youdontknow

My disclaimer: I don't own Poke`mon. I don't own the song. So Many Nights

~Who could know the emptiness inside
Every time I see your face?
Too many feelings left behind
Do you wonder why
I turn away when you look at me,
Never wanting your eyes to see
This desperate heart that knows
How perfect we could be...~

James lay awake in his sleeping bag on the hard floor. They had made their way to one of the Team Rocket cabins to stay the night in, and by now Jessie and Meowth were sawing logs.
But James couldn't sleep. All he could think about was Jessie. He turned over onto his side and watched her sleeping peacefully. God, she's beautiful.... he thought. He had probably imagined a thousand ways to tell her he loved her, but something always went wrong. How could I tell her? She seems so happy, and I don't want to ruin that. James wanted to tell her. He had to, because it was eating him up inside. But the words just never came out.

~Baby, 'cause you don't know
How I feel
Livin' my life without you.
Baby, and you don't know
What it's like
Lovin' you all this time.
I'll give you all my love,
Heart and soul,
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most,
You don't know...~

James rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. He remembered how he had done that as a small boy. He just stared at the ceiling on those sleepless nights and plan how he would run away from home. It had all seemed so perfect until he actually did run away, and he found himself lost and alone and hungry. And just when he had pretty much lost his last thread of hope, he met Jessie. Not only had she saved his life, but she gave him a reason to keep living. James had always relied on her for strength, and he knew that without her, he probably wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. He may very well still be at home, married to that awful Jessiebelle. No, he would never have married that witch. He would have killed himself first. So, in that sense, he may be dead now. But Jessie saved him. He regarded her as sort of his angel on Earth. He looked back at her and smiled. The moonlight pouring in the window danced over her form, giving her an ethereal look. She really *is* an angel, he thought.

~All I ever wanted in this world,
Baby found in you.
I never felt this way before,
But I can't break through
And now I lie awake, alone at night
So afraid now to close my eyes,
That just one more dream of you
I'll carry here inside...~

James rolled to his stomach as a wave of sadness washed over him. It was times like this, thinking about all that Jessie brought to his life, that made him want to rush over to her and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. Still, he knew that he couldn't, and it killed him. I've got to get out of here, he thought. He got up and went outside, and found a medium sized rock near the edge of a cliff, just outside the back door. He sat down on it and gazed out at the valley below and the moon and stars above. He sighed, wondering if she had any idea how he felt. Probably not, he decided. Still, he had always thought that if Jessie was his, he would give her the universe.

~And I would hold you all through the night,
I would stay right by your side,
and I'd give you the world if your love was mine.
But baby could it be I'm only dreamin'?
Don't let it pass me by...~

James exhaled wistfully. "I love you, Jessie," he whispered to no one. "And someday, I will tell you...." He promised himself that he would as his eyes filled with tears. And, lowering his head into his hands, James cried his breaking heart out to the night.

*~Yeah, all right, another songfic!!! I write way too many of these! GAAAH!!!!!!!! Oh, well, where there's a sappy love song, there is Sunlight Rocket, ready to write a "good" (heh-heh ^_^*), Rocketshippy (yea! ^_~) songfic!!!!
(And Yugure is there to read the flames, so I don't have to!! Such a sweet Meowth, isn't she?)
~Bye now!!!~~*