Title: Writer’s
Choice
Author: Shadow/Phantomness
Pairing: Championshipping (Lance x Red)
Fandom: Pokémon
Theme: #96, Writer’s Choice
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics.
This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under
international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you.
*Phantomness bows*
Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics
if a pokemon talks
Warnings: Self-Insertion, Mary-Sue bashing, het, fanon, script format, shonen-ai
Once
upon a time… war was declared in the pokémon fandom. Many stood on the side of
the light. Many stood on the side of the dark. Their battleground was the
universe itself, and so, battles were waged…
This
is simply a sample.
Phantomness: So let the fic now begin!
Random Bad Author (RBA): All right! First strike’s mine! And I play Mary-Sue in attack mode!
Red yawned as he climbed out of bed. It had been a long night, but he was sure that he had to leave his house today. After all, wasn’t he getting his starter pokemon from Professor Oak? And he’d be able to see Gary’s cute cousin Serenity too! Ahh… Serenity Tamara Oak… she was so beautiful, with long, lavender hair down to her waist in luscious waves, and piercing silver-shot cobalt eyes. They resembled the moon at night…
He got dressed quickly, and left the house.
Phantomness: What? You’re starting off like that already?
Sheesh! Then I’m going to use my Spell-Check card, and paralyze you for a turn!
RBA: *Hiss*
Phantomness: *Smirk* New trainer fics are so boring… I’m going to place Red at Champion position, because it’s canon in game-verse! So there!
Red rubbed his eyes as he blearily woke up again. Had he fallen asleep at his desk again? It seemed to be the case. He glanced at the paperwork covering his desk, the pen lying scant inches away, and the half-empty mug of now cold tea. With a yawn, he stood, stretching, and walked down the hall towards his room, intent on a hot shower. Maybe breakfast too, if he had time before the wave of challengers poured in…
RBA: Hey! That’s so boring! Let me spice it up!
Phantomness: As if! You’re still trapped, remember?
RBA: You can’t stop me! I play the Blatant Contradiction
card! That means I don’t have to conform to canon! Now get him good, Mary-Sue!
Suddenly,
a beautiful girl tackled from behind Red. Her dazzling eyes locked with his,
and he felt his heart thump. “S-Serenity…”
“Oh
Red, I’ve missed you so much! Ever since you became Champion we haven’t had any
time to ourselves! Please, kiss me!”
Red
obliged almost immediately, and Serenity smiled beautifully at him before
dragging him down the hall to his suite for some much-deserved private time.
Phantomness: *Gagging*
RBA: Hah!
Phantomness: *Grimly* I haven’t given up yet. I play my OTP card! That automatically summons Lance to the battlefield!
RBA: So what? He can’t beat my Mary-Sue!
Phantomness: Wait and see.
“Where do you think you’re going?” A voice cut across the room. Red turned. Lance stood in the doorway, balancing a tray in his hands.
Serenity stuck out her tongue at him. “Red and I are going to do important things! Butt out!”
“My, how uncultured of you.” The Dragon Master purred smoothly. “And here I was going to invite you to join me for breakfast.”
“Breakfast?” Red asked hopefully, eyes lighting up.
“I made pancakes and scrambled eggs.” Lance said smoothly.
“With blueberry syrup?” The Champion continued.
“Yes.”
Red
hastily detached himself from Serenity and raced towards Lance. The Dragon
Master calmly steered him to the dining room and watched him eat with a
contemplative expression.
RBA: That can’t be!
Phantomness: I’ve promoted my OTP more than you have, so
nyah!
RBA: Then I’m going to equip my Mary-Sue with this Card! Legendary Powers! Now her attack points are far higher than your pathetic canon character!
Phantomness: *Growl*
A bright beam of light flashed outside. Red paused in mid-chew, a forkful of scrambled eggs halfway to his mouth.
“What the…” Lance started to say, but settled for goggling as he stared outside the window. Was that Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres?
Serenity smirked as she watched her pokemon do dazzling spirals in the air. “Lance! I challenge you to a Pokemon Battle!”
With these legends at her side, there was no way she would lose!
“Wow…” Red murmured in astonishment. “I never knew Serenity had so many legendary pokemon…”
Lance gritted his teeth, stepping outside. “I accept.”
Perfect! Everything was going to plan! Now she would defeat him and become Pokemon Master and earn Red’s love!
RBA: Now there’s no way you’ll win!
Phantomness: *Grits teeth* I was hoping not to use this
Card…
RBA: What?
Phantomness: I play Fanon Evolution!
RBA: Fanon evolution? But you seem like…
Phantomness: Meh. I’m not a canon Nazi. I built my fanon degrees from canon. Now, Red! Evolve into Destiny!
Lance hissed as he saw his twin Dragonair collapse after a Blizzard attack from Serenity’s Articuno. The girl was gleefully winning, that was for certain. He unhooked Dragonite’s poke ball, tossing it forwards grimly.
It seemed that things had come down to this… his eyes flashed, changing from soft brown to brilliant gold, as the wind began to blow…
“You can’t win.” Serenity said, proudly.
Lance bowed his head. “I know.” He said softly.
“Then why are you still fighting me? That’s so heartless! Think of your poor pokémon!” She crooned.
He saw Dragonite, fallen, but did not see, and his smile was soft as he clasped his hands in front of his chest.
“I am not the one you have to defeat.” Lance replied, before he called the Sacred Sword.
A scream split the air, as golden wings exploded from Red’s back. His eyes blazed to match them, clothing shredding into black armor.
“You killed him!” He screeched.
Serenity actually backed up a few steps. “R-Red?”
Phantomness: *Shrug* so? I have no honor either.
“Destiny.” The winged apparition corrected. “And now, you die.”
“W-Wait! Why?”
“Because,” Red told her, and his eyes were mad, “There can only be one Mary-Sue in a fanfic.”
With that, he cut off her head.
Phantomness: *Smirks* Just you try.
RBA: Oh, I’ll do more than try! You’re going down!
Phantomness: Yer not the first one who’s tried to flame me to death, you know. One gets bored of it after awhile… guess I just got lucky!
End Fic
Completed 2/23/07
Started 2/22/07
Phantomness: I know, blatant SI. I’m not even a virtuous canon author. AU is so much more fun…
Ash: *Laughs*
Red: *Killing Mary-Sue*
Lance: *Claps* Yellow is a canon Sue
Phantomness: I know! And if you have enough power to kill her, ^^