She's flirting with me.

Seriously.

Well, maybe it's not such a big deal, but it's weird.

You'd think that after being just friends for years she wouldn't do this kind of stuff, but... yeah.

It's annoying.

I mean, I don't have any interest in her like that. It's just so weird!

I wish she'd stop doing it.

It pisses me off.

Doesn't she get it? I don't like her.

Tomorrow I'm not gonna talk to her at all.

¡@

¡@

Gahh, she did it again!

At lunch we were at the PC.

Even though I wasn't talking, she and Brock were.

About stuff like breeding.

I have to give the guy credit, he's pretty good with Pokemon, even wild ones.

All I ever do now is scare them off.

Anyways, they were talking, and then she looked at me and said,

"Hey, Ash, you haven't said a word all day. Is there something wrong?"

in that stupid voice she uses.

Goddammit there's something wrong!

What? she would ask.

You want to know what's wrong?

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S WRONG?

Her!

She always looks at me like I'm a thing, not a person.

She wants me.

But not in a good way.

Like I'm some kind of toy she wants for Christmas.

And then the day right after she gets me, she'll drop me in the trash can and say, "Oh, you're boring!"

Nice analogy, Ash.

Great. Now I'm talking to myself. See what she did to me?

I'm going crazy!

I just...!

Gahh! She really did do something to my brain!

¡@

¡@

She's still looking at me that way.

Even though she's dating this other guy right now.

It's like she's saying, "Look, all the other guys are falling for me, why don't you?"

Dammit.

I wanna cuss at her.

But that would cause problems.

And I can't tell her straight out that I don't like her.

What a stupid problem she gave me.

Now I really don't like her.

The guy she's dating, he's called Mark.

Nice guy, I guess.

Smart.

Funny.

Pretty nice guy, but dumb to fall for her.

He can't see that she's just playing with him.

But I've known her for years, so I guess you can't really blame him for not being able to tell.

Hope she doesn't shatter his heart.

'Cause he's a nice guy.

¡@

¡@

I think Brock knows about this but just isn't saying anything about it.

Smart of him to do that.

Really, you don't want to hear one of my arguments.

Today she was standing next to me, and she got really close.

Scary.

So I pushed her away.

I bet she thinks that's a sign that I like her.

She's such a bitch.

But she used to be innocent before she discovered she could manipulate guys like this.

Khhhhhhh...

It's so annoying!

I wanna die before I see any more of those innocent guys out there get dumped.

¡@

¡@

She pisses me off so bad.

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Is there such a thing as girl-repellent?

'Cause today she did something again.

Again.

She went even farther this time.

She tried to put her arms around my neck.

Note that I said "tried".

You can guess that she failed.

I found some lousy excuse to run off.

I think I said I needed to piss.

Man, I hate that woman!

¡@

¡@

Brock came up to me today.

He told me, "Ash, just tell her to get a life."

I said, "She'll just say something stupid."

"Then say that her life sucks."

"Like hell it does," I agreed.

"Then tell her."

"No."

"Why?"

"Why don't you?"

"Because I'm not the one she thinks is... y'know..."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't care what she thinks."

"Then tell her to back off."

"Are you kidding? I've never said anything to her like this in my life!"

"This time it's different."

"If you're so confident it'll work, why don't you do it?"

"Because then she won't even listen."

I stormed off.

¡@

¡@

She just keeps trying to get closer to me.

I always feel her trying.

It's freaking me out.

I shudder whenever she touches me.

She thinks I do that because I like it.

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Will that woman never get it?!

¡@

¡@

Today we went back to Cerulean to visit her sisters.

Brock went all googly-eyes again with them, his heart was jumping out of his chest like in cartoons.

I feel sorry for that guy.  -_-

At least he didn't fall for her.

I'm damned glad he didn't.

She acted all happy for one of her sisters (I can't remember which one) because... get this...

Her sister has a boyfriend.

She was faking happiness.

She's jealous.

Somehow I feel sympathy for her, because she's fallen so low.

Because she's so stupid.

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¡@

Today we visited Prof. Oak at his lab, and he has a new assistant named Driandra.

That's a nice name.

She's a little shorter than her, has blond hair, and is quiet.

Not that she's shy or anything, because she can talk a mile a minute.

Just very quietly.

It's like she never learned how to speak up.

You-know-who  acted very jealous of Driandra, as if she was trying to get my attention.

I ignored her and kept talking to Driandra as if I was very interested in her.

Daisy came over eventually and pulled her  away to look at some Water Pokemon they're raising.

I just realized that I owe Daisy big-time.

Eh.

I'll just wait until she brings it up.

¡@

¡@

We stayed at Pallet Town last night and met Gary.

He's one of those Pokemon Champions now.

Ha.

I got to be Champion soooooooooooo long ago.

But now he's not so full of hot air.

He's actually nice to me now.

Unless that means he and Brock are getting together to play a prank on me tomorrow.

Shit.

That can't be good.

See ya tomorrow.

¡@

¡@

I was right, they did the old put-cream-on-his-hand-when-he's-sleeping-then-tickle-his-face trick.

Now my hair smells and tastes like whipped cream.

I had to take an extra-long shower this morning.

But it was funny, I guess.

In a moronic way.

The worst thing about getting whipped cream on me was that she came up to me and told me I smelled good.

I made up another lame excuse to run away.

Oh, did I tell you that Mark dumped her?

That guy rocks.

He is a great guy.

You should've seen the look on her face when he told her he was breaking up.

IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!

For once she knows the feeling of rejection.

AWESOME.......

: P

¡@

¡@

Now she's with Gary.

I hate this.

I'm wondering why my life sucks so bad.

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¡@

Today something happened again.

Gary actually told her he wants to keep their relationship cool.

He doesn't want to get close close or anything.

He's a great guy too.

I never said this before, but GARY IS A GREAT GUY.

But then later I saw her heading towards the bathroom, and she was covering her face like she was crying.

I think that she was acting.

I think.

¡@

¡@

Today she didn't even show up at breakfast at my mom's house.

Yeah, we're staying in Pallet for a while.

She didn't come downstairs at all, just locked her door and didn't say anything when we called her.

I wonder what she's doing.

I wonder if she's crying.

I hope she's all right.

¡@

¡@

I talked with my mom to ask her about girls.

Since she's one of the females herself, anyways.

She said that she was probably just worried that no one likes her.

Girls are very emotional, she told me.

I wonder what she is doing right now.

I hope she isn't crying anymore.

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¡@

Now we're all starting to worry about her.

She hasn't been downstairs ever since that morning.

I hear her cry sometimes, when I pass her door.

We added a new room downstairs, just so she could sleep upstairs.

I haven't heard anything for a while.

Maybe I should just give up.

Maybe she'll never come out.

I'm considering ramming the door down.

I really wanna do it.

Because her f****** mood is making everybody else feel bad.

The frickin' idiot.

I'm going to do it...

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¡@

I actually did ram the door down, and when I finally got in, she was facing the window opposite of the door.

She looked pretty surprised.

I wish I'd had a camera to take a picture of it.

Later I told Brock he shoulda seen her face, it was so effing funny.

He laughed when I described it.

When she turned around, her eyes widened so much I thought she was going into shock.

And then she fainted.

From lack of food and sleep.

Girls sure do weird things.

She has problems.

Issues.

But I don't want to ask her about them.

I think... I should just... leave her alone for a while.

¡@

¡@

She finally ate again.

I was starting to get worried she'd die.

Not that I really care, just that having a person dying in my house is freaky.

You know, ghosts and stuff.

Not that I believe in them...

Gary came over and brought some flowers for her.

For the first time in days she smiled and laughed.

Then she got a good whiff of the Stynk Berry we put in there.

And then we all laughed.

It felt kinda good seeing her happy again.

She isn't hanging around me so much anymore.

It's kind of a relief, I guess.

¡@

¡@

Today I saw her alone, sitting next to the pond.

She looked really peaceful, just sitting there, the wind blowing gently through her hair.

She's wearing more clothes that cover up more of her skin now.

That's a relief, too.

¡@

¡@

Tonight before dinner, she stood up and said she wanted to say something.

She told us that when she'd been going from guy to guy, she'd always felt empty inside.

Like there was a hole in her.

She said that no matter how much those guys showed her affection, she didn't feel any different.

And then she tried flirting with me.

She said that at first it looked like I that I liked her.

But then she saw that I was pulling back from her because I was disgusted with what she'd become.

When she realized that, she also realized that she was dirty.

Filthy.

Foul.

So she got all depressed and locked herself up in her room for three days, only drinking water.

She believed, she told us, that she wasn't worth anything, that no one loved her, even just as a friend.

Then I rammed the door down.

It changed her, once and for all, to see how much her friends really cared.

From then on she felt that it was her duty to make up to us all the stuff she'd done.

And she'd decided to wear modest clothes that didn't show anything... important.

Then she asked for our forgiveness, and we all said we did.

That's a BIG relief.

I'm glad for her.

I'm glad she has a guy like Gary, I guess.

Even if he does like playing pranks. On me especially. But he's a nice guy, with a good sense of humor.

I happy she's not wearing short-short-short skirts around me.

Yeesh.

¡@

¡@

Now she and Gary had announced that they're breaking up!

But it's not a big deal anyways.

She hadn't really liked him anyways.

He hadn't really liked her anyways.

So it's cool.

I felt happy today, that they're breaking up.

¡@

¡@

Today she came up to me when I was sitting beside the pond, staring at my own reflection.

It's fun. You should try it.    ^ ^

I was surprised.

She'd been avoiding me lately.

But she came and sat next to me.

She said, "I'm sorry if I made you feel weird. I'm sorry if our friendship got all... all..."

She couldn't find the right word, but I knew what she meant and I told her so.

She nodded, and gave me a side hug across the shoulders to show she meant what she said.

I smiled.

She smiled.

It was an idiotic moment.

But I'm glad it happened.

¡@

¡@

It's been weeks since that moment.

Our old friendship is back: arguing about everything.

I have to admit, it's fun.

And it's fun being with her.

Today I'm gonna tell her that I like her.

I mean like like her.

Wish me luck.

¡@

¡@

I told her.

She smiled.

I smiled.

Another idiotic, happy moment.

Then she said, "I like you too Ash."

I reached out and took her hand.

And she put her arms around me and I didn't feel disgusted.

I think she really does understand what she was doing wrong.

I hope she understands what I feel, because I don't.

But I like being with her.