Whee!
Shadow holds up a hand-lettered, blue print, very cheap cardboard sign that says ‘I do not own pokemon; it belongs to Nintendo’. Then, she pulls out a laptop that has the following scrolling text on it. ‘This non-profit, non-copyright fanfic belongs to me and I own it under international copyright laws.’ Then, she pulls out a scythe that says ‘Plagiarism will be prosecuted!’
Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks! Humor fic since I’m sick of all that angst… implied Championshipping (Lance x Ash and Red x Lance), cross-dressing, Lance as Lugia’s child, anime and Pokemon Special crossover, other pairings later, including Ash x Jasmine.
Summary: Revelation after revelation, two worlds have merged, but they were never really separate in the first place. What of unfortunate duplicates then?
Timeline: Right after Red Gyarados Episodes
Title: Revelation
“Lorelei, you will not believe the day I had.” Lance said, as he collapsed on the coach after having keyed his way into the mansion the Elite Four shared in Indigo Plateau. The ice trainer raised an eyebrow.
“Do tell. I thought you simply had a routine mission.”
Lance sighed. “Did you ever, in your travels, meet a trainer named Ash Ketchum?”
Lorelei winced in sympathy. She had an idea where this was going. “Don’t tell me…”
“He was about to get skewered on a Fearow’s beak when I arrived. Dragonite took care of those birds right quick, and I told them to leave Lake of Rage and head back to Mahogany Town.”
“And they didn’t of course.”
“Guessed right.”
“And you had to pull a heroic rescue and blow your cover in the meantime?”
“How did you guess?”
“I didn’t.” Lorelei replied. “I know because you forgot to turn off your walkie-talkie. Your entire conversation for the day was broadcast…”
“WHAT?”
Lorelei smiled. “Bad day, ne? I’ll make you some cocoa and I’ll tell you about what happened when I met their little gang in the Orange Islands. Misty started getting hearts when she saw me. It was very disturbing!”
“I bet.”
“At least the chance of something like that happening in the future is practically nonexistent.” Lance said confidently.
The doorbell rang.
“Expecting visitors?”
“None that I know of. Might be another challenger. I’ll get it.”
Lance settled back on the couch. “Maybe its Agatha. I haven’t seen her in a few months. She was going on a trip to Ecruteak to teach Morty about ghost pokemon.”
“Might be.” Lorelei opened the door, and blinked.
“… How did you get our address?”
“I asked Officer Jenny!” Ash said proudly. “The Elite Four live at Indigo Plateau after all!”
Lance spat out his cocoa and fled for his bedroom before being spotted. His dragons would have been proud of the speed that he achieved.
“I… um… I brought these for Lance!” Ash proudly displayed a bouquet of dandelions.
“…?” Lorelei blinked several times. “Right…”
“Is he
home?”
Guessing that her cousin was
likely to skewer Ash, barbecue him and feed him to Dragonite, Lorelei decided
that a ‘No’ would be safer.
“Sorry, he’s a busy man, you know, working for the G-men and all…”
“But I really want to apologize!”
Lorelei choked. “Ah… we… don’t have anywhere for you to stay.”
In response, Ash cheerfully grinned and un-strapped his sleeping bag and tent. “Don’t worry! I came prepared! How soon will he be home?”
“Not for a while?”
“I’ve got plenty of time before the Johto League.” And with that, he began setting up his tent on the front lawn.
Lance watched this from his window with a sick, sinking feeling. Ash wouldn’t really stake out their house, would he?
Lorelei came upstairs and sighed. “He’s sure one determined little kid…”
“Why can’t he be determined about becoming a Pokemon Master or something?”
“He is. This is just on top of that.”
“Why me? Did he give you flowers?”
“Actually, yes…” Lorelei indicated a scraggly bundle of dried sea grass by her window. “Those. His taste has gotten slightly better.”
“… I’ll take your word for it.”
“Come on, you have to admit that dandelions are actually flowers.”
“For Lugia’s sake, I’m a guy!”
“…”
“Well, I mean… how would he know?”
“…”
“I didn’t hug him or anything! And he was too busy being in pain when I yanked him up to feel anything off!”
“…”
“Say something.”
“Maybe he’s perceptive?”
“He can’t tell Team Rocket is in disguise when he meets them and you think he can see through my clever outfit?”
“Hmm… maybe it’s your voice.”
“There’s
something wrong with my voice?”
“It keeps jumping octaves,
Lance… you weren’t very careful while out on duty today... it was quite high.”
“If Brock didn’t figure it out, how can Ash?”
“How do you know he didn’t?”
“This chain of talk is getting us nowhere.” Lance sighed, running his hands through his hair in a frustrated gesture. “How long do you think he’ll camp outside?”
“I’ll wager a week.”
“You’re on.” Lance slapped twenty bucks down on the table and than grabbed his suitcase. “I’m going to visit my father in Whirl Islands. I’ll be back in two weeks.”
“… He’ll notice a Dragonite flying out the window, Lance.”
“I’m borrowing your Jynx for transportation. She knows teleport.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing…”
“I do.” There was a scream, and Lance and Jynx ran out of another room, both blushing. “Why did your Jynx teleport us into Bruno’s shower?!”
“Oops?”
“…Lorelei, is there something you’re not telling me?”
“Nothing at all. Be on your way now. Jynx, get the location right this time…?”
Jynx stuck out her tongue and they teleported.
Lugia blinked as Lance arrived before waving goodbye to Jynx. < Well, this is unexpected. You don’t normally visit much. >
“I’m in hiding.”
< You are? Is it Team Rocket again? >
“Actually, I think this is worse. I’m being stalked.”
Lugia blinked several times. < Stalked? Fangirls again? >
< I think its Ash. >
< I did not know Ash was in the business of stalking. He always seemed too busy trying to become a Pokemon Master to do anything else. >
< In Lorelei’s words, it’s ‘on top of it’. >
< Ah. >
Lance set up his own tent and released his pokemon, who all went out to dine on seafood. Putting on his sunglasses, he kicked back with a glass of lemonade and decided that there was no way Ash would put his journey on hold.
Absolutely none.
Two weeks later…
“You know Lance, I’m beginning to feel a bit sorry for the poor kid.”
“What? He’s still here?”
“Mmhmm. And it’s been over two weeks. So there! Pay up.”
“I cannot believe this. Why?”
“Maybe you should ask.”
“Might as well get it over with…” Lance said, as he tucked his stun gun into his cape and walked outside.
It was three A.M. and there was no way Ash would be awake just yet. He should wait until morning.
The next morning, punctual as ever, Ash knocked on the door. Lorelei opened it and Lance gave him a brief, sleepy ‘hi’.
“Lance!”
That was all the Dragon Master heard before there was a boy firmly glomped around his waist. “What the… let go of me!”
“No.” Ash said, shaking his head.
“Why are you clinging onto me? What… are those roses?”
“For you!”
Ash grinned brightly. “I’ve got chocolates too!”
“… Um, exactly what are you
doing?”
“Proposing!”
Lance closed the door and blinked at Ash, not wanting reporters to crowd the house. “Proposing?!”
“Mmhmm.” Ash smiled brightly.
“You can’t be serious! I’m a…”
“I hacked the League database. Gary’s Porygon helped me.”
Lance blinked at him. “You what? Why I ought to send you off to jail for that…”
“But you won’t, right?” Ash re-glomped onto Lance and began to purr. Lance glared at Lorelei, who was snickering, and stalked down the hallway to his room before he opened the door and slammed it behind him, locking it.
“Now.” Lance said calmly, “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t feed you to my new Red Gyarados!”
“Because I like you?”
“Exactly what are you… proposing to me?” The roses were rather nice, not that ugly pink or yellow but a deep shade of blue almost black. Nice.
Ash popped the top off the heart-shaped box of chocolates and held them out. “Would you believe me if I said friendship?”
“Maybe.” Lance returned. Swiss Chocolate… hmm, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. “But why me?”
“You saved my life! And you’re cute! And you’re Champion!”
“I don’t
even know you!”
“But I want to know you.” Ash
grinned. “Besides, I know you have all sorts of secrets, ne… Catelyn-chan?”
Cliffhanger~!
Completed 12/21/05
Lance: Well, that’s interesting
Ash: I have a bad feeling
Red: *gives smirky smile*
Phantomness: ^^
Shoyko: Gasp! Humor!
Kairo: I’m out of retirement! *Muse jumps around*
Phantomness: I guess you are
Note: This will be Lance x Red and not Ash x Lance no matter how it starts out. And Lance is a girl
Pika-chan: *Hugs box of chocolates* Fluff!
Phantomness: Indeed
Kairo: Ah well, it’s interesting to see you finally write
humor. You’ve been writing nothing but angst for months!
Ash: And you need to write more lemon
Lance: You are such a nymphomaniac…