I, Pokemon
By Saliaven Chronotis
Chapter One:
I, Ash

Author’s note: Before I get into this, let me warn the reader that I, Ash has many extra details, but is basically everything that came before, from his point of view.  Also, because of the way Ash writes/thinks, it was very difficult to write, but I’m not sure how it reads since as the author, I’m prejudiced against it. <End warning>
     Saliaven is making me write this to as he says “get the point of view from all angles.”  Personally, I don’t get it.  I and maybe the others in my group are going to read this.  It’s not as if they don’t already know.  Let’s start at the beginning, what Saliaven calls “the crotch of time” what a weird name.  Has something to do with times trousers.  I don’t pursue the topic much further.  My first question when he said that was if Time wore underwear.  He didn’t take it too well.  I only wonder if Time wears a hat.  Maybe a top hat.  I don’t want to think about the implications of a beanie.  Or a fez for that matter.  I’m getting way off topic, but this keyboard won’t let me erase anything except typos.  Saliaven says it’s because he wants the true ruminations on what happened, no matter where it goes.  Well, if that’s the case, get ready for a wild ride.
     The beginning, the crotch of time, where Saliaven says all boring hell would have broken loose if he hadn’t intervened.  I never saw anything apocalyptic about that episode of my life, but maybe it takes someone on the outside to see the bigger picture.  Saliaven, who keeps interrupting with these comments, says that the picture couldn’t be too big, because his TV stand could only take a 17" screen, and only then under heavy protestations from said stand.  I had forgotten we were a TV show.  Back to my story.  I can no longer remember the name of that town.  It was inconsequential on its own, but the forest next to it was of the most importance.  It was also important, in that the event that changed history occurred there.  I was later told that the forest was the annual meeting place for the Guardian League.  The organization of legends that kept things mostly peaceful, in conjunction with the Pokemon League.  The League didn’t know about them until we took it over, but I guess that’s how effective it was.  From my perspective at the time, it was just prime land to catch pokemon.  The problem was that overcapturing had led to a ten-year ban that was only two years in and anyone caught within a mile of its borders trying to catch pokemon was arrested as a poacher.  I didn’t want to wait around eight years.  Heck, it’s only been about two and a half now, and it feels like an eternity.  Normally, I would have complied, although a little sulkily, with the authorities.  What tore it for me was that the arm of Team Rocket that was always on our tails had not even gotten anywhere near the forest before being chased off.  The great thing about them tailing us was that whenever they committed a crime (quite often), we were always allowed to chase them with whoever else was on their case.  That way, my little group could enter restricted areas with an excuse.  Without one, I was stuck.  Either break the law, or give up and not get any pokemon.  Ash Ketchum does not give up.
     I hatched one of my usual harebrained schemes to get what I believed was rightfully mine.  If a human couldn’t enter the forest, what about a pokemon?  Of course, I couldn’t tell Brock or Misty about my idea before finding out if it was feasible.  No need to get their hopes up.  I had just managed to find out if the necessary components were within my reach when Brock, as usual, forced me to divulge my little secret.  Well.  Why couldn’t we disguise ourselves as pokemon?  Seems reasonable enough to me.  Truthfully, I’m surprised they gave up so easily.  Saliaven has now pointed out that his rage may have leaked across to cause that.  I’m also surprised that the costume shop was such high quality for such low prices.  Saliaven says that wasn’t his doing.  He’s being tight lipped now.  Maybe he’ll explain it.    It also amazes me in hindsight that I didn’t figure out why Misty allowed me to help her pick out her costume.  Her excuse then was that she didn’t want Brock to get one of his romantic involvements involving her, she being attired only in underwear.  That should have set off bells immediately, since if Brock was going to make his move on Misty, he would have by then.  Instead, she picks me.  I have no sense for this.  Her first choice was a Jynx, she had to bend over and face it, Jynx looks tacky.  Off the list.  Then there was the Golduck.  That suit was possibly the most figure hugging outfit I’d ever seen on her.  Problem was that Golducks live in the water and are not known for their, ahem, endowment.  Off.  Last one was the best and we picked it.  A pidgeot costume that could fly.  She needed help getting it on, since wings cannot manipulate a zipper.  Another great move on her part, since she needed me anytime she used it.  What did I pick?  Well, me and Brock had to double up, less pokemon meaning less of a chance to be seen.  We at first tried a Girafirig, but those are not known for their dignity, so we settled on a Stantler.  Tauros don’t live in forests, neither do ponyta or most of the others of that sort, if you were wondering.  Brock made me take the back, the swine.  I wasn’t really worried about that, it is of little meaning to me.  Alright, you beat it out of me.  It was very important...at the time!
     The exit was also important, and it was Brock who pointed out that we would be traveling out of the forest with full pokeballs, and that the authorities might decide that pokemon shouldn’t wander too far out of the forest and tranquilize us, to return us to the reserve.  It was I who got the idea of our move out.  We would impersonate a Nurse Joy and her entourage. I was also the one to point out that Brock’s knowledge of the nurse line made him prime choice to be the one disguised as her.  Little did I know what effect that would have on his psyche, but that’s his story to tell.  Anyway, the plan was to change inside the forest, filling the extra room in the chansey and blissey costumes with the pokeballs.  Brock was dissatisfied with the mask he was sold, but we had no idea what to do about it.  Luckily for us, Team Rocket took that moment to appear.  This was possibly the only time I was glad to see them in particular.  It was then and there we hammered out the deal which has served us so well from then on.  We traded their promise never to darken our path again and a more realistic Nurse Joy mask (who knew that James was into Kigurumi?) for the promise of a cut of our catch.  I thought it was a good deal, and so did they.  Everyone was happy.
     We found a secluded meadow near the forest to change, and got on with our disguises.  Just before I zipped my half of the costume to Brock’s, I heard a throat being cleared.  As usual, I had forgotten something important, this time being Misty couldn’t close her costume without help.  I went over and helped her out, getting a hair ruffle for my trouble.  It was then that she asked for me to open her pidgeot suit up again.  I obliged, not knowing what she had in mind.  When she pulled her head out and kissed me, I wasn’t sure what to do.  I’d always liked Misty in a friendly sort of way, but I’d never thought...well, that’s not precisely true.  There were times when I believed that we might end up together, but I always passed them off, saying that Misty was only interested in friendship.  Anyway, this show of affection took me by surprise, but then this weird feeling started in the back of my mind, and I suddenly felt like it was right kissing her.  I even kissed her back.  Saliaven said that little nudge was partly his doing, although all I ever needed was a chance.  After getting Misty back in character (I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss, how she looked in that Golduck costume, and visualizing how Misty must be posed in the pidgeot costume), me and Brock got ourselves zipped in.  Man alive, it was hot in that thing.  At least Brock had a source of fresh air.  Keeping our steps in time was harder than it sounds too.  In the end we had to keep whispering numbers while we walked to keep the rhythm.
     Entering the forest like this wasn’t difficult.  Officer Jenny hardly paid us a passing glance as we walked in, Misty flying above.  About a quarter mile in, Misty landed and we set up a recon mission.  Misty would fly sorties above while we got details below, and we were to meet back at the clearing we had found in two hours.  The first hour was uneventful.  We saw a few interesting pokemon, but nothing special.  That is, until we stumbled upon the meeting.  The annual meeting of the pokemon guardian league was being held in the forest that day.  It took me a moment, but I managed to pass Brock Dexter so that he could get a beam out of the eye and translate what they were saying.  At the time, all I knew was that a whole bunch of legendary pokemon were all in the same place.  I knew that what they were saying was important.  Dexter told us enough to know who they were, and why they were meeting.  I also saw a two pokemon especially that I knew I should remember and Dexter seconded, saying both were recorded as being scanned by that particular unit at one time or another.  Well, we hightailed it out of there when the time came to meet Misty, to find that she had seen them too.  Without the help of Dexter, she didn’t know who they were, and we filled her in on the important details.  I was the one to deliver the report, although somewhat fuzzily, since I was still the back end of a stantler.  She was impressed, but as determined as I to take the league make every legend our own.  Thinking back, I’m amazed that we pulled it off.  We just snuck up behind them and threw the pokeballs, knowing a battle would prove disastrous.  They didn’t even struggle.  The hitch in the plan was when one of the pokemon that was on the edge of my mind appeared directly in front of us and sent what I now know to be a psychic wave at us.  We knew.  That name.  Mewtwo.  We remembered what had happened on that tiny island in the Orange Isles.  That changed everything, and we were also aware of why we were being warned.  The pokemon that we held were needed in the world, and that there was an enormous trust, one that Mewtwo himself could barely hold, placed in us.  We also knew what to do, but not quite yet.  We needed to escape.  Getting myself out of my embarrassing position, and helping Misty out of her disguise, we began to get into our escape costumes.  I couldn’t help but sneak another peek at Misty as she took all but her underwear off. As I said earlier, Brock had been chosen as the best Nurse Joy, and I had volunteered to be Chansey, leaving Misty to be Blissey.  Brock had some trouble squeezing into the dress, having to wiggle a little to let the waist compromise with his figure.  I was starting to get leery of the whole idea, seeing the trouble he had with the fit.  Not after he fixed the mask.  It had an effect on him to this day, and even then I knew that he wouldn’t have a problem doing this.  I helped Misty get into her costume, but mine was something of a problem.  Both pokemon, if you aren’t aware, have arms that are far too short, and so reaching the zipper was impossible for both of us.  Seeing my dilemma, Brock giggled, the picture of femininity and pulled it up for me.  He then turned to his dress, fixing the bow on the back and fluffing the lower part.  The pouches on both led directly into the Chansey and Blissey costumes, so it was left to Brock to pile them in with us.  It was a little hard to walk properly, but we made it okay.
     Getting out was a snap, although when Jenny walked up to us I thought for sure we were caught.  It turned out she just wanted to say hi and ask how things were going at the pokemon center.  Brock bluffed his way out easily, affecting the proper mannerisms almost like second nature.  We made it to where Team Rocket was hiding and ditched the costumes, pulling out the pokeballs.  For their trouble, they got a dratini, dragonaire and dragonite.  More than they deserved, but we were feeling good about getting all those legendaries.  Turning to our own catch, we divvied up the pokemon as best we could.  Raiku went to me, of course.  Releasing Mew was a pain, since he registered his contempt for being held in the pokeball and made sure we got the point with some psychic pain.
     Now, I should point out that me and Misty had been trading glances as often as possible without Brock noticing, and when we got back to the pokemon center I told Brock we were going to go out training that evening and not to wait up.  In retrospect, it was too easy.  Brock just waved goodbye and we went on our way.  Just before I did that, I snuck out and bought the deluxe model of the Golduck costume that I had been thinking about.  This one recycled oxygen so the wearer could swim forever, and had an option to make the wearer have the proportions of a real golduck.  We stopped at the meadow we had started our caper only a few hours earlier and found a small hill to sit on.  It was so vivid, the grass, the tree line a few yards away, Misty.  Especially Misty.  Before I got up the courage to give her my present, I found myself complementing her on how she looked in the pidgeot costume, how soft and expressive it was.  She still had it, and I couldn’t resist putting it on.  The zipper wasn’t fastened, but that didn’t matter.  We wouldn’t be needing it.  I finally managed to give her the costume, and she was speechless.  I told her about the features, and she pulled it on as fast as she could, tripping a little with the excitement.  She left the mask off for the same reason I left the zipper undone.  It was a wonderful evening.
     The next day is something of a fractured mess.  Not because my memory is going, but because the trousers frayed for just a moment and I got the brunt of two pasts.  One stands out as the first, and so I will tell it first.  Well, things were getting back to normal.  I say this because me and Misty were fighting.  It comes naturally to us. She thought that my story to Brock was stupid and I agreed.  I wouldn’t admit it, though, which led to our fight.  It was during all this that Brock spied a nice looking girl who was quickly going in the other direction.  As he ran to try to catch up, Misty noticed.  Now, I understand that is wasn’t the best day, but what she did next was underhanded and plain mean.  Another reason I thought things were back to normal.  What she did was yell the name of a pokemon professor, Ivy I think it was.  For some reason, after he got back from the Orange Isles, Brock always lost his cool at the name.  This time, it stopped him long enough for us to get over before he recovered.  He was mad, of course, but we pointed out that what he needed was a partner who wanted to travel as well.
     After the resolution of all our petty differences, me and Misty started getting back into being a couple.  We were walking along when this very pretty teenage girl slams right into us, followed by her alacazam and pikachu.  We were surprised, but not at her story.  She was being chased by beedril, a very common problem with trainers.  Brock started making advances at her, as usual, but this one seemed interested in him.  I knew I should stay out of this and, with nothing to do, I scanned the two pokemon.  That was the first clue.  Both registered as double power on all their attacks.  Some well-trained pokemon considering this one had no others, and her two didn’t have pokeballs.  After Brock had played out his emotions, a hungering experience since he gave this new one, Jasmine I think was the name, all our lunches.  Another clue.
     I have never been good at beating around the bush, so I asked outright why her pokemon were outside their pokeballs all the time and about their power levels.  She seemed confused about the double power, but was able to tell us that her pokemon preferred to be outside.  I understood this, Pikachu never liked it in there either.  There seemed nothing else I could do, so I wandered off again.  Apart from finding some very interesting moss that looked like it was moving, I got nothing done that afternoon.  Me and Misty finally decided to take a trip together to the nearest place to set up camp, since Brock didn’t seem able to with his new “friend.”  A large difference between loves.  Brock’s makes him useless, mine and Misty’s knows when we have to be useful.  Settling down for the night, I was still suspicious and kept an ear open as long as I could.  A master needs a lot of sleep after all.  That ear stayed open even in my sleep, and I was woken immediately by the commotion of Jasmine and her pokemon stealing pikachu!  Alarm bells went off in the back of my mind, and made their way forward very fast after I heard the motto.  Those two could be so blasted stupid sometimes it even amazed me.  With all the options open, they decide to do the motto.  That woke Brock and Misty up, Brock realizing that Jasmine was James.  This stunned him for only a moment.  I know this, because when I was in the middle of giving pikachu an order to shock them, Brock told me to change bolt to wave.
 What happened after this was pure evil on Brocks part, and we were forced to help.  The wave paralyzed all three, and Brock told Misty and I to find and take their real pokemon.  He sealed them inside their disguises and then told them they would be released at Viridian, a couple days away.  You can imagine the ruckus they raised, but Brock was firm.
     The days ahead were full of Rocket whining, but little else.  Misty showed her soft side a few more times, and I was getting used to it.  She could be pretty nice sometimes.  We arrived at the edge of Viridian, and were as good as our word, letting the three go.
     I guess that before I go on, I should talk about the memory we all share that completely overlap everything from when Misty recalled Brock to here.  The beginning wasn’t much different.  Me and Misty were arguing over how Brock learned of our going out and Brock followed the pretty jogger.  After that, things fell apart.  Misty made to yell the name, but my hand shot out and stopped her.  I can’t be sure what made me think the idea I was getting was any better, but I stopped her anyway.  I’d gotten an idea to really mess Brock up for his teasing   Me and Misty would switch places for awhile.  Misty, leery always of my plans, couldn’t see a point.  Neither could I, but there was no point in planning if it wouldn’t work anyway.  With that in mind, I suggested that we trade clothes first to see if our builds were about right.  She was really not liking that, and told me that Brock might see.  I took out my binocs and told her what I saw.  Brock was already miles away.  He wouldn’t be back for a long while.  She tried to stop me by making me give her my hat.  I allowed it without too much argument, and so we arranged the switch.  I won’t bore you with the details of how we saved each other’s sensibilities.  Remember, we had to be in each other’s underclothes as well.  The end result was pretty good, we both fit each others clothes.  Misty looked cute in anything she wore, and I told her so.  She had the gumption to laugh at my appearance.  Some people could be so immature.  With the knowledge of our builds, I called on Raiku to carry us to the one person I knew, who could help us with this.  We went to see Duplica.
     Duplica’s mansion was exactly as I remembered it.  Crooked.  I decided not to ask how she knew we were coming, but was able to figure out how she knew what we wanted.  Yeah, me and Misty hadn’t taken the time to change our clothes back.  After sending Raiku back, we went into the house.  No sooner had we taken a few steps and said a few words than the floor opened up and we were sent to separate rooms.  I knew this even then because Misty was the first one down the chutes.  Falling into a chair, I decided there was nothing I could do and so I just sat there.  I was uncomfortable, because Misty’s clothes left little room on the inside.  Duplica was making me wait on purpose.  I knew she was out there watching me squirm.  Sadist.  She walked in eventually, like nothing was wrong, carrying a box with among many objects I didn’t recognize, a red wig and tinted contacts.  She told me to close my eyes and let her do her work.  I obliged her, and after that, I only felt the effects.  What I felt was uncomfortable most of the time.  She told me to raise my arms, and I did, and she pulled off everything I was wearing and then I felt something go over my middle parts and tighten.  Other items of similar properties were forced onto me, and I began to feel like my entire body was being forced inside itself.  She finally pulled my eyes open for the contacts, and then straightened, saying she was finished.  At some other point, she’d put the clothes back on me, and at first I thought that she had brought Misty into the room to watch.  Then I saw that every move I was making was being copied by the Misty I saw, and I knew then that Duplica had done her job beautifully.  Wordplay intended.  This was the first time I’d ever been attracted to my reflection.  Without another word, Duplica left.  I assumed she was going to do the same thing to Misty as she had to me, and I was not disappointed as she led a perfect copy of myself into the room a little later.  When I tried to compliment Duplica on her handiwork, Misty’s voice came out of my throat.  I was so surprised that I clamped my jaw shut immediately.  It was then that Duplica pointed out that the chances of us being able to impersonate one another’s voices was slim.  I had little choice but to agree.
     We hightailed it out of there, and made our way back to where we’d left Brock.  He still hadn’t made it back, so we told our pokemon what was going on, and switched all of them with each other.  Brock finally got back, and we did our best to console him.  I think the conversation went much as it had in the first time around.  That had given me an idea, why not try to pretend to break up and then I become Brock’s girlfriend, just to make things worse?   When Brock had gone for firewood, I called Misty over, making sure to call her Ash in case, and told her my plan.  She flat out refused, but I managed to con her into it.  She told me she didn’t want to do this much longer and  I also expressed my wish to finish quickly, because her clothes were to tight as to be constrictive.  She said that my clothes were way too loose.  Eh, Dames.
 He got back, and we staged a fight over the use of a lure ball on my totodile.  Turning on each other, we stalked in opposite directions.  Brock just shook his head and sat down to the fire.  I approached with the best look of wistful longing, although I think I botched it.  Sitting as close as I dared at first, I tried some lame excuse of him being like an older brother to me. He looked uncomfortable and I, not being the patient type, just went for the gusto and kissed him as hard as I could.  He still seemed confused when Misty, looking like me, told him how good it was and went to bed.
     I, still trying to act as if I were his willing lover, sat down in his lap to look at the stars.  Later on, I conned him into taking my Golduck costume, as I struggled into Misty’s.  As he finished getting his on, I decided on impulse to get another embrace in.  I asked if he thought the zipper had gone up all the way, and as he bent down to look, I spun around and kissed him.
 We went to a nearby lake and swum around, not putting on the masks since we just kept kissing each other.  We swam over to shore, where I continued to sit almost on top of him.  This was getting addictive, and I knew Duplica must have done something to make me able to charm Brock.  I mean, he can get oblivious sometimes, but this was NOT Misty’s style no matter how head over heels she was.  Deciding to quit while I was ahead, I feigned fatigue and stripped the costume off, going to bed.  I woke up before Brock, but Misty already up and walking around.  I had this weird feeling in the back of my brain, and suddenly wanted no more of this.  Misty, too had been struck, and we both went over to Brock.  Waking him up, he seemed content just to look at me, but I wasn’t having any of it.  We both immediately took off our wigs and contacts, causing Brock to go catalytic for only a moment before tearing off down the trail.  My memory blurs after that, but I still remember what happened when Brock hadn’t been driven off, so I’ll tell that story.
     Pikachu was looking a little tired, so we went to the pokemon center to have him revitalized.  What we saw as we entered made us all freeze in place, and the words with it only made things worse.  The Nurse Joy of that center told us that Misty’s bike had been repaired.  I did the only thing I knew how to do in times like that.  I tried to make a joke, saying that Misty didn’t need to follow me around anymore.  She didn’t take it too well.  I was only trying to lighten the mood.
 Guessing that I should fix this problem as quickly as possible, I tipped a wink at pikachu, who knew exactly what to do.  A thunderbolt later and the bike was rusted again.  Misty and I went through the motions of her being enraged, but there was no heart in it.  Just when we thought we’d heard the end of problems, Misty’s sisters rang.  It seemed that they were going on vacation for two months, and needed Misty to come back to tend the gym.  I did some quick thinking, and cut in that Brock would go with them, but we’d arrive after they left.  Filling Misty in on my plan to go with her, although I’d need to swing by Pallet to see mom and the professor, she inducted me officially as a gym lieutenant.  I thought I was better than that, but I wasn’t going to open my trap over something so trivial.  Sending Brock off to Cerulean, we went into Viridian forest.  Pidgeot came down to greet me, and I spent a few hours with my pokemon before going on with Misty.  That weedle that had wanted to join our party all those years ago came out to greet us, giving Misty a fright.  I still can’t understand her when it comes to those critters.
     Pallette (even I don’t know how to spell it and I live there) was as I remembered.  Nothing ever happens there.  Mom was pleased to see us, and overjoyed at the thought that her ‘little man’ had a girlfriend.  She knew Misty, and didn’t ask any awkward questions.  I love my mom, always willing to keep going.  While mimie served dinner, the professor dropped by to talk to me about my choice not to go to Hoenn.  I figured that pokemon would migrate eventually, and it was only two months.  The professor knew all this, but could never pass up an opportunity to come to dinner.  Between you me and the paper, I think he had something for mom.  It was my turn to keep quiet, though.
     After dinner, Mom told us that we could stay anyway.  It turned out that the magnet trains were so popular, that there are now stations at every major city.  We were happy for that, but also knew that to get any time really alone together, we should take the journey on foot the first time.  We could always pick up the train to Pallette every so often.  It seemed like a good arrangement, and mom understood.  I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, I love my mom.  So understanding.  The trip went over well, and Lugia and Ho-Oh even made an appearance to make sure we knew we’d made the right choice.  I’d found out that the Kanto league needs eight badges for every entry until all badges had been won.  I knew then what I’d be doing after the break as a gym trainer.
      The two months we spent as gym leaders, and yes, I was promoted.  I’m a master in training, of course I could handle a gym leader spot.  We lost a couple of battles, but it was always against trainers that deserved the badges we gave them.  We spent much of the time having as much fun as possible.  Misty would swim in her Golduck costume with me flying above, coming down to pull her out of the water and throw her back in.  This was something we did a lot these days, and I wasn’t going to argue.  It was fun to feel the wind whistling past as I flew above, and the giggles as I pulled Misty up and dropped her back in.  One of our favorite ways to greet trainers was to get into a position like this, and when they came through the doors, I’d fly down and Misty would jump out of the pool.
     It was during one of the times we were doing this just for the sake of enjoyment, when the door opened, revealing Misty’s sisters and Brock.  They’d had their fun on the cruise, and were very interested in seeing Misty and me at play.  Misty, however, wanted to greet them immediately, ending the free show they were enjoying.  I had expected that it would be Brock that would want to stay with them, but they asked us first if it was OK to take him.  Misty played along, asking for her starmie back as compensation.
     About then, the door opened again, revealing my archenemy (I can’t believe I have one) Giovanni.  He’d been sending grunts every couple of weeks to annoy us, and I was ready to battle the leader of the Viridian gym and Team Rocket.  He challenged me, Misty and Brock to a three on three.  We all accepted.  I went first, of course sending out pikachu.  His arcanine was obliterated by the fury of my pokemon, who was more annoyed than me with the one who’d sent Jesse and James after us.  My pokemon was unfortunately no match for Rhydon, which plowed through both pikachu and Onix.  Misty beat back Rhydon with starmie, but was having trouble with Nidoqueen until another force intervened.  The only warning we had was Starmie’s middle jewel glowing, and then Nidoqueen was teleported off the field.  Something weird was happening.  My curiosity was sated when the voice of Mewtwo filled the room, damning Giovanni.  We weren’t sure what was going to happen next, although Giovanni did not look well at all.  A rift in the ground opened, and a psi hand came out, pulling him in.  I saw the other legends for a moment before the gap closed.  Serious stuff had just occurred.
     During the next couple of years, me and Misty went to every gym we could find, getting all the badges, mostly in one try.  What was amazing to me then was the ease that I destroyed many rivals that had been so hard before.  There were the twin streetfighter gyms, AJ, and Duplica had a gym.  I do not want to relive her gym, it was so awful, words fail me.  Misty had gotten bored just being the cheer squad for what she dubbed “my series of mind-boggling lucky victories” and most gyms saw her as an opponent as well as me.  She was a true demon when she battled, I hadn’t realized before since she hadn’t battled much before.  Time came and went, and we entered the leagues.  My victories were rarely stunning, so I will not tell you much about them.  After all the entries and battles, I will admit that I was at the top of the leagues of Kanto, and Misty of Johto.  Lance had been thrown out of the League for being a member of Team Rocket on the side, and an executive at that.  That left a space in the Elite Four that was filled by me.  I didn’t battle for it, I just took it.
     An explanation for that should be given.  The best way to explain is that since I was the highest standing in the Leagues homeland, they just gave it to me.  By mail.  From a PO box.  I took that as a sign that I was more powerful than I thought I was, but since I am not one to be overly vindictive, I didn’t seek out the other members of the Elite Four.  I had other things to think about shortly after what with the wedding and all.  Yes, I married Misty, don’t look so surprised, it was bound to happen sooner of later.  We opened our own Gym in Viridian, with some parts water and some land, so that we could battle as a team.  Giovanni had left a very nice building, and it wasn’t hard to fix what we didn’t like.  Those Roman guards were creepy, and I don’t even have Rome in my history, Saliaven told me about it.  Agatha officially retired soon after, and Misty was appointed the next member.  I say officially since neither wanted to have their rank changed that way.  Rumor was that Bruno and Lorelei forced Agatha out over some sort of disagreement.  And a little later from there, Butterfree came back from it’s trip, and the old gang was complete.
     This brings me to the next really interesting thing that happened.  Now, I like to travel.  I never say otherwise.  Misty is a natural born gym leader.  The excitement comes to her.  You can imagine the fights there.  It was one time when she insisted that if we were going to go anywhere, it be a place with lots of water that I found my next adventure.  The Orange Isles had always been a place of constant change, and this was a pretty big one.  On a deserted part of Sunburst Island, I found a hole in the ground.  I wouldn’t have paid it any mind, but there was a glint of light, and I thought maybe a steel type was hiding inside.  I don’t have very many, and another wouldn’t hurt my team one bit.  What I found was an oblong helmet.  Gary had spoken of an item like that being worn by Mewtwo, but the legend was that his armor had been destroyed when he left Giovanni.  I asked Misty, and she was as clueless as me.  Misty has just yelled that no one is as clueless as me, shows how much she knows.  Anyway, short story shorter, I put the thing on, and saw on the inside a whole bunch of numbers I didn’t understand.  Misty had just made some crack about how my mind was weak, and so I let fly with a psychic attack.  I wasn’t really ready, and it hardly did anything to her, while totally draining me.  She then took it and after that things went black for a few hours.  I guess she was really more in tune with that sort of thing.
     By the next day, I was perfectly alright, and I had thought of something.  I figured that if the helmet could make us able to use psychic attacks, maybe the other stuff psychics do would come to us.  I put on the helmet, and was able to talk to Misty in her mind.  I also got an idea that maybe professor Oak knew someone that could make another helmet.  We made it back to Pallette without any problems, and the Professor told us that he knew someone that could use the helmet to make something that would fit in our skulls that would give us the same powers.  Both me and Misty thought it was a little far to go, but in the end, we decided to try it.
     The day after, everything was in place, and we were able to hear each other’s thoughts.  What was weird was that sometimes, unsent thoughts would escape and be heard.  The Professor told us that we could turn the things off at will, and so we decided not to leave them on all the time.
     We had decided to go to the whirl islands at that point, but as we were flying (guess how) there, a mental itch that I’d had for awhile finally made itself clear.  What had happened to all the pokemon from Hoenn?  It had been long enough that some should have leaked across the border.  Misty told me then that a sort of orange haze had surrounded the continent that no one could get through.  I realized then how close I had been back in Viridian, to changing my destiny to not include Misty or anything I had done up to now.  Saliaven has interrupted to say that the haze should have been blue, but Mew got to Hoenn before he did.  I’d certainly say so, by about...oh, I forget that Saliaven had a tendency towards popping up in times and places his is not expected.  We veered off course a little, to look at the haze.
     Looking at it, I really wanted to go through.  The pokemon on the other side might be fantastic for all I know.  I also wanted to get Hoenn badges, to finish my set.  I also had to wonder aloud what could have caused this.  I was answered by a rainbow bubble floating towards us.  Mew said that she and the other legends had put up the haze because it was not fit to mingle with our twin continents.  At first it was just because none of the other legends would even speak to the Hoenns, but Mew thought that they should get a chance.  Mew went in and learned that they were all jerks, so she sealed the haze shut.  Mew said, though, that we could go through if we really wanted to.  We were warned that there was a psychic effect in the land that makes pokemon wild for a couple of hours and humans depressed about the same length of time.  We shook it off with no problem, having our psychic powers.
     Hoenn had only one surprise, really.  That was that our old friends, Jesse, James and Meowth had gone there thinking I would too, and gotten stuck.  They did pretty well for themselves, anyway, having united Aqua and Magma crime teams into a new Rocket.  They thought they could take Pikachu.  I set them straight there.  Other than that, the whole place was really dismal.  The pokemon weren’t worth catching and the people seemed, well, fake.  We were on our way out when we spotted a volcano and went to go take one last look for a good pokemon.  At the top, some of the earth gave way and Misty fell in.  I will never forget the look on her face of sheer terror, or the sound of her mind pleading with me to save her body after I had safely secured it.  Alacazam managed to teleport her out, but that showed both of us how mortal we really were again.  Whenever I try to see into the future, there are two outcomes.  If I focus on that moment, I see a future in which our body’s die and our minds go into legendary pokemon.  If I focus on any moment past the second I let the revenants out of their imprisonment, I see a sort of blue haze.   Saliaven says that’s him again, and this time he beat the other magi to it.  I don’t know what he means, but it’s still weird.
     For awhile after we left Hoenn, things were pretty calm.  We stayed at the gym most of the time, sometimes leaving for a day to go and visit Pallette of Cerulean.  It was on a trip to Pallette that the next big thing in my life up to now happened.  Me and Misty were playing in the water, when a message came to us by pidgeotto that the Professor wanted to see us.  Misty figured it was probably another one of his weird pokemon related ideas he was testing, and wanted our opinion.  She wasn’t far off, really. We went round the back into the ranch area, where the Professor always is, and found him with Gary and a Nurse Joy.  There was banter, and we figured out that the Joy was Brock, never mind explanations.
     What the Professor was trying to find out was if the electronic signals that pokemon became in a pokeball could be fused.  He had amassed almost every kind of pokemon, and had rigged the balls to all send out to one place, laying them in concentric circles.  We got behind a lead shield and Oak yelled for the pokeballs to open.  The energy gathered in the center of the field.  When the balls had finished, the energy had become a sphere of light, floating in midair.  The Professor got out some of his scanning equipment and got all the info he could in a few minutes up on a monitor.  What wasn’t an omega was a mobius strip, this was one powerful pokemon.  Misty pointed out that if it had the combined intelligence of all the pokemon, why did it just sit there?  Thinking it probably had transform, I commanded it to change.  Misty yelled Gengar, and it and the monitors showed a normal Gengar.  We told it to change back, and the sphere was purple.  Oak told it to change to a rattata and back, and it was the normal color.  Type seemed to affect it that way.
     About then, he told us that he was holding an official tournament to decide who the new pokemon, now named Illuminorb, would go to.  Gary immediately tried to act like he’d win, but I showed him when I pointed out who had all the legends.  The Professor had been really confident in his work, since he had already arranged for the Indigo Stadium to be used for this, and in the next couple of days, more trainers than usually turn up for the League appeared.  Lucky for Misty, Brock, me and Gary that we were early and got a cheap room immediately.  Long story short, I won.  The first day was just qualifying rounds, and my first opponent was Lance.  I was surprised he’d show up in such a crowded area, and no one seemed to bother him.  I have to tell the story of my beating him because it was the most amazing thing you ever saw.  There I was, Lance had sent out a gyarados, which is pretty stupid since he knew Pikachu was a metalevel.  So of course, mixing flying and water against an electric, no good.  Pikachu knocked it off with one Thunder.  Now, he sends out his champion dragonite, and I thought Pikachu could handle a flying type easy.  Not so.  I had forgotten just how good that dragonite’s hyper beam was.  Pikachu left a dent in the wall it flew into.  Not good at all.  I had thought to use Alakazam to redirect the hyper beam, but it turns out that, as Lance put it, the velocity as compared to leverage was astronomic and so the mass displacement was on the wrong side.  All I saw was Alakazam glowing blue to redirect, and without the beam even hitting it, it flew into the wall to join Pikachu.  So there I was, that behemoth knocking out some of my best pokemon, and me without anything I could think of to do.  I did what I always did when these times come.  Trust the luck of Muk.  That pokemon has gotten me past some tough times, mind.  As it turns out, slime is more powerful than kinetic energy.  It absorbed the attack and bounced it right back.  Lance was furious.  He tried Aerodactl, but the fossil got bogged down.  I had won as I always have in the past, with Muk, luck and the weird effects of a slime monster.
     The next two were good but routine for me.  The official story is the Lance walked away a broken man and was never seen again.  This is not true, I know.  It was written by the League PR people because they didn’t think the public ought to know the truth.  As League Master, I soon found out.  What was suspicious at first to me was that Lance walked off, frustrated, but calm as befitting the old Master.  What really happened is tied in with the time problems we’ve been having.  Yes, Jesse and James had ended up in Hoenn, but a copy was left in Kanto.  That copy took Lance’s weakness at that moment to destroy him and take over Team Rocket.  Lance’s fate is unknown.
     We were told that it would take until the next day to set up the matches and arena, so the whole lot of us went over to an outdoor café to talk over any plans we had.  First thing, our battles.  Gary and Misty complained of being bored, although I have to say that Gary’s first battle reminded me of someone.  Name’s on the tip of my tongue.  Anyway, my story was the best, as is my talent for finding great battles anywhere.  The other two were jealous up to their ears.  Gary had to go for supplies, and Brock figured our group could use a super potion or two.  Pikachu had been healed at the pokemon center, and was getting bored with hanging around with me, so wandered off with Brock and Gary.
 Looking at the map of the area, me and Mist realized now was the perfect chance.  There was a lake completely cut off from any sort of entry but from the sky, and the others would be busy for at least two hours, knowing their habit of sightseeing, and Gary of talking about himself to any fans he could get on short notice.
     Our break into the forest has nothing to do with anything that seems to have ever happened, so if you’ll let me, I’ll skip it.  Private stuff, and you can get the idea of what it was we were doing.
     The final set was where the fun really began.  My first battle was a surprise when I saw the trainer opposite.  At first it looked like a Nurse Joy had come to face me, but I took a psychic peek and it turned out to be Brock.  Thinking about it, there’s something disturbing about the way he’s been acting of late.  My battle with him was entertaining and intense, but really predictable.  Pikachu beat Forretress, was beaten by Ninetails and then Snorlax clobbered all of them.  The next bout was between Misty and a trainer from an area of Johto I don’t know anything about.  Misty beat her charizard and espeon with     Starwe, beaten by electrode, beaten by kingdra.  About the same level of interest as my battle.
     The next was me against Gary.  This was the one I was waiting for, and I was not disappointed.  Right off the bat, Pikachu went down against Nidoking.  Alakazam took care of Nidoking, but Umbreon finished it off.  Muk took out Umbreon and Blastoise the usual way.
     Misty took care of a Trovitan, who only had water types, like Misty.  Misty was ready for me, and had some pretty good moves for a concentrated type trainer.  The official record was that Misty and I were very well matched, and the whole thing took a very long time.  Not so.  Muk decimated most of her force, until faced with Starwe, who could spin and fire hydropump so that it washed Muk away.  The reason why the others couldn’t was that they could only fire one way, and so Muk took minor damage in one place.  The reason I didn’t lead off with Pikachu was that I didn’t want my special advantage wasted.  I had some nice plant types, but Pikachu was a metalevel electric, and not worth losing early.  I sent out all my pokemon other than those two in turn, but I knew Starwe was too powerful.  I just needed a fully up-to-date estimate on how powerful.  Pikachu was ready when I called, and I used a move Misty had taught me long ago in dealing with a powerful hydropump.  Just get on the danged thing, and loose electricity through it.  Starwe was gone, and I had Illuminorb.
     We had decided to walk back to Cerulean to drop off Brock before heading to our gym.  Brock had wandered off without explanation, as he usually does, and we were left walking down the road when Agatha showed up.  She badmouthed us and then tried to wow us with some basic summoning magic.  I showed her that I could summon without any abilities by calling on Illuminorb.  She disappeared and soon after sent us a letter resigning her position unofficially, saying that some responsibility might give Misty some manners, although it had obviously not worked on me.  Anyway, back on the road, Pikachu pointed out telepathically that if Illuminorb could transform, maybe it could split into component parts.  We combined a few abilities and got the electronics to break off, and then told them to all shoot thunder into the sky and rejoin Illuminorb.  They did so and the blast coming back hit Illuminorb full force, which it absorbed and redirected, decimating a large area of land.  We also found out that it’s component minds were in horrible strife, so we tried to unscramble that as best we could.  It wasn’t a good fix, but maybe the Professor should open up a pokepsychology ward.
     While we were wandering around later, Mewtwo showed up and taught us some tricks.  Nothing fancy, mostly telekinetics and a couple of energy attacks.  They were fun for a little while, but really the more important thing happened the next week.  Pikachu began to die.
     It was a slow process, and painful too.  I stayed with my pokemon for a week, trying to help in any way I could.  Eventually, the Professor told me he had a theoretical cure, a combo of rest and recover, but my hopes were gone again when he said the only way to get recover was to store pikachu in a temporary robotic unit while we looked for a special psychic type that could imprint recover onto Pikachu.  I was frustrated by then, and while I was walking around the country to think things over, I might have lost my temper a little and vaped a hill.  Anyways, when I got back, I told Oak he could do it, and I moved Pikachu into his temporary body, which was actually a very good replica of a pikachu.
     Over the next few weeks, we searched far and wide for the right donor, but found none.  Eventually Mewtwo appeared, pointing out we could have just summoned Mew, but willing to do it himself, with his supposedly great knowledge of magic.  He teleported me, Pikachu and Misty back to the lab.  Telling me that Pikachu’s natural mental defense might not let him in easily, Mewtwo used me as a middle, and imprinted the power onto the bodily restored Pikachu.  I think that was an excuse, since he was laughing pretty hard when I got turned into a pikachu again.  He teleported out before I could catch him, so I was stuck in that form...for about two hours.  As it turns out, Mewtwo was a better spellcaster than Lily, and had merely given me the option, so I could shift from one to the other.  It was a mean laugh, but a harmless one in the end.
     It wasn’t until months later that anything interesting would happen.  From that moment on, nothing has made any sense whatsoever.  I have a feeling that there is order to what looked like the chaos my life has fallen into, but I was never told about it.  We were in Pallette, visiting Mom.  There was a massive storm, but she still insisted on going out to get groceries, saying that I was liable to eat everything in the house before she even got back.  That’s not true, the couch is still there.  I mean, I might have taken a bite out of it, but it’s hardly noticeable.  Anyway, the point is it was only me and Misty in the house when I felt like something weird was about to happen.  Major understatement.  I was napping as a pikachu, because they tend to be better at that sort of thing, and shifted to human to see if Misty was feeling it too.  Well, as I was getting to her, reading as usual, there was an enormous voice coming from the sky.  Told us to summon some pokemon I’d never heard of.  It was then I learned a valuable lesson.  Never wisecrack to a giant formless voice.  I shifted to pikachu just when the lightning struck, so I was only dazed.  That was one powerful being, since the lightning hit me on the first floor, no harm to anything else.
 We went to Oak to ask him what the Doom pokemon were, and he told us.  Back in the days when the legends were still new to the continent, two became corrupted, and tried to destroy the planet.  Oak thought that might have been a misunderstanding with dark type legends, although he didn’t sound very convinced.  Come to think of it, I later found out he was there!  I wonder...
     Before we left Pallette, we found a real problem.  Both sets of Jesses and Jameses had combined to create the largest crime syndicate ever made.  The four, with their two meowths, challenged us, but Illuminorb got rid of them before they could even get close.  The truth, a Jesse tried to grab it, and it was so unstable, it blasted her and the rest of them away.
     We went to the spot Oak told us to, which were your usual ruins.  The temples where we were supposed to summon from had the two pokemon’s symbols above them, a skull and void mark.  I didn’t know the meaning at the time, or I would have been even more creeped out than I was.  Well, the summoning wasn’t very difficult.  All we needed to do was place the runes and say the words, but for safety, we’d psychically connected ourselves.  The pokemon that appeared were so terrible I won’t bother describing them.  When they made their appearance, two others did, at both doors.  They looked like they had come out of ancient books.  One was a tall and broad man with long white hair, and magmous armor.  The other, a similarly tall, but slender woman with a water gown and yellow blonde hair.  There was talking and then they led the Dooms into another building, where one group of the tall ones disappeared.  They sacrificed a planet, much to my and Misty’s dismay, and the doom pokemon opened a portal.
     That is where it got really weird, because the being that stepped out of the portal was like no creature I had ever seen. It looked all wrong, like it hadn’t even come from a place anything like mine.  Luckily, it realized what was wrong and combined itself with those who had helped the Doom pokemon.  The result was a man who has held my destiny in his hands and never told me what it was or why what happened even occurred.  He is Saliaven Chronotis, someone who claims to be the Avatar of God.  I’m an atheist, so I just think he’s someone who knows his way around power.  His first act was to stop time for everyone except me and Misty, and then show us why he was and is here.  He showed us a vision of a history where his superior didn’t tamper with destiny, and I am glad after seeing it that he did.  I can’t believe I was so blinded by the evil of Hoenn that I left my hat in Kanto.
     I knew by then that the Pokemon released were in fact evil.  What I didn’t know was how evil they were, a situation fixed by the coming of every pokemon outside of Hoenn, to attack them.  Saliaven held me, Misty and Pikachu in safety while Mew and his host hammered the Doom pokemon with everything they had.  Illuminorb did brilliantly as the focus of their energy.  Saliaven ended the battle just as the two pokemon attacked were about to retaliate.  He claimed he was bored, and there were other matters to attend to, but I think that it was because Darkening was more powerful than I knew.  They had killed a legend, as I was told.  That is so awful, and an Articuno at that. Luck would have it that Saliaven could obliterate both with a flick of his mind, and we captured them with GS balls.  I never asked Saliaven where he got them, and I never will.
     Mew then took it upon himself to purify the two pokemon I’d seen, and when they had been cleansed, they turned out to be Ancestors of both me and Misty, Blaze and Vapor. They had once been great magi of their time, but the darkness consumed them as they tried to master it.  I would never allow that to happen to me.  The thought of even trying to makes me glad I’m so far removed from those two.  Other than that, they seemed like nice people, and helped us when the mission turned out to not be over.  The darkness inside had gained intelligence, and escaped to Hoenn, creating a massive citadel as it landed.  The portals opening had shot out a massive blast of magic, which gave Misty and I enough power to join the others as they flew to the new battle site.
     The citadel itself was pretty big.  I’d guess around five stories tall, with four tall turrets.  It was of black brick, with a purple energy discharge from the top, ringed by a black spiral.  There were a few defenses.  First was a water spout wall, which our dragonaire force quickly dealt with.  Then there was the forcefield.  We blasted it with every type, including the new Magic type, and still it didn’t fall.  I retracted on it’s own, showing the next defense.  Giovanni and the darkness in Mewtwo had been revived, sent to challenge us.  Mewtwo took down his dark side with the help of Duplica, who fused with him.  I haven’t a clue what that was about, and I keep forgetting to ask.  Giovanni was put down by the new Team Rocket, who also brought along some of our trainer friends.  To my everlasting disappointment, they brought Gary.  Before Saliaven fixed it, a glitch in dimensions had combined him with someone Saliaven calls Maximilian Pegasus.  All I knew about it was that Gary was wearing a red blazer, white ruff and one of his eyes was made of gold.  It was weird, but it looked right somehow.
     Well, none of the outer defenses gave us much trouble, and me, Misty, Blaze, Vapor, Mewtwo, Mew and Saliaven were going in, leaving the army in charge of a few mewthrees that had appeared.
     The inside was very strange.  It was supposedly a replica of the central citadel of Mage City.  There were four rooms we went into immediately, all filled with stuff for magic.  The first was very dusty, and the items looked mostly of runed stone.  It was explained that these items were even older than my ancestors.  The next was the library, which I didn’t note until entering the real thing that it was far larger inside than outside.  Magi have a lot of books, I guess.  The third was cleaner and filled mostly with metallic and gemstone items.  I was told that these were made while or after my ancestors were alive.  In all three, we took some stuff to make sure we were ready for what was coming.  The fourth had what looked like half grown humans and brains in jars, spiked items and other strange implements.  This provoked great rage from my ancestors, who blew the entire room and all contents completely away.
     The next area had been modified by the evil seed, so even the ancients couldn’t be sure what we would find.  Saliaven, however, could.  In the hall, we all faced our greatest fears.  It really wasn’t so bad, Duplica had done worse.  When she did the Misty and Pikachu are leaving routine, it was perfect.  I’m really ashamed that the citadel had such a silly performance.  Duplica could strike true terror, but that’s another story, and one I have rightfully skipped.  I don’t know what Misty saw, I never asked, but it was on par with my own, I think.  My ancestors were nice enough to take what little me and Misty had gotten and relieve it.  That was when I took a good look at where I was.  It was a room full of purple, pulsing crystals.  Everywhere, they stuck out of walls, the ceiling, the floor and some were just lying around.
     Saliaven told us that all the evils of the world were embodied in the crystals, and that we could destroy them by draining them all into one crystal and blowing it up with the citadel.  Now, at the time we hardly knew Saliaven, we didn’t even know his name actually.  We were skeptical, but Mew said that we might as well since we had no other good ideas.  The crystal in the center had places to shove the other crystals, so we loaded it up.  Each one we attached drained all the light and energy into the central one, which pulsed even more.  When we finished, Mewtwo got excited and tried to blast it.  Saliaven tried to stop him, but it was too late.  The psi beam that Mewtwo shot at it connected, but there was a feedback current in the psi, and he was nearly killed.  Well, he was dead for a moment, but Saliaven revived him.  I guess dark psi can’t destroy dark magic, makes sense.
     We got the heck out and found the army waiting.  They hadn’t been able to do anything to even get a scratch on the thing.  Saliaven looked mildly annoyed.  He then started a guessing game, which left Mewthree with the answer.  Well, modesty aside, I figured it out.  A group flash to irradiate the citadel with light.   This was an attack that we didn’t know the side effects of.  It left that part of the world in full daylight for weeks.  Luckily, that was solved by Saliaven sinking the continent of Hoenn.  I always wondered about that, it was the only time I ever saw him truly angry, but he was also resigned.  Anyway, it took two shots, and I could have sworn I saw a small disc escape the rubble after the first shot.
 It was around this time that we found of Saliaven’s name.  We also were given a road that sent us through all the regions, armor of our choice, and a standard.  I figured on something cool for my armor, and I picked out a nice looking one with a lot of lasers and junk on it.  We marched for Pallet, and when we got there, Blaze immediately bowed down to the Professor.  I was shocked.  Turns out he was a very powerful mage of the era and survived throughout time.  Will he ever stop being the one to teach Ketchums?
     Blaze, Vapor and Mew then went to the ruins and brought out Mage City, complete with houses and magical facilities.  Team Rocket got a job as guards, and everything was peaceful.  For about half an hour.
     That night, Mew told us of an earlier time when humans and pokemon were connected, and humans with elemental powers had a pokemon form.  In fact, they were the only pokemon, true pokemon, with wisdom and the ability to do evil.  Misty asked a good question there, was that ability going to return?  The answer was yes, but it would take time.  Mew offered a quickened version through a spell that could speed the process in anyone around that wanted to try it.  It required the trading of essence between a human and the pokemon which they had the greatest connection to.  I think it’s obvious that I chose Pikachu.
     We gathered in the main building, and I was chosen to go first.  As it turned out, the spell Lily and then Mewtwo had cast on me was the spell I needed.  Pikachu was given my essence, and, well, ummm.  I never knew Pikachu was a girl pokemon.  She said she’d tried to tell me.  Anyway, then there was Misty.  She really surprised me.  I hadn’t expected her to become a vaporeon, I really hadn’t.  A gyarados, or maybe a seadra, but not a vaporeon.  And Starwe was huge.  Then there was Gary, his was really weird.  He traded with his Umbreon, she turning into a woman I’d not want to meet on a dark night, and he turned into a pokemon I didn’t even know existed.   His form was basically shades of white.  Sleek pure white with three glowing white tails, and a beige mane.  Saliaven told us that he’d turned into a divineon, a high magic area pokemon with ties to the spirit world.  Attacks mostly in the realm of light.  They way Gary got there was also strange.  He split into his dimensional components.  I am not good at explaining this sort of thing, but what I saw was thousands of afterimage Garys in motion.  Some were quite strange.  Then there was Duplica.  She, after two tries, completely merged with her Ditto.  This prompted Saliaven to make the most disturbing aspersions to the lineage of several people in the room.  I won’t repeat what he said.
     I was bored by then, so I wandered off.  Eventually, I teleported myself to the field where the trousers of time split.  I needed to think about a few things.  Why is it that I was chosen as the human protector?  Is it my name?  I have a feeling that the prophesy would change if my name had been different.  Is it my drive to master pokemon?  No, there are many others who are like me there.  Gary, for one.  Is it the fact that I am so pure?  If that is the case, then my curses are blessings and my blessings curses.  The chosen one responsibilities are too great now.  I took help to do what I had always done alone.  That was when Misty appeared, walking from the edge of the forest.  She told me what I knew deep down, that there had always been help offered and given.  Pikachu, Gary, Mew, Saliaven and then everyone followed.  Saliaven pointed out that power wasn’t what I needed to win.  I was always at the right place at the right time, and the prophesy made me the right person.  Why do I get the feeling that Saliaven could change the prophesy if he felt like it?
     The next bit of interesting history happened soon after.  Misty and I were in our pokemon forms and she was winning the unofficial battle.  She’d used acid armor to become invisible, and shake off my thunder wave.  She got in behind me and pinned me down, licking my ears.  That really tickles, mind.  That was when Pikachu tackled her off me.  Duplica shifted to a vulpix and tackled Pikachu.  Chaos ensued as every trainer and pokemon in the place jumped in, regardless of leg amounts.  There was a man in a cloak watching, and all he did was smile.  The first time I saw him do it, I almost had a heart attack.  The man had teeth so big, they dominated my vision.
     Anyways, the interesting part happened when a man identical to Saliaven except for his pendant, challenged Saliaven to a magical duel.  I don’t know anything about it other than that Saliaven won.  By then, the new Team Rocket had figured out some of the systems of Mage city.  I know this to be a test, since Blaze and Vapor already know every system in the city.
 A day or so later, I don’t remember.  Well, it’s not that I don’t remember.  I remember everything important that’s happened from the entry to Mage city to now.  It’s just, that, well, time isn’t what it was in the outside world.  Ever since I stepped foot in this place, I have felt as if everything is happening in a precise sequence with no time in between.  I know that I ate, slept, and all that other stuff.  It’s just that I don’t remember it.  I remember the action well enough.  I just can’t seem to get a handle on the things that happen day to day.  As if this place is so amazingly amazing that normal things just don’t happen.
     The next thing I remember is learning some basic magical spells.  Misty, as annoying as ever, said she didn’t think I could learn to enchant objects.  I showed her, just that day, I managed to put a dancing curse on Duplica’s sneakers.  All she was learning was how to draw her power from living things.  All she had was free energy.  What a waste of time that was.  Duplica had spread her pranks around, as always, and put tails on every student she could find.  Gary was a surprise to me.  He chose divinity, which means he believed in something greater than himself.
     I had been told that day that I’d forgotten my gym.  Oops.  That was fixed when Vapor taught us how to tap the city to move our houses and buildings here.  Saved time, she did.
     I think I can base time on what the next day was.  Misty’s birthday.  We forced her into a surprise party in which I made a lot of money betting that I could eat an entire cake in record time.  Misty disappeared several times, taking first Saliaven and then Pikachu with her.  I wasn’t really paying attention, but she looked awful the first time she came back, which I was told was when she found out none of us were aging.  I can’t believe no one noticed.  The second time, she gave Pikachu a new outfit.  When I saw her in it, I lost my concentration and most of the money.  Pikachu looked innocent, as always, but with clothes that sexy on, it was difficult.  Misty was jealous once she realized, and Pikachu was very willing to try something that covered more of her.
     It was soon after that the Saliaven lookalike came back.  This time, it challenged Saliaven to a card game of some sort, which I had no idea what was.  Two other people were summoned, and from the way all of them acted, I think Saliaven won.  That was when I got really confused.  Saliaven ordered the other one to take a proper form, and they got into an argument in which Saliaven won again.  The new form was what we came to know as Marlene.  The strange thing was that they weren’t acting like enemies.  They acted like a couple who liked to argue.  I couldn’t figure out what was going on, so I didn’t try.  Misty, at least, was as clueless as I was. Saliaven insisted that Marlene joining us gave him enough power to raise Luto, which I found out later was a small continent.  He took Misty, Gary, Blaze, Vapor, Mewtwo, Duplica, Gary’s Umbreon, Pikachu and Marlene with us to the southern tip of Cinnabar Island and then we took a boat out a fair distance, maybe a hundred miles, where there was a small island.  We docked and walked to the center where there was a sort of grey square of stone large enough for us to all stand without bumping into each other.  There were four shapes which I still don’t know what are drawn on it.  He arranged us into the three, with himself, Marlene and Duplica standing in the middle between the three.  I wasn’t prepared for what came next and he didn’t have the courtesy to tell me.  He put his staff into a hole in the stone and we flew up at a speed I would place at about one-twenty miles per hour.  Stopping was a neat trick since none of us flew away.  He gave us words to chant while he Marlene and Duplica chanted another.  I could actually feel the power around us as we spoke and at the end, there was nothing.  For about ten seconds we were looking around when the continent rose up, with buildings and roads already there.
     I think it was Misty who first pointed out the problem we had.  You see, the continent wasn’t tall enough to reach us, since we were incredibly high in the air.  There was water surrounding the area directly below, but I didn’t want to try to fall that far even into water.  Saliaven didn’t help much when he said we couldn’t teleport in, Misty proving that when she tried.  He did help when he said the stuff messing with our magic also screwed up space, and the distance wasn’t as much as it looked.  He proved this by walking into the water.  And Duplica proved it further by putting her feet in while sitting on the platform.  I had already jumped when she did this, so it hardly mattered to me.  What I did care about was the sudden attack behind me.  It turned out to be Misty, but I panicked and turned Pikachu in order to use a thunderbolt.  Lucky me that Saliaven managed to put up an energy bubble around me.  Misty was furious, but so was I.  We’d just seen such powerful magic, I expected that there would be some sort of backlash, and maybe creatures from another dimension would attack.
     Okay, if you have any sort of sense, you’ll have figured by now I must be crazy.  Maybe I am, it certainly seems like some strange stuff.  The next part was even stranger, since Saliaven led us back to the island and then before our eyes, built a city out of stone which he flew using his telekinetic power to the island.  All this in about half an hour.  I could barely lift the air conditioner when summer came, and he was casually throwing boulders around, and cutting them, too.  The detail was amazing as well, I saw some of the carvings.  When he finished, a giant hand came down from the sky and put an extra building in.  At first, I didn’t understand the reason.  Then I saw what was inside, but I get ahead of myself.  The first thing is that Saliaven and Marlene walked up to the building, which at the time seemed to have no door, and started shooting magic at the statues on the wall.  They moved.  They actually got up and walked away, and these weren’t little ones that might be magical servants, they were full sized idols of gods.  One actually needed proof after being shot through with more power than I’d ever seen, that it really was Saliaven.  If there is anyone else who can pull the kind of power that can raise and sink a continent, I don’t want to meet that person.  The building itself shot some sort of pulse into the sky, which temporarily showed a different star pattern.
     After these idols had gone off to wherever, the door was revealed.  It ran the entire length of that side of the building, but when we walked through, no light could be seen except a small panel a few feet inside.  It looked like a code panel for a locked door, and I was proved right when Saliaven pushed some of the buttons and a very heavily locked door slid open.  We arrived in a dark room, with only a computer monitor for light.
     OK, look, there are plenty of people who can tell you what happened better than me, and besides, this happened very recently.  Long story short, there was another supercontinent and we had to rescue it.  We did.  The end.  That’s everything up to now.
Author’s Note: YEGODSANDLITTLESISHES!!!!!!  Writing for Ash Ketchum is the worst writing experience I have ever been exposed to.  It was just one simple idea after another, I have half a mind to just put this out and give up on the whole idea.  Anyway, there’s still plenty more characters to get through, although I am not going through the whole story again, since the others are more intelligent and now know the reader is aware of what has happened.  Besides, I would hope you’ve read by previous works before this one.  Oh, and I realized that my first fic was so absolutely awful in the department of actions, I had to rewrite it, so I just kinda did this and it snowballed.