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- GNAN -


God Not Another Note


“I thought you said you’d never update here again!” That’s right, I did say that. Stuff happened and people died, and that made me realise there are far worse things out there than losing a popularity vote. Speaking of votes, on a random visit to the main page I saw I actually won last time, so I’m bound to continue by my word, too.


- I -


Chapter VII




“Humph,” Koga grunted as he recalled his fallen Venonat. After putting the Pokéball away his hand came back with another, which he promptly threw into the air. “Let’s see you do that with my next Pokémon. Koffing!” As Koga mentioned the name, Koffing took form. A large floating ball with a blue-purple colour, and several holes spread across its body. I knew what those were for even if I ignored the large white ‘poison’ sign on the Pokémon’s front. The holes were there to spew out the toxic gas that Koffing held inside, and as a pure Poison type the only thing I really had against it was Caesar’s Confusion. But I would try first with Blaze, since I might need Caesar for his third.


“Blaze, try another Flamethrower!” The Charmeleon dashed forward and released another stream of fire from his mouth. But it was too slow; Koffing dodged with amazing ease, keeping its dumb grin plastered on its… body. “Alright, if Flamethrower is too slow, we’ll have to try and get physical. Use Metal Claw!”


“Hah! As if that would help. Koffing, fly up!” Koga smirked as Koffing shot up – and Blaze shot under. Putting on the brakes, Blaze stopped and twirled around, growling in annoyance at his now unreachable opponent hovering just under where the roof would’ve been. Koga was no doubt trying to slow the battle down, to wear Blaze out and strike when he lost focus. I had to think of a way to get the purple ball down, but my mind drew a blank. Just then, Koga tried to take back the initiative. “Use Smog, Koffing! Suffocate him!”


When Koga called his command something clicked in my head. Since Blaze had no wings, Smog would give him serious trouble, but Koga just made a mistake. Smog wasn’t just poisonous; if my memory served me right it was also highly flammable. James’s Koffing got blown up repeatedly because of it. “Blaze!” I shouted to get his attention. Then I waited for Koffing to start its attack. “Now, use Flamethrower on the smoke!”


Moments later, the Gym seemed to explode. As did my eardrums. The blast wasn’t big, but the force was strong enough to knock me down anyway. After I regained my senses I could hear Rose coughing behind me because of all the dust it threw up. Looking ahead I spotted Blaze picking himself up from the floor, with a fair share of bruises, but otherwise alright. It dawned on me that causing an explosion inside a building was, well, just as mad as creating a twister inside a building. Thankfully this part had no roof, or it would’ve surely went flying. Suddenly I wondered if… “Oh man, I didn’t kill it, right?!”


“No, but he will not be fighting anymore today.” Koga said as he recalled a severely charred Koffing. “After all, he knows how to Selfdestruct. Koffing can take a bit of a beating.” Koga smiled for a second before putting his game face on once again. “You got lucky twice, due to… unfortunate circumstances. But this time, you will not win so easily. Come out, Weezing!”




Ow! That smarts!” A voice hissed.


“Stop squirming then!” A second voice replied.


“Shut up you two! Billy, stop moaning, Jason, what do you see?”


“That guy just downed Koffing, and Koga just called out his Weezing… But it looks like he’ll be losing another badge today.” The second voice answered. The third speaker grunted, but made no further comments.


“C-can you get off my shoulders now?! My back’s about to buckle!” The first one lamented…




Weezing, use Smokescreen!” The large floating triplet of Koffings opened its mouths and really poured out the smoke. In seconds the whole Gym was covered, and besides constantly coughing, no one could see a blasted thing either. I frantically – and futilely – waved my hand in front of my face to clear out the smoke while I tried to spot what was going on. “Now, Tackle him!”


Almost instantly after Koga ordered it, I heard a sharp slamming noise, followed shortly by a dull impact. “Blaze!” I shouted, hoping for a reply. None came. I swallowed a curse as I took out his Pokéball and waited for the smoke to clear. Like I had expected, Blaze lay knocked out on the Gym floor. The explosion in the battle with Koffing had done more of a number on him than I thought, and Weezing’s tackle no doubt came as a surprise. Two more chances at knocking out a single Pokémon. “Well fought Blaze. Rest up for a while.” I said as I returned Blaze to his Pokéball. After a short pause I decided I could risk Caesar, and pulled out his Pokéball. Somehow I felt slightly disappointed he didn’t get to face Venomoth, but I quickly set that thought aside and pressed the release. Moments later, the butterfly Pokémon fluttered above the battlefield, studying his opponent. “Alright Caesar, time to bring in another badge!”


“Hah, you are far too overconfident. As you just saw, Weezing is no pushover. It will be hard if not impossible for you to defeat him, even if your Butterfree knows Psychic attacks.” Koga boasted as he sized up Caesar. He had no idea what the little bug was capable of.


“We’ll see! Caesar, start things off with Double Team!” I said, watching as dozens of Butterfrees suddenly filled the Gym. But Koga was not to be outdone, and ordered another Smokescreen just as I was planning to exploit the opportunity. “Crud. Blow it away with Gust, quick!”


Weezing, use Sludge now that it’s stationary!” Koga’s order came the moment Caesar stopped to attack and I mentally kicked myself for falling for his trick, but it was too late to stop it now. I squeezed my fists as the sticky sludge threw Caesar down on the ground. The bad part was that the stuff made it impossible for him to fly, and so completely immobilized him. This was definitely not what I had in mind.


“Crap…” I muttered as I struggled to think of a solution while Caesar fluttered his wings futilely. I couldn’t find one. So, flying was out of the question, and the Butterfree definitely wasn’t made for walking either. Which left me with Psybeam and Confusion.


“Now, Tackle while it’s down!” Weezing charged at Koga’s command, and for a moment I regained hope. A frontal attack like that would leave it wide open to a full dose of Psybeam. I thought Koga would know better, but I wasn’t going to complain.


Psybeam, full power!” I shouted at the last second. Caesar’s eyes glowed brightly before a multicoloured beam shot out. Weezing was too close to dodge, and slammed into the attack face first. Well, one of its faces first, anyway. “Yes!” I cheered as a purple blur was shot back and bounced off a wall before landing hard on the ground. Caesar panted in exhaustion, having used all his strength in one big attack.


“Hold on!” Koga said as I was about to recall the Butterfree. “The match is not over.” Slowly, Weezing floated back up from the floor, looking quite roughed up – but strangely unbothered by it. “Weezing, Sludge!” As his Pokémon took in a deep breath of air, Koga’s ploy became clear to me. He had intentionally let Weezing get hit in order to drain Caesar’s psychic power. The little Pokémon was now too tired to use another one so quickly, meaning it was defenceless. I couldn’t bare to see him get hit in this condition, and I recalled him before Weezing fired. Koga smiled.


Now I was back to square one. And I didn’t have a lot of options left this time either. I couldn’t use Minimum, on Nurse Joy’s orders, and that left me with Mach and the newly caught Gastly. Mach would probably… ‘Oh crap.’ I thought as I slapped myself in the face. I completely forgot about the beating she took. I didn’t even have Nurse Joy look at her! Well, on the bright side, Gastly would be completely immune to any Poison attacks.


“Alright, I know it’s been less than 24 hours since we met, but it looks like I need some help.” I said as I searched my pocket for Gastly’s Pokéball. “Come on Gastly, let’s see what you’ve got!” With that, I tossed the ball up to the battlefield. But nothing happened…


Several seconds passed as all of us blinked our eyes, waiting. Then I remembered. I never returned Gastly after letting him out on the way here. In fact, I hadn’t seen him since he licked that Rocket. But didn’t Pokéballs have limited range? Surely he couldn’t just fly off!


Erm, where exactly is your Pokémon?” Koga asked as I started looking around the Gym, desperately trying to spot the ghost. Coming up empty, I finally turned to Koga to explain, but when I looked at him all I managed was stare, mouth agape. His head was round, about three times as big, cross-eyed and he was touching his nose with his extraordinarily large tongue. “Well?” He asked, not moving a muscle and seemingly oblivious.


“Alright Gastly, knock it off.” I grunted after finding my voice. Koga raised an eyebrow at first, but backed up in surprise when a laughing Gastly suddenly appeared in front of his face. “You’re a bit of a prankster, aren’t you.


“You can say that again.” Rose smirked. “I think he’s the one that was playing with the door back at the Tower, too.”


“Really? Well, at least he doesn’t mean any harm with his pranks. That’s more than can be said of his friends.” I sighed.


“Ahem!” Koga coughed. “I do believe we were about to battle.”


That got Gastly’s attention. He looked at me with a quizzical expression that begged for an explanation. Another stupid mistake. I hadn’t talked to him about anything other than what his gender was. He probably had no idea when we set off that battling would be part of his resume. Ugh, great way to make yourself look stupid there!


“Right Gastly, are you ready?” I asked hopefully, even though I had that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was about to go very, very wrong. Gastly stared at me for a bit longer, then smiled suddenly and reappeared in front of me, facing Weezing. Was he going to fight?


“Good, now then, we’ll begin.” Koga said as he threw his hand up. “Weezing, erm…” He trailed off. That’s right, what to use on something immune to poison and physical attacks! It covered all attack methods Weezing had! I felt a grin creep on my face as I called to Gastly.


“Gastly, use Nightshade!”




“Eh, Gastly?” I tried again. Gastly turned around with a bored expression and yawned. Koga and Rose just watched with stunned expressions.


“Is… is that thing mocking us?!” Koga stammered. Weezing looked pretty miffed itself and suddenly fired a massive amount of Sludge at Gastly, who now had his back turned. The ghost shot up without looking and dodged the attack with no real effort – but then I realised it was heading for me next. I managed to suppress an outburst of anger after barely dodging the attack.


“Alright, I know you’re probably a bit pissed off that I dragged you out here to fight, but can you please help me win this one?” I asked – but Gastly’s only response was silently staring at me from above. “… I’ll treat you to whatever it is you eat?” I tried again. Koga was starting to look quite impatient by now.


“Is your Pokémon going to follow an order today, or can I declare this a forfeit?” He spoke sternly. Suddenly Gastly appeared in front of my face and I found myself unable to move as he showed me images from the early morning, where Blaze torched him before his capture, and how he’d been flying around all day. And how he’d helped Maxim’s Magikarp? I had to blink a few times before that sank in.


Then suddenly I found myself staring at an empty plate floating in the air.


“Oh, that’s right. Ghosts don’t eat, silly me.” I chuckled as I lowered my head and kneeled to pick up Gastly’s Pokéball. “Sorry,” I muttered at the ghost, “my bad.” Then I called him back. Needless to say, this triggered a few surprised reactions. Rather than stay and explain my reasons, I just thanked Koga for the nice battle and walked out.




“So, are you going to tell me what that was about?” Rose asked, probably out of genuine interest, and she didn’t even sound peeved or disappointed. I glanced back at her for a moment as I tried to answer that question for myself. In the end I decided to at least not ignore it.


“Nah,” I said. “I’m more worried about what you’re going to do.” This seemed to catch her off-guard, which pretty much answered my question all by itself, but I explained anyway. “Since I lost, I’m stuck here for at least another day, maybe more, waiting for my Pokémon to recover. But since you won, that slows you down. Don’t know if you’re in a hurry, but…” I trailed.


“Aw, worried that I’ll leave you?” She said sweetly… but even though I wasn’t looking, I could feel her smirk. “Don’t worry, I’m not in a rush. We can go check out the Safari Zone while you wait. They have lots of rare Pokémon; it’ll be a great filler.”


And so, unknowingly, she was following what had been my plan all along. Except my plan hadn’t included the losing to Koga bit. After dumping my Pokémon into the care of Nurse Joy – this time making sure to give all of them – we booked ourselves rooms for the night. As I received my key and made my way to my room, I congratulated myself on keeping my disappointment a well-kept secret… until I got inside.




“Man, what a farce. I’m even a failure in my dreams.” I growled before I punched the wall of my room to try and vent some pent up aggression. “Aah!” I swallowed what was left of the shout as I grasped my hand. They always punched walls in cartoons, but apparently doing so for real was a bad idea. That hurt. I suddenly stared at my hand in amazement. Pain… And it felt very real indeed.


Opening and closing my hand a few times as the pain subsided, I started wondering why I was still here. This was lasting way longer than any dream should’ve, or at least longer than any dream I ever had before. Shouldn’t I have woken up by now? I had gone along with it until now, but it had been almost twenty-four hours since I woke up in this place. And I knew I didn’t normally sleep that long. But then, in dreams time could be relative, right? Maybe it passed faster here. Maybe it had only been a few minutes of sleep. Stranger things happened in dreams. Or maybe this isn’t a dream at all...


But thinking that was silly, right?


I let myself fall down on the bed and stared at the ceiling as I moved my arms under my head. I was about to sleep in my sleep. Could it get any weirder than that? Was that even possible at all? Maybe I wasn’t sleeping. Maybe I was in a coma or something. I did get knocked out by lightning before waking up here. Maybe the electric charge messed with my head. The brain works with electric charges too, after all. Maybe, maybe, maybe… I really have to stop thinking this way or I’ll go insane! Come on, random thought change, go! Think Safari Zone!


Yeah, tomorrow we were going to visit the Safari Zone, and that meant walking lots again while my Pokémon recovered from today’s battle. I needed my rest now and maybe I’d figure out all this dreaming crap in the morning. With that settled, I sighed once as I closed my eyes, then turned on my side in an attempt to sleep.



And that’s when I remembered I had left the lights on.


Damn it…




- II -


Author’s Note


HAI GAIS! I just thought I’d drop in again real quick to see if things are alright out there. I actually promised this update sometime last year, I think, but… yeah. Stuff happened, people died, I lost my drive. So why am I writing now? Because I’m sick with worry and I’m desperately trying to get my mind off the shot I’m supposed to get within the next 90 minutes. … Why does “90 minutes” make it sound so much closer than “one-and-a-half hours”? >_<


Oh, and erm, see if you can find the quick fix. There’s cookies in it for anyone that notices what I just straight-out forgot up until now.


Chapter eight: The Safari Zone can be a dangerous place. In more ways than one… OH GOD IT’S A LION, EVERYONE, GET IN THE… Oh CRAP, we don’t HAVE a car!! Is this the end?!




- III -


Legal Gibberish


I do not in any way own Pokémon or any of its copyrights and rights of other merchandise related to it. All characters and places in this story are entirely fictional and taken from or based on various aspects of the Pokémon universe. Any form of copying and/or misuse of this story by others will be reported. Please respect the imagination and effort made by others. Stealing is bad, don’t do it.