Tonight I got my heart broken again. For around the 50th time I guess I have this sick and strange feeling that she like this other guy from la salle. I really do. I am sick in the head. The way that you think pyschopaths and rapists usually are and maybe I'm one of them. On second thought Fuck No. I am not that confident at all. Ash is still this shy little that cares about what people think of him. And Brock was right. There is such a thing as a imaginary audience. I think everyone is looking at me. Well maybe but I am one fucked up little asshole. Shit. Weed had better come in an abundant supply. Also to be honest. I really do think I’m cursed. Every single girl I have ever like after Micah has either found someone else. Or they will be able to. Look at Nikki and Mau and Forest’s current girlfriend and Angelique and possibly Misty. It’s really painful seeing all of these fine women being swept away be the man of their dreams. Or in all honesty. Men that are a hundred times better than I will ever be. It’s really painful for this to me happen. I haz wrong grammer. Anyway. They may be better off with those guys as I am the worst possible thing out there. Even my one and only ex said. “My first relationship was with Ash and it was crap.” HAHA. I know it was unavoidable that she would say that but. It hurts. Those words pretty much make want to give up trying. Also another thing. My parents. These people may have also scarred me from ever wanting to be married. Their retarded fights and its obvious that because of us 3 children. Their relationship died. And to be honest. Me and Misty have more interesting conversations than that. And I don’t want something that I love turn into that Over reacting and bitchy thing That I call my mom. Also Fuck you Micah Stevenson. I was confident and stupid. You broke my heart and made me realize that I’m a Boring and disappointing little mess. I am not interesting at all. And I cannot talk with women at all. I used to think that you were a bitch. I realized that you were right. I was a dumbass. To. Evryone. I cannot do this. Films and songs have taught me about that wonderful feeling called love. But sadly All of that shit is alien to me now. I wish I could just commit suicide now.