I hope my computer has finally decided to be good…
Notes: <> for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon talks!
Disclaimer: Pokémon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me.
Chapter 4
“Tell me it’s not true!”
Lance stared at her phone, then at Ash’s face on the other side. “Ash… it’s five A.M. *Why* are you calling me this early in the morning?”
“I-!”
“Is your pokemon journey not going well?”
“Lance, it’s horrible! They! I! I!”
“Yes?”
“I! I hate this! What have I become?”
“Popular? Sexy? A model?”
“No! Please! Lance, can I come over?”
“Um… no.”
“Wait! I don’t want to have sex with you! I just want to talk! Really! Please?”
For some reason, despite the rhinoplasty and facelift and collagen treatments he had gotten, something in his face still reminded her of Ash. Maybe it was the cute, ever-present black lightning bolt birthmarks on his cheekbones.
Sighing, Lance gave him her address.
“I hope I don’t regret this…”
Ash rang the doorbell timidly, expecting an outburst. If Lance was anything like Misty – well, he hoped he hadn’t hurt her *that* badly!
“Come in.”
Ash jumped as the door slid open. Lance was lying sprawled on a sofa, a shoujo manga in hand. However, her attire was solid black, it hid her curves, and with the scarlet cloak pooling on the floor from her shoulders, she honestly did look like a boy. Brilliant strands of spiked crimson hair fell in front of her face, and gold eyes stared up at him.
“Well?” Lance drawled.
“Lance, can I just talk to you?”
“Spill.” Lance said, as she headed to the kitchen and returned with a cup of hot chocolate. Ash smiled, seeing the pikachu on the cup.
“I… Lance, I hate this life! It’s completely wrong! I’m a stupid *model*, and I go around sleeping with girls! That’s how I got the Cascade badge! And I’m afraid, what if in the past I hurt the other gym leaders too? I know I hurt Misty, since she threw a vase at me, and I! I! Oh, what do I do? I’m so disgusting!”
“Slow down.”
Ash took a gulp of hot chocolate. “I slept with Violet.”
“Oh?”
“Don’t you… care?”
“Why should I? We’re not friends, are we?”
Ash suddenly looked at the hot chocolate askance. Lance wouldn’t poison him, right? That wasn’t like her at all! No!
“I-I guess not…”
“I wouldn’t poison you.”
“Huh?” * How did she guess? *
“There’s nothing in that cup except for chocolate syrup and heated milk.”
Ash took another sip. It tasted normal enough. He put the cup down and sighed. “What have I become?”
“You tell me…”
Silence jangled for a few minutes as Ash tried to sort out his disorganized thoughts. It was hard, though.
“Lance… what happened?”
“I told you what I knew already.”
“You’re hiding something.”
There was a sharp intake of breath. “Oh? You noticed. I applaud your skill. Normally I’m good at hiding these things…”
“What is it?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Lance looked away. “It hurts too much.”
Back in the modeling agency/porn studio where Ash worked, Clarissa wondered why the miniature video recorder she had placed on Ash was not working.
Hopefully he wasn’t doing anything important…
“Did I… did I rape you?” Ash asked hesitantly. * Please mew, no! I’ll kill myself if that happened! *
Lance blinked. “No!”
“Phew…” His heartbeat returned to normal slightly. * Maybe it’s a family thing and I shouldn’t pry… ok! I won’t! *
“It wasn’t you who hurt me.” * Least not directly… *
“That’s good.” Ash smiled. “So… um…” He fiddled with the tablecloth. “What should I do?”
“What do you mean? Continue your pokemon journey like you wanted, isn’t that the best thing? Or am I wrong?”
“I’m not sure now.”
“You mean what happened with Violet? Don’t worry, she’ll spread her legs for any good-looking guy.”
“No! That’s not what I meant! Aren’t you mad?”
“Your affairs are your own Ash…”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Then what do you mean? Quit dallying around the subject then.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“Do *you*?”
Unfortunately, Ash wasn’t sure he had an answer for that. He knew it wasn’t a good thing, what was happening now, and well…
Okay. He was selfish.
He wanted someone to protect him. Anyone! But he didn’t trust most people.
Would Lance do it?
The battle of wills stretched on. Finally, Ash gave up. He couldn’t stand looking into those accusing eyes any longer. What right did he have to happiness now?
“I wonder how many other girl’s lives I’ve ruined…”
“Who knows? Could be hundreds.”
“Lance, you’re so cruel – no! You aren’t! I deserve this!”
As he began crying, Lance kicked her conscience out of her mind and embraced him not lovingly, just holding him.
After all, no one wants to cry alone…
I’ll help you then. We’ll try to put the pieces of your life back. And, Lugia help me, I still love you…
“Hate myself…” Ash muttered. “I don’t deserve this…”
“Hush.”
“I don’t know how it happened… wish I hadn’t… why am I so horrible?”
Lance did not reply.
“Why? What purpose was there for me to hurt them? What good did it do? I doubt I can even enter the league now. No dream… nothing! And for what? Beauty? Mew, what happened? Why this? Why….”
End Chapter
Completed 1/2/05