I will finish this if it’s the last thing I do!!

Disclaimer: As it is, pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. CCS belongs to CLAMP and Kodansha. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me.

Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks

Ash = Red

Chapter 8

They sat on the porch swing in the sunlight on the front porch.

It rocked.

Simple, rhythmic, harmonic motion was awfully hard to achieve in a fast-paced life without solid ground under one’s feet.

But emotions did not equal physics.

Everything liked stability though, and staying in the lowest energy state helped. [1] He just let the sunlight shine on his face as he closed his eyes.

He could feel Lance do the same besides him.

Well, come what may, they would find some way to weather it through.

Somehow.

Cypress died.

Death had been coming for him, and he knew it. Ash didn’t.

Still… after the initial shock, he had cried himself out.

“You see,” The lawyer said. “Since you’re only fifteen, I’m afraid you will have to go in foster care.”

“Wait.” Lance said, Ash starting. He had only ever heard Lance speak using telepathy. “Can I take possession of him?”

“And what is your relation to the family?”

“I’m his cousin.” Lance lied.

The man raised his eyebrows. “Can you prove it?”

Lance smirked as his golden eyes flashed once. A few minutes later, he walked out with the necessary papers.

“Sugoi… Lance-chan, did you hypnotize him?” Ash asked when they were home.

< Hai. >

“Kakkoii…”

< It was necessary. You did not want foster care, did you? >

“No!”

< Then I will not let them take you, Chosen. >

Besides, he _had_ sworn that oath of loyalty to his Chosen’s father, and he did not break his word. Ever.

He woke up that night, hearing his Chosen crying. < Chosen? >

“I miss him already…”

It had been scant hours since he died and the funeral wasn’t even until Wednesday, but…

It still hurt!

Why did his father have to die?

He wasn’t even that old, only thirty-eight…

It wasn’t fair! Why him?

Why not, say, some bum on the street or some crime lord? Why _his_ father?

I already lost mom!

Now I’m losing dad too!

“Lance-chan…”

The guardian held him while he cried his eyes out, before subsiding to sniffles. It didn’t really make the pain go away, but somehow it helped…

Why?

He didn’t know how to make his Chosen happy again.

Was that love then? Wanting someone to be happy?

But he did wish he could help Master Ash.

He… maybe he didn’t ‘hate’ him anymore. Maybe he might ‘love’ him, but it wasn’t that yet.

Friendship? Maybe…

He was still a child…

Guardians aren’t children, they may not have lived that long but they know what is expected of them and how to perform… under normal circumstances.

This was _not_ normal circumstance.

What was he supposed to do? He doubted even Clow-sama, in all his wisdom knew.

But guardians didn’t love, did they?

Well, Yue was an exception.

Still… what to do? What to do?

He didn’t relish the act of feeling flustered. That wasn’t normal! Guardians were supposed to be calm and composed, at least moon guardians.

What a wreck the world was in…

Still, he held his Chosen and prayed for the best.

He wasn’t sure what else to do.

Ash finally fell into a fitful sleep, still clutching Lance.

What to do? What to do?

The guardian sighed before he joined Ash in slumber, making sure his magic level was steady so he was still breathing…

Good…

They would just have to deal with grief the same way as ‘love’ maybe?

After all…

Weren’t all emotions similar?

Then we’ll just take one little baby step at a time.

Is love wanting to help someone?

If that is it, I think I love him.

But I’m not sure…

The next morning, he made his Chosen soft-boiled eggs and fed him.

Red was still sad, but at least he wasn’t crying buckets yet.

Yes, things took time. Maybe he would get past grief.

But first, there was still the funeral…

He’d have to learn how to survive that too.

< Chosen? Who else is going? >

“Just my father’s ‘friend’, and a few of his fellow employees from Devon.”

< Ah… >

“I think he’s my dad’s lover.”

< … Lover? >

“Um… they’re in love…” Ash said, trying to explain.

This one didn’t seem to be working either. Ah well.

They’d find out when the time came.

Chapter complete!

Completed 7/20/04

[1] – This is a reference to my chemistry honors teacher sophomore year, when we were learning about electrons... ^-^ I miss him, he moved to Ohio I think… great teacher, Mr. Flores…

I know there are physics definitions here… well, I guess that’s the way my brain works…