Mood: *ANGER*

A blatant Mary-Sue writer just asked me to co-write with her… I know I’m not exactly the best writer on ff.net… but still! Why me? I won’t do it! Oh well, ‘Better-than-you’… doesn’t she know I’m anti Mary-Sue? I thought I had made that clear… and now she wants fic advice and keeps rejecting my suggestions. I give up! I hope aniki Blasters her to hell!

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon; it belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfic belongs to me. I own my writings under international copyright laws…

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Chapter 7

The sulking mood only lasted for about two days, before Ash’s conscience caught up with him and kicked him, hard.

After all, Lance didn’t owe him anything, right? He was trying to help, as bizarre as it seemed…

Well, maybe not help… more like annoy while being ‘uber-helpful’ in that ‘I know better than you’ way…

But maybe some small part of him did appreciate it.

After all, ‘girl lessons’ were very time consuming.

Ash sighed. * All right, I’ll try and have a better attitude, okay? I’m just not used to this! I’m _not_ a girl! *

… Yes, that worked.

He would be civil! Somehow! Even though it galled him a lot!

“Ohayo.”

“Well, I’m surprised you got up this early, Ashley.” Lance stirred the instant oatmeal slowly, with a frown.

“Um… why are you eating that?”

“It has 50% recommended daily calcium and fiber, plus it also includes the latest health faze: soy protein.” Lance said in a dead-pan voice.

“Eww…”

“Just kidding.” Lance said. The alchemy circles on the backs of his hands glowed silver, and than the oatmeal turned into…

“Cookies!”

“Cheaper than buying them with gold at Mac’s inflated prices…”

“Oh.”

Mac was a spirit who had been a wealthy farmer in life. In death, he made good business, selling supplies to spirits for high prices but only charging gold. Pure gold was hard to obtain here…

Hm. Seemed he had some link to the mortal world, whatever that meant…

Spirits don’t _need_ to eat or drink, or go to the bathroom, those things, but they like to. It helps pass time.

Ash helped himself to two of the cookies and tried to keep his table manners under control. It actually worked, even though Lance hadn’t cast magic.

Was he – hell forbid – getting used to it? He’d just said he wouldn’t! But now he was trying to be nice, so… so…

It didn’t matter.

He would survive.

At least his leg felt a bit better….

He would get better.

At least he was sleeping, had been sleeping well. He didn’t think Lance would hurt him.

Maybe… could he _trust_ him? Well, he hadn’t hurt him, right? Right? So it had to mean something. Hopefully.

In any case, he tried.

He learned how to subtly flirt, although how Lance knew that was up for grabs… in any case, it would be useful for gathering information.

He spent two afternoons with Lance, learning how to dance.

Then, Lance dragged him _shopping_.

< Are you _insane_? >

< My dear, this is something all girls should know. >

< I’m not a girl! And quit calling me that! >

< Hai, Ashley. >

< Grr… >

< Say, does that hairpin only give you that dress? I’ve never seen you in anything else. >

< Unfortunately. > Ash muttered. < I don’t know why. >

< Maybe it’s part of the spell. >

< Well, I do wear that nightgown I found in my room every night, but I don’t exactly have any other girl’s clothes. >

< That’s why we’re going shopping. >

Ash scowled.

< Now, now, most girls would be overjoyed. Smile. >

So he did.

However, he did not expect shopping to be such an ordeal. Picking out bras in the lingerie section was bad.

So was trying on clothes. Why were they so _tight_? Did people have absolutely no modesty?!

< Most guys like that! >

< I think I won’t. > He moaned, trying to get his arm through a sleeve. < It’s stuck! >

< Do you need help? >

< I don’t need your help, > Ash snapped, but it held less bite. < I can do this just fine! > A rip belittled his statement.

Lance coughed politely and slipped the attendant in charge of the dressing rooms a twenty dollar bill.

That solved any questions.

After four anxious hours, they headed ‘home’, Ash toting six shopping bags.

< Odd. >

“Oh, what is?”

“How come I can change clothes now?”

“Because, when you were a girl, you only changed you, not your clothes. Right?”

< It changed what I was wearing. >

“Yes, but not your entire wardrobe.”

< Um… I only have about 10 outfits… >

“Yes, that’s definitely a guy thing.” Lance said, making Ash feel a bit better. He opened the door.

“Hello.”

Ash nearly dropped his shopping bags when he realized it was Bane. Lance seemed completely aloof and unperturbed.

“Trespassing here is illegal.” Lance said.

“Yes, yes. In any case, is Ashura here? I may spare you if you tell the truth.”

“In my sitting room, on my sofa, in my house, I hardly think you are in the position to make threats.” Lance said, as silver bladed chains bound Bane down tightly, drawing blood. A whistle summoned his dragons.

Ash inconspicuously made his way upstairs quietly before he was spotted.

Bane cursed, tried to get free. “Just you wait, magician!”

“You said it first, not me.” Lance replied calmly. “Do not tempt me, for I know very well several of my cousins would like your throne. Leave my house now.”

Bane left after the chains released him, but vowed revenge.

End Chapter

Completed 7/21/04