Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Satoshi Tajiri, Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. *Phantomness bows*

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Chapter 5

“I have to, well… how do I put this...” Lance paused. “Oh yes. I’m required to touch someone rather intimately.”

“WHAT?!”

Lorelei glared at Lance.

Misty shook her head empathically. Lance might be kind of cute, but no. She didn’t want a random guy touching her!

Ash squeaked. * I have a bad feeling about this! Why me? *

Golden eyes froze her in place as Lance snapped his fingers and now-familiar chains wound around her arms and legs. Immobilized again… and still a girl too!

“It won’t hurt.” Lance reassured her with a fanged grin, before he plunged his head between her legs.

She shrieked as his tongue invaded her personal space. It felt… weird but good, but this was wrong since he wasn’t really a girl so he shouldn’t like it and – oh!

Lance had the expression of the cat that ate the canary as he released his victim, licking his lips suggestively as Ash colored further.

At this point, the reverie was broken when Bruno and Brock reappeared, ruffled but obviously still alive.

Ash hastily took two dice and threw with a shaking hand. They rolled down to a three.

“Dare…?”

Square fourteen winked.

Ash read the card, relieved at the familiar sense of being. “Okay! Lance, remove one article of clothing.”

“As you wish…” The Dragon Master grinned, as he unfastened his cape and laid it on the ground.

Ash scowled. “You wear too much.” * How am I ever going to get him back? *

“My turn.” Misty was smiling broadly. The goal was in sight! As long as she rolled nine or higher she would win!
What to wish for?

The two dice spun… and gave up a five.

She was passed the spinner, and spun… only to land on the Second Childhood button and revert back to a two-year old.

Starmie vanished off the game board, as Misty was eliminated from the game, now underage and unable to play.

Brock and Bruno shot each other looks of discomfort and Bock took the dice shakily.

It would take at least two turns… for him to win…

He rolled both dice, garnering a seven and moving to square thirty. He drew a Dare card and choked.

“That bad?” Lorelei asked with a hint of sympathy.

Brock nodded.

“Oh, let me see.” Bruno yanked it out, then paled. “You’re right. It is bad.”

“Do enlighten me then…”

“Thirty seconds of kissing below the waist? That’s not that bad.”

“But!”

“…”

The timer began ticking…

Brock grabbed Lorelei and began kissing her ankles, hoping he wouldn’t get slapped. Lorelei endured it. Barely.

She had to remind herself that there were horrible penalties for attacking other players… but she kept her temper under control.

Brock sighed.

Lorelei took the dice and tossed them. A nine…

“Does that mean I win?”

“I believe so.” Lance said… “What?”

Dewgong had reached the finish line, but had then vanished. Everyone else blinked. Bizarre…

What had gone wrong?

… Silence reigned for several minutes.

The other five looked nervously at each other.

“Her Dewgong’s not in the ‘Dungeon’ area…” Bruno finally managed to speak up. “What do you think went wrong?”

“I have no idea… I thought the game would have ended by now, since she won? Unless she didn’t win?” Ash piped up.

Lighting flashed outside.

More pink smoke bellowed up. “Wish still in process.”

“Wish still in process?” Brock wondered.

“So she’s answering the wish somewhere?” Ash queried.

Lance nodded. * I wonder what she wished for? * He cast a discomforted look at Misty, who was now sucking her thumb.

Bruno looked worried. * Uh-oh… *

Meanwhile…

“Well?”

Lorelei hesitated. She knew that she should wish for Ash to be free of his cursed body, and Misty to be back to normal, but…

What did she want?

“I’m the weakest of the Elite Four… and I do resent that… I know!”

“I wish that Ash and Misty were back to normal, and that I wasn’t the weakest Elite any more!”

“Granted.” A whispery voice spoke.

Lorelei woke up to find that Agatha had died of a heart attack, Bruno had left the Elite, and Lance was… also dead.

She screamed.

ALTERNATE ENDING 1: Ash’s wish

Ash sighed in relief as the dice rolled a sufficiently high number to get him to the finish line. Never mind that it theoretically wasn’t possible with only two dice.

Hm…. Now he had a wish! What to wish for? Oh yes…

Ash grinned. “I wish that I were the world’s greatest pokemon Master, and that Misty would be nicer to me!”
“Granted…”

Pink smoke surrounded the room.

When it cleared, Ash found himself dressed in what looked like skintight leather and with someone glomped to his waist.

“Huh?”

“Kirei…” Lance purred, as he continued to nuzzle.

“Hey, wait a minute! I said I wanted Misty to be nicer to me! Why didn’t that happen?”

“Misty couldn’t be any nicer, so I killed her for you.”

“WHAT?!”

Lance purred. “Besides, I promised I’d give you the title of Pokemon Champion if you’d be my pet for the rest of your life, and you said yes!”

Ash fainted…

ALTERNATE ENDING 2: Misty’s wish

Although she had earlier been eliminated from the game, Misty had managed to get back in when Brock had kindly used a Truth card to ensure her a turn.

Now though, she grinned as she loudly proclaimed, “I wish I were prettier than my sisters and all the other women in the world!”

“Granted…”

The next day, Brock discovered to his horror that aside from Misty, there *were* no other women in the world…

ALTERNATE ENDING 3: Brock’s wish

“I wish Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy were both in love with me! And Suzie! And Cassandra! And Duplica! And…” While Brock continued to rant, the pink smoke was getting distinctly foggier…

“Insufficient power to grant wish. Please stand clear.”

The game exploded.

ALTERNATE ENDING 4: Bruno’s wish

Bruno triumphantly moved his Machamp to the Finish line. “All right!”

There were so many possibilities? What to wish for? He didn’t know, but… hmm… maybe….

He could have Lorelei fall in love with him! Yes!

“I wish that I was married to Lorelei!”

“Granted…”

Bruno’s vision blacked out. When he woke up, he found a fat baby in his arms and a Jynx regarding him with a patronizing look.

“What the?”

Great was his horror when he found out that he had raped Lorelei, and been forced to marry her as a consequence. Now, she traveled the world as ice master, leaving him to take care of their misbegotten child.

Oh no….

ALTERNATE ENDING 5: Lance’s wish

Lance looked on silently as the silver Dragonite flew past the finish line. This game was a dangerous thing indeed…

He was surrounded by pink smoke as the room vanished.

What is your wish, mortal?”

“To not have one.”

“… WHAT?!”

“You heard what I said.” Lance said.

“But-but… what about the other cursed players?”

“They wouldn’t do anything for me if I was cursed, Misty will be happier as a child this time around, since Lorelei’s already writing up adoption papers, and besides, Ash needs to get in touch with his real form.”

“… What?”

“No wish for my wish.” Lance said firmly. * Wishing for love isn’t fair… *

The smoke had dispersed and the game was gone by the time he returned to earth. Brock and Bruno were lip-locked, Lorelei was cooing to a baby Misty, and Ash had taken his discarded cloak and covered herself with it.

Lance stalked over to Ash and pulled her up into a kiss as the girl squeaked. “Lance! What are you-?”

Yes, life would be rather interesting from now on…

End Chapter

End Fic!

Completed 4/27/05

Phantomness: *dies*

Lance: …

Ash: Oh well, could be… worse?

I am a very biased person, yes I am. This is going in the written as crack Archive!