Disclaimer: Yes, I’m really Satoshi Tajiri in disguise and pokemon is all mine. What? What do you mean you don’t believe me? Oh, did my American accent give it away?

A/N: Here’s another story from the wild growlithe. I don’t want to ruin any of this one. I doubt that it will be nearly as popular as master plan was, but I hope you like it. Also, please note that this has nothing to do with Master Plan, it’s a totally different (much shorter) story. Thank you for reading and don’t forget to R&R!

It was a peaceful night. Crickets were chirping melodiously, an occasional Hoothoot sounded it’s nightly call. Excepting the nocturnal ones, all of the pokemon of the forest were fast asleep in their nests. Ash’s group had tucked into their sleeping bags around sunset, and each of them was fast asleep. Or were they?

Brock woke up from a not-so-deep sleep when he felt something tugging at his leg. He glanced in the direction of the tugging. It was a pokemon, it appeared small and rodent-like, but it was too dark to tell exactly what it was. As soon as Brock had awoken, the pokemon dashed out of sight into the bushes. Brock blinked a couple of times (as if you’d be able to tell if he did or not!!) and looked around. It was still dark out, alright. The moon was high in the sky, creating a little light. Wondering about the pokemon, Brock decided to ask his traveling companions. “Hey Ash, Misty, you awake? Did you see....” Brock stopped his sentence when he noticed that both Ash and Misty were gone from their sleeping bags, as well as Pikachu and Togepi. They were no where in sight. Brock got up and went over to inspect their sleeping bags. As he did, something white attached to his own backpack caught his eye. As he moved closer to inspect the spot that hadn’t been there before, he noticed that it was a piece of paper... no... a note. Brock picked it up and held the note close to his face. He strained his “eyes” to read it. It said:

Rather eagerly, Brock turned the paper over, where the first clue was written.

Brock remembered the tall tree. The group had passed it on their way through the forest, and there was even a sign commemorating it. He immediately ran off, forgetting about Ash and Misty’s disappearance.....

In little time, Brock found his way back to the tree. He gaped at it. It was tall. But if it was to meet the lovely young lady who sent him the note, it was worth the climb! He started at the base of the tree, steadily climbing branch by branch, until they started getting thinner, and climbing was getting more difficult. A spearow that had been sleeping in a branch that Brock disturbed started angrily pecking at the trainer’s head. An angry hoothoot followed its example, and soon Brock had a whole flock of angry bird pokemon pecking away at him. Finally after managing to shoo all of the birds away and scrape the pine needles from his jacket, Brock made it to the top. There was a little hole in the top part of the trunk. Brock could see the note inside. He reached his hand inside and grabbed it. Once he had it, he began to read:

Brock remembered seeing the pond not far from where the tree was, about a mile. He was about to start climbing down when angry chattering came from the hole he’d stuck his hand into. He peered in. Just as he did this, a very pissed off furret shot out of the hole and latched onto his nose. Brock shouted out and lost his balance. He toppled out of the tree, not stopping until a very thick limb crashed into his crotch. He would’ve cried out, but found his voice was temporarily out of order. Slowly, with the furret still attached, he rolled off of the branch and crashed onto the ground. Once Brock got up from his fall, the furret let go and kicked some dirt on his face. “Fur!” It growled as it scurried back up the tree. Brock was not happy about what had happened on the way down, but was not about to let that get in the way of meeting this girl. Still, he did have a bit of trouble walking as he headed to the pond.

As he peered into the murky waters of the pond, filled with algae, leeches, and many dangerous wild water pokemon, Brock began to wonder if this was all worth it. It didn’t take him long to come to a conclusion: Of course it is!

Brock jumped into the water, headfirst. This resulted in getting a face full (and mouthful) of algae. Brock immediately surfaced and spat the green goo out of his mouth. While catching his breath, he noticed something swimming toward him on top of the water. It came a bit closer, and he noticed that it was a farfetch’d. A farfetch’d that wasn’t too happy about having an intruder near its nest. “Far! Far! Far!” It squawked as it repeatedly smacked Brock over the head with its leek. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Brock responded. Not wanting to be smacked any longer, Brock took a deep breath and dove under again, knowing the farfetch’d wouldn’t follow. He swam deeper, scanning the floor of the pond with his “eyes”, looking for the next clue. After a little bit, he spotted it. It was a laminated card (so it wouldn’t get wet) tied to a rock to hold it down. It had the next clue written on it. Brock started swimming for it, but before he could get there, noticed a sharp pain in his leg. He turned around and saw that several remoraid had bitten onto his legs. Brock started franticly kicking his legs to get the little fish off. He then made a beeline (still with some remoraid attached) for the clue. Once he reached it, Brock tried to untie the string, but to no avail. He pulled and pulled, but it wouldn’t come loose. As he was pulling, something very conveniently snapped the string for him. He looked to see what had helped out, and wound up face to face with a pissed off croconaw. Brock shouted underwater, bubbles escaping from his mouth, swam up to the surface and burst through it, the croconaw’s jaws clamped onto his rear. He ran onto the shore, grabbed a stick, and bonked the alligator pokemon on the head until it let go. It took a piece of his pants with it back into the pond, though. Breathless, Brock sat down to read the next clue:

Brock seriously did not want to walk over two miles to that farm they’d passed along the road, especially after the severe beating his lower region had taken so far. But he decided that after this was over, he’d know it was all worth it.

Brock finally reached the farm about a half an hour later. He snuck over the gate and into the sheep field, where the flock of mareep were peacefully slumbering. Getting down on his hands and knees, Brock moved as quietly as possible toward the sheep pokemon. He searched the ground for his next clue. It seemed impossible to find in the darkness. He was blindly groping around for what seemed like hours. After a while, Brock finally found the clue. A mareep happened to be standing on it as it slept. Ever so carefully, Brock managed to slip the clue out from under the mareep’s hoof. Excited, and without thinking, Brock raised his hand up and cried “Yes!” It only took a second for him to realize that he shouldn’t have done that. At once, all of the mareep woke up, and shocked the no-eyed intruder all at once. Having wet clothes from swimming in the lake didn’t help much either. To be blunt, Brock got fried. Fortunately, the clue remained intact. Crawling weakly away from the mareep flock, Brock read it to himself:

Brock sighed, and headed toward the barn....

Once inside, Brock found that it wasn’t very difficult to identify the tauros. It was huge. It dwarfed all of the miltank in the surrounding stables, and had horns longer than any other tauros he had ever seen. Brock could see that the bull was asleep. He didn’t want to take any chance of it waking up, so he tiptoed quietly through all of the miltank crap on the floor to reach the tauros. He could see the note taped to one of the large bull’s three whip-like tails. He pinched the paper between his fingers and pulled. The clue was stuck fast. Brock pulled harder. Still no success. Frustrated, he gave one final yank, freeing the clue, but taking some of the hair off of the tauros’s tail with it. The tauros mooed loudly in surprise and anger. It turned to face the one who had hurt it. It came eye to eye with Brock, staring him down. Brock froze. He felt like wetting himself (and almost did!). Furious, the bull pounded the ground with its hoof, giving Brock about two seconds before it charged. Brock turned around and ran full speed out of the barn. He shut the door, which was immediately demolished by the rampaging tauros. Running as fast as his legs would carry him, Brock tried to outrun the tauros. This was easier said than done. It wasn’t long before the tauros caught up to him and used its headbutt attack to send him flying twenty feet in the air. Brock crashed to the ground and immediately got back up and ran, the tauros chasing him until he was out of its territory. Panting, Brock unfolded the next clue and read:

Brock searched the front of the farmhouse for the pick up truck. It didn’t take long to spot it in the driveway. There was the clue, taped to the license plate. Brock started walking over to it, but suddenly the cars lights went on. It began backing out of the driveway. “Hey! Wait!” Brock shouted after the car, but the shadowy figures in the driver and passenger’s seats didn’t seem to notice. Brock tore after the car, following it as it drove down the dirt path. It kept a slow pace, slow enough for Brock to keep up, but not slow enough for him to catch up. The car kept driving, Brock in hot pursuit, until it reached the last town Ash’s group had been staying in. It continued on until it reached the entrance to an alley, where it made a brief stop. Brock dashed for the car and grabbed the clue. He tried to see the driver and passenger inside the car, but it drove away before he could lay his eyes on them. Brock decided to forget about it and gave his attention to the clue:

Brock peered down the alleyway where the car had stopped at. Sure enough, there was a dumpster in there, and sure enough, it was labeled “Grimer’s Garbage co.” Brock smiled. Maybe this one wouldn’t be so hard.

After about an hour of digging through garbage, Brock began to wonder how he thought that this one might be easy. There was filth stuck all over his clothes, and he smelled like... well, a grimer. Finally, he found the clue inside an empty donut box. He snatched the paper out and gladly jumped out of the disgusting dumpster. The next clue read:

Brock breathed a sigh of relief. An easy one... He gladly crawled out of the dumpster and brushed himself off. He walked over to the door described in the clue. There was a piece of paper attached to the handle, which Brock tore off and read:

Brock grinned and turned the handle. He pulled open the door and walked inside. The door shut behind him. There was the green curtain on his left. He walked down the room until he came across the section of curtain with the final note on it. He picked it up and read the instructions:
Brocky,

Brock immediately did as he was instructed, throwing off his filthy shirt and ripped pants. He then struck the most sexy pose that came to mind. The curtain opened and revealed......

A large crowd of men cheering and whooping. Brock’s face grew a look of surprise, then confusion, then horror as he read the sign above the stage he was standing on in his boxers.

Everyone across the counties of Johto and Kanto could hear Brock’s scream. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile....

Ash and Misty sat on the sidewalk outside the bar, laughing until they thought their sides would split.

“Oh, man!” Ash said when he regained his breath. “I can’t believe he fell for that!!”

“I can!” Misty laughed. “I wish I could see the look on his face!” They burst into laughter again, holding their stomachs. Their laughter calmed after a few minutes.

“Well,” Ash spoke up. “that gets him out of the way.”

“Yeah.” Misty agreed. “Finally.” They both got up and walked to the pick up truck they had pooled their money to buy. Ash got in the driver’s seat, Misty in the passenger’s seat. Pikachu and Togepi were asleep between the seats. Ash and Misty leaned in for a kiss on the lips.
“Great idea, sweetie.” Ash complimented.

“Awwww...thanks Ash.” She blushed. “But the tauros was your idea.” Ash laughed.

“That was one of the best.” He said. “Come on, let’s go get our stuff and get out of here before he finds us.” Misty smiled and kissed him again.

“Okay.” she said, leaning against his shoulder. The two drove off into the moonlight together. “Ahhh... alone at last.”

The end

I know, I keep bashing Brock. What can I say, some poke/twerp/sakashipper has to fight the sudden onslaught of gymshippyness that has reared its ugly head around here. Reviews are appreciated (even flames from any gymshippers that I pissed off). Brock’s torture shall continue... my revenge on the squinty one rages on.....