***AUTHORESS NOTES***

Yes, this story has a moral now. ^^ Go Torch!

Mwa, I am having such a hard time with this story. It's hard to plan.
I'm only up to chapter 8 with the planning. 

Sorry for the lack of updates! I have had a CRAZY busy week!

Here's chapter 5!

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Chapter 05: Nothingness


     She was drowning. She couldn't breathe. But what was she drowning
in? The water was black. Was it water? Or was it something else? It
didn't matter. It was suffocating her. She was dying! She was dying all
alone...

     Jenna woke up in a cold sweat, wrapped in a cocoon of satin sheets
and pillows. It had seemed so real. She felt like she was actually
drowning. And that feeling in her throat! She still felt it-closed up,
tight. She inhaled deeply and felt her head stop spinning. This was just
crazy- and on the night before she started her journey! She needed
SLEEP.

     But even THAT couldn't be granted. The irritating, tinny tones of a
polyphonic ring tone rang out from her bedstand. Who in the hell would
be calling this late? With a quick look at her alarm clock-1:56AM- she
answered her cell phone.

     "This is Jenna," she said with a yawn.

     "Jenna?" somebody said uncertainly on the other line. A MALE
somebody. What guy in his right mind would call her this late. "This is
Aaron. I ran into you in the hallway earlier..." His voice trailed off.

     "Do you have any idea what time it is?" she demanded. 

     "Yeah, it's late, I know. Nick told me about what happened in the
parking lot, and I wanted to make sure you were okay." He sounded
concerned, which would've touched her, had it been a sane time of day.
But dammit, it was about two in the morning and she was tired! Couldn't
this wait until the morning?

     "Listen, Aaron," she said brusquely. "You seem like a nice guy and
all, but just because you tore my shirt and gave me a ride home to
change doesn't make us friends. It was a one-time thing." And then, all
of the sudden, it hit her. Guilt. She sounded bitchy and she knew it.
"Can we discuss this in the morning? I'm really tired and I want to
sleep."

     He paused. "That's fine. Sorry I disturbed you." His voice sounded
a little chilly, and Jenna felt bad all over again.

     "Okay. Have a good night," she told him, but Aaron had already hung
up. She put her cell phone down and stared at it, wanting it to ring.
Wanting it to be Aaron.

     "Jenna, you're crazy," she muttered. "It was a one-time thing. Get
over it and get some sleep."

     She straightened out her blankets and sheets and snuggled back in
her bed. And yet she still wanted the phone to ring. "Get over it," she
murmured drowsily and fell back asleep. She didn't dream anymore that
night.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     The alarm on her cell phone and her alarm clock rang at the same
time. Seven-thirty on the dot. She didn't have to be at Astrid's gym to
get a ride until eight-thirty. The noise was so annoying, though, that
she couldn't help but to get up and out of bed.

     Jenna lazily strode over to the closet and grabbed a pink Hollister
logo tee and a pair of jeans. She didn't really care if she matched or
not, she just wanted to wear whatever. She hastily threw on a plain jean
jacket over the shirt to hide her wrist and slipped on pink Old Navy
flip-flops. The final touch was to just throw her hair up in a ponytail. 

     She walked downstairs to absolute nothingness. Her parents had both
left already. They hadn't even stayed to say goodbye to her. She sighed,
but then realized it didn't matter. Nothing she did ever mattered. 

     Jenna grabbed a muffin from the plate and began to pick at the
blueberrys. The house was beginning to represent her life- nothingness.
She had already failed because she wasn't perfect.