Disclaimer: I still don't own Pokemon, but don't get me wrong I've tried.

Chapter 4: Regrets and Guilts of the Past

 Kasumi sighed as she walked away from the counter. The files of the check out rookies were all in order. But once again for one month, she had once again missed Musashi and Kojirou. She hadn't seen or spoken to either one of them since the plank. Haruka had long given up on making peace with herself. Kasumi remembered the young girl's words.

"Give it up Misty. Obviously Jessie and James doesn't want our forgiveness. They're okay with it. Probably their whole life they haven't had anyone say I'm sorry to them. It's Team Rocket remember? The trio that caused us to nearly lose our lives once remember? Just give it up. They probably already had forgotten the whole thing by now. Everyone else did."

Those words had reassured Kasumi for a while until she remembered something else from her past.

"You know something Misty. Team Rocket isn't all bad. They do what they can to survive just like us. At times of trials we must unite. We got to set aside our differences and work together that's the only way to survive. You believe in that don't you Misty? We all make mistakes, and we all have feelings. If we hurt someone, we must apologize or our conscience will get to us sooner or later. So Team Rocket bombed us a couple of times and stole our Pokemon, they never hurt us did they? It was because of Team Rocket that our Pokemon evolved at times. We got to be glad about some things."

"Yeah, I do have say that I'm sorry even if Haruka won't." Kasumi smiled for she knew that if worse comes to worse Musashi and Kojirou will get back at her some how, and they will have her trust again. Kasumi walked out of the boarding house of the rookies with high filled hopes and an alert face. She knew from Kojirou and Musashi's backgrounds the two most likely have a pit fall trap waiting for her somewhere.

*******

A sigh of relief was heard in the corner as a red eyed, pink nosed, young woman with red candy cane like hair and a short blue head walked out. The two sneaked down the hall of the boarding house and immediately opened one of the doors revealing a tidy room for room with womanly features aboard the room.

"Jessie we can't keep sneaking around this place like this," said the blue head.

"Why not Kojirou?" asked Musashi. She grabbed a single piece of tissue and blew out her nose.

"Because that would mean Kasumi and Haruka won that's why?"

"I don't care," mumbled Musashi.

"You don't care. You don't care! What happened to your sense of pride Jessie? What happened to your sense of leadership? What happened to your stubbornness?" asked Kojirou. He had raised his voice to the loudest yet it didn't seem to have any affect on Musashi.

"My pride been gone since this all happened. You know why I agreed all of a sudden to Team Thunderbolt?" asked Musashi.

Kojirou opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it. He looked down and shook his head.

"You know why I said so many years ago we should stop following the twerps?" asked Musashi.

"Because the boss sent us to do a different assignment to find the legendary Pokemon Mew," said Kojirou simply.

"No, that's not true. The boss never sent us away from the twerps. I asked him to send us away. I didn't want to face the twerps again and... They made us feel low James really low. We were part of the Elite Team Rocket James. The Elite, the highest part of Team Rocket that why we wore white and not black. Being an elite Rocket gave me pride. Didn't it give you pride James?" asked Musashi.

"Yeah, course it did. Just wearing the black costume again gave me the creeps. Back in Johto when the Lugia was kidnapped."

"Well the twerps changed that. Didn't it change you in Houen when the twerp started with one Pokemon and still beat us? Didn't you feel humiliated? Didn't that make you lose your pride James?"

"A little."

"Well it made me think about it. My mother was a Rocket too. I have Rocket blood within me. Rocket blood that gets humiliated when someone humiliates a rocket. My pride started to slip every time the twerp beat us. Not by cheating, but by the fair and square way. I remembered my mother telling me that the legendary Pokemon Mew could heal old wounds. I wanted to find Mew to heal my wounds. I needed Mew to make peace with myself, but until I find Mew I didn't want to see the twerps' faces. But when the Pokemon rebelled and I saw the twerp's friends it all changed. His damn Pikachu won't be around. I could humiliate him in fist to fist fighting. You get it James?"

 

Kojirou simply nodded as for once in so many years he wasn't left in the dark.

"I thought since friendship meant everything to the twerp he would be here, but he isn't. He isn't. This time hurt more. It hurt more than anything did. It wasn't the twerp that humiliated me. It was the twerp's girlfriend and that hurt."

"But you can still get back at the twerp can't you?"

"He isn't here, James. He isn't here..." Musashi turned her back to Kojirou and poured into her pillow with sobs. Kojirou sighed as he got up. He walked to the other side of the bed and gently stroked Musashi's back. Instead of receiving a warm feeling this time the feeling was cold. Kojirou had a deep feeling in his heart that Musashi didn't tell him the whole story. That deep in Musashi's heart there had been another who she had given her too long ago.

"I hope it isn't true Jess cause no matter what I will always love you." With that said Kojirou leaned closer and gently kissed Musashi's cheek. "Sleep tight Jessica."

Kojirou took one last look at his childhood partner and lover. How could Kojirou have forgotten how he had met Musashi? Now he remembered. Now after so long he remember the few events that he had lost to starvation. He remembered how he was fired and nearly torn into jail from his department store job.

It was late one night when he and a bunch of other workers from the stores were accidentally locked into the store or as they had told James. He was the youngest of all the other workers. He was only nine that year and everyone else there was in their twenties and thirties. James felt proud of having friends so much older than him and was human. He felt comforted that these people actually trust him and treated him as an equal. The boss of the department store had left early and wouldn't be back for a couple of days. His co-owner had a hatred for James the moment the boss man hired him. But to James's luck the boss Mr. Timison had a sore stop for young stray boys and agreed to take in James. Mr. Timison was like a father to James. A father that James never had. James's real father didn't care about him one bit. Both his parents were rich southerners who were proper and elegant. James's wasn't like that, and he had reached the breaking point when his parents set him up with Jessiebel.

The co-owner Mr. Breakerston was an old grouch and cared only for money. James knew that Mr. Breakerston was nothing. He was only putting on airs. Mr. Breakerston was very forgetful and once a month would lock the doors when some of the customers never left the store. James sometimes worried about Mr. Breakerston and his attitude towards him, but when he confronted Mr. Timison about it the man just laughed and said to James. 'Ah boy! It's nothing really. The man was a soft spot in him its just hard to find in all the hatred in him. It was his first wife that did it to the poor man. I was their best man for their wedding too. I was even their first babe's godfather. Named the young beauty southern beauty Nadie. Sweet child poor child went into coma when she was four. Never seen Tom Breakerston so depressed. Nearly sold his share of the department to me, but I wouldn't have it. I said to Tom. 'What are you going to do when Nadie's up and running and ask way's Uncle Freddy. You got to support your daughter Tom. How you going to do it when you sell the store to me.' I wouldn't have it James. Not one bit. Nadie died two years later when Tom had his twins Micky and Joey. I was the two's godfather again, but Tom was never the same again. When Micky was born, she was almost identical to Nadie. Both little girls were southern beauties. Tom started drinking and smoking. I offered the man a month's break, but he wouldn't have it. Margaret left him a month later when she was him nearly suffocated little Micky. Margaret claims that Tom went nuts one night, and said that Nadie was back to haunt him. She said that Tom went crazy thinking that Micky was Nadie. Margaret immediately filed for divorce, and Tom went to the asylum. Two years later he came back as a cold and heartless man. He was forgetful and hates all children. The poor man has been though a lot. I know Tom claims he hates you, but it's really that he can't bear to see you. You remind him of the three kids he lost. Tom may claim he hates kids, but I know he doesn’t.'

James was satisfied with the information for a while till that night. The winds were howling and James and the rest managed to find a small fire in one of the sections in the store. A game of truth and dare came about after all the workers got drunk on the department's alcohol. James knew that once the alcohol kicked in the workers won't friendly so the immediately agreed to truth and dare.

It was one at night when he met his doom. Instead of going truth, which he always does and lies about it, James went for a dare. The room went quiet when Adrian laughed and then quickly choked at a smoke cloud. "I dare you James to sent off the security alarms." A stiff giggle ran out through the group. Pulling the security alarms called for the police and immediately punishment. James knew and for once he couldn't lie. A dare was the part in truth and dare that he couldn't lie about.

The pros and cons ran through James's head. He had always been a good kid, so what if once and a while in didn't eat his bushel sprouts and gave them to Growly. He had always said if no one finds out you lied then it isn't a lie. It was James's motto, and it had gotten him this far into life. How else did he get his job at the department store. Eight-years-old at the time he couldn't get a job, but with a sad story and his famous puppy dog look he got the job. Now his motto couldn't help him. It was either leaving the group or face the harsh words of Mr. Breakerston. Being a gang type kid James took the dare, and the cops came.

The rest was all a blur to James as he watched from the corner of his eyes the workers escape. James learned that moment that they won't his real friends. They were using him. What James saw nearly placed him into tears. The workers had Mr. Timison's jewelry in their hands. They were using him to steal, but worse to deceive Mr. Timison. James couldn't face his fatherly figure now. All he knew was to run. Run from the cops. Run from it all. It was outcast now. His clean record was gone. James made it to the Sun Dale bridge where he spent his night alone. The years before when he had ran away from home, he always had Growly but not this time. This time he was alone in the big dark world with nobody, and the cops were after him.

James managed to find some small boxes, which were all aligned by a wall from an old, abandon shack. Deciding not to try his luck and ran into a nasty Pokemon in the building James decided to stay outside. He found some abandon food on the ground, and being very hungry and tired James didn't care about hygiene. He quickly gulped down the half sandwich and located a bottle of half drank soda, which he gulped down. James would someone's long forgotten blanket and used it for his sleeping method. The hurt look of Mr. Timison ran through James's mind as his drifted into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning when the sun shone on his face James felt tapping on his head. Thinking it was a stray Pokemon he swatted at it. Instead of the tapping stop it passed his head and started nudging his shoulders. "Growly stop it. Jessiebel felt hear you."

"Yo kid get up!" said an inpatient voice. James immediately snapped his eyes open at the sound of a voice. To his surprise it was a young boy about his age dressed in an unusually assortment of clothes. The boy was wearing chains on his hands much like a Primeape. He had two chains of metal necklaces each shaped of balls. His shirt and pants both seemed too short for him. To the boy's side was a young girl of frizzy hair and a young boy of spiked hair. Both were dressed like the other and all three were all around James's age. James whimpered as he slipped closer to the wall.

"Ah Kid. We ain't going to hurt you. You can come out now." said the same boy that had shook him awake.

"How can I trust you?" asked James.

"Because you're like us. You like being part of a gang. You're in trouble somehow. You're parents don't understand you, and you ran away from them. You want to prove something to someone."

"How you guess?" asked James.

"Because the three of us are just like you, Kid. With that and our ability to ride bikes we're called the Bike Gang." Said the boy. "Come on Kid. Come with us. The docks are harder alone but together it's easy."

James petrified at the kids' hair do nodded. To James's surprise where he was taken to wasn't bad at all. It might not have been the department store or his old mansion, which he ran away from but at least this place was cozy. This place was small two house wood house that seemed to have been abandoned years ago. In one window when you looked out pass the leaves that hid the house was the wide spread ocean.

James was soon acquainted with the wheels and started in with a small cute tricycle that fit his personality. That was when James met Big Jess. To James's surprise Big Jess wasn't a man, but a pretty little girl with long red hair. James was immediately obsessed with Big Jess the moment he laid eyes on her only Big Jess's eyes didn't match the rest of her. They held a faraway look in them as if someone had hurt her long ago. One night when the gang was out riding and looking for Pokemon Big Jess and Little Jim as James was called got separated with the group when it began to rain. James never experienced a rainstorm outside panicked only to find that Big Jess twisted her ankle.

James somehow managed to control himself and help Big Jess into a hollow out tree bark where the two hid from the storm. "You know we haven't been properly introduced yet," said Big Jess grimacing though the pain. Her ankle burned as she grasped on to it with her hands.

"You're Big Jess the greatest rider of them all," said James simply.

"I mean friendly wise. I'm Jessica, and I'm nine and a half," said the girl.

"James. I just turned nine," said James proudly.

"I figured. So what was your family like?" asked Jessica curiously.

"Rich," said James plainly.

Jessica giggled at the information. "So tell me, if you're so rich why you run away from home?"

"Because my parents were too controlling. They had we betrothed to this control freak at six. Some girl name Jessiebel. I rather go out and see the world then sick around with Jessiebel," said James.

"You ever stole things before?" asked Jessica curiously.

"No," mumbled James. His face turned beet red as he looked straight down.

"Then why you trying to be a street kid for?" asked Jessica curiously.

"Okay, here's the truth. I use to work at a big department store after I ran away from home. I got locked into the department store the night before others found me. The other workers at the department were getting drunk on beer, and we started the game of truth and dare. They dared me to pull the alarm. I did. The cops came. I saw them running out the building with jewelry. I ran before the cops could catch me."

"So you're in trouble with the law," said Jessica eagerly. Her face showed of eagerness when James finished his story.

"I didn't do anything bad," said James quickly on his defense.

"The cops want you though don't they? You ran from them didn't you? Only people in trouble with the law ran from the police."

"I..." mumbled James. Knowing he couldn't beat Jessica at her game he plainly nodded.

"Guess you're just like me. We're both outcasts. We have a purpose in this world though to be famous," said Jessica eagerly.

"How Jessi..."

"Wait. That's perfect," said Jessica eagerly.

"What?" asked James curiously.

"Well I hated my name for a long time. Jessica was too formal for me. Big Jess is okay except it sounds like I'm fat. I like Jessie. Call me Jessie 'kay?" asked Jessica.

"Already JESSIE. So who do we be famous?" asked James.

"Have you ever heard of an organization called Team Rocket?" asked Jessie eagerly.

"A little. Mainly in newspapers."

"Well, my mom was a Team Rocket member. She was to look for the legendary Pokemon Mew, but Mom was famous. She was famous all over the world. Do you want to famous like my mom? With all the fame and glory of the world? With all the money you could ever want that is on Indigo Island? Would you like to be rich James? Would you like to have the most powerful Pokemon in the world at your dispose?" asked Jessie persuading.

"Yeah," said James. "But how?"

"Join Team Rocket of course. But we can't yet. Team Rocket only takes people when they reach twelve. We're join together, and we won't have to start rookie either..."

"Why?" asked James curiously. He coaxed his head and stared at Jessie.

 "Because everyone in Team Rocket knows my mom, the moment they hear I'm her offspring we're in the Elite training group. With you being my friend we'll make it easily. You go?" asked Jessie excitedly.

"I go," said James nodding his head eagerly.

James remembered all right. There were some details about that day that he forgot. But the one thing that didn't catch his eye that day when Jessie was telling him the details of Team Rocket was her expression. He was so worked up with the fame and glory he would get in three years that he forgot about Jessie. He forgot to ask her what was wrong. He forgot to ask why she always looked so down. He forgot to ask what happened to her mother. He forgot to ask her way she had joined the Bike Gang in the first place. He forgot to ask her way she had asked him to join Team Rocket with her instead of the others. Why she had asked a complete stranger that was afraid of a rainstorm to join with her? Had she been blind then of true picking? Had she actually saw some potential of a Team Rocket member in him? Had her choices gone to waste?

James knew he wasn't the prefect Team Rocket member. Could Jessie have caught way more Pokemon if she had picked someone else as her partner? Could her partnership with Cassidy have lasted longer than the training if it wasn't for James? Could Jessie and Cassidy have actually become friends if it wasn't for him? Him telling Jessie that Cassidy had nearly rated her out of Team Rocket. It was because of that that Cassidy and Butch both didn't get the white Elite uniforms. It was then that the Black rookie Team Rocket members and the white elite Team Rocket members spilt. It was then when the rookies refused to join Elite. It was when there was no definite difference in experience level in color of uniforms. Now it was all a matter of either liking white or black.

A sense of guilt for once after so long. For so long he didn't care for anyone. Sure he loved and adored his Pokemon and especially his dear Growly, but people wise he never cared for anybody. James had learned over time to not give into his parents, which caused them to grow farther apart. Over time the farther they grew and the less and less they could see eye to eye James learned to hate. He had decided that it's easier to hate somebody than to like them, but Jessie turned out to exception. After spending over twenty years together its no doubt that the two would grow fond of each other. But after that first meeting with Jessie, James was afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again, so he stayed after from Jessie. He mainly kept to himself or the whole gang together and with his bike with training wheels.

James learned then that to stay away from someone you really cared about could drive them, and you insane. James learned that that was the greatness hurt a human being could receive was being in the blue. Now James seeks to return Jessie kindness and make himself useful. It was his fault he wanted to join Team Thunderbolt. Jessie didn't want to, but he had made her in the end. Now James felt guilty. Guilty of the humiliations that he and Jessie received from Kasumi and Haruka. James wanted to revenge. Revenge on Kasumi and Haruka for humiliating them and destroying the remainder of Jessie's spirit. With or without Jessie's help James would avenge her pride for her if it was the last thing he'll do.

Kojirou nodded before leaving Musashi's room. He gently closed her bedroom door and found the elevator that would take him to the men's suite. As the elevator traveled this way and that Kojirou's brain was on thinking mode. As the elevator neared his room, Kojirou grinned his evil grin.

"You better watch out twerps cause I'll get you where it hurts." Kojirou grinned at his master plan as he opened his room door to work out the details.

 A/N: This chapter turned out to more like a flashback chapter. If you haven't figured it out yet, the Italics part was the flashback.