Ohohohoho!

Disclaimer: If I owned pokemon, you’d probably be watching a lot of lemon-hinted yaoi, so be glad that Nintendo owns pokemon. This is non-profit fanfic, written by me so its mine, and I’m not infringing on their copyright.

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Warnings: Insanity, angst…

Chapter 10: Kai

This is not what I wanted to happen!
I wanted him to love me… I wanted him to be mine, but I never… I never!
Ash’s flesh crawled as Lance wrapped his arms around him.

“Koibito…”

This isn’t real! This is just an illusion that I’ve created and was foolish enough to believe in! Real love doesn’t come that easily… this is nothing but a lie!
He cried.

He cried for lost innocence, for failure, for lost hope, for everything…

Oh my god I broke him, he isn’t the person I fell in love with and I… I couldn’t see it at all! I made him what I wanted him to be, but… that’s not what I want! I want danger and excitement and confidence and that cool calculated victory, and I want the bloodshed and destruction that goes along with it! I don’t want a pretty little doll that can’t do anything but smile!
I broke him…

I… I can’t even control my emotions, I let them get the better of me like I’m never supposed to do since I’m the Chronicler, but!
I’ve failed my duty, I’ve failed my Chosen pokemon, and I’ve dragged them down with me into the mire.

I’ve hurt these poor innocent unown, whose only fault was picking me as their Chosen…

This wasn’t what I wanted! It’s not the way things are supposed to be!
I…I wanted him to love me, I still do, but I want real love! I don’t want this illusion anymore!

I’m not taking the easy way out anymore, I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, forcing him to love me is just as bad as…rape…

Oh my god…

Please, just kill me now…

He cried, as Lance just held him. There wasn’t much the programmed Chosen could do, either way.

< Chosen… >

< I’m sorry! > Ash burst out, feeling the Unown awake. He had shut out their voices when he had done the unthinkable and written history to his whims. < I’m sorry! I was so selfish, I only thought of me, and I, I broke Lugia’s Chosen! I know I deserve whatever punishment I get and that death is too good for me-! >

< Chosen. >

That was W, who cut him off.

< You say this is your fault? >

< Of course it’s my fault, I’m the one who rewrote history, isn’t it? I made a mess of things, Team Magma didn’t fall as prophesied and I nearly killed the Dragon Master! Not to mention the environment is losing its battle again since I pulled him from his duty to act as my lover, and… >

< Calm down, please. >

Ash tried to fight, but the power rushed through him and drained away all his turbulent emotions.

? and ! floated there in his mind’s eye.

< You? >

< Hush, young one. There is much you still do not understand. >

< J-just undo it all… > Ash sobbed. < I’ll never touch him again, that should be enough punishment…please, kill me… please…>

Lower than dirt.

He did not even notice when they pulsed in unison. A complete unown alphabet was a powerful thing.

The last thing he saw was darkness.

Is this… death?

Let me die then…

Lance awoke, feeling slightly disoriented. Memory returned with a vengeance, and he quickly checked over the sleeping Chosen.

< Wake, little one. > He whispered, placing a kiss on Ash’s lips.

Ash stirred, and then nearly screamed when he opened his eyes. * What? This feeling? NONONONONONONONO! This isn’t what I want! I have to stop this! I can’t keep up this lie, it hurts both of us! *

With brute force of will, he jerked away.

“Stop. Lance, I know you won’t understand what I’m saying, but I’m sorry. You aren’t even you anymore. I broke you and turned you into this little marionette that isn’t real and you don’t’ love me, so we shouldn’t… it’s all my fault, I really abused my power and I’m sorry, so sorry, and I’ll undo it right now, and…”

Ash stopped when Lance smiled.

It wasn’t a nice smile.

It was… he hadn’t seen it in months, but it was… cruel and twisted and darkly evil, but… how?

Had they?

Ash checked himself over, then frowned when he saw that the scroll was still there. If he hadn’t written it back into being, then what was going on?

Lance tipped Ash’s chin up. “Devious, you know.”

What?

Ash blinked. * Impossible! He shouldn’t be able to talk on his own… did U undo this? No, that can’t be right… *

This must still be a dream. Illusion within an illusion… I can’t stop this, then! It’ll follow me forever! I have to… finish it…

This is the best way, they need a real Chronicler who can perform his duty without problems.

I’m sorry… sorry…

Ash grabbed a pair of magically summoned scissors and then proceeded to try and stab himself in the heart. One wonders why he didn’t pick a knife but hey, that might be too clichéd.

There was strangely enough, no pain?

Opening his eyes, he saw that Lance had grabbed his wrist and that ribbons of black energy had snaked around his form. They weren’t constricting though, just holding him tightly. Immobile.

Lance casually disintegrated the scissors. < I believe the unown told you to be calm? >

< How?! >

< Do you honestly think me that innocent and naïve, little Chosen? > Lance asked, before he pinned Ash down and kissed him fiercely. Ash looked startled, but inwardly, his heartbeat began to race faster and faster.

Was this… real?

< I fully expected you to want me. > Lance said, almost casually, as his fingers dipped lower and Ash flushed. < After all… >

< We’re two of a kind. And it always hurts to lose. >

Ash’s eyes widened as he felt himself losing consciousness again. This time, there did not seem to be any normality.

Lance casually stood up and focused his power. < Lugia… let’s begin. > The waves of blue energy spread outwards, changing the landscape.

As the unown nodded and began channeling, Lance looked away and sighed.

“You failed this time, little one. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson, maybe not. But don’t worry, my Kiss of Forgetting ensures you won’t make this mistake again.”

The Dragon Master did not look behind him as he stepped through the portal back to Whirl Islands.

Let history repeat itself…

End of Fic

Sorry, a sappy happy ending would be kind of OOC, so… I need some angst, after all. Review and enjoy! *bows*

Complete 4/18/04