Title: Torn
Author: Shadow/Phantomness
Pairing: Championshipping (Lance x Red/Ash)
Fandom: Pokémon
Theme: #32, Torn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. *Phantomness bows*

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Warnings: Shonen-ai, fanon, anti-Specialshipping

Red doesn’t understand how this could have happened. One day he and Lance were in love and everything was perfect, and the next Lance was gone and no one, not even Lorelei or Agatha, seemed to remember who he was! And when he had gone on the wonderful world of the Internet to run a search, there had been nothing. No pictures, no words, and no pokémon… it was almost as though Lance had disappeared off the face of the earth and Red was the only one who knew he was gone.

The Elite Four were now the Elite Triad, and no one seemed to know about the Dragon Master. Heck, he’d called Clair to asked only to find out she was the Heir of Blackthorn as well as the Gym Leader and no, she didn’t have any cousins thank you for asking were you that desperate for a date?

It made Red very confused. But he knew Lance had existed! He knew it! He couldn’t have possibly dreamed up a fantasy lover, could he? No, he could not have, and his pokémon remembered as well, though Aerodactyl gave him sad looks and Pikachu looked like he was hiding something.

Hmm…

Red knew that Lance wasn’t powerful enough to brainwash an entire continent, and the idea seemed absurd, but if nothing had changed – and everything had changed, so he was lying to himself – why did he keep thinking about legends?

It was almost like a half-forgotten memory…

Red could not for the life of him remember how he had wound up in bed with Yellow, but it had been a bit of fun, and yes, he had meant to go and apologize to Lance but then Lance had off and disappeared and he was probably brooding somewhere and didn’t want to be found. The explanation fit, but at the same time, it still left so many questions unanswered.

Red sighed as he buckled on his poke belt, and went off to find the Dragon Master for some answers.

It turned out easier said than done.

For several months he scoured the regions, remembering all the places they had traveled. He checked the entirety of the Kanto-Johto landmass, and when that proved no good, went to Houen, and though he wished Champion Wallace could have helped, he doubted that he or Steven would remember Lance, considering how thoroughly his image and name had been purged from the Indigo League.

This was… strange, and it made him uneasy. He wished he knew. He wished…

He wished a lot of things now.

Cosmos was just a brief stopover, and Charlotte had promised to help him by searching her League, but it was only until later, when he was half a world away and trudging through neck-deep snow in Shinou that he realized she had remembered Lance too. Why?

Why just them?

Had Lance been cheating on him?

He hoped not…

Shinou was his last bet. He didn’t think Lance would leave his pokémon behind, so he had to be hiding out somewhere with pokémon, right? Right.

So where…?

He wasn’t sure. He had checked Hakutai forest, but it didn’t suit the Dragon Master’s tastes, and that was why he was now scaling his way up Tengan Mountain, an armful of new HMs in his pack and a curious gaggle of Yukikaburi watching him. If this failed, the lakes were next…

“Hello.” A soft voice said, startling him, and he almost cried in relief at the sight of those familiar golden eyes, hidden beneath a blue ski cap.

“Lance!”

The trainer blinked at him, balancing on his ski poles. “I’m sorry.” He said. “But do I know you?”

Red felt something cold and hard settled in his stomach, and gawked at Lance in disbelief. What…

What game was he playing?

“Of course I know who you are, Lance!”

“… It’s odd that you know my name. I don’t remember you at all.” Lance cocked his head to the side, studying Red quizzically. “But standing in the snow is no way to talk. I live in Kissaki City.”

Red hesitated, but decided it couldn’t hurt. He sent out his new Mukkuhawk, watching as Lance released Dragonite. The rest of the ride was commenced in silence.

Outside of his house, Lance recalled his pokémon and beckoned Red inside. It was relatively simple to make tea, and Red cupped the porcelain between his hands, taking what little comfort he could from it, as he studied Lance.

The Dragon Master looked… slightly different, and it wasn’t just the dark blue ski suit he was wearing. No, his eyes were softer, and he seemed gentler. Red sighed.

Lance sipped his tea, smiling. “So tell me… how do you know my name?”

“How could I not, Lance? Don’t you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Everything! Why are you here? I miss you…”

“That can’t be.” Lance said softly, and Red stiffened. “No one needs me.”

“Lance…”

“I do not even have my duty now…” Lance said, shaking his head. “Why did you remember?”

“What do you mean why did I remember? Did you think I would forget like everyone else?” Red snapped.

“I hoped so.” Lance took another sip of his tea. “I thought Father would be strong enough. I failed, again…”

“You’re not making any sense, Lance.” Red told him. “But are you remembering the past?”

Lance gave him a single nod, fingers gripping his cup tightly.

“That’s great!”

No, it wasn’t. It was painful, and he was vaguely aware of the cup in his hands shattering, but there was blood and tea running down his hands and all he could do was scream, his soul wanting to shirk away from this intruder…!

He didn’t want to love and he wouldn’t fall in love if he could just forget it all…. And he had been doing so well too…

Red was understandably surprised when Lance backed away from him, hissing. “I… don’t want to love you.”

“Lance! You’re bleeding!” Red yelled, ignoring the words. “Should I get help?”

“D-Don’t come near me…”

“But why?” Red asked, wholly confused. “You need help…”

“Don’t!” Lance cried, before he slumped forwards. Red edged forwards, worried, only to step back suddenly when he saw the glitter of steel. Lance gave another pained cry, before his wings emerged fully, sharp-edged silversteel traced in blood.

Red watched in alarm as Lance slowly pushed himself to his feet, driving the shards in his hands in deeper. The Dragon Master stood unsteadily, before he sighed.

“It… will be all right now.”

“What will be?” Red demanded, at a loss. “What are you going to do, Lance? You’re hurt!”

“I know.” Lance said quietly. “But it doesn’t matter any more.”

Red frowned. “Lance… you’re being awfully strange… and this whole amnesia thing…. No, I don’t believe you would lie to me. Aren’t you happy to remember?”

Lance turned, almost – almost smirking. “No.”

And it was Red’s turn to feel something shatter inside of him. He stood there, stunned, even as Lance walked closer, brushed his cheeks with his fingertips and pulled him into a kiss, leaving traces of blood on his face.

Then Lance walked outside, and Red vaguely registered that there was a blizzard – when had that happened?

And he didn’t come back.

He didn’t. Come. Back.

Why?

Why don’t you love me any more, Lance?

Why…?

“They’ll scar.” Charlotte said quietly.

Lance shrugged, pulling his gloves on, ignoring the blood. Sleek black, they covered his hands completely. “He won’t see them.”

“True, that.” Charlotte frowned. “He would have apologized. Why didn’t you stay? Why…”

“Because.” Lance said, sighing. “I am sick of forgiving.”

She nodded, but privately, wondered if that was the barrier to his happiness. Perhaps it was.

In any case, she hoped things would resolve peacefully someday.

End Fic

Completed 2/25/07

Fits along with Theme #72, Slow. Lance is being a bastard. I know that. But I think I’d act like him too. I’m not a very forgiving person…

And Lance didn’t cut Red. The blood is his…