The moral of this story is – don’t make stupid wishes!
Disclaimer: I don’t own pokemon. This non-profit,
non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me, so don’t take my work!
Notes: <> For telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics if a pokemon
talks
Chapter 5
Having finally cried himself out, Ash had the grace to apologize.
“Now Ash.” Lance said. “What we need is a plan of action.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m going to check the League records. You stay put and start brainstorming what you’ll do in case any girl jumps you again.”
“H-hai!”
Lance flipped open her laptop and began scanning. Oh, this was *not* good… Erika and Sabrina had been two of Ash’s other conquests, apparently.
Well, he wouldn’t be getting those two badges then.
Lance prayed Ash hadn’t hit on any of the male gym leaders, but that didn’t’ seem to be the case, luckily enough.
Hmm…
“How bad is it?” Ash asked. He had been trying to concentrate, and it had worked – for a few minutes. Then, his mind had wandered and he began counting the dratinis on Lance’s dratini-print wallpaper.
“Quite.”
“Oh no!”
“I think Indigo League’s not possible now.” Lance began scanning Johto. “On the other hand, Johto also has a league…”
“Oh, I hope so!”
“You could try Johto instead… but first, I think we’d better do something about your hair.”
“I know! I don’t know why it’s so straight! I mean, my hair’s naturally spiky!”
“Hai, I know.”
“Then what?”
“Japanese hair treatment using chemicals. If you left you hair alone for a few months, it’d spike back up… at least the top of your head would. The straight parts would stay straight.”
“How scary…”
“But that’s not the point. We’re going to disguise you.”
“Why?”
“So girls will be less likely to jump you, that’s why!”
“Oh!”
Lance dug around in the drawers for a few minutes, fishing out a pair of oversized green sunglasses. “We’ll wear those to hide your eyes, and hold on…”
“Yuck! Foundation? Lance! I don’t want to wear makeup!”
“Well, dear, you’ll have to if you want to hide your birthmarks…”
Ash scowled.
“Now what color would you like your hair to be?”
“Um… what?”
Lance had an armful of hair-dye kits out. “Well?”
“Why do I have to dye my hair?”
“For the exact same reason. I’d recommend this silver, no one will recognize you….”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ll bet you ten dollars.”
“Deal!”
While Lance dabbed foundation over Ash’s cheeks and then spent an hour beating his hair into shape, Ash’s mind wandered.
She said we’re not friends anymore, but… why is she doing this?
Is it so I won’t bother her in the future?
But I *want* to get to know her again! Oh, this stupid wish – it has to be the wish I made at my birthday party!
Still, I
wasn’t expecting this!
Mom was right. Wishing never
got you anywhere…
Springy, bouncy, silver curls greeted Ash as Lance showed him his reflection in her mirror. He restrained the urge to scream.
How… how humiliating!
“Are you sure no one will recognize me?”
“Thought we were betting on that…”
“Oh yeah.”
“You know, you don’t look a thing like you used to… but that’s to be expected, after all those surgical procedures.”
“Huh?”
“Your eyes are too high up. Haven’t you noticed?”
“Yeah, sometimes I have to squint to see things.”
“Botched face lift, but it looks good on you. Now your nose…well, that’s fake, as to be expected.”
Ash winced as he rubbed his nose.
“Your lips have been supplemented with collagen. Luckily, you don’t need to get weekly injections or they would have drooped already.”
Ash’s hands flew up to his mouth protectively. * I’m going to be sick… *
“I’d continue, but I won’t.”
“Please don’t!”
“As you wish.”
Handing him back his pokedex, with a new picture and name (What? You think League Champion can’t do anything? I’ve got access to all the trainer data almost no one else does), Lance bade Ash farewell.
“Hope the past doesn’t catch you this time.”
“Me too.” * But somehow, meeting you… I wouldn’t mind getting caught by you, not really…”
After he had gone, Lance spent several minutes throwing soft things around.
“Why can’t I let it go?”
I don’t know.
“Didn’t ask for your opinion, Hakuryuu.”
Lance’s Dragonair stretched himself out on the ground. So? Maybe he’ll come back to you. After all…
“What?”
You’re prettier than any of those girls!
“Sorry, but I think you’re mistaken there. Besides, he’ll be in Johto. I doubt I’ll see him until the League meets.”
You never know…
End Chapter
Completed 1/2/05