive.

“What flavor are you?” he asked, taking a fork out from behind his pants, and started to drool. His question followed with her giggling, and that giggle followed with him snapping back into reality.

“Ash, your drooling.” she told him.

“Oh.” he wiped it off.

“Do we have any pie?” Ash asked, talking about the food.

“Yep. I just went shopping and got all kinds of pie.” Misty opened the fridge to reveal it full of food.

Ash smiled and then sighed. “Mist…I have a lot of upsetting news to tell you.” he said, his heartbeat picking up from fear.

“Oh. Hold that thought.” Misty went into her room and came back out with the money sack with Ash’s name on it.

She opened it, and Pikachu jumped out. “Pikachu!” Pikachu shouted, excitedly, as he landed into Ash’s arms.

“Hey, buddy. Ha ha.” Ash hugged his pokemon tightly.

“I’ve also got your cell phone and your hat.” she pulled them out and placed the hat on his head.

Ash’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh was the bad news you wanted to tell me?” Misty asked.

“…I’m your boyfriend.” Ash told her, and wiped a tear away.

“Oh, I’m making your favorite meal tonight…everything in the fridge.” she said, and poked his stomach.

Ash couldn’t keep his emotion under control anymore. He grabbed and hugged her as tight as he ever has. “How did you get all this stuff?” he asked.

“Do you really want to know? Or do you want to make out with me?” Misty asked him, seductively.

‘It’s not my whipped cream fantasy, but it’s close enough.’ he thought. “I’m tired of interesting stories. Let’s kiss.”

“And so they did. The end.” Neo Namco closes a book, sitting in a recliner in a fancy room.

“What? You don’t want to read that do you? Well…all right.” Neo Namco played the clip.

Ash and Misty were kissing passionately until they dropped to the floor, making out very hard.

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town


You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

“Hi, Neo Namco again. Just because Ash didn’t know how Misty got all his stuff back, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know. So let’s show you those clips.”

Misty is planting a well executed bomb in the forest. Team Rocket is sitting on a picnic blanket, enjoying their meal. Pikachu was in a cage quite a ways away from them. The bomb blows up and sends team rocket blasting off, Misty breaks open Pikachu’s cage with a crow bar

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town

Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

Misty is now in the sewer, riding her Corsola through the water. She held a fishing net to the side, catching Ash’s cell phone and money sack inside.

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

And finally Misty threatened the boy who stole Ash’s hat with a pistol to return it. The boy did as ordered and handed it to her.

‘It truly was a beautiful day in the end. Things didn’t start out that great, but when you have a girlfriend that’s willing to do anything for you, well that’s true love. Love that probably doesn’t exist anywhere else. I’m a lucky guy, and some day I hope to make Misty a lucky girl. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to accomplish it, but I’ll try. She deserves it.’

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
(‘Beautiful Day’ by U2)