Another chapter…. Ugh… faints
Why do I have the Ra-damned luck to be sick during break? WHY?
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me.
Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks
Chapter 3
After returning to his apartment, Ash found an empty black backpack. He grabbed his wallet – it contained several bills, two credit cards, and a driver’s license, he noticed – and headed out to do some shopping!
Four hours later, Ash was well suited up for the camping and trainer’s life. He had also found that you could *buy* pokemon!
True, they cost about fifty to four hundred bucks each, but he didn’t care! If the bank statement he had received in the mail was correct, he was rich!
Woohoo!
Anyways. The next morning, Ash cheerfully set off on his journey. He might need a pokedex later, but for now, he’d concentrate on collecting the badges.
He spent an entire morning training his new pokemon team to see how they were.
Seadra was loyal to him, after all, he had captured him. A very fast water-type could prove useful.
The three pokemon that he had purchased – Ninetales, Raichu, and Victreebel – to replace his old team, were rather good. They had potential and were quite high level, but lacked training.
No matter. He would train them and not give up!
Two days later, a reality check came to call.
Ash looked at the giant poster on the wall, gaping. That was… that was him! Goodness gracious…
“I can’t believe it…”
“Hiya cutie.”
Ash jumped, before realizing it was someone else the girl was talking to. * Phew… *
A girl with shiny blue hair studied him. “You’re Ash Ketchum!”
“More like Ash Sexum.” Another girl laughed.
“He’s so hot!”
“I know! Totally!”
“Is it true you’re playing a Pokemon Trainer for the hot new T.V. show?”
Ash blinked.
“Of course he wouldn’t tell!”
“Yes, oh… can I have your autograph?”
“Sure.” Ash said, puffing up with pride as he signed several handkerchiefs. * Maybe this isn’t so bad? *
His cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hey sexy, how’s it going?”
Ash choked. “Who are you?”
“Your acting manager Clarissa, baka.”
“Oh!”
“You’re doing very well in your current role. Just keep going.”
“Er… okay.”
“We’ll splice in the special scenes later.”
Ash blinked. “Okay.”
What on earth did she mean by special scenes? He’d figure that out later…
“Ah, nothing like an ‘Adult Pokemon Journey’ to spice up the Lolita industry…” Clarissa hummed. “Now we’ll probably need a nice-looking girl.”
“How about one of the gym leaders?”
“Do you think they’d risk their careers, even if we *did* offer them money for these shoots?”
“Nah, who cares?” Gary asked. He chuckled. “I’ve heard that Ash and Sabrina are close, if you know what I mean.”
“Hmm…”
“Hi! I’d like to challenge you for a-!” Ash did not get any farther before the door to the Cerulean gym slammed shut in his face.
“Bastard! I can’t believe you would show your face here again!”
“What?”
Misty flung a rather heavy vase out the window at him. Ash fled.
How would he get a Cascade badge now? And what was wrong with Misty?
Ash waited, hidden in a bush, until Misty had left. Then he snuck into the gym.
Daisy, Violet, and Lily all looked up.
“Hey!”
“Nice to see you, sexy!”
“What are you here for?”
“Um… I’d like to challenge you for a badge?”
“Sure thing.” Daisy said silkily.
“Aw, but battling is no fun!” Violet pouted as she walked over to Ash. “How about we do something more exciting?”
“Like what?”
Violet grinned, as Daisy and Lily cast smoldering looks her way. “Well…”
Before Ash knew what was going on, she had dragged him upstairs, stripped off his clothing, and rather enthusiastically began making out with him. He was too much in shock to protest.
A few hours later, Violet cheerfully waved goodbye to Ash.
Ash shuddered as he sat in his hotel room that night. * Scary… *
At least he had gotten a Cascade badge out of it!
Right?
“Perfect. I always knew bugging him would come in handy.” Clarissa examined the tape. “Well, that’s enough for now.”
“It looks like he hasn’t lost his touch.”
“His naïve air makes him one of our best stars, doesn’t it?”
“Oh yes.”
Still…
Ash showered furiously, trying to scrub all evidence from his body. He was feeling kind of scared.
Maybe Misty was mad at him because… oh no! What if the rumors on that fan website were true?
That would
be horrible!
B-but he wasn’t that kind of
person to just dump girls and… and have sex with them all the time, right?
Is this what I’ve become?
It can’t be!
Just in case, however, Ash spent a few hours that night scouring the Internet for information about himself. What he found wasn’t too pleasing…
End Chapter
Started 12/22/04
Completed 1/2/05
Ash: O.O
Lance: I’d hate to be you, dear
Phantomness: Well, it’s not exactly darkfic…
Shoyko: I’m scared
Kairo: yawns
Pika-chan: Want a chocolate?
Guess what, me desktop got wiped again! ;.;