Chapter 3: Hollaback at the Candy Shop

     Was it chains? Mostly, no. Was it fire? Unfortunately, no. Was it
baby food? Well, baby food was better than the torture they had to go
through. It wasn't even Barney.

It was 50 Cent and Gwen Stefani.

     Well, not them exactly. The imprisoned authors and cast of Pokemon
might've enjoyed that, considering they weren't evil people or anything.

     "I'll take you to the candy shop," sang Tracey. "I'll let you lick
the lollipop." Torchick shuddered through her chains. "This is creepy,"
she told Gary, who was imprisoned next to her. Gary nodded, maybe more
freaked out than Torch.

     On the other side of the room, where Finaille and Soccerpixie were
being held, the Teletubbies were singing a different tune. "Cuz I ain't
no hollaback girl!" Po informed the captives through the pop song,
ridiculously off-tune each word. "I ain't no hollaback girl!"

     "Oooooh... This my-" sang La-La, Dipsy and Tinky-Winky in
background.

     Finaille gasped. "Isn't that inappropriate language for people of
their stature?" she questioned, referring to their stance as preschool
television characters.

     Soccerpixie chuckled. "Have you ever SEEN the show? They spend it
shaking their butts and eating children and laughing at horribly dressed
teddy bears! That language should be expected!"

      Meanwhile, Tracey was still rapping. "Isn't it ironic how er-"

     "STOP!" Cloyster yelled. "This kind of song is so appropriate for a
gay man and it's putting twisted thoughts in my already warped mind!"

     "Cloyster," muttered May, who nudged her as hard as she could
through chains. "How do you know he's gay?"

     "Because he's been winking and flicking his tongue at Gary for the
last five times he's done the song!" Cloyster stated triumphantly. Gary
shuddered at the memory.

     May happened to look at the doorway right then. "Hey! Look! It's
the rest of the group! They've come to rescue us!"

     "I don't know if I want to walk through that door after seeing what
we just saw," grumbled Pikachu to Twisted Alyx.

     But then he saw Torchick either glaring at Gary or glaring at him,
and he felt bad for whimpering about Fluffy only seconds after she'd
disappeared. But Fluffy WAS the most amazing goldfish in the world!
Should he be able to mourn her death in peace? Arg, all the conflicting
emotions! It was better to do the usual and not think. Not thinking
always worked.

     So to be a good friend (and because Twisted Alyx had threatened to
tell Torchick about the bad timing of his goldfish mourning), Pikachu
took the objective to take the first step into the room. Unsurely, Ash,
Misty, Brock, Twisted Alyx and Brendan took steps forwards behind him.
But, wait a second! Where had Brock gone? And why was there now a hole
in the floor? It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

     "Help! I fell through the floor!" yelled the spiky haired,
slit-eyed boy. But there were other things at stake, like the five
people who were being tortured by the horrible voices of the Teletubbies
and Tracey. But now there was someone else thrown into the mix.

     "Shake it till the moon becomes the sun!" Wally belted out, shaking
his rear end in demonstration of what the others were supposed to do.
Gary threw up a little in his mouth.

     "Charizard, come on out!" Ash ordered. The big, angry dragon came
out. "Use Flamethrower on those chains!" The orange fire type did what
he was told and after apleasant array of red-orange flames, Ash was
faced with the angry glares of five teenage girls, and Gary, all six
covered in soot.

     "Ash, you are going to die," muttered May as she wiped off ashes
from her shoulder.

     Meanwhile, Po and crew had changed to a new song. "Wake up, wake up
on a Saturday night!" sang the red Teletubby, his gigantic belly
probably jiggling from his daily meals of children.

     Now free, Finaille and Soccerpixie grabbed Po and La-La and threw
them in a hole in the floor. They repeated the procedure with
Tinky-Winky and Dipsy.

     Torchick and Cloyster also efficiently grabbed Tracey and Wally
who, being the frail weaklings they are, were easily thrown in the
floor. 

     "What strange memories," chuckled Pikachu as Soccerpixie handed him
the mail. An invitation to Jolt's latest party was in there, but the
authors were taking no chances. They threw it away instantly.

     "I can't help but think we're forgetting something," mused Finaille
as she took a sip of her hot cocoa.

+~+~+

     In a remote, abandoned house far away, where many authors once
unwillingly came to play, there were still three boys and four
he/she/its.

     "Hello?" called Brock. "Misty, Ash... It's scary down here! But I
know you'll come to save me." His confidence was beginning to waver,
however. "No, don't do that! Anything but that!"

     "I don't believe it. It's almost too good to be true. I ain't never
seen a-" The rest of the words were cut off by Brock's screams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE END

I hope you liked the story, it's now done! In case you were wondering...

*Tracey's song was "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent.
*The Teletubbies' first song was "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani.
*Wally's song was "Pon De Replay" by Rhianna.
*The second Teletubby song was "Wake Up" by Hilary Duff (tell me, why
does she have a greatest hits album after 2 CD's that weren't even that
great?)
*The last song sang was "Ass Like That" by Eminem.

I own none of them. Also none of the characters, except Torchick
(myself).