***AUTHORESS NOTES***

1/09/06

We're doing a lot of work with description in English class, so I
decided to go through and revise S.S. with what I've learned.

Rereading this, I felt that it did not properly convey what I want it to
now, so this is the first to be revised.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 50: Denial 

I was mad. 

Scratch that. I was pissed off.

     How could Nathan miss one of the most crucial moments of my life to
play a practical joke? He knew how much this meant to me, so how could
he even dream of missing it? Didn't I mean anything to him?

     But if he knew how important this was to me and then missed it, it
could mean... No, it couldn't. There was no way that he was dead. Those
guys were actors, not cops, and Vicky, Taylor, Zach and Sam were only
playing along. I mean, this could never happen to me, right? Not me and
Nathan... We were just ordinary people (well, in a sense...) and this
did not happen to ordiany people. I guess what I mean is that how could
Fate so cruelly pick away the thing I care about most? That can't happen
to me. Not to ME.

     "Jenn?" asked Sam hesitantly. "How are you holding up?" 

     I blinked, puzzled at such an idiotic question. "Holding up from
what? A prank? I deal with 
those very well, thanks for asking though." 

     "Jenn, you're in denial. This isn't a prank," Vicky said
exasperatedly, like it was not worth her time to explain things or like
I was some stupid kid who was still not understanding after her seventh
time of explanation.
 
     "Vicky, it's very nice of you to play along with my
dearest boyfriend, but you can give up. I KNOW this isn't true. It's a
prank, it's a joke, I don't know what to call it actually. But whatever
it is, it's not re-" 

     "JENN!" screamed Zach, and yet again, I blinked. Zach had never
yelled before, at me or anyone else. "I know how much you'd like to
believe this is fake, but it's not. Those cops were not actors and we
are not playing along with anything." 

     I snorted. "You know, Zach? I won't believe a word you say until I
see a body. A dead one." 

     Zach turned a shade of white, but his confidence was unwavering.
"I'll see if that can be arranged," he said in a grave tone of voice
that was completely fake and walked out of the doorway. 

     Vicky looked at Sam. "This cannot be good." Sam would not even say
a word, but merely looked at the doorway. Had I been smarter, I would've
know that this meant disaster.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* 
 
     Around ten minutes later, I was on a bus across town to a police
station. I was sure that Nathan would be waiting there with a bouquet of
roses and a lot of apologies. Or at least he would if he knew what was
good for him. But either way, it was hard to ignore how badly my knees
were shaking. I blamed it on the fact that it was slightly chilly and I
was wearing a skirt.
 
     When we arrived, Zach walked right up to the desk. "Zach Childers.
I have an appointment with Officer Fraiser about a case." He sounded so
official and serious, but I could nearly swear I saw a smile at the
corner of his lips. I really hoped that I saw him smile. 

     The secretary's blond hair flopped across her eyes as she checked
an appointment book. "Follow me, Mr. Childers. Are they with you?" she
questioned, nodding to the three of us.
 
     Zach nodded curtly and the secretary clicked in her heels down a
hallway into a door. "Officer Fraiser is waiting in there," she said and
then proceeded to click back to her desk. 

     Zach opened the door, and inside was revealed to be serious and
gray, like the atmosphere in our group. The room reeked of cleaning
supplies, and the smell was nearly overpowering. A man in his middle
thirties or early forties was sitting at a wooden table and I recognized
him to be one of the men who had approached me before my match. He was
about average height and bald. His head shined in the dim lighting.

     Towards the back of the room was a body bag with something in it. I
smiled a bit, knowing that once I went to open it, Nathan would jump out
at me and I would shriek, before being buried in a pile of hugs. 

     "Welcome," he greeted us. I ignored him and rushed to the body bag,
wanting to see my boyfriend and yell at him for missing a 
pivotal point in my life. 

      I reached out and grabbed the zipper, but Officer Fraiser pulled
my hand back. "Are you sure you want to do this, Miss Frost?" he
inquired. 

     I scoffed. "Of course! Why wouldn't I?" As if seeing an alive human
being was such a bad thing. Especially when it is an alive human being
that you love very much.

     "I'll leave you four alone," he said as he walked out of the room
with a remorseful shake of the head. What did he mean by 'four'? There
were five of us: Me, Nathan, Vicky, Sam and Zach. Oh, I got it. He was
part of the joke. What a lameass. I was going to find out the truth in a
minute anyways.

      I waited for the officer to leave the room and then proceeded to
unzip the bag again. Zach shut his eyes tightly, Vicky bit her lip and
Sam turned completely around and walked out of the door.

     "Okay, so where's Nathan at?" I asked them impatiently. They had
put somebody else's body in here to trick me. How awful was that! I knew
it wasn't Nathan, I really did. I would know Nathan when I saw him. This
was just a badly injured body, lacerated in many places and bruised and
cut to an unrecognizable point. 

     Zach opened his eyes and Vicky looked on with worry. I was waiting
for Nathan to jump out and the rest of the group to burst out in
laughter. Zach turned wickedly pale and Vicky ran out of the room,
presumably to be sick. It was now only me and Zach.

     "Jenn," Zach said weakly. "This is Nathan." 

     I looked, confused, from the bag to Zach and back again. "No, it
isn't!" I argued angrily. "I would know Nathan anywhere, and this isn't
him!" 

     "Jenn, do you remember when we were all talking about our
childhoods?" Zach asked me. I had no idea where this was going, so I
just nodded. "Do you remember when Nathan told us about falling out of a
tree when he was six and landing on his head?" 
     
     "Yes," I replied. "Where is this leading to, Zach?" 
     
     "He has a scar on his head from the incident, right?" 
    
      "Of course!" I said impatiently. "I always laugh at him about it
and tell him that it's shaped like a Pontiac sign!"
 
     "Do you see where there's a bruise on N- this body's forehead?" I
nodded. "Look closely at it." 
  
     I got a bit closer to the corpse and looked as hard as I could. In
the middle of a bruise was a scar shaped like a Pontiac sign. 
     
     "It has to be a coincidence!" I exclaimed shakily, but I wasn't
fooling myself anymore. "I'm sure Nathan's not the only person in the
world with that shape of a scar in that exact same spot..." My voice
trailed off as realization hit.  

     Zach stood quietly in the same spot, looking intently at Nathan,
his eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed. But I suppose it isn't Nathan
anymore... 

     "Oh my God." All goes silent for a moment. "How could this happen?"

     Tears sprung to my eyes, and began to irritate my contacts, but I
didn't care. The sting in my eyes didn't compare anything to this rush
of pain I was feeling inside. 

     "It's going to be okay," Zach said softly and suddenly I felt like
hitting the boy. A volcano of feelings that I had yet to experience
exploded inside of my chest, coursing through me like a poison.
 
     "Zip that up!" I said quietly. Zach did not move. "Zip that up!" I
said again, screaming this time. " can't'-" I was at a loss for words.
There were so many things that came to my mind and everything was
getting way too hectic. My life had fallen to pieces in just five
minutes. 

     I had fallen to my knees the minute that I had snapped to reality,
but it took me until when Zach slipped his arm around my shoulder to
realize it. 
"Why? How?" I asked weakly. Zach looked nearly as white as I felt but
answered my question anyways. 

     He took a deep breath, and his blue eyes looked even deeper than
usual. "He knew how much you hated fighting with him, so-" He gulped.
"He went out before your battle to get you a present to make it up to
you, because he knew he was in the wrong. And he was hit by a drunk
driver in the rain. He was caught between the front of the car and a
wall." 

     I started to cry even harder. "Oh my God, this is all my fault! I
practically killed him!" 

     "It was NOT your fault. It was that drunk driver's fault, Jenny." 
  
     "It WAS my fault. If I hadn't thought that guy in Victory Road was
cute, then we wouldn't have fought and he'd still be alive!" I had never
felt so guilty. How could I do that? HOW? 

     "Jenn, if that guy hadn't been drinking or if he hadn't driven
after he drank, than Nathan would still be alive," Zach tried to say
reassuringly. 

     "I wish it had been me," I whispered and Zach squeezed me tighter. 
  
     "Don't say that," he said firmly. "It was awful, what happened. But
then Nathan would've been in the same position as you. Would you want to
cause him that much pain?" 

     I thought a moment. "No, never. Because this is 
unbearable." 
   
     "You're going to be okay." He seemed so sure of that, and it made
me furious to know that. Like he would know. 

     "No, I'm not. You guys are leaving me all alone to deal with this
and you think that I'll be okay? You'll be extremely lucky if I don't
end up killing myself!!" 

     "Jenn, don't talk like that!" he said angrily. "That's NOT a joking
matter!" 

     "Do you think I'm joking?" I yelled. 

     "Jenn, losing Nathan is horrible. We can't lose you too." 
     
     "Well, then what do you expect me to do with my life?" 
     
     "Go travelling again, I don't know. Meet new people." 
  
     "NO!" I protested loudly. "I don't want any of this to ever happen
again." 

     "Not everyone is going to die, Jenn," Zach said in a quieter tone. 
  
     "Well, what if they leave me?" I asked worriedly. "I don't ever
want to feel this alone again!" 

"Then you'll find somebody new." 

     "I didn't want anything to change." Another tear fell down my face,
but Zach wiped it away quickly. 
   
     "Things are always going to be changing," he told me, stroking my
hair. I laid my head against his chest. 

     "Change isn't good though," I said sadly. Look what it had done.
"Change ruins everything." 

     "Sometimes it doesn't, but it can be good. What if you had never
moved to Hoenn? You wouldn't have met me, or Vicky, or Nathan," he
pointed out. "Something worse than this might've happened." 

     "At least I have you," I said softly. 

     "Are you ready to go?" he questioned. I glanced at the zipped body
bag, my last look at Nathan, and then nodded. 
  
     "Yes." Another part of my story was coming to an end. The part with
Nathan, and the greatest time of my life. 

     The two of us stood up and I leaned my head on Zach's shoulder as
we began to walk out and rejoin Vicky and Sam.

Nothing would ever be the same again. 

THE END