Author's note: Hi, me again. I dared Dannichu to write a short story that had to contain 20 phrases I made up. Well, she's made up 20 phrases for me, and this is my attempt at writing a short story. These are the phrases: 1. You are the weakest link. Goodbye! 2. What streetlamp? 3. You are as annoying as one of those Furbies! 4. Ack!!! Why are there tentacles sprouting from your head? 5. Sayonara, sweetheart! 6. Why do they put that extra 'o' in opossum? 7. Yes and I'm the prince of Cuba! 8. Shut up now, if you want to carry on breathing. 9. I collect doorknobs. What about you? 10. But mommy, I want to ride the floating banana! 11. Did you know that oysters change gender depending on the temperature around them? 12. Ich habe ein problem!! 13. Feel the wrath of the magical curtain rail! 14. What?! No way could Batman beat Spiderman! 15. What are you a crab, or something? 16. Alas, poor Yoric I knew him well. 17. I appear to be slowly melting. 18. Ahh... the refreshing beverage called vinegar. 19. Are you a dairy product? 20. I have better things to do. Such as die. This is gonna be fun... Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon (duh, if I did, I'd make The World's Weirdest Fanfic a movie (see www.mypokekitty.homestead.com/sarahstories.html )) so don't kill me for borrowing them. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) is a play put on by some of the funniest guys ever, and I don't own that either. I don't own much. Not even my sanity! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Pokemon meets The Reduced Shakespeare Company-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu all went into the Criterion theatre in Viridian and approached the reception desk Brock: Can I have...*suddenly notices a pretty girl is behind the desk*...a date? Receptionist: I have better things to do, such as die. Brock: *Using his world-renowned glomph* Please? Receptionist: You are as annoying as one of those Furbies! Ash: *looking round, scared* Furby? Where? Misty: *shoves Brock out of the way* Three people and a pokemon for The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) please. Receptionist: Certainly. That'll be 2900 credits (the weird money they use on the pokemon games) please. *Misty hands over the money, her foot still firmly holding Brock to the floor. The receptionist gives her four tickets.* Receptionist: Enjoy the show. *They quartet go in to the theatre and find their seats at the back* Ash: Hey, the seats are sticky! Misty: Um, Ash, that's someone's Grimer! Grimer: Grime! *squelches off to find its trainer* Brock: Are there any women in the show? Misty: No, its three guys acting out everything. But they'll probably have to dress up as women at some point. Brock: Never mind, the lady at the bar is a cutie! Misty: That's what I get from hanging around with a bunch of boys... Ash: Hey Pikachu, can you see from your seat? Pikachu: Pikapi, chu pika chupi pichu? (Ash, can we swap seats?) *Ash and Pikachu swap seats* Ash: Ich habe ein problem! Brock: Ash, you speak German? Ash: Ja! Misty: Oh man... Brock: What's your problem anyway? Ash: Why do they put that extra 'o' in opossum? Misty: Why do you feel the need to ask that now? Ash: *shrugs* Pikachu: Pi! Chu pikachu! (Shh! It's starting!) A man walks out on stage wearing a suit. Guy in suit: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Criterion Theatre, and this production by the Reduced Shakespeare Company. Please note that the use of flash photography and recording of this show, audio or visual, is prohibited by management. Also, please refrain from eating, drinking or smoking anything during the show. Please take a moment to locate the exit nearest your seat *makes a stewardess-like movement to indicate the exits* should the theatre experience a sudden loss of pressure, oxygen masks will drop automatically. Simply place your mask over your nose and mouth, and continue to breathe normally. If you are at the theatre with a small child, please place your own mask on first, and let the little bugger fend for himself! The guy goes on to introduce himself as Reed Martin, and his associates, Austin Tichenor and Adam Long. A while later... Ash: *whispering to Misty* I need to go... Misty: Then go! Ash: I need to go bad... Misty: So? Ash: I can't walk properly... Misty: Just go! I'm trying to watch their 'all 16 comedies in 1' bit! *Ash gets up and begins to hobble sideways towards the toilets* Misty: What are you, a crab? Ash: Yes, and also I'm the Prince of Cuba! Misty: Just go! Ash: But- Misty: You ARE the Weakest Link, goodbye! Ash: But- Misty: Sayonara, sweetheart! Ash: Oh... *wanders off in the direction of the toilets* Brock: Did you know that oysters change gender depending on the temperature around them? Misty: No, but I do know you'd better shut up now if you want to continue breathing! Or do you want to be hit by a streetlamp? Brock: What streetlamp? Misty: *pointing out of the window* That one. Ash returns and they watch the show a bit more. After a long while, they stop for the intermission. They go out to the bar for a drink. Misty: I'll have lemonade please. Pikachu: Pika pichu chu pikachu! (Ketchup for me please!) Brock: And I'll have your phone number. Barmaid: EW, in your dreams! Brock: I appear to be slowly melting in my sadness... Misty: What are you, a dairy product? Barmaid: Oh, I'm sorry. Here, have a coke. It's for free. Brock: *Stops melting and goes back to normal. Well, as normal as you can be when you're a slit-eyed, perverted womanizer, but whatever* Why thank you! *He takes the drink and gulps down a mouthful, before spitting some of it out* It's vinegar! Ash: Ah, the refreshing beverage called vinegar! Barmaid: Oh, silly me, I got it wrong! Misty: Ack!!! Why are there tentacles sprouting from your head? Ash: He must be having some sort of weird allergic reaction! Pikachu: Pika pi chu, Pikapi... (You don't say, Ash...) Brock: *His voice going and octave or five higher* I collect doorknobs, what about you? Misty: Okay... Brock: *Still in the same freakily high voice* But mommy, I want to ride the floating banana! Ash: Somebody, do something! *Sarah the Swinub appears* Sarah the Swinub: Feel the wrath of the magic curtain rail! *Dannichu appears next to her* Dannichu: Sarah! Get back to the real world! Sarah the Swinub: Okay... *They both disappear* Misty: Okay, I'll get him back to normal! *she slaps Brock across the face until he gets back to 'normal'* Brock: I'm never having vinegar again... Ash: Hey, the show's about to start! *They rush back to their seats just in time for curtain-up. It's getting towards the end of the show, and The Reduced Shakespeare Company is doing its last play, Hamlet, Prince of Denmark* Austin (as Hamlet): This skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once, but then came the Nutrasystem weight loss program! Alas, poor Yoric, I knew him well! But soft, here comes the Queen! Couch me a while and mark! *At the end of the show, the audience, including our favourite quartet, gives them a huge round of applause* Misty: That was really funny wasn't it? Brock: *Not hearing Misty and continuing to argue with Ash* What?! No way could Batman beat Spiderman! Ash: Well, what do you mean by 'Judge Dredd could defeat Superman'?! Misty: This is the last time I go to the theatre with these two! The End! Woah, I did that all in one sitting! I've never done that before! Hope you liked it, whoever's reading this! Luv Sarah the Swinub