I hate being drugged to my eyeballs… and the nasty side effects…

Title: Believing
Author: Shadow/Phantomness
Pairing: Championshipping (Lance x Ash/Red)
Fandom: Pokémon
Theme: #28, Believe
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. *Phantomness bows*

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Warnings: AU, Child neglect and possible mental and psychological damage, shonen-ai, though it’s more like friendship fluff

If he believes in himself, everything will be all right.

Red has lived by this mantra for a long time. Oh, he has friends, but nothing more than that. He was polite to Misty and gently turned her down, but the truth is – he’s scared to love.

It means giving up too much of himself to someone else, and he just can’t do that. It’s dangerous.

Besides, love is no guarantee of happiness. His parents were in love, but they still divorced when he was five, and his mom went to work in Houen with Devon Corporation. His father lives in Saffron, since he works for Silph, and they are rivals in all sense of the word now.

They aren’t even friendly rivals. Now, he’s certain they’ll sabotage each other if ever in the same room. It’s frightening, especially to a child who may be Champion, but is still naïve at heart.

He starts spending more and more time with the Elite Four in Indigo Plateau. No one questions it, since he is Champion.

In Indigo Plateau, he has a little suite with a kitchenette, a large bathroom, a bedroom, and a little study. He spends a lot of the time in the library, reading fairy tales, when he isn’t facing impetuous challengers or training and playing with his pokémon.

It’s quite peaceful, and he starts thinking of his parents less and less. After all, they’re too busy with their work.

He gets to know the Elite better, since if they have to live together, it might be good to be friends.

Lorelei rather likes to make dolls, and he enjoys watching her stitching them. She has dolls of all the gym leaders, and she’s even making a doll of him, a tiny thing six inches tall dressed in his red jacket and jeans. She even made stuffed replicas of his pokémon team.

Agatha is similar, but her interests lie in needlepoint. The huge banner-map of the world is her pet project. Right now, she’s adding the Sevii Islands in little spots of green thread. She’s almost like a grandmother, but one who’s a really good trainer.

Red thinks he wouldn’t mind if she were his grandmother.

He never knew his real grandparents. For some reason, his parents never took him to see them.

Perhaps they already disliked each other before he was born. That makes him sad. Or perhaps they’re sad because he was born?

He’s heard often that they could be advancing their careers, making their names as spectacular scientists – and they are spectacular, since his father was on the team that developed the Master Ball and his mother works in Potions, but still…

Did they ever love him?

He gets a letter once in a while, usually when he’s foiled Team Rocket or something of equal value. He got his first letter when he became Champion.

But that was only after he proved his worth. Did they not care about him while he struggled on the journey?

It makes his head hurt and his chest ache to think about such things, so he tries not to. Still, his hands shake as his glass shatters.

Lance looks up and stops speaking, as he walks to Red’s side.

“If the proposal is making you emotional, we can take a break.” He says. His voice is soft, nothing like the harsh tones he uses when speaking to those stuffy bureaucrats, and Red rubs his wrist as he wonders if Lance is wearing masks too.

He thinks he is.

But here with the Elite, they don’t need them as much.

“It’s not that. I’m sorry, Lance. My mind wandered.”

Lance half-smiles. “Perhaps a break is in order for all of us then.” The rest of the Elite Four nod, and they all exit the room.

Red vaguely knows that they are discussing a welfare proposal, but he really knows nothing about it. He’s too young to deal with this kind of thing, but he’s Champion, so his presence and vote is required.

“You don’t like this side of the Championship, do you?” Lance asks, as they walk to the cafeteria.

Red grins. “You’re right. It’s so boring.”

“Boring but necessary, apparently, though I’d like to hang the man who decided the Elite had to review the Kanto Governing Council’s legislation. We may vote, but our votes count nothing in the end.”

“It helps influence public opinion though, right?”

Lance smirks. “Been reading political science books in the library?”

“Oh no. I was just thinking.” They order, and sit at a table while they wait for their sandwiches to arrive. Red sips his glass of milk thoughtfully.

“Lance, do you think I should give up my position?”

Lance frowns. “Why in Lugia’s name would you choose to do such a thing?”

“Because so much of this is… almost irrelevant, and I feel bad. I’m too little to understand.” Red tries to say, but it doesn’t quite come out the way he intended.

Lance shakes his head. “You’re brilliant and anyone else who tells you different is lying.”

“My parents don’t think so.” Why is he telling Lance this? Perhaps his heart has overflowed and his emotions don’t fit in their neat little box anymore. If he doesn’t tell anyone, it will build up until he explodes or goes mad.

“Your parents seem distant.” Lance comments. “Don’t you ever go home?”

Red laughs mirthlessly. “Not anymore.” It’s only been six months since he came here, and he only went home once, and that was to collect and pack his belongings.

“But are you lonely here?”

Red shakes his head. “You’re all very nice. The Elite Four, I mean. You don’t treat me like an idiot.”

“You most certainly do not deserve such treatment.”

“You really think so?” Red is almost shy.

Lance shakes his head as he gets up and pulls Red into a hug. “Positive.”

Red leans into it, feeling a lot better. Sure, the Elite don’t avoid physical contact, but it’s kind of strange.

Lance is hugging him!

It makes him quite happy.

So he kisses Lance on the cheek, and then they eat their sandwiches quietly.

After lunch is over, they go back to the meeting, but it’s not so bad. Lance talks slowly, and he can ask questions. No one minds, since this stuff takes time to learn and is mind-boggling even for the experienced members.

And maybe, he can take the first step towards being himself.

End Fic

Completed 9/11/06

Is it disrespectful of me to write fanfic on this date, I wonder?