Disclaimer: Pokemon and its characters are the property of Satoshi Tajiri and 4kids productions. Questions? Comments? Flames? Email me at sammis@dotsafe.net Viva Las Vegas!! by PsYCho sAm Chapter 1: James rolled over in his sleeping bag. He looked at the date on his watch. 2-09. "Is this true?" he thought. He looked again, to be sure. Yep. It was Febuary ninth, the day he turned 19. "Yes!! It's my birthday!!" he thought. Jessie woke up next to him. The last thing James saw was a mallet headed directly for his skull. Everything went black. He woke up, dazed. He couldn't see. "What the--?" "Oh, James. You've woken up." He heard Jessie's soft fluttering voice. He realized he had a blindfold on. He felt around where he was sitting. It was the backseat of a car. He could feel the movement. "Why did you hit me with a mallet, Jessie?" He heard Meowth's soft snickering. "I have a little surprise for you. We're not there yet, so just relax for now." He sat back in the seat. "She remembered my birthday." He thought. "Where is she taking me? Maybe to a romantic dinner for two, and then I get to kiss her goodnight!" He smiled at the thought. "Okay, you can take the blindfold off now, James!!" He removed the black cloth. The sun was setting and all the neon lights were blazing. "It's-it's Las Vegas!!!" Jessie smiled at him. "All-you-can-eat-buffet galore!!" She said, knowing he loved food. "I love to play poker!!And slots!!!" "Get ready for the most exciting night of your life!!" said Jessie, handing him a fake I.D. that said he was 23. "And I'm going to laugh my head off when you both get hangovers!!!" said Meowth. She threw him out the car window. They parked in front of a big casino and went in. They came out with only a little more than they had started with. "I'm starving. Let's say we get a little something to eat?" said James. Later, at the buffet, James was starting on his 11th portion and Jessie was nursing a plate of salad. "A little something to eat?" Jessie said to herself. Finally, James finished. They paid and headed to the most popular bar in town. The waitress came up to them "What'll you have?" "Um, two 220's." After the waitress left, a drunk at the next table turned to them. "Who's gettin' the 220?" "Um, I am." Said James. "You know why they call it the 220?" "Why?" "Because it's 220% alcohol!!!" The drunk gave a wheezy laugh at his little joke. His breath was awful, and his teeth were all rotten. James started to turn away, but the drunk brought another thing up. "You know, there's a record at this here bar. I hold it. I drank 10 220's in a row without passing out!!" "I could try to beat that." Said James. "Me too." Said Jessie. "Good luck. You a first time heavy drinker?" "Um..yeah." "I guess." "Hmm. Your kind can't usually go past 6." The waitress brought back their drinks. The drinks were orange and foamy. "Keep 'em coming." Said James to the waitress. "Why, you trying to beat the record??" she replied. "Yes." "Good Luck, you'll need it." They chugged and chugged and chugged. After 8 drinks, they were about to pass out. "I Quit." Said James. Then it all went black. James woke up. He was lying on the floor in nothing but a speedo. His mouth tasted like an ashtray and his hair and body was all messy and sticky. He went to look at his watch. It was 1:30 pm. Then something sparkly on his finger caught his eye. It was a wedding ring. "Nooooooooooooooo!!!!" He suddenly heard a bloodcurdling scream from a few feet away. Jessie was standing there in lacy langerie that barely covered her assets, looking at her hand in shock. It was an identical wedding ring. Meowth walked into the room. "Well, well, well. I see the newlyweds are ready for a honeymoon. Even though I'm pretty sure they already had one judging by the clothing-or lack thereof." James stared in horror at the wedding ring. It sparkled, seeming to tease him. He brought his quivering hand to his face. "No....." he said, stunned. Jessie gulped. "Uh, Meowth, would you mind telling us what went on here?!!" Her eyes were big and round. Meowth turned on the VCR in their room. "Why don't you let the tape do the talking?" He pressed play. Jessie and James were standing in front of a man in a white robe and jeans. James was wearing a schoolgirl outfit, and Jessie was in a kimono. "Do you, James, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I did who in the what now?" His voice was thick and slurred. "Do you want to marry that girl??" James looked her up and down. "Yeah, I guess so." The minister turned to Jessie. "Do you, Jessie, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband!!?" "What did you call me? You take that back!" her voice was also slurred, and she looked like she was struggling to keep her balance. "What I said was, do you want to marry James??" "O.k., you don't have to beg me." "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." "No thanks, maybe later." Said James. "But sir, it's part of the ceremony." "You're not the boss of me!!" "All I'm asking is a simple kiss to seal your marr-" "Shaddup, judge!!!" Suddenly James passed out on the floor. Jessie hit him on the forehead and he woke up. "Hello, Growlie." He said sleepily. James turned off the TV. "I definately do not want to know what happened after that!!!" Jessie looked at the ring. "Um...what do we do now?" she asked, puzzled. "I guess we've already consemmated our marriage, so...." Suddenly his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He ran over to the phone and started dialing. Jessie stared, confused. "Hello, is Jessiebell there?" She snapped to attention and started grabbing for the phone. James blocked her attacks and put his hand over the little button on the cradle of the phone. "Hey, Jez, you'll never gues what happened last night!!" Jessie started fighting him for the phone. If the news of this ever got out, she would never show her face in public again. Sure, she loved James, but getting married while drunk in Las Vegas was NOT her idea of a perfect wedding. "Me and Jessie are in Las Vegas, and-" Suddenly Jessie dove for the phone and hung up. "Don't you understand, you imbecile?!? If word of this gets out, we will be HUMILIATED!!" "Ohh, but can't I just brag about it to Jessiebell first?" "She'll tell your parents and they will think that I am a slut!!" "I thought you hated my parents." "I do, but not to their faces!! You want people with money and power to think you are a nice person!! Then you get in on the action!!" "Oh, I see." James looked at her. When she dove, she had landed on top of him. And she was still wearing the lacy goods. "Um, Jess, would you mind getting off of me? This is kind of distracting." "Oh, sorry." James got an idea. He looked around the messy room, and finally found the marriage certificates. Jessie caught on, and they checked out of the hotel and left Las Vegas to get back on their path to capture Pikachu. A couple of nights later, they both had a little extra money in their wallets, and they were snuggling in front of a campfire. The last few ashes of the marriage certificate disintegrated among the flames. Their hands were ring-free. And Meowth was out for the moment, so they decided to seal their unmarital vows with a kiss.