Title: Baby? As if!
Author: Shadow/Phantomness
Pairing: Championshipping (Lance x Red/Ash)
Fandom: Pokémon
Theme: #76, Baby

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. *Phantomness bows*

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Warnings: Shonen-ai, language, ANTI-MPREG

 

            gYou canft be pregnant.h Lance said, staring at Ash in disbelief. gYoufre a male!h

            gBut-but the doctor said I had the necessary female organs inside of mech Ash sniffled. gWhat am I going to do?h

            Lance sighed. gAsh, there is no way for a sperm to reach your fallopian tubes and fertilize an egg unless you have a vagina or at least some type of opening. And I most certainly assure you that you do not! Having Gary fuck you up the ass does NOT get you pregnant, so quit wasting my time!h

            gB-Butch

            gAnd even if you gave him oral, the lymphocytes in your bloodstream and the pH of the stomach acid would kill sperm.h Lance huffed. gNow get out of my room.h

            Ash walked up to Lance. gLancech

            gWhat?h He snarled.

            gDonft youc want me?h

            gc You mean sex?h Lance retorted dryly, while Ash colored. gNo. Youfve already got a fuck buddy, Ash. Enjoy him and leave me in peace. Or if you were thinking about sleeping with me as a Christmas present, I wonft do it. Itfs not worth it and I donft want to catch anything from you.h

            With that, the Dragon Master swept out of the room while Ash stared at him in disbelief. Whatc?

           

            gBad day?h Red asked sympathetically, as his lover dismounted from his Dragonite.

            gThe worst.h Lance sighed. gWhy did you give up your Champion position, Red? I have to deal with the most irritating little twerps at the Plateau now.h

            gIfm sorry.h Red hugged Lance tightly. gLet mec make it up to you.h

            Lance smirked. gWell, in that casech

            His day was starting to look up.

            Why would he want a whore like Ash anyway?

 

End Fic

Completed 12/27/06

Written because I was appalled at the lack of biology in some poorly written MPREG fics. I hate MPREG. I mean, okay, if the person is hermaphroditic, it is NOT always a guarantee of pregnancy! *Huffs* and besides, having taken anatomy makes me twitchy!