Well, yes… I’m being a bad, bad writer…

Title: The game of ‘Twisted’

Author: Shadow/Phantomness

Pairings: Many! Championshipping (Ash x Lance), Chestshipping (Lorelei x Misty), Blackbeltshipping (Bruno x Brock), and others implied

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: If I owned pokémon, I would not be reduced to writing fanfic!

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Warnings: Gender-bending, shota/loli, PWP, character bashing

“Remind me, why are we here again?” Lance asked the group present. Lorelei shrugged and took another bite from her ice cream cone. Bruno grunted. Brock didn’t look up from his playboy magazine. Ash paled as he hugged his Pikachu tightly. Misty glared at Ash.

Before them sat a large game board scrawled with mystic symbols, bearing the words ‘Twisted’ in bright neon green letters.

“So, whose idea was it to play this game?”

“Er… actually, that was my birthday present for Ash.” Brock coughed.

“Interesting…” Lance frowned. “All right then…” He was about to say more when the box suddenly gave a cough and opened in a cloud of pink smoke.

A board with thirty-six squares laid itself nicely. Two sets of cards, one marked ‘Truth’ and one marked ‘Dare’ flew out. Also, there was a spinner with eight options marked off in different colors. A pair of dice, and six little game pieces…

Those game pieces though…

Lorelei nearly choked as she studied them. It might just be coincidence, but… there was a sapphire Starmie, a diamond Dewgong, a bronze Onix, a steel Hitmonchan, a silver Dragonite, and a golden Pikachu.

There was a long pause as everyone considered the situation.

“You know, I’m getting a bad feeling about this…” Ash murmured. “Maybe we shouldn’t play…”

A mallet dropped into his skull. Misty scowled. This was her perfect chance to seduce Ash! “Why not?”

“Are you two even old enough for this game?” Brock wondered, checking the label… “Ages fourteen and up… darn, I guess you are.”

“Where did you get this?” Lance’s voice was just a shade too polite.

Lorelei coughed as she flipped over one of the Truth cards. “Brock, you *are* aware that this game is predominantly sexual in nature, are you not?”

Bruno’s eyes lit up as he stared lustfully at Lorelei. * Maybe this is my chance! *

Ash slowly got up again, robbing his throbbing head. “Well, where are the rules?”

There was another puff of pink smoke as a small scroll fell out of the sky. Lance grabbed it and began reading.

“Rule number one: Under no circumstances may any of the players leave until the game is concluded. Well, that means we’re stuck…”

“Rule number two: To start the game, the player sitting nearest to the Start panel will begin, and then clockwise rotation proceeds until all players have taken a turn thereafter.”

“On your turn, you may choose to roll one or two dice, then follow the directions on the square. Draw either a Truth or Dare card, or Spin the Spinner. Be warned though. Lying, cheating and attacks on other players are punishable by severe penalties.”

“The first person to reach the thirty-sixth square wins the game, and cancels out all changes acquired. They are also given a single wish, but beware...” Lorelei finished, having snatched the scroll. “Well, I guess we’re stuck. Who’s going first?”

“I am.” Ash gulped.

He picked up both dice and tossed them. Instantly, the little golden pikachu was teleported five squares to the board.

Ash stared at the board. “Truth card… all right!” He drew the card and read it silently, his eyes widening with each word.

Oh no…

“Well? What does it say?” Misty asked.

“I…” Ash turned bright red. “I don’t want to say it…”

“You’re going to have to, I’m afraid.”

“Let me take a look.” Brock snatched the card. “Aw, it’s not that difficult! You just have to say what your favorite flavor of condom would be!”

Misty’s eyes bored into Ash’s head.

Ash colored more.

A ticking sound came from… somewhere. “Thirty seconds remaining.”

“Um… peach? Strawberry? Vanilla? I didn’t even know they made flavored condoms!” Ash was panicking. What if he answered wrong? Wait… “Chocolate!”

The ticking stopped, and the Pikachu stilled.

Ash took a deep breath in relief, and turned to Misty. “You’re next.”

Misty nodded. Maybe she’d go slower… it seemed that the higher the numbered square, the more difficult the action… all right!

She picked up the red dice, leaving the black one on the board, and tossed.

One.

Misty drew the Dare card. “Remove one article of clothing, not pants or bra? That’s easy enough.” She unclipped her suspenders and put them aside. “Next!”

Pity she didn’t have anything to show off, Brock thought. “My turn.”

Brock was more daring, but he didn’t want to overdo it. He also rolled a single dice. He landed on square four.

The Onix looked decidedly uncomfortable.

“Spin the Spinner?” Lorelei nodded. “Well, here.” She passed him the spinner.

Brock stared at the options. “Let’s see… Second Childhood, Gender-Bender, Role-play, Persona Veritas, Instant Win, Return to Start, Advance 5 Spaces, and Romeo and Juliet?”

Lance shook his head. “I foresee problems already.”

“Just spin it already,” Bruno grunted. This was such a waste of time! The sooner it was over with, the better!

Brock spun…

Agonizing seconds ticked by as the Spinner finally landed on ‘Advance 5 spaces.’ The Onix moved, and then the square lit up again.

“It looks like it’s your turn to take a Dare card.” Ash said.

Brock shrugged as he drew. “Ah… interesting. Kiss the person on your left.”

Lorelei turned pale.

Brock took full advantage of this as he kissed her squarely on the lips, but when he tried to French kiss her, an electric shock stopped him.

Stop! Pikachu cried.

Lorelei shot Ash a relieved look, and he grinned back.

Brock sulked, but his turn was over, and he grudgingly handed Lorelei the dice.

The ice master grinned as two dice sailed out at the same time. The faster she went, the quicker she’d win.

They screeched to a halt at nine.

The Dewgong moved to the same square as the Onix, much to Lorelei’s disgust. She drew a Dare card.

“Kiss as many players as you like, but not on the lips?”

Brock immediately lit up.

“Hold your horses, dear. I believe I get to choose whom I kiss.” Lorelei’s eyes lit up as she glanced at Ash.

Ash blinked in puzzlement, but didn’t have time to protest as Lorelei kissed him lightly on the cheek. She then did the same to Lance and Misty.

Lance bore it with his usual stoic nature, Ash turned red, and Misty nearly swooned. Satisfied, and ignoring the hopeful looks both Bruno and Brock were giving her, Lorelei handed Bruno the dice.

Bruno grunted and threw.

Snake eyes met his vision.

“Two? I got a measly two?”

“This one seems to be a truth card.” Lance commented, as Bruno drew from the appropriate deck.

“Hm…”

“Well, what does it say?”

“Who got your first kiss?” Bruno frowned. “I don’t remember…”

“I wish I’d gotten that.” Ash mumbled. * That question was embarrassing! *

However, as Bruno truly did *not* know, he suffered no penalties, and handed Lance the dice.

The Dragon Master closed his eyes, and then threw.

The dice shuddered to a halt at twelve…

“Twelve?”

“Looks like it.” Lance drew a Dare Card. His eyes lit up.

Ash blinked.

“Remove three articles of clothing from a player of your choice… this could be fun…” But of course, this was quite… helpful.

Bruno was only wearing his training gi – pants and a belt, and he had absolutely no desire to see that…

Misty had already lost her suspenders, but he was sure seeing her in the nude would not be good for his health.

Lorelei? Well, she was in her one-piece blue dress… still…

Ash gulped as Lance’s eyes fell upon him.

“Jacket, t-shirt, and jeans,” He purred.

Ash shivered as he obligingly stripped. * I am going to kill Brock when this game is over! *

He was left shivering in his plain white briefs and his League hat.

“Well then, your turn again,” Lance said as he handed Ash the dice.

His heart sank.

End Chapter 1

Completed 4/27/05

I know; I know… this will probably end up NC-17 if it isn’t already *Laugh*

So! So far, Misty is on square 1, Bruno is on square 2, Ash is on square 5, Brock and Lorelei are on 9, and Lance is on 12

I would not have posted it, but Nephitari Champion encouraged me to, so I am.