Stars Fell on Pallet Town

by Spruceton Spook

Part 8

Double Realization

Ash had fallen asleep immediately upon returning to his bed, feeling as if a tremendous weight had suddenly been lifted. He did not dream after that, and the next thing he knew, it was morning. It was actually Brock who had woken him up, and when he turned his head groggily to him, Brock announced that he felt like taking an early morning shower. As he left the room, Ash groaned and looked out the window.

It was Saturday. Thinking off it made Ash turn his head away grimly from his window, dreading the fact that both his parents were going to be home that day. And to think, two days before he had been eagerly anticipating it. Bah.

Suddenly, he reconsidered, clearing his mind as his attention directed itself towards Jay. Picturing him in his mind now, Ash couldn’t fight the fact that he wanted to be with his dad, and take on the challenge his father had given him the night before. Ever since Ash had fallen in love with Pokémon, he wanted to battle his dad, the one he felt responsible for introducing him to the creatures. How could he pass that up? How could he have acted that way last night?

Disgusted with himself suddenly, he pulled himself out of the bed. He glanced up at Misty, who was still sleeping peacefully, her hand drooped over the side of the bed. Knowing she would wake up with a numbing, tingly arm, Ash walked over and placed her arm back onto the bed beside her. Smiling at his good deed, Ash turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

The urge to see Jay took a sudden leap, and Ash couldn’t believe how he had just ignored him yesterday. He must not have been in his right mind, and he knew that. The good-night’s sleep settled in him pleasantly, and he figured that that was just what he needed. His spirits lifted and his nerves calmed, he stepped zealously downstairs. Although he wasn’t smiling, he felt reasonably content.

Jay wasn’t on the couch. Ash’s heart sank when he noticed this, but it wasn’t really that early; Jay could be anywhere. Knowing that Jay was definitely going to be around that day, he shrugged it off and didn’t worry. First thing was first, he was going to have a big breakfast. If he was going to battle today, he needed strength. But best of all, he was going to battle his dad. Today was going to be good after all. One of his desires was going to be fulfilled, and he walked happily and aimlessly towards the kitchen.

"Oh my God!"

Suddenly, the silent voice of Delia floated from the kitchen, and Ash froze dead in his tracks, his eyes widening nervously. He stopped abruptly in the entranceway of the kitchen, his eyes fixated on the back of his mother. All his breath suddenly escaped his lungs as the recollection of last night seeped into his memory, realizing that in the spur of the moment, after he had viciously ripped the divorce papers in half, he had carelessly dropped them into the sink, where they had abided for the remainder of the night. But now, to Ash’s horror, they were in the hands of his agnostic mom, who held them out in front of her.

Oh, God . . . , Ash moaned to himself as he found himself slowly walking backwards. No, oh crap! I forgot!

For a moment, Ash wanted to sink into the floor. He wanted to run, he wanted to escape, but his feet felt as if they were glued to the floor as he stared with terror filled eyes at his mom, who seemed to be in a state of utter disbelief as she held the dearly important contracts in her hands, now just a horde of shreds.

Ash gulped loudly, though he didn’t realize just how loudly till Delia spun around in her tracks, facing Ash with both fists full of the papers. As soon as their eyes met, Ash’s heart stopped. His mother’s eyes narrowed at him, flickering in anger, her teeth clenched into an awful frown.

"Ashton!" she said sternly, making Ash’s stomach flip-flop sickly. Her mouth started to move, but nothing came out. She was at a loss for words, but Ash knew exactly what was on her mind. And it frightened him.

Finally, the words that she couldn’t seem to find blurted out. "What’s this?" She thrust the shreds out in front of her, clearly enough for Ash to see.

Panic taking over him, Ash stuttered over his thoughts and his words. "Um, they--they’re, uhhh."

Delia glared at him, sensing his sudden intentional ignorance. Ash knew that she knew it was him; it was certain, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit to it yet. He stood there sheepishly, his mother’s eyes wearing him down. She always did this when she knew Ash was keeping something, knowing that sooner or later he would crack.

Ash tried his hardest, but as his eyes switched from Delia’s face to the papers, to Delia’s face to the papers, he suddenly became incredibly nauseous. It was no use anyway, and his mother’s stare became more and more rigid.

"Ash!" she grumbled impatiently, still holding the papers out in front of her. Ash jumped. "Explain this, now!"

Ash panicked. He was caught, and instantly the apologies came pouring from his mouth. "I’m so, so sorry, Mom! I swear I didn’t mean to do it!"

Delia shrugged angrily. "What do you mean you didn’t mean to do it?! How could you do such a thing?!" she roared, her teeth still clenching into a snarling frown.

Tears started to come to Ash’s eyes. "I don’t know," he admitted fearfully, his heart pounding immensely. "I -- I don’t know!"

"Ash, I know you don’t want this divorce, but that is absolutely no excuse for doing this!" she yelled, tossing the useless papers to the floor. At that moment, she came at Ash, causing him to immediately back up swiftly. "Do you realized what you did?!"

Ash almost yelped, but she stopped abruptly, and placed her head disconsolately in her hands. Her messed-up hair dangled around her shoulders and covered her face. For a moment, Ash could have sworn that she was coming at him to swat him a couple of times, but to his relief that had not happened. He still trembled fearfully, however. His mom rarely spanked him, but Ash found that she had a tendency to when she became this angry. And he hadn’t seen her this angry in ages.

"Get upstairs, Ashton," she mumbled, her face still in her hands, agitatedly rubbing her temples. Her head suddenly shot up and she glared fiercely at him. "Get upstairs and go to your room this instant! I have to call the town hall to see if I can get new papers. And you’d better pray that they don’t give me a hard time!"

"Mom . . . ," Ash started, holding out his arms in consolation. He was going to attempt to explain, but he didn’t get too far.

"Now!" she bellowed, pointing furiously at the stairs. She stamped her foot angrily on the floor and Ash’s heart leapt again. Shrinking back fearfully, he obediently turned and shot up the stairs. He wasn’t going to upset her any more than she already was.

As he took off up the stairs, millions of thoughts ran through his mind. He wondered first of all what had possibly went through his mind when he had ripped those papers up, and secondly why in hell had he just left them there? How stupid could he have been? Ash slapped his forehead in utter frustration and realization of his dumbness. That had to be the most stupid, brainless thing he’d ever done.

Filled with indescribable fear, Ash crashed through his bedroom door noisily, and slammed it closed, not locking it this time naturally. He rested with his back to the door for a moment, then began to nervously pace the floor. Beads of sweat cascaded down his face and he huffed large, gulping breaths of air.

His stampeding promenade awakened Misty, and she sat up in her bed looking down fretfully and confusingly at him. "Ash! What’s wrong?" she asked in a sweet, worry-filled tone.

Ash startled for a moment when he heard her voice. He looked up quickly at her, and Misty herself startled when she saw the fear rising in him illuminating from him like the sun. Ash was breathing heavily, and his fingers were running through his black hair wildly.

His voice crackled with undoubtable terror as he spoke. "Oh, Misty, I’m so dead! My mom’s gonna pound me!"

Misty’s eyebrows rose in concern. "Oh my God, what did you do?"

Ash hands fell from his hair to his mouth, where he began to chew them nervously. Misty witnessed his eyes shine over in tears, and her heart began to pump. What could Ash have possibly done to make his mom so mad at him this early in the morning?

Ash was silent for about a moment, and Misty leaned forward over the bed impatiently awaiting his response. He looked up at her sheepishly. "I tore up my parents’ divorce papers," he said quietly, his voice garbled in sobs.

Misty’s jaw dropped in shock and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "Ash! Why the hell did you do that?!"

Ash shook his head, still not really knowing himself. "I don’t know," he moaned. "I really don’t know. I -- I had them in my hands and I . . . I . . ." He trailed off there, and began to pace the floor again, holding his head shamefully in his hands.

Misty looked to the floor, suddenly at a loss for words.

"My mom’s calling the place now," Ash said, walking over to the window and looking out. Tears were spilling down his cheeks. "She’s going to kill me! And, oh my God! What if they won’t give her new papers? What if she could only have one copy?"

Ash thought he was going to have a heart attack right then and there. He actually grabbed for his chest for a second. Misty realized his insurmountable dread, and spoke up.

"Ash, don’t worry," she said, trying her best to console him. "They’ll give her new papers. You don’t have to worry about that."

Not replying, Misty could feel that he was still scared, and that it didn’t matter what she would tell him. She glanced down at him with a small, nervous smile, but not wide enough to make him mistakenly think she was happy.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked silently, thinking that her being in the room when Delia came up might be a little cumbersome. If Delia was to blow up on Ash, she certainly did not want to be present for it. For her sake and Ash’s.

Pausing, Ash looked up nicely at her. "Would you?" he politely asked.

"Of course," she replied, and immediately shuffled out of bed, grabbing Togepi with her. When Ash saw Togepi, he looked around for Pikachu, but he was not in the room. Ash figured he must have crashed somewhere else that night. Sometimes, Pikachu slept on Delia’s bed, and he could very well still be cuddled up in her blankets as they spoke.

She smiled nicely at him as she made her way past him. "Good luck," she said.

"Thanks," Ash replied timidly.

Delia came in at exactly the same time Misty left the room. Misty smiled a courteous good-morning to her, which Delia returned, though with rigidity in her voice. Misty slipped out shortly after. This stalled Delia for about a second, but that was one more second for Ash’s fear to build up. Although he couldn’t bear to think of it, he tensed and awaited to receive whatever punishment Delia was going to administer to him.

He couldn’t control his emotions, however, when Delia looked at him for the first time, the blaze in her eyes remaining as it pierced through Ash. His waterworks began again, and he broke out in a mess of sobs and pouts, folding his hands into a begging fashion.

"Please, Mom!" Ash pleaded. Delia stood with her hands on her hips, her stern frown intimidating Ash more and more by the second. "I am so, so, sooo sorry! I have no idea why I did it, I really don’t! Just, please don’t -- I--I’m . . . so . . . sorry . . ."

At this, he couldn’t say any more, and he started to sob loudly, covering his face in his hands. His eyes shut tightly to block the tears, causing him not to notice his mother’s face suddenly lighten, her eyes drooping sadly, as she watched her son pour out his apologies to her. He was truly sorry, she knew that, but her conscience battled her, debating silently whether or not she was just going to let him get away with it.

With a heavy, defeated sigh, she walked over calmly to Ash and pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around his head tenderly. She allowed Ash to bury his head into her chest as he wailed, his own arms still wrapped around himself protectively. Her body vibrated gently as Ash cried into her, coughing and sniffling just as much.

"Shhhh . . . ," she soothed sweetly, rocking him back and forth delicately. She stroked his soft hair as she rocked, then carefully led him to the one of the rollaway beds. She seated herself on the bed and Ash followed on his own, wrapping his arms around her in a comforting hug as soon as he sat. Delia squeezed him tighter, her other hand lowering to rub his back sensitively.

"It’s okay, Ash," she said mildly, closing her eyes and resting her chin gently on his head. "It’s okay now."

There was a momentary silence as this soaked into Ash, not fully coming to the realization yet that his mom had no intention of punishing him. Feeling her warm arms around him lovingly calmed his beating heart, and he sighed, unintentionally wiping his wet face on her soft bathrobe. Her hair fell down lightly on his face, tickling his sensitive skin slightly. Her pleasant smell flowed wonderfully up his nose and he smiled daintily to himself, wondering how he could ever fear her.

"I’m sorry, Mama," he apologized inaudibly again, clutching his hands around her back. "I didn’t mean to do it."

"I know," she replied , starting to rock him again. "It’s okay."

"Really?" Ash asked, looking up at her, not sure if he was ready to just accept this sudden change of heart. Sure, it may have been okay, but was that it? She was just going to let it go?

Delia nodded sincerely, her face still pulled down in an unhappy frown. But Ash knew she wasn’t mad anymore -- her face was calm, her eyes were light, and she wasn’t tense. He rested his head on her chest again, and she continued to brush his knotty hair with her fingers.

"But, Ash honey, you have to tell me why," she said, her stare directed at the ceiling. "Why did you do it?"

Ash shrugged. "I really don’t know. I just saw the papers, and -- and I snapped. I guess . . . I guess my anger just took over."

"When did you do that?"

"Last night," Ash replied. "They . . . they were just on the table and I spotted them . . ."

Delia exhaled greatly. "Now, that was my mistake. I should have put the damn things away."

"No, Mom," Ash corrected. "You should be able to trust me. And I let you down."

"But still, they were really important," she replied. "That’s just ignorance on my part. I was just so, so tired last night, it must not have even occurred to me."

Ash didn’t respond, and she looked down at him. She smiled slightly as she stared at her son, still dressed in his pajamas, his slippered feet dangled just above the floor. Poor guy, she thought. He’s gone through too much.

"I thought you guys were back together," Ash suddenly blurted out, wrenching Delia from her thoughts.

"What, baby?" she asked, not quite catching Ash’s sudden interjection.

Ash lifted his head and looked her in the eyes. His were clouded over with sadness and disappointment, and her heart sank. His mouth curled as the urge to cry came over him again. "I -- I thought . . . when I saw Dad home, that . . . that you guys were getting back together."

Delia’s heart melted. She looked at Ash and her eyes started to well up in tears at this, instantly realizing the trauma that Ash was going through. Imagine, being so full of optimism, only to have to collapse right in front of your eyes. She reached up and stroked his red, raw face.

"Oh, honey . . ."

Tears escaped Ash’s eyes. "That was my dream come true, ya know," he said. "I -- I always prayed that somehow you guys would have made up. And Dad would be there at home, waiting for me. And this time he was, and I -- I just felt so happy . . . so -- so complete."

"See, Ash?" Delia cried. "Can’t you see now why I didn’t want to tell you? I knew it would be horrible for you, and I didn’t want to hurt you."

Ash nodded, looking down.

"Ash . . ."

"You still do love him, though . . . don’t you?" Ash asked, shocking Delia. She never believed Ash would ever have asked such a question, but as he stared deeply into her eyes, she felt surrounded.

"I -- I," she stuttered, as Ash looked at her, anticipating the very important answer. Delia hated to do it, but she wasn’t going to lie to Ash. "Oh Ash, I . . . don’t think so."

Ash’s eyelids fell dejectedly. "Oh," he answered somberly.

"Ash, it’s a lot tougher than you think," Delia explained, holding Ash close to her. "I’ve considered getting back together so many times, I really did. But it -- it’s just not that easy. All I can think about is what he did, and wondering, constantly wondering if . . . if he’d ever do it again."

Ash didn’t reply. He was in deep thought, his memory flashing back to the disrupted period in his life, when he thought his life was going to end. When his mom found out that his dad had cheated on her. As Ash had grown older, he understood the situation more, often shuddering at the thought of it. He loved Jay, but he just couldn’t imagine how he would do that to his mom, hurt her that way.

"Don’t you miss him sometimes?" Ash asked softly, his head still rested cozily on her chest. "Aren’t you lonely for him?"

Delia took a deep breath; Ash could feel it. "Yes," she answered simply, causing Ash’s head to raise. "I do sometimes, but . . . like I said, I don’t think it will ever be the same between us. He’s your father, Ash. He always will be. But I think it’s time that . . . that it would be better this way. Don’t you understand?"

"I guess so," Ash replied. "I -- I just thought that maybe, well . . ."

"What?" his mother asked gently.

"I dunno," responded Ash. "I thought you still loved him. You talked about him so favorably all those times, that . . . that, well, when we talked about him."

Delia sighed. "That’s because I didn’t want to upset you. I thought if I always told you how much I hat-- didn’t like him, it would bother you."

"I’d rather you be truthful with me."

Delia sighed again, and looked out the window. Ash could sense the meaning behind the sudden silence, and he lowered his head.

"Then I will be truthful with you, Ash," she said. Ash’s eyes swept up to hers. "I don’t love him anymore. I haven’t for a while." Her voice was shaking, which Ash couldn’t help but catching. She was breathing heavily, and her eyes were shooting all over the room. "What he did to me was -- was something I hope you never have to experience. It’s . . . awful. And I want to put it all behind me, I want to get rid of it. I have to move on."

Ash stared into her eyes and Delia stared back. For a moment, nothing passed between them. As Delia’s words sank into him, he could see her eyes shaking, darting nervously. He held her hands tightly, which were cold and tight.

"If you don’t love him," he said, "and you want to move on . . . how come, all these years, you still have your wedding portraits still hanging in your room?"

Delia’s heart leapt, and she drew back slightly from Ash. He glared at her rigidly, not in a mean fashion, but in a ‘can you explain this?’ fashion. She turned her gaze away from him, and sweatdropped, which Ash trembled excitedly at.

The thought of the wedding pictures had just occurred to him then. Delia had three of them hanging above her vanity -- big, colorful 8 x 10 photos of her and Jay exchanging rings, one of them posing with the wedding party outside the church, and another of them entering their limousine. They were gorgeous, professional portraits, each framed in solid oak and inscribed "Jacey and Delia: October 14th, 1986." They had been hanging there since before Ash was born, twelve months later. He remembered looking at them when he was young, thinking how beautiful they were. And to this day, they were still there, never taken down, never put away. If his mom really hated Jay for what he had done, why didn’t she take them down?

Delia was in a jam. She trembled ever so slightly, swallowing heavily. She pulled her hands away from Ash and wrung them nervously, finally finding the courage to look at her son.

"I guess I just never had the ambition to do it," Delia replied. She clenched her teeth shut, just realizing then that she had deceived Ash again. She loved the pictures, she couldn’t help but admit. Her wedding day, besides the day she had Ash, was the happiest day of her life, and even after Jay had left, the thought of the event brought a warm, happy feeling over her. No later to be replaced by a depressing one, thinking of how something she thought was so right turned out to be so wrong.

"Besides, I paid a damn lot of money for them," she continued, stifling a small chuckle.

Ash smiled slightly, but soon Delia stood up, patting him softly on the shoulder and kissing him on top of his head.

"I guess you guys want breakfast," she said. "Your dad will be home from the store soon, so I should have breakfast ready."

"Okay," Ash said, still sitting in the same position, his heart pumping vigorously.

As she walked out the door, she suddenly stopped and looked back at him. "I wasn’t planning on going anywhere today, but later I . . . I have to go to Viridian City to get new papers. Just -- just to let you know."

"Sorry," Ash said silently.

Delia smiled. "I told you, it’s okay. It’s behind us now, all right?"

Ash brushed his foot along the ground. "You aren’t going to tell Dad, are you?" he asked with small, puppy-dog eyes.

"No," she answered, smiling. "I won’t."

Ash smiled, and she left the room. He plopped down on the bed, the whole morning’s event swirling in his head. He was alive, and he couldn’t believe it! But that was one of the last things on his mind.

Misty came in a little after that, and she found Ash looking up at the ceiling, engaged in thought. She modestly knocked on the door and Ash’s head lifted. He didn’t look too happy, and Misty tensed.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"No," Ash replied, and she sweatdropped. He stared sincerely at her and she backed away a little.

"What?" she asked nervously, not liking the way he was looking at her.

"She still likes him."

"Huh?"

Ash took a deep breath. "She still likes him and he likes her, and come hell or high water, I’m gonna do what it takes to help."

TO BE CONTINUED . . .