The Ditto Dilemma

by phantomditto Disclaimer: phantomditto does not claim ownership to Pokemon, or any of its characters. Even if he really wishes he did,
so he could buy some video games. Oh well.
Rating: PG, for some risque material and general meanness by phantomditto ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: We find out where the author got his name, and how it relates to the story.
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A namesake, as you may know, is someone whom you are named after, and often the person after whom you're named is absolutely nothing like you. For instance, the real phantomditto (The one described in this story) thought vanilla ice cream was disgusting, but I'll eat it any chance I get. This is why I haven't (and hope to never be) been put in a high-security Master Ball and guarded around the clock.

All this happened years ago, back when we didn't even know Johto existed, and when Ash Ketchum had just left Cerulean City. Yes, he had learned Misty's true identity, and he did like it, and this is an AAMRN, but most of the story has them at each others' throats. Not in a good way, either. I suggest you go read something else if you don't have the stomach to deal with an out-of-date map, a recurring Diglett, a malicious phantom Ditto, an oversized mallet, the bombing of a Pokemon Center, and some very nasty Magikarp-flavoured ice cream. This is your last chance to hit the Back Button and go read something happier. No? Okay, I warned you.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2: Enter Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu, Togepi, and the Ditto that caused all the trouble.
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This fanfic starts off (as so many fanfics do) with Ash, Misty, and Brock, and Pikachu, AND Togepi, being horribly lost. They had just been to Cerulean City, and Misty was quite embarassed because Ash knew what her real identity was.

"Now where are we supposed to be going again, Brock?" Misty asked. She had been about to ask Ash, but decided not to, so she wouldn't get any dumb cracks from him. 'After all,' she thought, 'that's all he would say, right?'

"We're heading to Vermilion City to attend a seminar suggested by Professor Oak," Brock replied. "Hopefully we'll be there before sundown on Wednesday, and it starts on Friday." Today was Monday.

"Isn't that kind of a short deadline?" asked Ash. "I was hoping we could take a day off so I could catch a few more Pokemon."

"Well Ash," said Brock, "there's supposed to be a good spot right outside of Vermilion, so maybe you could go out there at night."

Now going out at night is generally not a good prospect, especially if you're alone with only a few Pokemon. If I were Ash then I probably would just wait until after the seminar and then go out with my friends. But I'm not, so he gets to decide.

"OK, that's a good idea. Now let's get going." Ash replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3- The last chapter in this section and the reason for the troubles of Ash & co.
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*THREE DAYS LATER* As the seminar wore on, Ash grew more and more restless as he thought of the time he was "wasting". So that night he got up without letting Misty or Brock hear him, and he thanked his lucky stars that this was a hotel and not a Pokemon Center, where he would get caught for breaking curfew.

As he clipped on his Pokemon belt, he studied Misty's face in the darkness.
'Such a pretty face, especially asleep,' he thought, but he turned away and left the hotel.

Now if you've ever snuck out of a hotel away from your friends to go catch nocturnal Pokemon, you'll know how Ash felt as he walked to the place circled on Brock's map. It seemed like something was watching him over his shoulder, and unfortunately, something was.

When he reached the area, he woke up Pikachu from its hiding place in his bag and told it, "Now let's find some Pokemon!" They started walking when Ash tripped over something and yelled.

"What was that? Pikachu?" He got up and looked at what he had tripped over. It seemed to be a person, but unconscious. He looked at it and wondered what to do for a second. He decided, (being the protagonist) to take the person back to the hotel to figure out what to do. As he retraced his steps, the person seemed to be stirring, so he set him down and began gathering wood for a fire, with Pikachu's help.

"Where... where am I?" the person gasped.

"Pika pii! Chuu!" yelled Pikachu, and started charging up for a Thundershock.

"Wha... DITTO! TRANSFORM!" the person yelled, and seemingly out of nowhere, a Ditto appeared, transformed into a Pikachu, and used "Quick Attack", and transformed back into a Ditto.

"Pikachu, why did you attack him?" asked Ash, obviously wondering what was going on. Pikachu looked up at him angrily, and replied, "Pika. Chuuu, pichu pika!", which, for the sake of the audience and dramatic irony, could be translated into:


"Because he's no human! He's a pokemon!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APPLAUSE
Now I hope you're completely confused, and have many questions, but remember, this is the first chapter, and the story will get much worse and much smellier before we're done, mainly due to the Magikarp-flavored ice cream. If you have any flames, comments, or ideas, send them to phantomditto@yahoo.com . That's it for now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~