Giovanni Genovese In His Own Words

Leon Placid and Sylph Knight

I'D LIKE TO GET STRAIGHT to the point. I've got lots of things I'd like to say to lots of different people, but if I had to say just one thing to everyone, just one thing that would totally sum up everything I think and feel, it'd be this:


     Yeah, you heard me, you retarded piece of shit! You don't like that, huh. Like the fuck I care! I'll ask you a damn question: Why the fuck does everyone always want a goddamn explanation for everything I fucking do? If I really told you people, there's no fucking way any of you'd ever fucking get it. So here's my explanation to all you shitheaded motherfuckers out there: I don't give a fuck what you think! I don't give a flying fuck what the fuck anyone fucking thinks! People tell me all the time what they think. Fuck them! They're wasting their fucking time! I only care about one thing in life and it ain't them! Sometimes, it's all I can stand; I wish everyone'd just fuck off already! I ain't your mom, I ain't your pops, I ain't the president of your goddamn country! Go bitch to them! Who knows, maybe they still give a fuck! I sure don't! I wish everyone would quit wasting my fucking time with all their motherfucking bullshit! That bother you any? Well too bad, bitchass! Fuck your granny! Fuck your bitching mom! Go fuck yourself, and fuck your hamster, too, while you're at it! I'm the motherfucking leader of fucking Team fucking Rocket! This is the way I am, and that's the bottom line!

     So, what the fuck do I care about? That's a legitimate question--and an easy one: I want Power. Power is everything. The more of it you have, the better off in this world you are, bottom line. People spend all their fucking time wondering why the fuck their lives are such fucked-up, suckass pieces of shit. Well I got their answer for them: They're powerless! They've got no will, no drive of any kind! Fuck man, who's gonna get anywhere like that? No one, that's who! No fucking way! My will and my drive for absolute power separate me from every other fucking pathetic evolved microbe on this planet. So, people shouldn't be surprised I'm on top of the game right now. No one in this world gets their goddamn lives handed to 'em on no fucking silver platter! You make yourself, or this fucked-up world makes you! That's the fucking bottom line. Anyone thinks otherwise, they'll soon find out how fucked they are. Me? I know too much. I've been fucked over too many times now to think this place is about anything less than fucking the other guy, before he fucks you. This world's a pretty fucked piece of shit. I don't give a fuck about that either. I didn't create the problems here; I was just born into them. Don't blame me. And don't come whining to me either when I fuck you over. 'Cause I will. One day, I'll have fucked everyone over. I'm the big motherfucker now, and I ain't got no intentions of giving this fucking game up. Especially not now. Hell no. I'm winning this fucking thing! I've fucked Indigo. I've fucked Jhoto. I've fucked Orange. I've fucked all the major Leagues around here. It won't be long, sucker: I'm gonna totally fuck the whole IPL! I got countless world organizations with my name on them! The top suppliers of raw materials around here answer to me! World governments fear me! I got whole countries under my thumb! Oh, it's greatness: when I've fucked the whole world, I still won't be done! I'll put my ass in a motherfucking spaceship and go fuck the motherfucking moon!

     I've got three basic things in life I want to accomplish. I've already touched on the first: I'm here to take over this place, bottom line. When I've got the universe under my thumb, then I'll be happy. Nothing less will do for me. Like I said, that's just the way I am, and I don't really care what the fuck anyone else thinks about that. I don't answer to anybody else. I answer to me. And I says, this whole place is one, big, fucked-up piece of shit. The only way to fix that is to out-fuck the fuckers who're fucking things up around here and put their fucking asses in the motherfucking ground. I guess when all the real bad guys out there are finally dead and buried I'll have some peace for a while. I'm gonna say this and I want you motherfuckers to get it. You think I'm evil. Well, I got news for you. I ain't evil. So what the fuck am I then? After all the shit I do, what the hell do you call some big asshole like me? Well, I'll break it to you retards this way: Evil is just a means to an end for me, and that's the bottom line.

     So I'm gonna conquer this place. "Why do it by force", you wonder; "why use evil? What kind of fucking hypocrisy is this, saying you're a good guy but acting like a totally motherfucked maniac?" Don't make me laugh! Hey, I'd be a nice, decent, motherfucking compassionate person, if I could. You see, it just wouldn't do a shit's worth of good and all you fuckers out there know it! I'll tell you why I do what I do: 'Cause that's the only fucking thing you goddamn little fagots ultimately understand! Hell, what else am I to suppose do? You all need something you can respect; something that's too fucking big for you to even think of fucking with. When you're the biggest badass, everyone respects you, bottom line, and that's just who I am. I got the baddest ass on this planet, hands down, and you respect me because you fucking have to! I got nothing personal against all those kindhearted, genuine, mother-fucking-love-you "good" folk out there. They just don't understand what I do. I've been around way too long and seen just way too fucking much. Being evil is just the only fucking way anything ever gets fucking done around here. So, I'm being as fucking evil as I fucking can, and that's how I'm taking over this whole motherfucking place!

     My second goal: I want to rebuild the world. When I've finally put everything in its proper place, we can all finally start over. Democracy? The fuck! What kind of shitheaded idiot are you? Dictatorship, bitchass! Me on top, the rest of you on the bottom; that's the only way it'll ever fucking work! When I'm finally in total control of this world, I'm stayin' that way! Get that in your fucking head!

     See, there's one real important thing I've learned about the human race: without fail, you humans are creatures of habit. You're driven by physical and psychological needs you can't control. You're complicated animals, but that's all you are. I could let you have freedom, but you'll fucking abuse it, bottom line. You're a bunch of moronic, bitching, self-fucking brats, and if you ever want a chance to get yourselves straight, then someone's gotta fucking make you straighten up by fucking force! Believe it, I've been at this too long and that's just the way it gets done, bottom line. And what about me, you wonder? What about me. I ain't human anymore. Humans have compassion. I don't. Humans show kindness. I don't. Humans will let you get away with shit, then they'll fucking bitch about it like the hell they didn't see it coming. Never will you have that from me. Fuck no. I know what the fuck you think. I know how the fuck you think. I know it before you fucking know it. You can't fuck with me, but I fucking guarantee I sure as fuck can fuck you!

     Now, I'll let you in on just one thing: There is something humans have that I do. Humans can love. Believe it or not, I can, too, and I do. I got no shame: I love the whole fucking world. And yeah, I even love you fucking retarded humanoids that inhabit it and pretend you rule it and know what the fuck you're doing and all that other motherfucking bullshit you think and do. Sure. I fucking love each and every one of you little shits. That's why I gotta fucking put you all in your fucking place! That's why I fucking gotta put some of you in the motherfucking ground every now and then! That's why I fucking do what I fucking have to! Bottom line: I ain't evil; I just have to constantly employ the powers of fucking darkness because that's the only fucking thing you stupid motherfucked bitches understand! You respect power. Dark power. Fast, destructive, fuck-your-ass-if-you-ever-ever-even-think-of-crossing-me power! I got fuck-loads of that. Consequently, most of you tend to respect me. Fear me? Sure. Fear and respect; those words are virtually synonymous You will never have one without the other. You see, love comes from respect. You really can't love something you don't respect. Oh, I respect the human race, believe me, I do. So I fear it too? Yep; 'fucking scared to death of what the fuck will become of you poor fuckers if I don't fucking take over soon. You see, I respect mankind too much to let it go to shit, and that's just the bottom line.

     This leads me to the third thing I want to do: When I've taken over the world--shaped it into what I want it to be--then I'll leave it. Shit, don't look surprised. I don't wanna live here forever, fuck no--not even after I've set everything right; this place'll still suck. So what's the point of taking it over, you ask. That's a fair question. It's pretty simple, really. When you're a human, your goal in life is to rise above your humanity. You do that by making yourself grossly powerful; more powerful than any other human alive could ever hope to be. When you've done that, there's really nothing on your planet left for you to do. Sure, you could stick around, sit on your laurels, what the hell ever. It doesn't really matter at that point. The truth is, you'll soon realize nothing here's really good enough. You've gotta move on, always. Never get stagnant. You do nothing new long enough and you'll become like a pool of water that's sat out in the open too long, unmoving. You'll soon be full of bugs and scummy shit. That's what death is--stagnation. Everyone who dies does so because he looses his fire for life; because he stops doing things. Contentment inevitably leads to complacency, and complacency is death. Don't ever settle for less than everything! Ever! It's all or nothing, and you'll never get any of it as long as you do nothing, bottom line! So, when I've conquered Earth, straightened things out down here, I'll just go find me another world to do the same thing to. I mean, really; I can't show my unlimited benevolence to just one planet-load of fucked-up motherfucking punks, can I? Wouldn't that be shit! The fuck no! There's a whole universe of fucked-up motherfucking punks out there! Hell, what am I waiting for!

     So how the hell am I gonna accomplish all this? Oh God; you ask me that? How the fuck can I possibly explain that to you? Are you judging me already? The fuck; anyone can do that. So listen up; nothing I do is that complicated--it's just a bit hard to understand because you're all so limited in your thinking. You know, once, in an age long before ours, when real kings still ruled this world, they had sorcerers, magicians, sages, and priests--back when those guys really did the things legend says. Well, if you study your history thoroughly enough, dump the poetic bullshit and strain out the truth, you'll just see all the truly incredible stuff these long-gone wise shits did for the kings they served. And what the hell was so important about that? C'mon; use that puny brain of yours: what were they doing? Back then, they called it magic or divination or what the fuck ever. That's no different from the scientific research we do today. It's the same damn thing. You people today are so impressed with your "new technology". What the fuck ever. Your new technology's been around for ages! You morons never do anything new at all. You just re-invent the wheel, age after age. The only thing you really change is the hub cap. Your scientific research is aptly named. You just repeat yourselves. My scientific work is different. I have researchers, but unlike you guys, with my scientists, I create things that are new! I have to say, on the whole grand scale of things, they've done a fucking impressive job with what I've given them. I bitch at them to keep them in line. That's all. I kill a good scientist only when I have to; they're more valuable than all my other personnel in the world, combined. I reward talent, and I've made it a point to recruit only the best of the best out there--and keep'em. Once you're a Rocket scientist, you're one for life. And why the fuck would you wanna be anything else? The things we do here... they're mind blowing! Fact is, we're just shy of discovering the secrets of life and immortality itself. You tell me if anyone else out there is doing that! Rocket technology is by far the best anywhere. I know. I'm always looking. When I hear about something innovative, I hunt down the minds that came up with it and the hands that built it, and I usually get both. There've been some exceptions, sure; but I've put most of those in the ground already. I ain't worried about resistance. It's futile. Especially if you're just some puny science genius Yeah, you better believe it; genius is a great thing--the only thing that sets any human apart from the masses of morons that surround him. That's me all over. I got a little science genius in me--I got a little of every kind of genius in me. But I'm mostly made of conquest genius, and personally, I think that's the best kind to have. Conquest genius is what makes a god out of a mere man. The only humans that truly count for anything are the ones that know how to make other humans do what they want them to. No true, book-worming, computer-savvy, technology-eating, nerdy-ass science genius can stand up to the likes of me. They all know that. I scare the shit out of'em. I have the power to make their life hell, and I've got the power to make their lives totally free of every care in the world. They need funding for their new projects? No problem. They need something to put their incredible brains to work on? What are you waiting for, I've got lots of ideas! They need a life pension, a mansion, money, cars, exotic vacations, unquenchable pleasure and ultimate security--for them and their families? Hey, I spare no reasonable expense. Just do your work and do it right. I reward integrity. Like I've said before, I'm not a bad guy.

     So, what does that have to do with me leaving? Well, let's back up a bit: I've got four things I've gotta do before I can go find another world to conquer The first two I've already mentioned--conquer this planet; get it working right. The third I've hinted at, and as of now, it's virtually taken care of . The key to my third goal is technology. Right now, my facilities are capable of putting a manned crew on Mars, the nearest, most possibly inhabitable planet in our solar system. I sent a team there and got them back again, no problem. I can visit that place anytime I want. With this technology, I'll be able to go anywhere. No world will be out of my reach! I've also got new biometric technology (my team just gave their full report and demonstration yesterday; I was fucking beside myself! These guys really do great work when you threaten them with death enough. I was pretty fucking pleased). You know what that means? That means I can be physically reconstructed to the point of immortality! Just think of it: Giovanni, the badass leader of fucking Team Rocket won't die! Never! They'll just replace the shell my fucking brain sits in until they figure out how to keep the whole damn thing permanently operational (I expect them to figure that out, too). By the time I'm done here, all the basic technology I need will be totally seamless. With it, I'll be invincible, and when I'm invincible, whose gonna stop me? I'll tell ya who! No one! I'll take this place, I'll make it how I want it to be, and I'll do the same thing over and over and over again to every world, planet, dimension and fucking parallel universe out there! Yes, technology is a truly great thing; it's the genius of the gods put into human terms, and that's the bottom line.

     So, quick review: I'm gonna rule the world, so I gotta take it over. When I've done that, I'm gonna recreate it. When I've done that, I'm gonna leave this magma-infested piece of shit for some other place to do the same fucking thing to. That leaves just one more thing, and it's the very last part of my plan. On the whole of things, those first three parts haven't been that hard to come up with, and they haven't even been that hard to do. But this last piece has really taken me some time to sort through. You see, my whole goal for my life here is to become the sole goddamn ruler of the universe. Far as I can see, there's no way that won't happen. My nearest rivals are so far behind me right now that I don't even give them a second's worth of notice, and the only people out there who could really give me competition don't seem to give a shit about anything but saving humanity and keeping the whole fucking race stagnated just the way it is. It's pretty pathetic really, wasting time, talent and resources like that, but oh well! When I've won, that just means I really take all! To this day, I've succeeded at virtually everything I've put myself to. But there's always been this one part of my plan that I just couldn't seem to figure out; one little detail I couldn't cover for. When I leave this place, I ain't leaving it on its own. Everything I take, I keep, bottom line. But how the hell am I gonna keep this fucking piece of shit working right if I'm not even here anymore? Pick any place on this planet; you name it and I can be there in no time flat, the technology I've got at my finger tips is that incredibly advanced. So, I'm virtually omnipresent here. In any given day, I travel to at least three different parts of the globe, and I'm back before my afternoon's over, no problem. I scare the living fuck out of people because I just show up in their front lobby with my crew and they're like, "Fuck! I was jus' talking to you on the holophone, man, and you was still back at your base! What the fuck!" Hell, the fucked up look on their faces, man! It's the greatest shit ever! You gotta fuckin' love it! So, in short, traveling on this planet is nothing for me; I can be anywhere I want, any time I want, with nothing but a few minutes between departure and destination.

     But that's not enough. Things become even less simple when you bring inter-planetary travel into the picture. Someday, they will be, but that's still not the point. The point is, no matter how fast I can get from here to there, I simply can't be here and there at the same fucking time. And why would I want to do that? That would mean duplicating myself--duplicating myself exactly--and there's just no fucking way I'll ever do that! There's gonna be one Giovanni in this universe, period. Only a complete motherfucking idiot would be stupid enough to have something else running around that was just as intelligent and ambitious as he is. No clones, no copies; bottom line. But after thinking it over, I realized that a clone wasn't that far off the mark from the final solution I needed to make my whole plan perfectly seamless. You see, when I leave, all I need is to leave something behind that'll watch over this place for me, and keep it running the way I want. I don't' need another me to do that. Do I need a copy of myself to look after all my corporation's financial work every minute of every day? Do I need a Giovanni clone to watch my stock, track my business ventures, manage my research teams and run my underground crime world? Fuck no; I put someone else on all that! And I got solid people working for me. My whole system works because I put the right people in the right places, bottom line. That's basically how my business runs itself.

     So, if I'm gonna leave planet Earth, all I need is the right person running the show while I'm away.

     Well, hell, I thought, that shouldn't be too hard! But you know, it's kinda funny: I can't trust anyone outside of my organization, but I've made everyone inside Team Rocket into such back-stabbing fucks, I can't trust a one of 'em, either! No way I'll leave any of them in charge. I realized that I still needed someone like me... someone who's just like me but who'll never betray me, ever. I looked for a long time, trying to find that person. I even put my researchers to work on our AI development, hoping to create what I wanted from scratch, but that project was just taking too fucking long. I really needed the biometric technology first, and I can't have two projects of such magnitude running at once and hope to get anything at all from either of'em. Maximum results come from focusing everything you've got on what you want, first things first, bottom line. I focused all my mind, all my will on solving this problem, and that's when it finally came to me. Just like that, I knew what to do. And it was so fucking simple.

     So fuck this world! Fuck your gerbil! Fuck your cat and fuck your dog! And while your at it, fuck the kid down the street! Chop her foot off and shove it up her ass! Take her head and fry it in the microwave until it explodes! Mwahaha! That's funny as hell, I gotta tell ya! Here's out to everyone: all my colleagues, contemporaries, and all the gangsters out there; to all the kings, queens, presidents, chairmen and all the rulers of the nations; to all the corporations, federations, and coalitions; to the leagues and alliances; to all the workers of world cooperation and peace; to the average person and pokémon, all over the whole fucking world: MY MIDDLE FINGER UP YOUR ASSES, ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!! FUCK THE FUCK OFF!!

HA, HA, HA!!!

. . .

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