Forever Innocence

“So the Sandshrew and the Chikorita stopped fighting and played in the sunshine for the rest of the day. The end,” four-year-old Roxanne Parkington concluded before setting one of the many Pokemon picture books she owned aside. It had been another great day; the Starmie baseball team had defeated the Magikarps 32-27 and the long, hot ride back to New Bark Town from Blackthorn City was bearable if you had your favorite ice cream to eat. Anastasia, Roxy’s seven-year-old sister, was coming home from boarding school for the summer very soon, her fifth birthday was approaching rapidly, and Daddy didn’t have to go on any more trips for a long time. Nothing could spoil this perfect summer, absolutely nothing…

“Hi, Roxy,” came the soft voice of her father, Jonathan, as he stepped into the room to say goodnight. Roxy straightened up in bed; saying goodnight to her father always comforted the little girl before she fell asleep. “Were you reading again?” he asked teasingly, running a tan hand through his daughter’s long blond hair, hair so much like his own.

“Yeah,” Roxy grinned in reply. “I couldn’t help it.” An uneasy silence fell between them as she studied her father; he wasn’t as happy as usual. Was he sick? Roxy didn’t bother asking; he would tell her if he wanted to. He kneeled down at her beside until his eyes met hers, his dark blue eyes reflecting her curious, blue-green ones. “Daddy, are you okay?”

“Listen, Roxy, I…I have to go to the Orange Islands again tonight.” A strange sensation was creeping through Roxy’s chest as those fateful words fell on her ears. It couldn’t be, Daddy had said just that morning at the baseball game that he wasn’t leaving her and Mommy! She gulped and suddenly it was very hard to talk.

“But why?” Roxy managed to choke out. “You always leave! Don’t you love Mommy and me? Don’t you care, don’t you-” Daddy couldn’t go to the Orange Islands, not now, not this soon… Jonathan could already see that his little girl was getting very upset, so he swiftly placed a hand over her mouth to quiet her. He was going to be back anyway, she had no reason at all to worry.

“I know, sweetie, but it’s my job. Hey, I’ll be back for your birthday,” Jonathan said with a cheerful grin as he veered topics. “Anastasia will be home by then as well.”

“That’ll be fun, I miss Annie ever since she went to school,” Roxy answered, snuggling deeper under the covers. Now she didn’t want to stop talking, knowing that she wouldn’t see her daddy again for the next two weeks or so. “Will the Starmies have a game on my birthday? I want to go!”

“No, sweetie, I’ve got something even better planned,” Jonathan smiled, knowing that his little girl was too carried away to be worried about his departure. “After Mommy, you, and me have cake, we’re going to Professor Elm’s lab to get a Pokemon for our family. You can’t have one until you’re ten years old,” he said, holding up ten fingers to emphasize his point.

“Really?” Roxy asked. “Yeah!” After her outburst, a long silence fell between father and daughter. Jonathan checked his wristwatch; it was 8:30 PM and nearly time for him to catch the boat to the Orange Islands. He looked down at his youngest daughter, a thoughtful, distant smile upon his face. Just as quickly, the smile disappeared and he became serious again.

“I have to go now, Roxy. Goodnight,” he said quietly, then walked out of the room, the door closing with a resounding thud. Roxy stared at her bedroom door for a long time, then pulled the sheets up to her chin.

“Goodnight, Daddy, I love you…very much,” she whispered softly.

~

Life went on for Roxy; the only difference was that Jonathan wasn’t there. After a lunch of peanut butter sandwiches, she would go outside into the front yard and play with Zoë Hamilton, her next-door-neighbor and playmate. It was during the next two weeks that Roxy learned to climb trees. It was easy to fall down and get the wind knocked out of you, but that only strengthened her resolve to carry on and get to the top of the tree.

“You never give up, do you?” Sabrina asked one day as they sat in the kitchen eating lunch. “I saw you climb yesterday, you’re just like a little Mankey.”

“Climbing trees are fun because then no one can catch you,” Roxy answered cheerfully, pausing to take a sip of milk. “Zoë ‘s faster than me, but I don’t care.” All too soon, she was running out the door again, dreams of becoming a Pokemon trainer racing through her mind. What would she start with when she was a big girl? She enjoyed thinking about it, but that could wait. All that mattered was beating Zoë to the top of that tree. For Roxy, her world was one of imagination, dreams, her friends, and Pokemon. What could be better?

Little did she know that the innocence she knew was soon to end.

~

The beginning of the end began on July 23, Roxy’s birthday. It was gray outside and threatened rain, but she didn’t care; Daddy was coming home and they were going to get a suitable family Pokemon just as he had said. Now, after bounding down the stairs, the little girl was standing next to her mother as she watched her begin to bake a chocolate birthday cake just for her.

“You’re going to make it with buttercream icing, right?” Roxy asked excitedly, bouncing up and down on the soles of her small feet.

“The very best for my little girl,” Sabrina answered, embracing Roxy in the safety of her arms. “Now you go on and wait for Daddy; I can’t very well be his welcoming committee if I’m baking a cake, can I?”

“No, you’d be all sticky and sweet!” Roxy answered, dashing to the dining room window and staring out at the deserted street. Daddy would come home in his slick blue car and she would come running out to greet him. He would meet her halfway, scoop her into his arms, and then he would come inside to tell Mommy that he was home. Mommy would pull off her apron and then they would go to Professor Elm’s lab and get a Pokemon for the family. Boy, wouldn’t Anastasia be surprised!

The arrival of Officer Jenny’s police car startled the little girl from her reverie. Had Daddy’s car broken down? Maybe Officer Jenny was nice enough to offer him a ride here to the house. Roxy didn’t stop to ponder, didn’t stop to think. She pulled open the front door as the doorbell resounded through the house.

“Daddy!” Roxy exclaimed, expecting to be lifted into the loving arms of her father. The warm embrace never came, and instead she found herself staring into Officer Jenny’s grave gray eyes. “You’re not Daddy, where is he?” she asked, her eyes filled with tears. Sabrina heard Roxy’s sniffling from the kitchen and came to see what was going on, her apron still tied around her waist.

“Is something wrong, Jenny?” she asked, pressing Roxy to her leg. The little girl couldn’t comprehend this; what happened to Daddy? This was her birthday, a day when they were all going to be together… It was a trick, he was kidding, he couldn’t…

Then the words left Jenny’s lips, words that made her mommy cry and words Roxy didn’t understand at all. “ Sabrina, I have some terrible news…”

~

“No, Mommy, I don’t want to!” Roxy exclaimed, stamping her little foot in childish defiance.

“Please, sweetie? It will only be for a few hours and then you can take it off,” Sabrina protested, kneeling on the floor of Roxy’s room. The subject of their argument was a sky blue dress that Sabrina wanted Roxy to wear a week later on the day of Jonathan’s memorial service. His body had been recovered in the Orange Islands and since he had always wanted to be buried there, his body could not be sent back to Johto. Out of respect and a never-ending love for her husband, Sabrina was holding a memorial service on the outskirts of town. New Bark was a place where everyone knew everyone and the entire town was going to be there.

“No, I don’t want to! It’s itchy, icky, and it’s frilly!” Roxy answered, her chin high.

“You’re going to wear it, Roxanne Nicole, if I have to force you into it. Please…just put it on,” Sabrina answered with a sigh.

“Okay.” Roxy finally gave in and allowed Sabrina to help her into the dress, although she still winced as Sabrina slipped the dress over her head. As a final touch, Sabrina added a dark blue bow in her daughter’s hair. Roxy was left alone while Mommy went downstairs to make the final touches on the house; it was natural for them to hold a reception afterwards. She sat on the edge of her small bed, just as confused as she was on her birthday. Daddy had always been the type to play jokes on Mommy; maybe this one was one of them. Then again, he always hated it whenever she cried…

Feeling tears prick in her own eyes, Roxy stared at a framed portrait of the four of them: Daddy, Mommy, Anastasia, and her. They were so happy back then and now Daddy was gone… She hugged the picture close, managed a sigh, and left the room.

The framed photograph still lay on Roxy’s bed, frozen smiles in time.

~

Once the hearse had arrived at the open field, Roxy made a point of separating herself from the adults by dashing up the nearest hill. Who cared whether the dress got messy? Her daddy, her role model, was gone and nobody could change that. ‘No, no, he’s just sleeping, he’s kidding, he’ll wake up and everything will be okay…’ She covered her hands over her ears, not listening to the soothing voice of the minister as he spoke of what a great person Jonathan was. It never happened, none of it had happened… She curled her knees to her chest, biting her lip and looking out at the distance just as Mommy came toward her. As Mommy held her close, Roxy’s small body shook with tears.

“He’s g-g-gone, isn’t he?” she sniffed into her mother’s shoulder. “H-He promised me we’d get a Pokemon together and now…he’s gone!”

“I know how you feel, sweetheart, but…we’ll make it through this together,” Sabrina answered soothingly. Roxy sat up, wiping a hand across her wet eyes.

“Promise?” she asked, her face filled with hope. If Mommy was sad too, maybe they could help each other be happy again.

“Promise.”

That simple answer wasn’t enough for Roxy. “Mommy…you love me, don’t you?” It broke Sabrina’s heart to hear such an innocent query; no five-year-old deserved to go through pain as sharp as this. It was one thing to tell Roxy about her father’s death, but when Anastasia came home it would be so much harder…

“I do…and don’t you ever doubt that,” Sabrina answered, rocking her little girl in her arms. Roxy stopped crying after several minutes and looked up into Mommy’s face; she looked very upset.

“Mommy, can you sing that lullaby about the ships that carry you home? It’s real pretty and might make you feel better,” Roxy said finally, no longer crying.

“You’re right, I’ll do that,” Sabrina answered, a bittersweet smile crossing her lips.

“Thank you, Mommy,” Roxy answered, closing her eyes as Mommy sang of ships and the ending of a journey. Roxy interrupted her. “Are the ships carrying Daddy home like in the song?”

This time, Sabrina couldn’t hide her tears. “Yes, honey, but…he already is home,” she said. “Go to sleep now and let me finish; this song makes me happy, too.”

“That’s good,” Roxy mumbled with a faint smile as she fell asleep. Once she was in a deep slumber, Sabrina looked to the sky above with pleading eyes.

“Jonathan, what are we going to do without you here?” A bitter chapter in the Parkington family’s life was ending, but there was always hope for a fresh, new beginning.