The Secret of MissingNo

By Mandy Nader

“So where are we gonna hide out?” Jeremy asked as they finally reached the warm sands of Cinnabar Island. The sky was tinged a bright orange, streaked with bright pink clouds, as the sun slowly sank toward the horizon. Orange light sparkled in the waters of the western ocean. The group was tired, having walked all day to reach their destination.

“We need to be somewhere close to the Cinnabar Pokemon Center, that’s for sure,” added Rose. “If the cops are pursuing us, they might use Sapphire as bait to trap us. I don’t even wanna think what might happen if they captured us again…” She shuddered at the thought.

Eric Stone smiled. “Leave that part to me. After those Glitches escaped, the original Cinnabar Lab where I worked was shut down and deserted. Never thought I’d be coming back here, but…” The professor jingled a ring of keys. “Unless they’ve changed the locks, we’ll be perfectly safe and undisturbed here, at least for tonight. And if I recall correctly, the research team left some coffee and snacks here too.”

“Huh, guess you’ve got some use after all,” grunted Butch. Eric smiled wryly. It seemed a back-handed compliment was the nicest Butch was capable of.

As Eric fiddled with the lock on the abandoned laboratory, Jeremy looked up and watched a few birds flying overhead. Suddenly, a single bird, a scraggly-looking Pidgeotto, detached itself from the others and swooped down towards him. Jeremy reached for a Poke Ball at his belt, ready to defend himself, when he noticed the blue cap of a mail-delivery Pokemon. The bird clutched a small parcel in its talons.

The Pidgeotto landed softly on the beach and presented Rose with the parcel.

“Are you sure this is for me?” she asked quizzically.

The Bird Pokemon nodded its feathery head.

Butch snorted. “Like anyone would send you somethin’.”

Jeremy pointed to the address as he handed Rose the parcel. “It says, ‘For Rose of Team Rocket’, I guess that has to be you.”

Meanwhile, Eric had finally gotten his key to work in the rusty lock, and he hurried the group inside. “We’ve got to get out of sight immediately. Once word of your escape gets out, they’ll be searching all over Kanto for us,” he advised, nervously glancing over his shoulder. “Stay close, everyone, and watch your step. The lab might be a bit of a mess.”

The laboratory was eerily quiet, and an unpleasant chemical odor wafted from an unknown source. The main room was lit only by one dull fluorescent emergency light, which bathed the room in a dim bluish glow.

Abandoned laboratory equipment lurked in shadowy corners of the room, hulking structures with unknown purposes. Yellowed research notes littered the laboratory floor, covered with sinister chemical stains. Large glass cylinders stood along the eastern wall of the laboratory, next to a smashed window. Two of these cylinders were shattered, and a smelly yellowish sludge coated the ground.

Rose cradled her small Meowth in her arms, looking around nervously. “This place gives me the creeps,” she admitted shakily.

“Me too,” added Jeremy. Broken glass crunched under his sneakers. “It’s like… you can tell something bad happened here. I can just feel it.”

“What’s in there?” asked Butch, examining one of the intact glass cylinders. “Looks like there’s somethin’ moving inside…”

“Nothing to see inside that thing,” said Stone hurriedly. “Just some congealed fluids that probably smell rather nasty.” Butch made a face and stepped away from the cylinder, as Eric inwardly sighed with relief.

“The break room is just up ahead,” continued the professor, hurrying the group forward. “I figure we can rest there until the Pokemon Center closes and we plan our next illegal move.” He added this with just a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

*****

“I wonder what this is supposed to be,” mused Rose, sitting on one of the break room’s folding chairs and opening the mysterious mail parcel. “I’m not expecting any mail…”

“What are you doing? Don’t open that!” yelled Eric Stone. He glanced away from the cabinets he was rummaging through. “It could be dangerous!”

“Dangerous? Pffft,” said Rose flippantly. “Like what, a mail bomb?”

“You are a Team Rocket member,” remarked Jeremy, grabbing another chair and sitting on it backwards. “You’ve probably made lots of enemies, right?”

“Nah, only high-ranking Rockets make enemies,” commented Butch derisively as he sprawled out on the floor. “Nobodies like her ain’t worth the effort.”

Rose shrugged. “You’re probably right, Botch,” she said, not even facing in the male Rocket’s direction as he growled at the nickname. “I never gave anyone an especially hard time. So it’s not like anyone’s out for my neck.”

She finally ripped the package open to reveal a small wooden box, covered with strange markings.

“What’s that, some kinda jewelry box?” asked Jeremy, leaning forward for a closer look.

“Anythin’ good inside that?” asked Butch, sitting up and feigning interest. He was, of course, planning to swipe its contents if valuable.

Rose cautiously opened the lid and peered inside. An odd look came over her face. “Somebody sent me… a box of weird Scrabble tiles?”

“That’s ridiculous, it can’t possibly be…” began Eric, walking over and looking inside the box. “…but it is. Scrabble tiles.” He shook his head in confusion and resumed his search for instant coffee and snacks.

“You idiots don’t know what yer talkin’ about,” snorted Butch. “It’s obvious this is…” and stopped. “Huh, whaddya know.”

Rose just stared at the box in bemusement. “Is that it?” she asked, spilling the contents onto the floor. There was nothing but a pile of odd-looking letter tiles.

Jeremy picked up the box, noticing a small piece of paper taped to the inside of the lid. “Hey, Rose, maybe this’ll tell you something,” he said, removing the paper.

The girl reached for the paper and began reading it aloud. “‘Dear Rose, I came across this in my travels and instantly thought of you. I remember how much you like mysterious things and wanted you to have this. Not quite sure what it is, though. Love always, Dad.’ Oh my gosh… Dad…” Her voice trailed off as she stood staring at the note.

“Hey, Rose, you ok?” asked Jeremy.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said softly. “I just haven’t heard from him in so long… it’s nice to know he’s still out there somewhere…”

Jeremy had the strong suspicion that there was something Rose wasn’t telling him about her father, but he didn’t have the heart to pry further into her private affairs.

“Oh well,” she said with a shrug. “I guess these things are supposed to be something mysterious, even though they just look like Scrabble tiles to me.”

“What are we supposed to do with these?” mused Stone, turning one over in his hand.

“Well ya know,” began Jeremy, smiling sheepishly, “we do have to wait till midnight for that Pokemon Center to close before we get your Articuno back. Why don’t we start a game?”

“Oh please,” grumbled Butch. “Why don’t we just bash our heads against a brick wall instead? I’m sure that’d be more exciting than playing board games all night.”

“Oh lighten up,” snapped the usually calm Eric. Butch’s constant bad attitude was wearing his patience thin. “You know, you’d be a lot more tolerable if you’d learn to have a little fun with life.”

“Oh yeah? Well you’d be a lot more tolerable if…”

“Cool it!” yelled Rose. “Look, Butch, nobody’s making you play if you don’t want to. If you’ve got your heart set on being miserable, fine. But we’re gonna make the best of this long wait ahead of us, so go sulk elsewhere.”

“Anyone got something to use for a board?” asked Jeremy as Butch stalked out of the room. The male Rocket just couldn’t understand how these idiots could be amused by something as dumb as a board game.

After a few moments, he returned, having found nothing better to do. Still, he didn’t want to give those three losers the satisfaction of seeing they were right, so he stood outside the slightly open door and watched.

They had constructed a crude board from an old piece of cardboard and were attempting to play, despite the unusual looking pieces. They had also found some instant coffee, a bag of corn curls, and a box of pretzels. Butch felt the smallest twinge of jealousy as he watched the three friends eating and laughing together. Like I’d want to hang out with that bunch of rejects, he thought, trying to push feelings of loneliness out of his mind.

Suddenly, Jeremy began laughing at something his brother had said and accidentally knocked over one of the coffee cups. Rose gasped and quickly righted the cup, but it had already drenched the entire board and most of the letter tiles. Butch snickered to himself. Serves those losers right, he thought snidely. But suddenly he froze when he noticed an odd bluish glow emanating from the damp tiles.

Within moments, a bluish-purple light had filled the entire room and strange letter-shaped Pokemon circled the board, humming in bizarre harmonies.

“Unowns?” asked Jeremy and Eric.

“I captured a full set of Unowns,” began Rose, wide-eyed, “but I never actually tried to train them… do they usually appear from nowhere and start doing this?”

Eric’s face had gone white. “Th-this is highly… unusual, but… not- not unheard of…”

Suddenly, the Unowns’ orbits became more agitated, and they began to spin wildly around the room, as if searching for something.

“What’s going on?” asked Jeremy worriedly.

“Everyone, remain calm… everything is going to be ok… at least, I hope so,” Eric said shakily. “I read about something like this once, but…”

All at once, the Unowns, now glowing a bright purple, began circling Rose. Their humming increased by a few decibels.

“I’m scared!” cried Rose. “I’m so sorry I opened that box! Somebody help me!”

There was a brilliant flash of light, and a loud rumbling noise as the walls suddenly became covered by an odd crystal growth.

“ROSE!” shouted Jeremy and Eric. Butch, cowering in the hallway, began calling for his mommy.

Then the light dimmed, and the Unowns vanished as quickly as they appeared. When Jeremy and Eric could see again, they were relieved to see that Rose appeared to be perfectly fine. What stood next to her, however, caused them to jump with surprise.

It was a large quadruped Pokemon, standing well over six feet in height, covered in shaggy brown fur with imposing silver slats on its back. Between its shoulders flowed a plume of brilliant blue energy.

Rose turned to face the legendary creature, a look of complete awe on her face. “Are you… Entei?” she asked incredulously.

“Kinda… but not quite,” Entei answered, the majesty of his deep, resonating voice undermined by the uncertainty of his words.

“Huh?” asked Jeremy, once he found his voice. “How can you ‘kinda’ be Entei? Either you are, or you aren’t. Er, no offense of course…” he quickly added, realizing the creature was at least three times larger than his brother.

“Ok, let me try to explain,” began the huge furry creature. “Did you ever hear the story of Professor Hale?”

“I’ve done some research on Hale’s story,” answered Eric slowly, “but I don’t think anyone else here knows about him. The information I managed to gather was very hard to find.”

“All right, then. I’ll tell you what I know. Hale was a researcher who disturbed a whole bunch of Unowns, and got dragged into this strange parallel universe. The strangest part was, although his body was trapped in the world of the Unowns, his soul joined with this legendary Pokemon, Entei. His memories and thoughts were fused with Entei, and he was able to take care of his little daughter while he was physically in another world.”

“Ok,” said Jeremy slowly, “then what happened?”

“The little girl tapped into the Unowns’ power and was able to create everything she thought she wanted. But when she realized that sometimes it’s better not to get everything you want, and chose to have things real again, the Unowns’ power had grown to unstable levels. It took the strength of Entei to restore the world to its original state.”

“But… but you’re not Professor Hale, are you?” began Rose hesitatingly. “Are you the real Entei?”

“No, I’m not Hale. But I’m not really Entei either. It’s a bit confusing…”

Jeremy and the others just stared in awe at the large furry creature as they listened.

"I am, or rather, I was a Pokemon PC technician. Whenever a Pokemon Center's PC needed an attitude adjustment, they’d call me to fix whatever the problem was. Usually I only did minor repairs, like running an anti-virus program or replacing a fried processor. But I knew how to do more complicated procedures too."

Eric Stone nodded. "I'm a bit of a computer geek myself. I'd always wind up fixing the Cinnabar Lab's machine if it did something strange."

"So one day an old high school buddy of mine called," continued Entei. "His kid's Pokedex had been acting weird lately and he wanted me to check it out. Apparently whenever the kid was walking around, her Pokedex would show incorrect maps. It also emitted high-frequency noises that caused her to get bad headaches. I was poking around a bit in the database before I tried fixing the damn thing, and it turns out the kid was an aspiring mystery hunter... messed around with some nasty Glitch Pokemon."

"MissingNo!" gasped Rose and Eric. Entei nodded.

"Yup, that little sucker was in there. Along with a couple of pixel-looking things. I tried messing with the Pokedex, but it wasn't doing any good. I'd heard that Glitch Pokemon can fry technology, but I'd never seen it first-hand before. I was about to call my buddy back and tell him that I'd need to reformat the whole thing, when... something odd happened."

"What? What happened?" asked Jeremy excitedly.

"I'm not sure. I was double-checking the data records, and I reached the section on Unowns, when the screen began flashing and the Pokedex started making horrible high-pitched noises. The last thing I remember was seeing a whole mess of Unowns spinning around my head, then I passed out. When I woke up, I was like this." The large creature looked down at his shaggy body. "I really don't know what to think. At least I'm a legendary Pokemon, I suppose I could have been a Magikarp or something. I mean, Entei's my boy and all, but I never really wanted to BE one.”

“Fascinating,” remarked Eric. “Professor Hale’s story was written up in several scientific journals, and I’ve done a bit of personal research on the events that led to his disappearance. According to my findings, Hale was transported to another dimension after trying to research the Unowns. This kid whose Pokedex you tinkered with was also researching the Unowns. Maybe Unowns simply don’t want to be understood. Possibly, as their name implies, they want to remain mysterious and “unknown” forever. That combined with the data corruption from the Glitch Pokemon might explain your situation.”

“No sh*t?” said Entei, then quickly added, “Oh, pardon my French.”

“You mean the Unowns try to get researchers out of the way if they get too close to discovering the truth?” asked Jeremy incredulously.

Eric Stone shrugged. “I have no idea. It’s just a theory, but it seems to hold water.”

Entei yawned, displaying the shiny teeth in his cavernous mouth. “Mind if I snag some of that caffeine? I’m really tired.”

“Uh… help yourself,” Jeremy answered nervously, holding out the canister of instant coffee crystals.

Entei scooped a pawful of dry coffee crystals from the canister and poured them down his throat as Jeremy watched, horrified. “Thanks, kid, I needed that.”

Eric glanced at his wristwatch and gasped. “It’s already 1 AM?” he asked incredulously. “I had no idea we were here that long! I guess our game took longer than I anticipated…”

“You guys ready?” asked Rose. “I don’t know how long it’ll take to get Sapphire back. They could have it stored in a computer, or locked in a room somewhere…”

“What’s going on?” asked Entei.

“The cops took Rose’s Articuno to the Pokemon Center when they arrested us, and we’re gonna go get it back tonight,” replied Jeremy.

“They arrested you? For what?”

“Well, Rose is a Team Rocket member, and we had traded Pokemon so the cops thought I was her accomplice. So they arrested us, then my brother busted us outta jail, and now we’re hunting down some escaped Glitch Pokemon… I guess it’s kinda complicated.”

“Fascinating. Mind if I tag along?” asked the legendary Pokemon.

“Why not?” laughed Jeremy. “We’ve already got a sidetracked Pokemon trainer, a disgraced genetics professor, two escaped Team Rocket members…”

“Two?”

Just then, Butch decided that whatever chaos the Unowns had been causing was over, and it was now safe to enter the break room. He threw open the door and peered inside. Catching a glimpse of the huge Entei, the Rocket gave a high-pitched scream and fainted dead away.

“What the hell is his problem?” asked Entei, staring at Butch’s unconscious form.

“I’ve been wondering the same thing for years,” said Rose with a smile.

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