Insert [Name]


- I -






Hello there fellow fictionists, and welcome to my awesome tale. Might as well get the introductions over with now, because what you’re really interested in is of course the story. I am a nineteen year old guy, currently residing in the small speck of land called the Netherlands. My name is Rick, which is my first name in case you’re wondering, and you’re not getting my last for several reasons. First of all because in the land of Pokémon only Ash’s last name seems to matter, and secondly because you wouldn’t be able to pronounce it properly anyway. Dutch names come with being Dutch, so you must live with it. I’m a fairly normal human being, you know, two arms, two legs, a head… you get the picture. This human is just about 179 cm tall, or short, depending on your personal views, and weighs in at an astonishing 61 kg. You could call me the average male in almost all aspects, which I myself find quite handy when it comes to ‘blending in’. The thing setting me apart is my mindset. I have been called random, insane, psychotic, arrogant, antisocial, egotistical, pathetic, pitiful, and weird, anything but average basically. However, I’ve always considered myself as ‘one of the guys’ regardless (what can I say, humans are pack animals)… well that’s a blatant lie, actually. I’ve always been a loner, a hermit, an einzelganger in all my life. But all that has changed suddenly, after a major boost of my self esteem and general happiness, and no one around me knows why. No one except me that is, but I’d be mad to tell them. I’m telling you now though, and do you know why? Because it makes a brilliant story. A brilliant “OT” story, that is. Because… I’ve been there! Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt, as one would say. Sure, you could consider this ‘just another lame self-insert fic’ if you must, but at least judge after the read, ok? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe what happened to me two years ago…




A thunderstorm was brewing outside as I got home, soaking wet, and dumped my bag in the corner of the hall. Shouting a quick “I’m home” at the living room when I passed the door, I dashed up the stairs to my room. I was eager to see the trusty glow of my computer screen after another long day at school. At least it offered me some escape from the boredom that came with the daily drag of my life. After quickly hitting several buttons in succession, the machine sprung to life with a soft hum. I stretched before setting myself down on the chair and pulled the keyboard towards me while the screen blipped to life, asking for my username and password. As I complied my window lit up with a sudden lightning flash and I gazed outside for a few moments before the low rumble of the accompanying thunder reached my ears. Not that I could see much from my window, my view getting distorted by the water flowing down it, but for some reason the rain made me feel more at ease. Turning my attention back to the screen I saw that all my settings had loaded, so I quickly got to work. Taking advantage of our broadband connection I browsed through all my usual sites in a matter of minutes, not seeing anything note worthy along the way. I sighed and closed the Internet browser, so much for alleviating my boredom. Then I remembered something, something I hadn’t done in quite a while. Quickly clicking my way through several folders, I reached my destination; the VBA Emulator. Visual Boy Advanced, a combination of all handheld Nintendo platforms. I grinned as I started the program and opened my Pokémon Blue ROM file, quite curious to see where I had left off last time. The speed being set to five times the norm, the intro was finished in a matter of seconds and the screen loaded the small pack of houses that made up Lavender Town. Another flash diverted my attention, this time followed immediately by a loud, thundering boom. That one was close, and I paused for a moment to ask myself where it could’ve hit. Silently hoping it had struck my school, I redirected my attention back to the game with a giddy chuckle.


“Aw man, you’re joking…” I muttered as I frowned at the screen in disappointment. My progress wasn’t exactly good, as it seemed I had just barely made it out of the Rock Tunnel in one piece and with my semi-decent line up in tatters. I remembered I hadn’t really been very patient when I was younger, and attributed the lack of strength to my lacking of that virtue. Oh well, I did have three badges, things could’ve been worse. Even if my strongest battler had hardly reached level twenty five. I would have to make due with this, despite being used to my Fire Red save that had all of the creatures well into the level eighties. It didn’t take long for me to be repossessed by the old school game and I set about upping the levels a bit before trekking further. That’s when the lightning struck. It happened so fast I couldn’t consciously track what happened, but it must’ve struck me head on, right through both the window and my PC. I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t register any pain, in fact, if it wasn’t for my body going numb I doubt I would’ve noticed anything at all. And that’s when everything went black…




The bell went off with a loud ring, signalling that dinner was ready. As with every other day, Rick had immediately withdrawn back into his room the moment he got home, so his mother grabbed the phone and dialled his number on the ‘intercom’. Waiting patiently for him to pick up, she turned off the stove and opened a drawer to get forks and knives. After letting it ring twenty times, she switched off the phone. Sighing impatiently, she made her way to the staircase and took in a good breath of air.


“Rick, dinner’s ready! Get it while it’s still hot!” With that said, she turned back to the table. Ten more minutes passed without her son coming down to eat. Now genuinely annoyed, she interrupted her meal and stomped back to the staircase, intent on giving him a piece of her mind after yelling him downstairs. Reaching the stairs, she took in yet another deep breath.


“Rick! Dinner!” No reply.


“Don’t make me come up there!” More silence. Now fuming, Mom made her way up the stairs while readying her arsenal for a verbal battle. Once upstairs she quickly turned the corner and reached for the doorknob. When she opened it however, she cried out in shock. It wasn’t the molten window, nor was it the scorched computer sitting on the desk, but it was Rick’s unscathed form lying on the floor that had made her jump. There wasn’t a mark on him, yet he lay sprawled out on the ground, staring up at the ceiling with an empty look like no one was home. The rhythmic swelling of his chest assured her that he was still breathing, but it was the only motion he made. He didn’t even blink.




- II -


Author’s Note


How’s that for a flashing start, hmm? Just wait, things get even better. This thing will have everything you’d expect from a standard self insert fic. From the teenaged emo angst of the main character (me), to the pointless feud with a random Team Rocket agent after only a single encounter. The thing this fic will have that most don’t, is a proper way of weaving this all together into one coherent whole. Again, as I said in the intro, judge after the read, please. It really won’t be all that bad, I promise.

… Do you reckon I should throw in the ‘invincible OC’ cliché too?




- III -


Legal Gibberish


I do not in any way own Pokémon or any of its copyrights and rights of other merchandise related to it. All characters and places in this story are entirely fictional and taken from or based on various aspects of the Pokémon universe. Any form of copying and/or misuse of this story by others will be reported. Please respect the imagination and effort made by others. Stealing is bad, don’t do it.



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